• Published 24th Feb 2013
  • 14,451 Views, 464 Comments

The Trotzamore Stratagem - The Rarispy



(The Gems Trilogy: Episode 3) The Mane 6 try to stop Discord from gaining ultimate power, as they and Sweetie Belle face their own battles closer to the heart.

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Golden

“They are such a sweet little couple, aren’t they? Even if it’s not built to last, one way or the other.”

“Not built to last…”

A ticking grandfather clock echoed through the otherwise silent tranquility of Golden Harvest’s home. Her kitchen was remarkably huge, big enough that it could potentially be converted into a dining room with a wider table.

The walls in Golden Harvest’s house were all painted orange (go figure), and all the white, green-rimmed drapes had carrot patterns on them as well. Along with a few assorted knick-knacks and a healthy surplus of carrots in the marked refrigerator, these elements made up the carrot motif of Golden Harvest’s house.

At the counter stood a smiling Golden Harvest. With a knife in her mouth, she chopped up a carrot and placed the wedges on the stove, humming a happy tune to herself. But on the dark mahogany table in the living room, sat a depressed white filly, with her face buried in her left hoof.

“Alright, Sweetie! Here’s breakfast!”

Sweetie Belle’s head sagged upward to reveal droopy, baggy eyes, with red in their sclera and lines around their lids. A steaming plate of food slid across the table past a vase of carrots to meet its consumer.

“Fresh sliced carrots ala Eggs Fennedict and hay bacon strips!”

“Thanks,” said Sweetie in a monotone voice.

“Sorry I didn’t make toast. My toaster is still broken.”

“That’s okay,” she replied, still with a dull tone.

Golden Harvest stood hunched over with a warm smile on her face, her “Kiss the Carrot” apron pressed against the edge of the table, with a gleam in her eyes, which darted awkwardly around the room. Eventually, she jumped back down onto all fours and headed away.

“Well, I’ll… just be right in here if you need anything.”

“K.”

“Right… here.”

Golden slowly slounched back into the kitchen, keeping her face focused straight on Sweetie the whole time, the smile on her face never faltering.

After she left, Sweetie Belle just stared at the food, not even making the slightest move to take a bite of it, as it laid in front of her releasing hot steam into the room.

Golden popped her head back through the doorway.

“I’ll be here all day, you know. If you need, say… somepony to talk to. Somepony to be a friend. A shoulder to lean on. You know what I mean?”

“Yup.”

“Okay, then… well, enjoy the food. Like I said, I’m over here, not busy doing anything.”

She disappeared, and the room became silent once again. Sweetie still wasn’t bothering to eat her food. As she made an internal sigh, Golden Harvest suddenly dashed to the table, tossing away her apron, and planted both of her hooves on the table in front of Sweetie Belle.

“Okay, that’s it! You’re depressed about something, and I want to know what it is right now! TELL ME!”

Sweetie closed her eyes, and sighed again.

“Can I ask you a question, Miss Harvest?”

“Of course you can, Sweetums! …You’re not uncomfortable with me calling you ‘Sweetums’, are you?” Sweetie shrugged. “Go ahead.”

“Well… when you were young, did you ever have, you know—”

“Oh! I know where this is heading!” Golden piped up. “Secret garden, right?” She shook her head. “Aw, man. I love the secret garden talk. Oh, well. Continue.” She started to sip her carrot juice as Sweetie resumed her question.

“I was just wondering… did you ever have a special somepony when you were little?” Golden promptly spit the juice out.

“Yuck! This carrot juice is stale! Hmm, I’m sorry, what were you saying? Oh! A special somepony when I was little? Yeah, I had me one of those.”

“You did!? What was he like?”

“Well, it was a ‘she’, actually.”

“Oh.”

“Yes, I remember now… Mandy Mousse. My first love. The day I met her, it seemed like we were going to last forever. But in the end, it was about… gee, one or two years that we dated? A year and a half, maybe. We were only fillies, I remember that much… So it was more like what we as fillies thought of as dating.”

“What happened?” asked Sweetie, who was by now much more intent and focused.

“I don’t know. Eventually, we just decided to stop. I suppose you could say we just… grew up.”

“Grew up?” Sweetie’s eyes turned to the surface of the table again. I don’t like the sound of that…

“It wasn’t all for naught, though. I mean, we stayed friends after that, and it was only through her and her eventual business connections that I developed a close bond with your sister. Actually, come to think of that, did Rarity ever find out that Mandy and I went on dates when we were fillies? Probably not, seeing as how surprised she was when Berryshine and I started—Hey, are you okay?”

Sweetie Belle was sniffling, on the verge of tears. A single drip splashed onto the table.

“Oh, hey hey, don’t cry!” Golden dashed over to where Sweetie was sitting and kneeled down to try to console the upset filly. “I’m not making it worse, am I? I’m not trying to make things worse, honest!”

“No, no… it’s not you. It’s just—what you said. About growing up. I’m afraid. Afraid that I’m going to grow up too…”

“Oh… Oh. Oh! Ohhh. Oh! I get it now! This is about you and Spike, isn’t it?”

Sweetie instantly perked up.

“H-how did you know about that!?”

“Are you kidding?” Golden giggled. “Your sister likes to talk about you two at least once a week. She thinks it’s immensely adorable.”

“Why, because of how short-loved she thinks it’s going to be?” she huffed.

“You know what? I think I have just the thing for you. Hold on a second,” said Carrot as she headed down the hallway.

With a moment to herself, Sweetie Belle glanced around the room. Finally, her glance caught a photograph on the nightstand next to Golden Harvest’s green couch. It depicted Golden together with her marefriend Berryshine, making silly faces.

Hmm. I overheard Rarity saying a couple of months ago that Miss Harvest had just gotten a marefriend. I guess it was true after all. …Isn’t that the weirdo pony who’s really obsessed with her grape juice and is always doing silly things around town?

As she continued looking around, a movement in the windowsill suddenly made her jump.

W-what was that? I thought I just saw something move under the window. It looked all red or something. Was that… was that a pony?

Before she could elaborate on the mysterious sight any further, Golden Harvest returned, bearing a rock-sized red gem.

“Hey!” Sweetie remarked. “This looks like the kind of gem that Spike talks about all the time. I think he calls it a fire ruby!”

“Very good! That’s exactly what it is. I figured you might want to bring Spike over, so I decided to acquire this just in case you wanted to impress him with a present. Don’t ask me how I got this by the way, long and unpleasant story.”

“But I still don’t get it,” said Sweetie, facing her reflection in the stone. “How is this going to help?”

“It’ll show him how much you care. He’s probably aware of how hard these are to come by, so when he sees just how willing and determined you are to find him the perfect gift that would make him as happy as he could be, and well… that might just strengthen your special bond.”

“Oh my gosh, you’re right! Do you mind if I give this to him now?” She flashed a beaming smile at her guardian.

“Ohhh, I don’t know. What about your breakfast?”

“I can finish it when I get back, can’t I?”

“It looks like it’s already gotten cold anyway. Mmm, alright, go ahead then.”

“Hurray! Thanks, Miss Harvest!”

She tossed the fire ruby into her saddlebag and left for the door. As soon as she was gone, Golden looked around to make sure nopony was there, and then started munching on one of the carrots in the vase.

Sweetie plunged open the door. As soon as she did, she spotted something on the carrot-shaped welcome mat.

“Hey, Miss Harvest! There’s a tulip here for you!”

“A tulip? Really? Who’s it from?”

“I don’t know, it doesn’t say.”

With that said and done, she leapt off the porch and went on her merry way. Golden stepped out to collect the rose. Adorned in morning dew, it seemed radiant in the sunlight, as if freshly picked. As she picked it up and sniffed the fine flower, she noticed the note attached to it.

To the prettiest mare in all of Equestria, from Berryshine. Awwww! I’ll have to thank her for it later! And maybe I should do something for her too… Something with carrots…” she muttered to herself as she walked back inside with the rose.

After a few seconds of silence, Roseluck poked her head out from the one of the bushes, with a very dismayed look on her face. She gave a soft whimper.


“Oh, boy… This one is going to taste so good.”

The steam rose up to Spike’s cheeks, as an overwhelming sense of euphoria immersed through his nerves.

“It’s so big…” He uttered, mesmerized. “I can just taste it now…”

Finally, he grabbed the thick, succulent rod with his left claw and started to inch it up closer to his drooling mouth, ready to engage.

“And the best part is: it’s mine.”

With great force, Spike finally brought the gleaming long diamond to his face in a binding kiss.

“Ohhhh… yeah. It took over four straight weeks to heat this baby up enough, but it will be so worth it, when I finally taste that—”

But he was interrupted by a knock at the door.

“Oh, uh… coming! Just one second! Oh…”

Spike quickly deposited his long diamond into a small chest, and then ran upstairs with it. The knocking continued, even louder now. Spike rushed back down.

“Coming, coming!”

He opened the door to see his young love standing before him, a big smile on her face.

“Hi, Spike!”

“Oh… hey, Sweetie Belle! What’s cookin’, good lookin’?”

“Oh, stop it!” Sweetie retorted, waving him off. “You say that every time I come over!”

“So, what’s up?” asked Spike. He held her hoof as she walked into the house. “Y’know, Twilight’s still off with her friends, so I got all day if there’s… something you wanted to do.”

“Not really. I already made plans to go crusading with Apple Bloom and Scootaloo,”she shrugged. “I just wanted to stop by really quick and give you a little something.”

“A gift?”

“Mmmmmaybe!”

“Well, what is it?” he prodded, with rising excitement in his voice.

“Close your eyes,” Sweetie instructed.

“O-okay.” Just as she asked, Spike closed his eyes and held out his claws. Sweetie took the fire ruby out of her saddlebag and dropped it into his claws, which collapsed to the ground in the weight of the gem. “OOF! Man, that’s heavy! I can open them now, right?”

“YUP!” she piped.

Spike slowly opened his eyes and glossed in amazement at the ruby.

“Whoa… Sweetie Belle, this is…”

“Amazing!? Stupendous!? THE MOST AWESOMEST GIFT YOU’VE EVER GOTTEN!?”

“Great!”

“Huh?” she uttered, rearing her face back as the happiness seemed to jump completely off of her face. “It’s… it’s great? That’s it?”

“Well, yeah!” said Spike, as he rubbed the gem with his claw. “I mean, I just love fire rubies, and this is probably the biggest one I’ve ever seen! Seriously, this is such a great gift. Thank you, Sweetie Belle.” He put the ruby down and hopped next to Sweetie, whom he gave a tender peck on the cheek.

However, Sweetie Belle just had a face of absolute bemusement, and she started stepping away from Spike.

“I-I-I-I don’t understand,” she moaned. “This was supposed to be—How-how can you just—It’s—It’s—How is that happening!? IS IT TRUE? IS IT REALLY, REALLY TRUE!?”

“Wh-what do you mean? Is what really true?” asked Spike in a worried tone.

“You—And the—And you think it’s—But how—I JUST DON’T GET IT!” Suddenly, she grasped Spike’s chest with her hooves, much to his shock. “A month ago, I gave you a sky blue topaz! It was about a size of a rock! But you said it was one of the most amazing gifts you’d ever gotten! But that… THAT fire ruby is just ‘great’? DON’T YOU REALIZE WHAT THIS MEANS!?” she shouted in his face, shaking him about.

“I—I—SweeEEeetie, liiIIiisten! The reaaason I said it was juuUUuust great was because I was getting, ehh—just getting really excited about—”

Sweetie pushed him onto the ground and hovered over him, still yelling in his face.

“IT’S BECAUSE YOU LOVE ME EVEN LESS THAN YOU DID A MONTH AGO!”

“W-What!?” he exclaimed. “No, you got it all wrong! That’s not—”

But his pleading was falling on deaf ears. Sweetie had backed all the way up to the door, breathing heavily.

“It’s true! It’s true what Rarity said!” she panicked. Tears were welling up in her eyes. “Young love really doesn’t last! I can’t believe it! Is our love—Is our love really doomed to fade!?”

Spike started walking towards her, his eyes also getting watery. He held out his claw to embrace her hoof.

“Sweetie…”

“No, get away from me! I’VE GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE! THIS LOVE CAN’T FADE AS LONG IF I DON’T LET IT!”

Before Spike could even say another word, Sweetie Belle had already dashed right out the door, leaving Spike all alone. He collapsed to his knees, and eventually fell to the floor altogether. The tears started streaming down his face as he tried to piece together everything that had just happened.

“Rarity… Rarity said what?”


She needs it now, more than ever.

The light must be there to guide her.

For without it, she will surely fall into despair.

The darkness around her, teasing at her every sensitive nerve.

She is unraveling, spiraling. All hope lost.

“Please stop… You’re wrong… They do care for me… And she does, too… I am not nothing… Please stop.”

She needs the light.

The light must appear to her once more.

But where is the light? It is lost.

And with it, hope is gone as well.

“Leave me alone… Please, whoever you are… Just let me be…”

The light must find her.

“Please…”

Before it is too late.

Author's Note:

If I had the power and money, I'd totally make "Kiss the Carrot" aprons a real thing.