Princess Luna and The Elements of Harmony

by Trickquestion

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

With her order of Knights now assembled, Princess Luna led her posse out of the woods to the base of a mountin with a massive castle built into its side; A marvelous piece of magical engineering.

"Canterlot!" Exclaimed a wowed Twilight Sparkle.

"Canterlot!" Echoed Rainbow Dash.

"hmermmlot." Muttered Fluttershy incoherently, unable to overcome her shyness.

"It's only a model." Spike added on, earning a shush from the others.

"LOOK WELL UPON YOUR NEW HOME, NOBLE KNIGHTS!" Luna declared. "WE RIDE TO CANTERLOT!"

Just as the Moon Princess finished her sentence, a catchy tune began in the backround.

"We're Knights of the Round Table!" Began a chorus of knights inside the castle. "We dance whene'er we're able!"

"We do routines and chorus scenes with hoofwork impleecable!"

A bunch of royal guards in their heavy gold armor were dancing on a table. "We dine well here in Canterlot, we eat wheat and sweets and hay a lot!" Caught up in their merriment, one guard kicked Jet Set in the head with loose hoof. The dancing and instrument music continued unabated as the rich pony bled on the floor.

"We're Knights of the Round Table! Our shows, are for, mid-able! But many times, we're given rhymes, that are quite un-sing-able! We're opera mad in Canterlot, We sing from the diaphram a lot!"

The royal guards continued to dance about to the catchy tune. Even down in the castle dungeon, a mangy, disheveled Gilda the Griffin was clapping her claws to the tune from her position chained to the wall.

Back in the upper levels, gray, black maned court member with a bow tie had begun drumming on the royal guards gold helmets. After beating out a few notes, the drummer bashed the wooden spoon she was using into the skull of the passing Uppercrust, sending the musical number's second pony with a bashed up head to the floor.

"In war we're tough and able! Quite indefatigable! Between our quests we sequin vests and impersonate Clop Gable! It's a busy life in Canterlot..."

A small, sweet looking unicorn filly with a light purple coat and blond mane then took center stage. In the deepest voice imaginable, Dinky Hooves belted out the last words to the song.

"I must push the pram-a-LOT!"

The dancing and instrument playing continued until it to ended with a flourish, and the camera returns to Luna and company.

"On second though, let us not go to Canterlot." Luna declared with a sigh. "Tis a silly place." There was a mutter of agreement, and the group rode on.

After a few minutes of riding, however, the clouds inexplicably parted, and a heavenly voice wafted down from the heavens.

"Luna? Luna? Oh, there you are Luna. Is my little sister having fun with her new friends?" It was Princess Celestia, peering down at the group from a hole in the clouds.

"What do you want, Tia?" Luna asked, narrowing her eyes at her sometimes annoying sister.

"Luna, listen. I need you to run a little errand for me." Celestia explained. "I need you and your friends to run out and grab The Elements of Harmony for me, alright?"

"The Elements of Harmony? The mystical objects of supreme power, lost ever since we harnessed them to defeat Discord, which remain unfound despite the efforts of many slain knights?" Celestia nodded. "Tia, my noble knights and I..." Luna began while gesturing towards her knights,only to stop when she saw them burying their faces in the dirt. "What arst though doing?"

"We're averting our eyes, your majesty." Twilight replied, aiming her words at Celestia. The elder princess rolled her eyes, but the Luna just seemed insulted.

"THOU HAST FAILED TO AVERT THEIR EYES BEFORST ME!" Luna cried indignantly.

"You really don't need to do that." Celestia stated offhoof, and everypony sprang to their feet. "So you'll find the Elements for me, right?"

Looking cross, Luna responded "And if we don't?"

"Then I'll have to distract myself by ordering 'The Ballad of Ghost Nappa' preformed every day for my amusement. You like that play, don't you sis?" Celestis asked with a wink.

Luna was silent for a moment, them exhaled slowly. "We'll be back in a month. Take over the moon for me." She said with resignation.

"Can you believe it? A quest from the Princess herself!" Exclaimed Twilight, and everypony (save Pip, who continued to stand at Luna's side, and was the only one not groveling before the sun goddess.) The one person not falling under everyPONY, Sir Spike, approached Luna.

"Your highness, I can't help but feel we just got trolled."

"Yes, Sir Spike. Yes we did."

And so it was that Luna and her knights set out to find the Elements of Harmony. They rode aimlessly for many days, searching for a sign that would lead them to their objectives. Their first encounter worth noting came after a hard days ride...

Princess Luna and her knights stood before a castle wall. After calling out a few times, Luna saw a gray Pegasus with wonky eyes appear on the rampart "Hello?" she asked, seemingly not able to see them. Only after cocking her head sideways did she notice the protagonists. "Oh hey there! Who are you?"

"WE ARE LUNA, YOUR PRINCESS! WHO RESIDES IN THIS CASTLE?" Luna asked.

Derpy scratched her head. "Uh, I'm not sure. I guess that would be Lord Muffin, I suppose." The knights looked at each other in bafflement.

"Um...yes, well, INFORM THIS LORD MUFFIN THAT WE ARE SEARCHING FOR THE ELEMENTS OF HARMONY! IF WE ARE GIVEN FOOD AND SHELTER FOR THE NIGHT, YOUR LORD MAY JOIN OUR QUEST! Luna replied after a moment.

"Well, I'll tell Lord Muffin, but I don't think he'll be to interested." Derpy continued. "You see, he's already got one."

"Wait, what?" asked Rainbow Dash.

"She says they've already got one." Poked in Scootaloo, joy filling the filly as she got a chance to talk.

"ARST THOUH SURE?" Luna asked for good measure.

"Oh yes, it's nice and shiny and stuff." Derpy confirmed.

"Look, I'm starting to doubt this 'Lord Muffin' even exists!" Shouted out Rainbow Dash. Derpy gasped, then became very cross.

"Are you denying the power of our holy Lord Muffin?" Derpy asked while ducking beneath the walls. When she re-emerged, paper bags were on her head and hooves. "Cause if you are, then it. Is. ON!"

"IST THOUGH THREATENING A ROYAL SISTER?" Luna demanded.

"I'm not scared of you, you silly Princess you!" Derpy replied. "You silly filly you! I clean my muffin tray at you, child of a smelly sock!" The mare then stuck her tongue out and blew raspberries at the group.

"Is there someone else we can talk to up there?" Asked Spike.

"No, you spiny lukewarm salamander muffin!" Replied Derpy. "Now away with you, you muffin-less band of llama fur, lest I taunt you again!"

"THIS IS THOU'S LAST CHANCE! WE HAFT BEEN MORE THEN RESONABLE, BUT IF THOU DOST NOT AGREE TO OUR TERMS..." Luna began ranting, but was cut short when a cow was flung over the walls, crushing Scootaloo.

"CHARGE!" Cried Luna, and her knights joined her in attacking the castle, only to be bombarded with more animals. Sir Fluttershy instantly lost interest in the battle and began to help the animals, while the others were driven to retreat after a few minutes.

After reaching a ditch at a relatively safe distance, Sir Rainbow Dash instantly exclaimed she'd buck them up, but Sir Twilight Sparkle claimed she had a better idea...

A few hours later, a giant wooden muffin rolled up to the castle gates by Pip and Scootaloo, the latter still covered in bandages from being crushed by a cow. Just down the way, Luna and the other knights lay in wait.

"So how doth this plan work again, Sir Sparkle?" Luna asked, forgoing the Royal Canterlot Voice in favor of stealth.

"Well, once they have taken the muffin, which they already have by the look of things, you, I, Sir Spike and Sir Dash will wait until night, when we will take the enemy completely off guard, scoring a swift victory." Twilight stated confidently.

"Who will surprise them?" Luna asked again.

"You, me, Spike and Rainbow." Twilight repeated, only to facehoof when she realized everypony was in the ditch still. "I knew I should have used a list. Well, what if we get a big, wooden cupcake..."

Any further suggestions were cut off when the giant muffin was fired back at the knights, forcing everypony to scatter, retreating as Derpy praised Lord Muffin for granting her this victory. Also, Scootaloo was crushed once more.

The scene now shifts to a forest, where a man with curly black hair (identified in subtitles as A Famous Cartoonist) is explaining what happened next. "Defeat at the castle disheartened Luna, who was taken by surprise by the ferocity of Derpy's taunting. She became convinced a new strategy was needed, and, after much debate, decided her knights should separate and search for the Elements individually. And this is what they did..."

Suddenly a loud voice split the air. "And you can tell everyone what happened ON THE MOOOOON!" In a flash of light, Craig McCracken was gone, the earth where he once stood moderately burnt.

His wife, Lauren Faust, rushed into the clearing to see what had become of her husband. When no trace could be found, she pulled out her cellphone and called 911.

To be continued...

A/N: So, I think I've made it clear by now this FanFic runs on the suffering of its cast. But no worries you guys, only the characters I dislike actually get killed. Everyone else is fine next scene. Speaking of killed off ponies, I've got two head trauma victims I need to carve up for organs.

P.S. Yes, 'The Ballad of Ghost Nappa' is a reference to Dragonball Z Abridged. I decided to cross this fic over after reading As Presented By Ponies take on Dragonball. I hope you found that funny, and if you didn't, you'll have to take it up with Craig McCracken... ON THE MOOOOOON! And say hi to the credits people while you're up there. Oh, wait, they're statues. You think you could polish them a little? Pretty please?

Comments

[Brony Z-Ro]

And then there was awesome.

[SatoshiKyu]

"It's only a model." Spike added on, earning a shush from the others.

I thought Spike was taking the place of Sir Galahad in this one? This line originally comes from Arthur's servant Patsy, who is played here by Pip.

If you're just changing it up, that's fine, I just wanted to make sure it wasn't a mistake.

[Hairy Konquerer]

.please don't end it like the original movie. I thought that's what made it kinda lame. The anticlimactic ending.