A Collection Of Geodesic One-Shots

by GeodesicDragon

[BL OC ST V UKoE] Pizza Time - Scottish Version

Eight Bit strolled up to the door, pizza box in hoof, and knocked gently on the door. It was a perfect moonlit night, the streetlights providing a comforting backdrop to the peaceful town of Ponyville.

Not getting an answer, the stallion knocked on the door again. This time it opened, revealing a mare. She looked at him and smiled.

"Here’s yer pizza, you skank," he said. "Fourteen inches ae shite, in a box.” He held out his other forehoof expectedly. "Noo gies twenty-seven bits or I’ll fuckin' hammer ye."

The mare bit her lip and ran a forehoof through her long blonde mane. "Och, get tae fuck," she replied. "Jist gie me a meenit tae look through mah purse." She produced her purse and looked through it, eventually closing it and sighing. "Ach, bollocks, I dinnae hae enough money oan me... here, if I wis tae let you fuck me, wid ye let me aff wi'oot payin'?"

Eight Bit stared at the mare.

The mare stared back.

Eventually, he shook his head — then opened the box and shoved the pizza into the mare’s face. She gasped in shock, screaming as some thick gooey stuff got stuck to her face and mane. She dropped to the ground, Eight Bit dumping the box next to her.

"Naw," he said, glaring at the writhing mare. "Twenty-seven bits, or I’m takin' yer fuckin' kneecaps."

He spat in her face. "Cunt."

Author's Note:

After they read the previous version, Zos attempted to read it. Only thing is, every time he reads something, his accent turns into something resembling Scots (his words, not mine).

So, I decided to translate it.

Once again, I do not condone violence against women.