A Collection Of Geodesic One-Shots

by GeodesicDragon

[2P C H UKoE] Pun-ishment

STORY #25

Pun-ishment

You are standing at your kitchen counter holding a knife in one hand, ready to make the first cut, when your front door swings open and an alicorn walks in.

"Hi, Twilight," you say, waving politely. "What brings you here?"

"Hello there," she says. "I have received several reports that you were seen carrying fish, and I would like to know if said reports are true. If they are, then I would like to know where you got it from." You point at the counter and she sighs. "Well, that's the reports confirmed." Twilight looks around for a moment. "So... would you care to explain where all this fish came from?"

"Well, it's like this," you reply. "Some of the otters Fluttershy looks after apparently took pity on me and asked her to bring some."

"Oh, right," Twilight nods, then coughs. "I'm sorry I barged in like that, I guess I should have asked you first, rather than jump to conclusions and assume the worst."

"It's fine, Twilight," you hold up a hand reassuringly. "I don't mind, really, but next time... make sure you know your plaice."

Twilight lets out a sigh of relief. "Thanks," she says. "That really means a lot to— did you just make a pun?"

"For cod's sake, Twilight," you playfully roll your eyes. "It took you long enough to notice."

Twilight sighs. "Okay, stop it," she says. "It's not funny."

"Could you repeat that?" you ask. "I'm sorry, but I've got a bit of a herring problem." Twilight doesn't reply. "Don't worry, though, because it usually sorts itself trout in the end."

"If you're going to start doing this, then I'm leaving," Twilight replies. "Let me know when you've grown up."

She starts to leave, but you stop her. "All right, I'm sorry," you say. "I was just having a laugh... even if those puns were a bit carp."

No longer able to keep a straight face, you fall over laughing. You clutch your sides and roll around on the floor, not noticing the faintest trace of a smile grace Twilight's lips.

"I'll admit," she says as you finally stand up. "Some of those puns were good... though you cod have done batter."

You gasp. "You hypocrite!" you say, pointing at her. "And you got on at me for making puns!"

Twilight giggles. "I'm sorry," she says. "I just couldn't resist. But... if you come up with any new puns, let minnow as soon as you can."

With that, she walks out of your house and closes the door behind her — leaving you standing in the middle of your kitchen with a stunned expression on your face.

Looks like I'm the one who needs to learn his 'plaice'.

Author's Note:

Once again, I have the UK of Equestria TeamSpeak users to thank for this. I can't remember exactly what we were talking about prior to me making most of these puns, but I do remember that they got me kicked off the server.

Greatodyer (who kicked me) then made the two puns about 'cod do batter' and 'let minnow', so thanks to him for contributing — even if he is a massive hypocrite.

Comments

[GeodesicDragon]

4234407

Aww man, now I'm seeing it. Dammit, something else I want to commission but can't afford!

Also, Saints Row IV is awesome.