It's just another normal day in Ponyville. Pinkie's tending to Sweet Apple Acres, and Rarity's got the weather under control. Fluttershy's anxiously planning for a big bash the next day, while Applejack works her latest fashion line for Hoity Toity. And Rainbow Dash is preparing to shelter several critters from the Everfree Forest from a rampaging cockatrice.
Absolutely nothing can go wrong.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Brilliant.
This is why I decided to follow you. You can really capture the feel of the show. I would encourage you to expand on this, if I wasn't against telling other writers what to do.
I can't say I have any suggestions for you beyond corrections in grammar:
I do this with everypony. If it's annoying, tell me and I'll stop. (For you, that is. I'll still do it to everypony else.
)
And the package is a note saying 'whatever you do, do NOT, I repeat do NOT, under any circumstances, CAST THIS SPELL until you are SURE that it's working correctly, Twilight."
But oh, your style is engaging and entertaining, and you have excellent characterization. Lovely job!
2173926 I've absolutely no problem with nitpicking (which have been corrected, thank you!). My past stories - longer affairs - generally I do send through the ponychan route, but they're also a lot longer and planned for the start to go to EQD with higher standards. Here, I had this idea, knew it would be short, and thus wrote it most of last night and proofread this morning, so there may be more little things like that.
When I envisioned this, I couldn't see it diverging too far from the events of the "present" of MMC , the extrapolation wasn't there. You have a lot of fans that are nitpicking how the heck the cutie marks/destiny/work function thing is all to work, and that's why the desire to make MMC a two-parter is there. I'm also not sure how much the fandom liked the swapped ponies in their various roles, so presently it doesn't make sense to delve deeper into them. That said, if this gets good response, I've got a few ideas (including some realizations of how the swapped ponies would have gotten their cutie marks - yes, Rarity's story would need to be dozy but I think I got one down). (And as a side, while thinking on your comment, I totally realized that MMC pulled a Fringe season 4 plot twist, and as one of my favorite series, there's some potential inspiration from that).
2175253 You're welcome then.
The episode honestly feels more real after reading this. There was to much singing for it to make a proper impact on me.
2176962 I felt MMC did exceptionally well for being forced into a 22 minute format with songs and writing and the like to not waste a minute when they had, easily, two episodes worth of content to present. However, it took me several viewings to see that - had to get over that "So rushed" feeling most had with it. But that said, as you can likely tell by this, my draw to MLP is the world-building, and that had to be completely foregone - beyond the tiniest hints - to make the episode work. Hence why I wrote this and why I continue to think how to extend it more.
Note I've made one small change in the narrative (the relationship between Pinkie and Apple Bloom) as I'm already working on expansion but given this fan comic from Ginger Mint:
comic
I see a very easy way to keep this story perfectly in line with that and expand later with that small chance. Doesn't impact the rest of the story.
This is really amazing. You capture the comraderie everypony has even when they're not doing what they're meant to do, and the way they sort of are helping each other out even before their Moments of Despair in MMC. And the delivery pony is a great way to tie it all together; his constant presence seems really foreboding. Everyone sounds very much like themselves, too. Really well done.
sequel?
i wanna know what is in the package!!
A nice little peek into the other adventures of the Mane 6 during MMC. (I really love these kinds of stories too much.)
I personally would like to see a sequel but that's all up to you.
Interesting, the spell WAS incomplete you can tell from how quickly they crashed and burned at their new fates, rather than being able to find their own niche.
I suggest you check out this beauty. https://www.fimfiction.net/story/110132/memories-we-never-had
I suggest you check out this beauty. https://www.fimfiction.net/story/110132/memories-we-never-had
I know this is plugging. http://www.fimfiction.net/story/181320/magical-mystery-cure-whats-wrong-with-the-world But you and others inspired me to write my own version and take on events, you inspired me along with others, so I thought I'd share this with you.