• Member Since 29th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Oct 20th, 2013

Adrian Brony


T

Fresh out of the academy, two rookie recruits find that the glory and honor of serving the princess ends up landing them in the scariest and most awkward situation in their lives.

originally Written for the Equestria Daily June 2011 Friendoff. (the friendoff is something they used to do where writers would write fics about a piece of fanart, and an artist would draw based on a fic.)

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 17 )

im going to fallow this. :rainbowkiss:

Weirdest. Cover Image. Ever. :twilightoops:

there are some words that could be fixed; but what i learned is you pre read every thing you wight. plus its fun to read what you made.

171555 this was written about that image for an event. don't worry, the image is not quite what it looks like... not that the guards can tell. :scootangel:

Besides some minor grammar issues, (run-on here, lowercase proper nouns there) it was pretty good. :pinkiehappy:

But the question is this... What does Celestia do when one of her initiates isn't shy, and jumps right in?

172301

photo still taken, and put on display in the lounge. it'll make them a bit more humble to know that everyone knows they got tricked.

i wish it was longer.

173693

That's what she said.

Had to.

that ewas a funny and well written story. grats . simply grats.

*Grins* cute, leaves a bit of an odd taste in my mouth but still cute stuff.

435035 Care to elaborate a bit? I'm just curious is all.

437510
For sure, i didn't mean to be oblique, I seem to recall reading it right before I fell asleep and I always do my best to comment on any fic I read because I know feedback can be good.

Anyways I had issue with the whole abuse of power for the sake of a joke/hazing ritual. It was a cool idea and whatnot but the idea of them being exploited like that just really made me uncomfortable. Partly due to some bad history on my part I'm sure.

I like your stuff though and I'm definitely gonna check out your other fics. I really like your writing style it was just the story itself I took issue with.:unsuresweetie:

437591

I definitely understand that. and really, the main reason I did that was a sort of parody of the whole molestia thing that some people imagine. I understand that whole hazing thing, but at the same time, hazing is a thing that happens in organizations like this. At most, I consider it an extension of the training more than anything else. If it's any better I did consider implying that no real harm would have come to them if they refused, but cut it out because I couldn't fit it in without it feeling clunky and awkward to the script.

but yeah, it was exploitation, and it is morally ambiguous, but it is what it is. I never said or implied it was okay any more than I implied it wasn't because that kind of isn't the point of the work.

If it's any better I did consider implying that no real harm would have come to them if they refused

Of course, the line "this is an order. You wouldn't want to be found guilty of treason, would you?" is far enough in the opposite direction that it counts as a threat which all but states outright disciplinary harm would come to them if they refused. I don't know how you could've written it differently as Feather Stroke probably wouldn't have agreed without a line like that, but as it is it's their boss making employee's lick her face/body based on an empty threat of disciplinary action, so t I don't think a line implying no harm would come to them would work with a line blatantly implying harm already in the scene

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