With Project Purity destroyed, his father dead, and his old home shut off from the rest of the Wasteland, the only good memory of his past that William Madison can hang on to is the lullaby his father sang for him, and him alone. When he finds himself in Equestria, he would've taken it in stride, but it changes when he hears that same lullaby - HIS lullaby - in this strange world. Confused, William must find the connection between the lullaby and his life.
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Interesting. I don't think I've ever seen any MLP/Fallout crossover that wasn't Fallout: Equestria. Writting style is good, no outstanding spelling errors that caught my eyes. I only hope that later chapters will be longer. As of now I'm keeping an eye of this story with a track and a few stars.
Have a good day.
I wanna see the look on his face when he hears "Hush Now".
170908
Speaking of which, why isn't Fluttershy tagged in this story? Hush Now, Quiet Now was her song, was it not?
Nice Prologue, I'll enjoy reading the next chapter
170920
Well, I'm assuming that the lullaby is widely known across Equestria, sort of like how Rock-a-Bye-Baby is known throughout the world here. After all, Sweetie Bell recognized the song before Fluttershy got past the first few lines.
Besides, I'm still working on the rest of the plotline and what's going to happen along the way.
170935
I can buy that.
Also, I don't reccomend writting as you describe you are. If I may be so bold, you should start out with how the story ends, then how it begins, then fill in the gaps as you go. That's how I've been writting and so far the reception to my fic, Jericho, has been beyond my wildest dreams great. You're free to add plot twists and worldbuild and new plot elements as you go, just try to write towards a specific end. Just look at Kkat, I don't mean to compare apples to oranges but you are crossing over the same univeres to a degree, the very prologue hinted at what Littlepip realized at the very end. You don't want your story to be written like Lost where the writter is guessing about as much as the viewer/reader.
But regardless this is pretty high in caliber. Keep up the work, jsut try to keep these chapters longer. My general rule is about 5k words per chapter, as that's EqD standards. But whatever works for you is fine. Just remeber; as long as I'm tracking your story I'm going to mercilessly critque you so that you can contineu to put out good work. If you don't see my comments, usually the means that your story is doing fine.
Cheers, mate!
171047
Alright. Thanks for the advice, Crush. I'm always willing to take constructive criticism.
this makes me want to play fallout 3 all over again
tracking
Hey, I wanted to write a story like this! Curse you for beating me to it!
Anyhow, not enough to go by yet; though the writing is solid so I'll track this to see where it goes.
good..... now where is more?
What's LW wearing? By this point I had a full suit of power armor courtesy of the Brotherhood.
223683 I just figured he'd still be wearing his vault jumpsuit in this. After all, in the prologue, I did say that his vomit seeped through his shirt, and last I checked, metal isn't an absorbent substance. Just letting you know that.
Hooray! I helped. No outstanding spelling errors so yea, this is coming out fairly well. I look foward to future installments.
wtf is he doing in pinkies room.
Random Outcomes?
225321 Well, I originally planned for him to appear in Canterlot Castle, but a few flaws came to mind. 1.) The guards would probably throw him in the dungeon out of paranoia. 2.) Celestia, as benevolent as she is, probably wouldn't be too eager to help out a species from another universe. 3.) Also, the storyline I have set up would be impractical then if that were the case. 4.) In the few HiE stories I've read, the human usually wakes up in the Everfree Forest, or somewhere away from Ponyville, so I thought I'd go for a change of pace.
I NEED MOAR...that is...if you want to....Eep!
Actually, if you do more of this, I'd REALLY like this story, alot.
So, please continue
263228 Thanks for that. Rest assured, the whole story won't revolve completely around William's attempt to fit in, though that will be a major factor in the beginning of the story. I'll try to put in some interactions with other ponies as well besides the Mane 6.
As Twilight and Pinkie both disappeared up the stairs, Pound and Pumpkin Cake reached their tiny little hooves out, almost beckoning for their babysitter.
“Pinkie.”
“Pie.”
Oh god... There goes my diabetes again
The amount of HHHHHNNNNNNNNNG that I am feeling right now can not be expressed.
Still waiting on that chapter you lost... Dying of curiosity too.
*Strokes 'stache*
Eeeeeexcellent.
Keep it up, bro!
YES! An update! Woo!
Great, if a bit touching chapter (Especially liked that part with the recording), keep up the amazing work!
Dam right ill wait for the next chapter.
Twilight was confused by some of the creature's round wounds. Those are bullet wounds, and they have bullets in Equestria. Rainbow Dash mentioned them in May the Best Pet Win.
Wow, it actually updated! I'm so happy!
This is going slow, but steady. I like how you're taking your time with it. Nothing to criticize so far.
And on a personal level, I thought William would wake up to Fluttershy opr Sweetie Belle singing "his" lullaby when around him. Oh well, one miss for me.
462887 Yeah, well, I didn't want William to wake up and suddenly have a mental breakdown. Waking up in a peaceful ,pony-filled world after spending a few weeks in a post-apocalyptic wasteland is more than enough whiplash for anyone. Rest assured, that will show up soon, though not in the next chapter.
462883 Really? I just thought that bullet was only an expression when used in the show, considering that I have yet to see an actual gun in the show. Snide remarks aside, seriously, I just assumed that the word bullet was only some sort of expression.
462911 As far as we know, bullet is a figure of speech. Possibly derived from slingshot bullets, I think.
27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lz0f657gu31qhvtgno1_400.jpg
DAMMNIT!!! Why isn't he wearing power armor!?
Finaly...wouldn't he say n-nuka cola? If you ever know never drink water unless it's pure and even he should know that even this was done after Project Puritythe water is still dangures thow he is in a place not familiar to the wasteland he should still be on his guard and know what he learned in the wasteland
?No?
464940 That will be explained in the next chapter. Let's just put it this way, though; how coherent would you be if you were just coming out of a coma?
464940 I'd risk the guess that it's because William grew up in a Vault, where there was clean water readily available. In that case, it'd have wormed its way into his subconscious before Nuka-Cola, which I'm not sure even exists inside a closed Vault like the 101 before he leaves.
Cant wait for next chapter!!!
“Not yet, Spike. We still need to repeat the process until the gel.
Might want to finish that sentence...
471262 Thanks for catching that. I swear, I never notice typos until after it gets published.
i say
CONTINUE THIS
740340 I'M TRYING!
740506 I must have moar fallout/fim crossovers!!!!!!!
and I'm listening to Enclave radio lololo
MORE!
BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAA!And welcome back.
I really enjoyed this, can't wait to read more.
EEEEEnteresting....
From the sound of things, it looks like your boi pretty much rushed the main questline and didn't do many sidequests. Guess that works though, as less time in the wastes would mean that he would be less jaded, and hence less whiney and easier to get along with.
Was his clothing destroyed when Project Purity went kablooey, or was his stuff just removed?
Also, what was with the random scene of Applejack sneezing? Did your boi's smellyness manage to carry that far in the wind or something?
820768 Well, yes, he did rush through the main storyline, though I'm going to think about what side quests he did and which other places he may have visited, although Arefu is a definite choice as is the defusing of the main bomb
As for his missing clothes, yes the majority of his jumpsuit was burned away and the rest was in tatters, so I figured that they's see the clothes as simply rags.
As for Applejack sneezing, Applejack is the only pony we know of that actually has a dog, so William saying that ponies owning dogs was him unknowingly sticking his foot in his mouth.
And I'm glad you liked this. I'm really enjoying your fic as well.
821376 Ah, quit strokin' my ego.
Seriously though, thanks for that!
very interesting
do go on with this
Oh something else.
I noticed in your previous chapters that thoughts tended to be in italics, while in this chapter, they are not, you might want to do the same for flashbacks as well. Might want to change that just be be consistant.
With Broken Steel, 9 Intelligence (optimized to 10 by making a break for the bobble head before leveling up once), and a very optimized (Almost Perfect before taking any SPECIAL bobbles other than Intelligence, getting the full effect from every skill bobble by not raising any skill above 90 without getting the bobble first, and taking every Perk that gives a boost to skills.) you can get 100 in all skills, and 10 in every SPECIAL stat. Just a fun fact.