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Intro: "Will you quit with the puns, it's making me see colours!"2,327 words
Ch 1:"This lightning is crazy!"2,117 words
Ch 2: Experts1,403 words

Ch 2: Experts

"Asterix! You won't believe what I've got!"

From Asterix's vantage point in a tree, he looked down through the branches at his large friend who had something red in his hand.

"Yes, Obelix? What did you find?"

"A lion!"

This brought some relief to Asterix, finding lions around here meant they had to be around that Africa he had heard about. He never thought it would be so full of forests. He jumped from the tree to see the majestic creature for himself.

"Good job Obelix! That tells us where we-" Then it saw it. The front looked like a lion, sure, except for the massive bats wings and scorpion tail hanging off it's back end. "Obelix?! What is that?"

"Dinner!" Was the reply.

^\/^\/^\/^
In the library known as Books & Branches
^\/^\/^\/^

With the fillies secure and their story told, Twilight paced up and down the library. The three foals sat at attention, annoyed and still slightly scared as they watched the unicorn.

"Creatures like that? It can't be possible, and so close to Ponyville! Surely we would've heard of them at one point if they are an intelligent species." Once again, she stopped and faced the three fillies. "They were talking, right? They said words, real, understandable words?" And again, they nodded.

Twilight dragged more books from shelves and started to flick through them at lightning speeds. Still, they proved to be unfruitful, and so they joined the rapidly growing pile of discarded literature sitting in the corner.

"Twilight, calm down!" Spike, the ever faithful Dragon, poked his head out of the corner pile carrying some books to place away. "Celestia's already sending down some experts on unknown species, I'm sure they can tell us more."

As if by clockwork of a story that didn't waste time, the door burst open to reveal a very posh looking Unicorn, marked with a beast in cage against his irony grey coat. Slitted red eyes scanned the room, taking in the ponies waiting in the room.

"Hm! So, these are the witnesses? Good! Tell, speak! Let me learn of this-" Before he continued, he spotted Spike giving him the odd glance as he re-shelved books. "Halt! I spot a beast! A dragon!"

The Unicorns horn lit up with red sparks as Spike was thrown into the air, magical chains appearing out of nowhere wrapping his limbs and finishing with a padlock. He then dropped Spike into a waiting silver cage below.

"Capture! Behold, I, Generic Anti-Evil, who has saved the good life of the Princesses student and her foals!" A green mare, who had seemingly popped out of the ground, took photos with a large camera that matched her Cutie-mark.

"Wonderful Anti! You did it again! YAY!"

Generic hopped onto the cage, flipping his golden mane with swayed back as if blown by a invisible force.

^\/^\/^\/^

In the forest...
^\/^\/^\/^

"Oh no." Asterix said, sitting up suddenly.

"What's wrong Asterix? I hope it wasn't that funny lion was it? I thought I cooked those quite well."

"No, not that, I just had the sudden feeling that another idiot was just created."

"Oh. So the usual for you then."

^\/^\/^\/^
Back in the library
^\/^\/^\/^

As Generic Anti-Evil stood over the caged Spike, a rather angry black cloud began to appear above his head, sounded by an equally angry purple glow. Just as it started to spark, he looked up.

"Eh?" Purple lightening stabbed heavily at his head, causing thousands of volts to pass through his body with intense pain. Afterwards, all that remained was a wide-eyed smoking black shade, that roughly resembled a pony.

"Ahem," coughed Twilight, "I'd appreciate it if you'd let my number one assistant out of the cage. Now."

Just as quick as he was struck with lightening, Generic was back on his hooves and releasing the spells holding Spike. Once freed, Spike quickly ran over and took cover behind Twilight in case the nut-job decided to hang him from the roof.

After whipping off the last of his charred fur, Generic motioned towards the door and the small army of royal guards waiting outside. "Well, Princesses student, I've got work to do, as I'm sure you understand. Now please don't worry yourself, this shall end quickly! Or I'm not Generic Anti-Evil!"

As quickly as he had entered and made an ass of himself, Generic left with the camera mare right behind and grabbed the attention of this battalion. "Right! Enough horsing around, we've got creatures to catch!"

Twilight watched as the 'Expert', his overly clingy fan, and the unsure looking guards made off towards the Everfree forest. Once they had gone out of sight, she turned back to her guests.

"Well, this won't end well. Who wants to go visit Fluttershy?"

"ME!" The four shouted in chorus.

^\/^\/^\/^
Again, in the forest
^\/^\/^\/^

"Stop! Everypony stop! We've found... tracks! Yes definitely tracks!" Generic was face down on the ground, closely observing some odd footprints. "Hmm... yes! We've got them now! Forward, march!"

He took off, eager to finally catch his fame. The guards merely sat beneath some trees and were napping, or watching the dimwitted stallion walk around a bush repeatably. "Yes, yes! You lot better keep up! We'll have them soon, just you wait!"

The guards weren't going anywhere, however, as they sat beneath a large tree watching the foolish stallion walk around a bush.

"Sir?" A private asked, "What are we doing with our lives?"

The Sargent just sighed, "We're giving it away to ponies like him. Then, when we're too old to do anything else, we become ponies like him."

The privates expression turned spooked. He didn't want to end up like that!

After saluting, he trotted off, pass the other soldiers, and into the forest. He was going to be a coward, but if that meant he could avoid that kind of future then that was fine for him. After some guilty feelings and a small scale mind-war, he soon realised that he's gone off the path, surrounded by nothing but bush.

In the distance, he spied a small light, similar to a camp fire. He sighed in relief, and went in the lights direction.

^\/^\/^\/^
The Gaulish Camp
^\/^\/^\/^

Finally, after a hectic night, morning, and lunch, the two Gauls plus dog finally managed to get some quiet time which they filled with napping. Asterix slept leaning against a tree facing the rest of camp, while Obelix rested on the other side with his menhir and Dogmatix. All was peaceful.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKK!!"

A very loud, high pitched voice ran through Asterix's ear as a body stood beside the tree he rested on. It was ended suddenly when a stony missile soared into the noise maker, taking half the tree with it with luckily non of Asterix.

"Obelix!" The giant of a man only muttered slightly in his sleep, his arm still in the air from throwing the menhir.

Asterix gave an angry huff, then turned to the damage. The tree somehow still stood with half it's middle missing and behind it was a trail the menhir had left in the dirt. At the end of the trail was an armoured small horse, senseless.

"Oh no." He rushed to the creatures side and was relived that it didn't have any permanent damage, somehow. With not much other assistance he could offer, Asterix popped open his small amount of magic potion and took a drop, enough to lift the menhir away and move the poor creature into a more comfortable position.

Suddenly, he couldn't move his arms as they became locked in chains. They chains were seemingly alive, covering his mouth before he could give a shout of warning and soon his entire face was covered, leaving him blind.

"Yes, I think we'll fetch quite the price for this one," said an unfamiliar voice.

Author's Note:

SURPRISE!!

With this chapter, I tried sticking to the comedy of the original comics. How well did I do? Feed back would be nice, have a nice day!

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Lolsternater

Lolsternater #1 · Nov 13th, 2013 · · ·

3481991
Unfortunately I have never had the pleasure of reading the comic that weren't translated into English. To that extent, all translators had the idea of changing the names, so even if I changed the names to the original versions it wouldn't really help in the long run. They are still the same characters, after all.

Black Hoof

Black Hoof #2 · Nov 13th, 2013 · · ·

Looking good, but there are still a few typos here and there. Have you got an proofreader?
At the end, you should tell Asterix drank his potion before moving the menhir.

Lolsternater

Lolsternater #3 · Nov 13th, 2013 · · ·

3482346
Bugger, I knew I forgot something!

Also, as far as proofreaders go, I have some kind of mental problem that denies the urges or even the thoughts of asking others for help as they probably have better things to do or see me as pathetic.
I call it 'Fluttersyndrom'.
Seriously though, I don't like bothering people for something I could do myself.

Black Hoof

Black Hoof #4 · Nov 13th, 2013 · 1 · ·

3482411
Even the best authors of fimfiction have one or several proofreaders to point typos out and to suggest ideas. There is no shame in asking for one.
If you don't want, take the time to reread and look for errors yourself.

danail24

danail24 #5 · Nov 13th, 2013 · 1 · ·

Nice, nice! Few mistakes, a bit rushed though. Still, everything seems well. I find this twist quite ennerving though. Seriously? Poachers? Or whatever! When did some poachers get informed about Asterix and Obelix's arrival? Unless it's the Anti-evil stallion who happens to be a poacher who is just pretending to be crazy in front of the guards.

Very Twisty indeed!