• Member Since 25th Feb, 2013
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Blue Cultist


“The soul becomes dyed with the colour of its thoughts.” -Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

E

Pinkie's new to Ponyville, She's just been invited to work at Sugar Cube Corner and live with the Cakes while she gets to know the town. But on the way she meets a strange, blind creature with no fur, no cutie mark, and no place to live. Seeing her chance to make a friend, Pinkie quickly decides to help him, but how will this affect how the other ponies will see her with this strange blind thing? Possible Romance later.

Picture was made by my friend Escopeto. Also, not a fallen soldier story. The AU tag is because I'm setting this before Pinkie's arrived in Ponyville and things may turn out different for her, she may or may not even get Gummy.

Story is on hiatus until I get The Tale of Lord Barleycorn completed. Current chapters will be expanded.

Chapters (8)
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Comments ( 332 )

Not bad at all really. Very descriptive.

*insert wince here*
God, I always hated eye injury.

2314621

*insert wince here*
God, I always hated eye injury.

Remember to always wear eye protection when swinging a heavy bucket of boiling water on the pointy end of a pitchfork. :twilightsmile:

Lab

Finger injuries make me cringe more : / not big nasty ones either, just the small ones.

Comment posted by Jack Kellar deleted Sep 22nd, 2013

Pinkie Pie uses Hot Tea!

It's Super Effective!

I like it before, but this re-write seems pretty interesting.:pinkiehappy:

3246699 A day early my friend. Rewrite's started. =3

3247317 First it was a bucket of hot water in winter, then hot tea from a camp site.

Now he has it from the moment he entered Equestria.

So.....2 re-writes? Or 3?

Whatever, still seems mighty interesting, looking forward to more.

Oh come on, how many time will you change this story.

3305246 this is the one I'm keeping. =3

3250940 Two. Third time's the charm.

This is how my mind works. Just like yours.

Yay for schizophrenic productivity! I got tired of cranking out over 10 thousand words in three hours, and spending months in a block afterwards.

I believe you spelled Jonathan's nickname wrong. It should be Johnny, with an H before the N, but after the O.
Be sure to inform me if I'm wrong:twilightsmile::heart:

"'In the grim darkness of the far future, there is only war.'"

Maybe I'll read through it come bedtime."

Oh boy.

3355059 That's largely a matter of personal preference. I've seen the name written as "Jhonatan" on purpose.
Besides, "Jonny" is a cutdown of Jonathan so that it isn't mistaken for John.

ERRATA:

#1:

"His corneas, and I'm really not sure how, but have suffered trauma in such a way that they're roughly ninety percent scar tissue."

Axe the words in red. All they're doing is mess up the sentence's syntax.

#2:

"Where might you be from."

That period's supposed to be a question mark.

Other than that, as far as I can see, you're good :pinkiesmile:

I like this version a little more.

3355527 Then I apologize.
Thank for informing me:twilightsmile::heart:

3355571 Fixed. So glad everyone is enjoying the rewrite. :yay:

3355428

Huh, so Rarity's going to try reading some Warhammer 40K? Yeah, oh boy indeed. That's some potent nightmare fuel for peaceful ponies. It'll be nice to see John and his stuff get reunited. Even if his eyes are pretty much ruined, what about something like a magic solution, say a viewing crystal that pipes the image directly into his head? It won't be some overpowered magic eye spell that allows him to see in several wavelengths like Geordie's visor from ST:TNG but it should get the job done. Even a limited POV, black & white rather than color, is better than nothing at all. Another solution is to enhance his other senses. Go all DareDevil superhero with the bat-like sonic hearing and sensitive tactile touch.

I didn't even know there was a rewrite of this. I like it a little more than the original. Keep up the good work.:ajsmug::yay::rainbowdetermined2::twilightsmile::raritystarry::pinkiehappy:

"I live, at least until last night, on the outskirts of a city called Toledo, near Lake Eerie.

:twilightoops: I'm not sure I'd like to go there...

3393434 Fixed. One of those moments where the spell checker kept showing 'Erie' as spelled wrong and I second guessed myself. Then again, I should know better since my spell checker would fail 4th grade english.

"Well, I could use some a roommate." Pinkie said,
that "some"does not belong. :derpytongue2:

This popped up right after I finished reading another story.
Very good, I will be awaiting more

I came here thinking this was a Naruto crossover... since you have Sasuke as a cover photo. :ajbemused:

3400640 It was the best picture I could get of a blind person. :twilightsheepish:
EDIT: I changed the picture so there won't be any further mix ups.

Considering there's no canon on who Pinkie met first, Derpy is as good as any other pony to start with. As long as Twilight doesn't show up for awhile, you can pick and choose any other pony to interact with seeing as how Twilight doesn't appear in Ponyville until the start of Season 1. This might also mean that Celestia is too busy running Equestria and dealing with both the Sun and Moon.

3400676 You catch on quickly, and you're correct about Celestia. And thanks for sticking around through the rewrite. :twilightsmile:

3400647 That one actually works a lot better, especially with the gloom. Good choice.

I like the direction this fic is going in, and its premise. A blind man in Equestria, told through both his and pinkie's perspective is not one I've read yet.

Oh.... I'm just waiting for the reaction of when Rarity makes the connection of the mysterious items and the new ponyville resident. Wonder if she ''edited'' any of them yet?
And author.... it seems like you're pacing your story well. Keep up the good work.

3400705

I'd also like to say hands are human magic. We tamed (and partly destroyed) the Earth with them. And they make awesome back-scratchers. As an unscrupulous type at times, I'd use this very ability to, mmm, convince skittish ponies to help me rather than shun me. Tho it'd be a toss up who's the most frequent customer of back scratches, Pinkie or Lyra. It'd be especially funny if he got Rarity, the one pony in this town that would be simply aghast at flopping down and lolling one's tounge like a common animal, making such undignified sounds of contentment in that utterly debasing reaction, and the worst of all, enjoying it to the point of asking for more as if it were some illicit treat to be relished in private lest someone else see.

This fic holds alot of promise, i will keep my beady Eyes on it.

Yay! New chapter!

Good grief... Lovecraft? Are we trying to put nightmare fuel into the ponies and make Luna's job all the harder? Heh. Thankfully ponies are pretty innocent about that dark stuff so maybe the Dream Queen won't have too hard a time dealing with those kinda of nightmares when she finally does get pulled out of the moon and restored to her own calm sanity.

Rarity should love John tho. A creature that hails from a place where they all wear clothes, all the time, everywhere... for every occasion and even 'none'. And socks... socks! I know ponies don't have copyrights so Rarity can't corner the market on a new fashion craze but, come on. Socks!

p.s. Looking forward to the huge Welcoming Myself to Ponyville party Pinkie's gonna throw. Ponyville won't know what hit 'em.

Oh, I'm so excited for the next chapter:pinkiehappy::heart:.

JBL

Bout time we get things moving along. :rainbowdetermined2: Waiting to see what the interaction between him and Applejack. I can't imagine the 'Applejack sees strange creature and attacks it' shtick going well here. :twilightoops: Or what if Rainbow Dash crashes into him. :twilightoops::twilightoops: He wouldn't even see it coming! :rainbowlaugh:

oh dear... Rarity just ruined the clothing of poor Jonathan. Wonder how she'll react when he comes in and ask for the cloths to be made, and she realize that she just ruined some of the few belongings left of a recently blinded person. The very person who she hopes to borrow some of the books from.
Is this where Rarity really embraces generosity (because of the consequences of the problems she caused)?

Btw... please don't use the cliches 3600125 mentioned such as; AJ lassoing the ''varmint'', or RD crash-tackling the ''monster''.
I don't think they'll fit in this story.

JBL

3600180 That was kinda the point of my comment, in a roundabout sort of way. :rainbowlaugh:

3600196 It was more of a agreement with what you said, but yes, it was badly worded. I see that it can easily be misunderstood.

3600207 3600196
Trust me, I avoid cliches whenever possible.
I doubt either of you saw the first version of this story, but AJ was the pony who found Jonathan much like pinkie did, and felt more pity than that 'git goin' ya varmit' cliche. Dash was the second pony outside the apples to meet him, and she just floated over him and kept poking him in the head out of bored curiosity. Poor Jonathan thought Rainbow as a giant pony since her voice was coming from above him and she was touching him with her hoof. :rainbowlaugh:

Most stories on this site that I actually end up reading usually have a premise that draws me in, only for me to discontinue reading due to the author's shoddy writing. This story was the opposite. I didn't think much of the premise, but you kept the characters actually in-character rather than reducing them to their barest exaggerations which makes for a rather pleasant read.

Noticing a trend on this site where Pinkie in particular is reduced to a gag character whose only purpose is to break the forth wall and contribute little to the story. Nice to see someone who realizes Pinkie Pie is an actual character, rather than a gimmick. :pinkiehappy:

3600274 Dammit! I REMEMBER THAT!
Some time ago I wondered where that story went.... Now I see what happened to it!:facehoof:
Wasn't that one set in the winter season? And nearly suffering from frostbite?

3600279
That was the challenge. I noticed that Pinkie gets very little love on this site, and I really wanted to read a good story that involved her. Finding none, I chose to write the very story I wanted to read. :pinkiehappy:

3600290
Bingo. This is actually the exact situation I wanted to happen after Twilight met him, Jonny living with Pinkie I mean. The problem was I couldn't see a reason to get him there. The more I thought about trying to get that story to revolve around Pinkie, the more I wanted to redo everything. And yeah, jonny had severe frostbite in that too. It seemed overkill to me, so I axed that. The dude's got to overcome being blind and that's enough for anyone. :applejackunsure:

3600331 I just wondering one thing.... how long would you say it is till that fateful summer-sun celebration?
And one more thing. please don't introduce a ''sight-fold'' (the magical opposite of a ''blind''-fold) to him. I also think you should keep his blindness permanent and realistic, AKA no full-blown ''daredevil'' shtick.

Ps: Yes, I agree. That frostbite was a little over the top when I think about it.

3600384 Ugh, please. If I could magically take his blindness away we wouldn't have a story. I have a reason for it, but I can't go into it here because SPOILERS. And I don't really like HiE stories that suddenly introduce super powers, so he's not going to be immune to magic or, like you said, have super sensory powers. As far as I'm concerned, introducing that would completely ruin this story.

3600408 Then I'll leave it in your capable hands, my friend. I shall await thy unveiling of the plot as it comes by, at it's own timely presence.

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