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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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A/N: Hello, everyone. Wellspring here.This is my second fic and, consequently, the second of my "Tragic Villain" series, this time featuring our beloved Rarity. All About Rarity is my nod and tribute to the classic age-old films I know and love (e.g. All About Eve [hence the title], 12 Angry Men, Sunset Blvd., On the Waterfront, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, etc) where violence were not in gunfights but resides in the dialogue–and where fiery explosions were not fired by giant robots but erupted from the hearts and souls of the characters. Despite my ambitious attempt, it should be kept in mind that the primary purpose of this fic is for my own practice and experimentation. I would very much appreciate your generous feedback and criticism, especially on these three points:
1.) First-Person Present Tense
2.) Psychological and/or emotional projection during sex (clop scenes)
3.) Pacing and exposition.
I hope, however, that despite the scrutiny the reader may wish to administer, it should not, in anyway, prevent him/her from enjoying the fanfic.
All the best.
-Wellspring /)
PS. Rarijack is best ship.
eight dislikes and yet no comments. well this story was confusing i had no idea what was going on half of the time. and the summery is just as confusing.
Beautiful.
I did spot a few spelling errors:
perhaps was supposed to be:
My eyes are still on that pendulum for a moment, and how it swings almost imperceptibly.
Still.
Wonderful piece. Poetic, subtle, powerful. I loved the showing-not-telling.
Dislikers don't know what they're missing.
If it wasn't clop, I'd say try for EQD.
EDIT: Have you heard of Equestria After Dark? It's like the clop version of EQD. Try sending this fic there. It deserves an audience.
i love the clopping on this part :D
2193955
Dislikers don't know what they're missing.
My thoughts exactly. This guy has a knack for creating engaging pieces.
What the... there's just way too much liquid pride in my eyes. OMG make it stoooop.
2195751
A little confused by this. Have you read all three chapters?
2196797
Just finished the last chapter. I guess I was expecting clarification before now.
Hope the author plans to finish this. I couldn't stop reading.
It is well written, that is for sure. It just doesn't feel right reading a MLP story where every character is a terrible person.
Well, I am... somewhat torn on this one. On one side, it's a bit outside of my normal cup of tea (I'm more of your typical vanilla romance-type, maybe a bit bittersweet), but on the other side, it's not very often you see a story like this (that is quite well-written and not just pointless clop).
So... I'm very interested in seeing how we get from here, to the very first scene. Therefore, I'll be tracking this for now.
This is going to end badly, methinks.
As interesting as that description was, I feel it might have gone better in the prologue. When you get right down to it, it's supposed to be an advertisement for your story. While this description is well-written and interesting, it's quite a slog to get through all that dialect, and in the end, it only communicates the themes you're working with rather than the content or concept of your story. If I had to guess, I would have said it was a Photo Finish/Rarity fic. Nothing in there suggests Rarijack.
I'll certainly put this on my to-read list, though.
2211356
Don't worry, Rarity is the only (helplessly) "terrible" person in this fic.
2220435
Thank you very much for the comment, this is the reaction I wanted from my readers. I have added a new description to clarify the things you have pointed out. I did not think I was confusing the reader that much.
2222244 Yes, she seems to be the only irredeemable pony, but Applejack and Twilight both are, well, bitchier than normal too. It's okay, I just feel sorry for Rarity. Whenever there's a story that portrays one of the mane six as selfish and cruel, you can be sure that chances are it's Rarity. Darling, why would you do this to me?
That's okay. It's very OOC for the show, but it's still well written and entertaining.
2222277
One thing I don't understand, how can you find both Twilight and Applejack 'bitchy?' If you've read all three chapters, I think you'll find that Applejack goes out of her way to please Rarity, and Twilight's reaction to all this is well within the bounds of reason.
2224535 They're not necessarily "bitchy" (I need to find a different word, how about jerks?) on an absolute scale, just more so than they're usually portrayed. Applejack is trying to make Rarity notice her, but she's not taking rejection well. Twilight is just more forceful about things, wanting her friends to be friends again so much that she locks Rarity in a room alone with Applejack, her attempted-rapist. Both Twilight and Applejack are perfectly understandable in their actions (if not right), they're just more... impatient than usual? More easily agitated? More forceful?
Like I said, it doesn't really hurt the story, as they seem to act consistently in the universe here, it's just OOC when compared to the show and other works.
Rarijack is the best ship, but have you considered her rival EmenaPie? ?
I would not say it is confusing, but your psychological description did take a little getting used to. And it's very original.
Poor Applejack, her first time is a substitute for Shining Armor. Looking forward to the rest of this!
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Twilight is just more forceful about things, wanting her friends to be friends again so much that she locks Rarity in a room alone with Applejack, her attempted-rapist.
Well when you put it that way
I see your point. While I can agree with your take on Applejack, I don't necessarily agree with your perception of Twilight. She's trying to keep the group together, and understands that Applejack is not a threat. I won't spoil the story, but you can expect more on this uneasy relationship in the coming chapters.
well, that escalated quickly
2233688
Wow, were you reading my mind? That was my primary intention. Before I wrote this fic, I had in mind: "What kind of novels would Rarity read?"
2233885
I've thought of EmenaPie several times, there's that awesome psychological twincest/selfcest polarity in there. Although I haven't read any good ones yet, I look forward to reading some. Maybe in the far future I'll write one (I'm saving best pony Pinkie Pie for last for my tragic villain collection). As for my psychological description, I would very much appreciate your opinion in the matter. What made it confusing? Original? I honestly thought it was perfectly standard and normal. Thanks for your input again.
Surely living to my expectations
Nooooo, no, no, nooooooo! Rarity, damn you, you didn't fuck Shining, did you? You fucked AJ. You're supposed to love her. You got rejected and you'll never stand a chance with Shining, so just drop it asdfghjkl *curls up in feels*
poor Applejack, the rebound. and it's like she knows too, doesn't she?
....my god
I fucking love this story.
It's so... serious
There just aren't enough Rarity/Shining Armor fics out there.
Alright. I'm done for now. I read this chapter and thought 'this fic is gonna go somewhere I like pretty soon', but then I saw that this is only chapter 2.
Chapter 2 of 10.
This fic isn't gonna go anywhere I like any time soon, especially with that ending. This isn't anything against the author, this is a great fic, it's just that stories that involve someone being used as a substitute for someone else - Applejack as a substitute for Shining - make me sad. Thus, I shall take a break from this fic, and return to it later.
I might go read a RariJack ship. Yes.
-DemonicPeach-
So I just found this story, almost 3 years after it was first posted, and I'm pleasantly surprised so far.
Very few authors here even seem to have an idea of what a "tragedy" is (often they think it just means sad and/or sappy), let alone know how to write a compelling one, but even though I'm just 2 chapters in this definitely looks like one.
There are a couple of details that feel slightly off, but honestly that would just be nitpicking.
So fat my only regret is that I didn't realized this story existed sooner.
I propose this song as the seal of this story. It fits like a glove.
I struggled as they have no idea to find a story of this style. From the first time I saw Sweet and Elite I knew that seeing a Rarity with that personality would not be so far-fetched.
And ... you say you have a saga of this type of story? I better go take a look
6815320
Tell me, look at the date XD