A Collection Of Geodesic One-Shots

by GeodesicDragon

[2P OM H C BL V] Sombra's Revenge

STORY #12

Sombra's Revenge

"Your precious Twilight Sparkle is ours now," Sombra says menacingly, "and there's not a single thing you can do about it."

He punctuates this with some clichéd evil laughter. You drop to your knees and look towards the sky, letting out a cry that pierces the heavens themselves.

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"

Sombra laughs some more as some epic bad-guy type music starts playing from out of nowhere. He doesn't seem to notice but you do, and you look around in confusion.

"Now," he snarls, "you will meet all of my demands. If you meet these demands then I may consider giving her back to you."

He stomps a forehoof into the ground.

"But if you don't meet my demands," he continues, "then something very bad will happen."

You look him straight in the eyes.

"Very well, Sombra." You say curtly. "What are your demands?"

Sombra blinks in surprise. He obviously wasn't expecting you to ask him that question.

"Uhh..." He flounders for a moment, "Hold on, I've got a piece of paper here somewhere."

He rummages around and produces a piece of paper. He looks at it for a moment before snorting.

"Who the fuck writes this shit?" he mutters to himself, though you still heard it. After a moment, he clears his throat.

"The demands," he says dramatically, "are five million bits."

He pauses for effect.

"And... and... and... that's it."

You roll your eyes and sigh before producing your wallet. You still don't know how you could hold all your bits, but you had other things on your mind right now.

You start counting your bits. If you had magic this would be done in a breeze. By the time you reach the seventeen-thousand mark Sombra is nearly dying of boredom. He growls and charges his horn with magic, taking your wallet in his aura.

"You've only got 4,999,999 bits!" He bellows. "... very well! I shall make a new challenge!"

"Really?" You mutter. "And what will that challenge be?"

Sombra puts a hoof to his chin and starts rubbing it while the gears in his head start to turn. A few minutes pass before he gets an idea, throwing his forehoof into the air with a gasp.

"You must go around Ponyville stark naked..." he says with a malevolent grin, "while doing the Gangnam Style dance!"

He breaks out the evil laughter again as the bad-guy music grinds to a halt. You fold your arms and stare at him.

"Okay," you say simply, "I'll do it."

Sombra stops laughing and gawks at you as you remove all your clothes and run out into the street shouting like a madman.

"Oppa Gangnam Style!"

You come back a few minutes later with a very smug grin on your face, Sombra still standing where you left him. He blinks a couple of times before he finally speaks.

"Now this..." He mumbles. "This... this... this didn't go exactly like I had hoped it would."

He lets out a long sigh before he shrugs.

"Screw it." He charges up his horn again and a familiar mare suddenly appears in front of you. "Have your stupid lavender unicorn, human, because I don't need her!"

"Yay!" You exclaim happily as you grab the stunned Twilight in a crushing embrace.

"Gah!" She squeals. "Not so tight, you're going to h—"

Suddenly there's a loud pop, and you find yourself covered in blood and unicorn insides. Sombra looks at you for a moment before he falls over laughing. You look at the splattered remains of your mare and let out a single word.

"... fuck."

Author's Note:

Inspired by a random as hell Skype conversation which I had with PinkiePieStyle16.

Comments

[John 117]

What.

[GeodesicDragon]

2755298

That's what I thought once I'd finished writing it.

[John 117]

2755551 I'm not complaining. It's good. But still.....I guess that was the purpose behind these shorts anyways.