Old Friends

by 10000 B_C

New Friends and Old Ones

Mr. Cake sighed contentedly as he flipped through Ponies magazine and sat behind the counter. These were his favorite days of the year- not too hot, not too cold, and everypony was on vacation. And this day was extra special- it was only his second away from the twins since their birth. His wife was taking them to see their grandparents in Trottingham, so he took over the register from Pinkie and grabbed a little something to read.

Most male ponies didn’t read Ponies magazine, since it usually only covered the famous ponies you’d never meet in a thousand years and was filled with tips on how to keep your coltfriend on a short leash. Mr. Cake secretly enjoyed following the famous ponies through their lives, but he hadn’t been able to pick up a copy since the twins. His life seemed to revolve around those little foals. Even if they just ate, burped, and popped up on the other side of the room without him realizing, they were his foals, and cute to boot.

So Mr. Cake was understandably flustered when two ponies walked through the glass doors, setting off the bell. He quickly picked up the magazine with his teeth and threw it behind a stack of muffin trays. After making sure he was safe, he looked up to see the new customers looking at him, or at least one was.

“Hey, Carrot. How are things?” asked Dr. Whooves, longtime friend of the Cakes.

“Just fine, Doc, just fine. Who’s this?” asked Mr. Cake, pointing a hoof at the yellow maned mare next to him.

“This is Derpy. Derpy Hooves,” he said, smiling slightly. Carrot thought for a second, back to his high school days, when Doc made that face around that filly with the blue hair. He smiled broadly.

“Nice to meet you!” he said, extending a hoof to the pegasus, who was currently facing away from the counter.

“Wow, I haven’t been here in forever! There’s so much more food!” she said, one eye locked on the muffins under the glass. The other looked at Mr. Cake. “Did you make these?”

Mr. Cake didn’t respond for a second, taking in the fact that this was the third or so pony he had met with eyes like this. He would have to ask her if she knew a certain Ruby Stone, or maybe Ember… he snapped back to the conversation, shaking off the memories of his friends from years past.

“Well, to be honest, no. Me and my wife handle the cakes, cup form or regular sized. Pinkie made those masterpieces,” said Carrot, shifting his eyes to the numerous delicacies under the display case. “In fact, she makes too many sometimes, and I end up giving them out for free.”

At this, Derpy nearly fainted. “I know Pinkie! She threw me a party that one time! Or more like three or four… maybe five times. And there was that time when I came here last year...” she stopped, turning slightly green at the memory.

“Oh, that was a onetime slip up, and it wasn’t even Pinkie! I won’t mention who, but I know it hurt business for a while… but these are the best baked goods in town!”

“I guess I just kinda stayed away after that. Sorry. And thanks, Whoovsy, for bringing me back. Why didn’t you do it sooner, though? You know I love muffins,” pouted Derpy, staring at the Doctor. A slight blush of embarrassment showed up on his face at the nickname.

“Well, Derpy, you live all the way on the other side of town, and I only just met you last month when you stopped by my office, “he answered, and, in a lower voice, “ and I thought I told you not to call me that around other ponies, Derpy.”

“But it’s so funny to see you get embarrassed! Plus it’s way too official to call you Doctor or Mister, Whoovsy!” retorted Derpy, smiling.

The doctor sighed, eventually relenting and cracking a smile in Derpy’s direction. Mr. Cake had watched the whole conversation unfold, and was struggling to contain a laugh.

“So what can I get you today,” asked Carrot, about to burst into giggles, “Whoovsy?”

Dr. Whooves glared as Carrot fell over from laughter, knocking into the stack of muffin trays. He continued glaring as he got up, and didn’t stop until Derpy poked him in the side.

“Why was he laughing, Whoovsy? And why are you angry?” she asked, innocently.

“It’s… it’s nothing, Derpy. He’s just an old friend,” answered the doctor, his glare softening. “An old friend who knows how to hit the right buttons,” he added, looking down.

“What buttons? I didn’t know you came with buttons!”

“Never mind, Derpy. Just, can we just get a tray of muffins and a booth, please?” sighed the Doctor.

“You got it, Whoovsy!” said Mr. Cake, merrily. “I mean, Doc! That’s what I said, of course.”
It took all of Derpy’s strength to keep the doctor from flying over the counter and tackling Carrot right there, but he calmed down. He leaned over the counter only after reassuring both Derpy and Carrot his hooves were behind his back.

“I was actually planning on something, Carrot, but I’m not really in the right mindset to be doing that now, am I?” He whispered, angrily. His eyes wandered to where Derpy floated, one eye checking to see if they were fighting yet, and the other constantly on the muffins.

“What were you going to do? Ask that pretty mare out?”

“What? How did you- I mean, I- I wouldn’t-“he stuttered, then sighed. “Yes. That is what I came to do- I must’ve forgotten what you were like. I thought maybe a married life would make you a more mature stallion, but I guess I was wrong there-“

“Hey! I am more mature, thank you very much! I just really like messing with you, Whoo- Doc. See? I can stop any time I want.”

“I hate you.”

“It’s okay, Doc. Let it all out. Uncle Carrot can keep a secret.” He said, patting Doctor Whooves on the head. “And, it won’t be a secret for long! Just ask her! I mean, she seems to like you well enough! And that is what you were planning, right?” he added, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes! I am a stallion, if you must know. I can do it!” he said, his voice intending to sound confident but coming out as more defensive than anything.

“You keep telling yourself that, Doc,” Carrot said, wistfully, as he leaned back from hitting range.

“Why you little-“he said, swiping with a hoof, but Carrot had indeed anticipated it. Derpy flew over, prepared to stop the doctor from trying to leap over the counter again. However, Doc put his hoof back on the floor of the bakery, turning towards to pegasus as he did so.

“It’s quite alright, Derpy. I would never seriously injure Carrot. Maybe a little bit, but he was always faster. Let’s sit, shall we?” he asked, gesturing towards the booth closest to the window. Derpy flew over, knocking over a small table or two on the way, but mostly fine nonetheless. The doctor, having reached the booth first, watched Derpy extricate herself from a nasty four legged chair with some amusement, and something else- something that caused his cheeks to quietly turn a shade of red and his smile to turn a bit goofier.

He was still smiling when Derpy sat down opposite him, looking at him with one eye while the other glared at the chair.

“Whoovsy?” Derpy piped up, prodding the stallion in the face. “Oh! Sorry, I was aiming for your shoulder… sorry.”

“It’s quite alright, Derpy…” murmured Dr. Whooves, seemingly somewhere else. “I’ll recover.”

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Mr. Cake pulled some muffins from the baskets in the back, choosing three chocolate and three blueberry. He grabbed an extra chocolate one for himself, placing the tray on his back. On his way to the front counter, he noticed that his collision with the stack of muffin trays had uncovered his Ponies magazine. If Dr. Whooves ever found out about that, he would never hear the end of it. Never.

He pulled the magazine out with a hoof and slid it under a nearby oven, thankful he hadn’t turned them on that day. He checked the tray on his back before returning to the front of the bakery, just in time to see Derpy poke Doc in the eye.
Carrot’s left eyebrow raised in surprise, especially when he saw Doc wave it off like nothing. He definitely had a thing for that pony, and he wasn’t walking out of this bakery until the Carrot had had his say.

He sidled over to the booth, dropping the tray onto the gray table and nudging it towards the center. He looked at Doc, with what he hoped was a fear- inspiring look.

“Do it.” He commanded.

“What? You can’t just expect me to-“

“I can and do.” Replied Carrot, sincerely.

“Well, I have to wait for the right time is all-“

“The right timing for what?” asked Derpy, curiously.

“Nothing Derpy, nothing,” answered Doc.

“It’s something,” retorted Carrot.

“Go. Away.” He glowered. “Now.”

“Ok, ok, sheesh. Some ponies,” Carrot sighed, defeated. He turned to move away, but not before winking at Doc. The Doc just shook his head nervously. Carrot sighed and walked over to get the mop, and started mopping a non-existent stain conspicuously close to the only occupied table.

“Did I miss something here? I used to do that when I was younger but I thought I had gotten better…” she asked Doc, sadness creeping into her voice.

“No, it’s just… How do I do this? Um, okay, so Derpy,” started Doc, nervously.

“Yeah?” she said, eyeing the muffins, her sadness forgotten when she noticed the delicious bits of baked heaven.

“I… well, you see, the thing is… I kind of… like…”

“Muffins?”

“Yes! I mean, wait, no…”

“You don’t like muffins? How could you! I thought-“

“Derpy, I love muffins as much as the next pony. What I was trying to say is that I like…” he gulped, nervously. “You.”

“Well, we are friends, Whoovsy.” Stated Derpy, obliviously.

“I… give up.” He finished, slumping onto the table.

“He means he’d like to take you out on a date, Derpy.”

“What?” said Derpy, confused.

“You know, dinner and a movie? That sort of thing?” replied Mr. Cake, mop forgotten against one of the tables. “It was sort of obvious even when he first walked in. I mean, he told me himself!”

Derpy turned to Doc, who was currently sitting with his head in his fore hooves, whispering “This can’t be happening” over and over again. One of her eyes turned back to Carrot, but the other rested on Doc.

“Is that… true?” She seemingly asked both of them, since neither eye had superiority.

“Yes, “they replied simultaneously, albeit one much sadder than the other.

“So why are you sad, Whoovsy?” questioned Derpy, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, I mean, I’ve known you for this time and I think I’ve liked you every second of it… I’ve been keeping it from you Derpy, and that makes me a terrible friend. And then, tight here, I didn’t even have the courage to tell you my feelings- Carrot had to do it.” He explained, quickly, eyes flicking towards the yellow stallion before returning to Derpy. “Yeah, I’m just a coward. Thanks for making that abundantly clear, Carrot. I’m sure you won’t want to be seeing me anymore, Derpy, so I’ll just be on my way-“he stated, moving to get up from his booth seat.

“Wait, Whoovsy! I don’t hate you! In fact, I… kinda like you too! I mean, I’ve never had anypony really like me before. Hmm, I wonder what it’s like…” Derpy wondered aloud.

“So wait… is that a yes, then?” asked Doc, amazed.

“Eeyep! Teehee! I heard Big Mac say that!” exclaimed Derpy, flapping her wings excitedly.

“It’s eeyup, Derpy… and thank you,” said Doc, sitting back in his booth.

Mr. Cake smiled. His job was done, for now. Now, all Doc had to do was not screw it up. If only Doc could have Carrot around him 24/7 to offer advice on how to handle the relationship… he smiled evilly. Maybe he would get some lessons from Pinkie Pie on popping up where you least expected him. He looked up from his thoughts to see Derpy and Doc getting up, looking at each other- or one eye of Derpy was. The other was- was that other eye on his flank?

Carrot turned a little red, but he shook his head as they approached.

“C’mon back, now, Doc. And you too, Derpy. Glad to meet you,” he said.

“You too, Carrot! Err, sorry, Mr. Cake,” responded Derpy, looking down yet again.

“It’s okay, Derpy. You can call me Carrot- I wish more people did,” he said. “Why, even Pinkie calls me Mr. Cake, and she lives upstairs!” He added.

“I’ll see you later Carrot- and thanks for everything,” Doc said, graciously. “How much do I owe you for the muffins?”

“It’s on the house, Doc. I’d say it was worth it to see you two get together!” exclaimed Carrot.
Both ponies blushed slightly, then looked back at Carrot.

“Bye for now, Carrot,” Doc stated.

“Yeah! Bye!” Derpy called out, flapping her wings and doing a roundabout towards the door. “Last one to your office is a- a… a burnt muffin! Yeah!”

“Oh, you’re on, Derpy! Go!” shouted Doc, looking happier than Carrot had seen him in while- though, he hadn’t really seen him in a while, either. Carrot smiled as Doc rushed put the door, hot on the hooves of Derpy, who was surprisingly fast. He thought he saw Doc whooping it up as he rounded the corner, but he must’ve been seeing things- Doc was way to serious, not to mention refined for that sort of thing.

He trotted behind the counter, heading for the ovens to retrieve his magazine. Any more ponies wanted his help, they’d have to come to him. He had just bent over to retrieve the magazine when he heard the bell ring above the door.

He sighed. Couldn’t he get a moment of peace? He nudged the magazine under the oven again, and slowly got up. He turned his head and nearly had a heart attack- Pinkie was right there behind him.

“Hey Mr. Cake! How’re you doing? What was that magazine? Was that Ponies mag? I thought only mares were supposed to-“ Pinkie’s rant was cut short by the hoof of Mr. Cake.

“I’m fine, Pinkie. And… yeah, that was Ponies. Can’t I just enjoy it for what it’s worth, Pinkie?”

“Of course, Mr. Cake! I don’t think of you any less! In fact, I heard that Big Macintosh still likes to play with little dolls! He calls 'em action figures of course, but still!"

“Oh, really?” he murmured, making a note in his head to blackmail Big Mac for all it was worth. It would be sweet payback for when Big Mac threatened to tell everypony he knew that Carrot liked Ponies mag.

“Eeyup! And did I tell you who I saw outside?”

“No, I don’t thi-“

“Doctor Whooves and Derpy! They were going, like, sooo fast! And then Derpy hit a tree and Doctor Whooves helped her up, and then- and then- and then they smooched! Right in the middle of the street! Eee!” Pinkie finished, squealing in delight and hopping up and down in the back room.

Mr. Cake wondered who started that smooch- probably Derpy, given the way she was looking at Doc’s flank earlier. He smiled, recognizing that it was his work- maybe he should quit being a baker and just be a matchmaker? One thing bothered him, though.

“You know Derpy? I haven’t met her before, and she’s apparently been to the bakery before,” Mr. Cake explained.

“Well, duh! I mean, I know everypony, and I mean everypony, in Ponyville! She moved here a year ago, and she was pretty freaked out when I threw her a party that first day!” Pinkie said, wondering a bit.

“Most ponies are, Pinkie,” stated Mr. Cake.

“I know! That’s what makes it so fun! “She explained, happily.

“Well, I’m glad you’re back from- where was it again? The library? I’ll admit, not where I’d normally think you’d go, but hey,” he said, shrugging. Pinkie smiled, looking off a bit.

“Yeah, I was helping her with this crazy experiment!” she exclaimed, shaking her head whenever a new word came out of her mouth. “I mean, I don’t need to go into the details,” she said, much quieter, her face going a light crimson. “But I had lots of fun! More than usual! Maybe we even broke a record!”

Mr. Cake appraised Pinkie, before making another realization. Was everypony hooking up nowadays?

“So, uh yeah.” Pinkie said, rubbing the back of her head with a hoof. “How were things while we were all gone, Mr. Cake?”

“Just fine, Pinkie. I made something new,” he answered. “Maybe it’ll last. And just call me Carrot, Pinkie. Mr. Cake is way too formal. It’s not like I call you Ms. Pie, is it?”

“Well, no, I guess not… But I’ve always called you Mr. Cake, Mr. Cake! I mean Carrot!” gasped Pinkie, covering her mouth with a hoof. Carrot let out a short laugh.

“You’ll get used to it Pinkie, don’t worry. And I like it better.” He said, starting off towards the front of the bakery.

“Okie-dokie-lokie, Carrot! So what did you make? A new type of cupcake? Oh! A new kind of cake! No no no, wait, a big, huge, giant cookie, with thousands of chocolate chips!” she salivated, her eyes turning into large cookies. Carrot blinked, and they were regular eyes again. He shook his head.

“Well, no. You know Derpy and Doctor Whooves? How they smooched?” asked Carrot.

“What does that have to do with giant chocolate chip cookies?” interrupted Pinkie.

“Nothing, Pinkie- what I was trying to say was that I got them together. They came in here about half an hour ago as friends, and they left as more than that. All because of me.” He said, triumphantly, puffing out his chest.

“What do you mean, Carrot?” asked Pinkie, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, they liked each other, but they were too afraid to say anything. So I just said what needed to be said, and presto! And now they’re going to be so much happier.” He replied, clapping his front hooves together. Maybe he was spending too much time around Pinkie.

“Aww, Carrot! You’re so sweet!” exclaimed Pinkie, making a little happy face.

“I do run a bakery, you know, “explained Carrot. Pinkie just smiled.

“Just leave the baking puns to me, Carrot. I’ll cake up some new ones later,” said Pinkie, making that face she did whenever she was close to laughing.

“Just make sure you don’t tell any pies!” chuckled Carrot.

“Aaand that’s why I said you should leave them to me,” Pinkie said.

“Sorry.”

Comments

[thewaffler]

I read this on fanfiction.net and thought it was really good, so I figure I'd leave my comment here instead. This was a very well written funny ship fic that borders on diabetic levels of d'awww and I love how Carrot and the doctor play off each other. There isn't much else I can say. I do like the fact that Mr.Cake reads those celerity gossip rags like my old man.

[asmodeushun]

Nice story

[blaa6]

STAGE CLEAR:
This Fan-Fiction
Writing: A+
Pacing: A+
Comedy: B+
Time: F...WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DID BADLY ON TIME?
Score: 4.5 Stars

[ManestreamMMR]

169650

Seconded, This fic made me d'awwwwww a lot, pretty funny and well written, I giggled through the whole thing

[10000 B_C]

Thanks for the kind words. Should I add a comedy tag, 169760 and 169650?

[Specs95]

So D'aaw, and is that TwiPie I spy? Well if it didn't already hold my interest it does now.