Inside the prestigious Canterlot Castle, the Princess of the Sun was pacing around the throne room back and forth, with a concerned look on her face. She gave a solemn sigh before hearing the sound of hoofsteps approaching.
“Princess Celestia!” called Twilight. “We’re here.”
“Twilight,” the Princess welcomed, a hint of relief in her voice. “I’m very glad to see you and all your friends too.”
“And us you, Princess,” Rarity responded in a low voice.
“Why did you want to see us? Is something wrong?” asked Fluttershy.
Celestia’s smile turned into a frown again.
“…Yes. As a matter of fact, something is very wrong.” They all gasped.
“Oh no, oh no!” Pinkie exclaimed. “Is the royal candy surplus all gone? Are we facing a shortage of cherries all across Equestria!? DID SOMEPONY LEAVE THE OVEN ON!?”
“Pinkie!” Twilight scolded.
“I was really hoping to not have to involve you all in this matter, but I fear there’s no other choice. In fact, we may be on the brink of what could potentially be the greatest disaster in Equestria.”
“What do you mean, Princess?” Twilight insisted, rushing over. “What’s happening?”
She pointed out the window in response. They all came over and took a look, until finally Rainbow turned around.
“Okay, I give. What are we looking at, exactly?”
“Take a closer look at the Sculpture Garden. Notice anything out of the ordinary?”
“Hmm…” Applejack squinted her eyes. “Ah don’t see—hang on a second. Isn’t that… WHOA! Jumping jackrabbits in a January jamboree!”
They all gasped as they too noticed the anomaly. Celestia walked away from the window once more and faced a stained glass window on the wall, depicting the Elements and Harmony and their triumph over a certain Draconequus.
“We don’t know how, but somehow Discord has broken free of his imprisonment.”
“B-But I don’t understand!” Twilight stammered. “We sealed him in stone with the Elements of Harmony! You said yourself he should be all good for years to come! How did he escape? When did he escape?”
“You’re hardly going to believe this… but one of the guards first noticed this and came to inform me almost three months ago.”
Their eyes all widened in shock and amazement.
“Discord’s…”
“Been…”
“Free…”
“For Three…”
“Whole months!?”
“And he never made it rain chocolate again even ONCE in all that time? THE NERVE! Where is he? LET ME AT HIM!” Twilight and Fluttershy tried to hold Pinkie down as she started getting into a tussle with the air around her.
“I don’t get it!” said Rainbow, scratching her head. “If Discord broke free from his stone prison over three months ago, why didn’t you call us then? Why wait so long?”
“We wanted to keep this entire matter a secret until we could figure out the circumstances of Discord’s escape, and what he might be planning,” Celestia explained. “Mostly, we were just waiting for him to turn up or leave a calling card. But that’s the very strange part. Ever since he disappeared from the pedestal, there’s been no trace of him, in statue form or otherwise.”
“Pardon me for interrupting…” interrupted Rarity. “But if Discord has barely struck since the statue disappeared, then how exactly are you so sure that he’s broken free at all?”
“That’s a good point, actually,” Twilight realized. “Princess, have you considered the possibility that somepony may have stolen or moved Discord’s statue?”
The Princess nodded. “You’re both right, that is a very distinct possibility. We just want to make sure we don’t take any chances.” At this point though, she was stifling a giggle. “The more you mention it though, it seems even more likely that this was simply a prank or a heist. Perhaps we have nothing to fear after all…”
Suddenly, before they could react, fireworks rose up from the floor and exploded around the room, startling all seven of them. As they dissipated, a series of white flashes converged above them, until finally forming into the shape of a familiar character: Discord himself… sporting a handlebar mustache, a top hat, and an orange bow-tie.
“Au contraire, mon princesa! HEEEEEEE’S BACK!”
Twilight’s eyes widened in fear as her ears drooped down. “So he did escape!”
“But how!?” Applejack exclaimed.
“WHERE’S THE CHOCOLATE RAIN AND COTTON CANDY CLOUDS, YOU HOLDING-OUT… err, holding-out-er!” Pinkie demanded.
“Discord!” shouted Celestia as she approached the spirit of chaos and disharmony in all his mischievousness. “What are you up to this time!?”
“Turning Ponyville into the ‘Capital of Chaos’ again, I bet!” Rainbow said sharply.
“Ooh! Ooh! And make it rain sweet, sweet chocolate again!?” Pinkie interjected. The others stared at her puzzlingly, and rolled their eyes. “…Pretty please with a cherry and coconut sprinkles on top?”
“Oh, please!” scoffed Discord, as he materialized a Disney-styled glove to physically scoff at them. He then let it disappear up his ear. “I’m not limiting myself to such a simple, petty little goal like that. Heck, you can have your mamby-pamby little Ponyville if you want, I don’t care about it.”
“Then just what are you planning?” asked Twilight.
“And more importantly, how did you manage to break free?” Rainbow added.
To this, Discord just chuckled. “I’m afraid a good magician never reveals his secrets.” He walked amongst the group, lifting up twirling Applejack’s hat in his finger for a few seconds. “Though if you really must know, well… let’s just say I had the right keys.”
And with that, he suddenly turned to face Rarity and Fluttershy with a menacing grin. Fluttershy cowered behind her love in fear.
“How is your little sister doing by the way, Rarity?”
“W-What do you…”
That grin became a grimace when he spotted Twilight and Pinkie Pie. He disappeared and then re-appeared in between them, pushing them apart with his hands.
“Mind if I cut in?” he asked with a forced smile. “Anywhen, what was I saying again? Oh, yeah!”
He appeared above them once more and magically enhanced his shape until his large shadow was blanketing over Celestia and the six ponies.
“YOU FOOLS KNOW NOT THE MERITS OF MY TRUE AMBITIONS!” He bellowed in a booming voice. He stopped for a minute to cough, before returning to his normal voice. “This time, I’m after a much bigger prize! Ever heard of a place called… Trotzamore?”
Princess Celestia gasped in horror.
“What business do you have in Trotzamore, Discord?” she scowled. “That place is not for the likes of you!”
“Ahh, same old Queen ‘Lesty,” Discord remarked, patting her sneering head. “Always the curmudgeon, aren’t we? Seriously, can’t you guards find something to help relieve those killjoy ways of yours…” He took off his head and reshaped it into a ball. “…like a bowling alley?”
Testing the air with his finger and taking a few delicate side-steps forward, he rolled his own head into a set of ten pins, bowling a strike. The pins meshed around before reforming into his own fangs.
“You’re afraid, aren’t you? You know exactly what I want to do there.”
“I do,” she said, taking a stance forward. The others just looked upon looking nonplussed by the whole thing. “And that’s why I’m asking you nicely, Discord. Do NOT interfere with the powers of Trotzamore.” As she kept talking, Discord mimicked her speech with his chicken hand while making silly faces. “You have no idea what you’re dealing with. Trotzamore fuels the very things that make each pony special, and it would only cause disaster for anyone to tamper with—STOP THAT!”
Satisfied in his response, Discord made a hearty laugh as he dressed himself up in vacationer’s clothes with fully-packed suitcases and sunscreen on his nose.
“Well, as much as I enjoy your oh-so lovely company, Princess, I’m afraid I’m late for an appointment with Trotzamore! I hear it’s especially lovely this time of year, and I just can’t miss my flight.”
“No, wait!” yelled Celestia, reaching out her hoof. “Discord, stop!”
The Disney-styled glove came out his other ear and waved to them. “Ta-ta, kiddies! See you in the beginnings of a new frontier! A NEW FRONTIER OF CHAOS!”
That last sentence echoed as he finally vanished, leaving the group alone in the room again. The glove dropped to the floor, as Pinkie immediately dashed over to place it at the tip of her mane.
Rainbow spoke first. “I—Wha—What was—What did he—WHAT JUST HAPPENED!?”
“W-what did he mean by ‘the beginnings of a new frontier’?” Fluttershy meekly asked, emerging from behind Rarity.
“And aside that, why does he care about Sweetie Belle?” Rarity wondered. “That poor little filly’s never done him any harm!”
“And where did he go?” asked Twilight.
Pinkie butted in front of her. “And why is he still not making the clouds rain chocolate and the corn pop delicious popcorn?”
Celestia didn’t respond for a few seconds. She stared out the window.
“To Trotzamore,” she finally said solemnly.
“What?” they all replied in unison.
“Like he said, he’s probably off to Trotzamore by now. Heavens of Equestria know what great evils he could machinate by gaining its power.”
“But what in the hay is this ‘Trotzamore’ place, anyway?” asked Applejack.
“Come to the archives,” she motioned. “I can explain there.”
Princess Celestia led them through the Canterlot Archives, past several library wings, as she explained further.
“Trotzamore is one of this land’s great dark secrets. One that nopony’s supposed to know about.”
“Is that why you’ve never told me about this place, Princess?” asked Twilight, pulling the glove off of Pinkie.
She nodded. “Very few ponies are aware of its existence and purpose at all. My ancestors were very careful about choosing who was allowed to be in the know. Come, everything you need to know is in here, in the Lilac Candescence wing.”
They came across a gated library entrance, which had an image of a candle over it. The symbol of Luna’s Cutie Mark also adorned the gate.
“This wing is normally off-limits to anypony but Luna,” Celestia explained, as she used her magic to open it. “But this will have to be the one exception.”
Apart from a candle in the windowsill burning with the aid of a magic spell, there wasn’t anything particularly extraordinary about the Lilac Candescence wing. It was filled with several rows of bookshelves like the other wings, but was noticeably smaller and more well-kept. It also seemed to contain far more scrolls than books.
The ponies followed Princess Celestia to a shelf in the far back-right corner of the room. She pushed several scrolls aside before finally pulling out a very dusty-looking magenta book. It made a loud THUD as she set it down on the table.
As she opened up the book with her magic, all six of the group went “Oooooooh!” upon being treated to a wondrous-looking image.
Though it was a sepia-tone image, it still painted a magnificent picture of a rising valley, all lined with a variety of flowers that seemed to glimmer. The sky was pure white with clouds that appeared to be of different colors. And at the center of the hill was a giant glowing orb that was rooted to the ground by tree branches and seemed to be radiating a great power.
“Trotzamore is a magical field that lies far beyond the civilized confines of Equestria,” Celestia explained. “Our ancestors have harnessed its power for melleniums. It’s an expansive land that contains much power. And that power is said to drive the hearts and ambitions of every pony in Equestria!”
“What!?” all six of them exclaimed.
“The magic produced by the field radiates all over Equestria, granting us with the very magic of emotion and personality. Individual emotions and traits, romance and feelings of love… those signals are all channeled out by the Lustrous Orb in the middle of the garden. It even provides the cornerstone of childbirth in couples!”
"It does... what?" asked Fluttershy in astonishment.
“The field used to be public knowledge. But as the years went by, countless rulers kept trying to exert control over Trotzamore so as to gain a complete hold over the hearts of their subjects. None of them were powerful enough, and yet our ancestors became so worried about the potential of Trotzamore falling into the wrong hooves that they sealed it away from public access with their magic and purged all recorded knowledge of it. Now only those deemed worthy by the field itself are allowed to enter it.”
“I see,” Twilight responded, trying to wrap all of this around her head. “Well now I understand why it’s a secret, but why is it a dark secret?”
“Because… as I mentioned, Trotzamore is a potentially dangerous place. It channels all love and emotion in ponies, as I said. And if anyone with foul intentions were to find Trotzamore and have access to all of its magic…”
“Someone like Discord…” Fluttershy meekly added.
“Discord has always been able to manifest only physical chaos around his environment. But if he were to seize all the powers of Trotzamore, then those feelings, emotion, romantic love, family love, and even friendships, would be his to control! He could create chaos of the heart! The whole of Equestria would be doomed.”
They all gasped again, and exchanged looks of extreme worry and concern.
“But—but how can he stop him!?” Twilight panicked. “How can we keep Trotzamore safe?”
Princess Celestia thought hard for a few seconds, staring up at the ceiling. Finally, she had an epiphany.
“There is one way.”
She flipped the book several pages in, until finally stopping on an image of fifteen distinct gemstones.
“Oh, my!” Rarity exclaimed. “What beauties! You didn’t tell me there would be some fabulous rocks involved!”
“Those are the Gemstones of Passion. Besides being worthy enough by your own merit, you will also need to present them to the Gate in order to gain access.”
“Well, that sounds easy enough,” said Rainbow. “So where are these little hunks of crystal anyway?”
“That is the challenge. When my ancestors created the link between the Gemstones and the field, they re-dispersed them throughout Equestria, to help Trotzamore safe from those of foul intentions.”
“Scattered… all over Equestria?” Twilight repeated.
“Well, how in the hay are we supposed to find them before Discord does?”
“There is… an old spell that can help with that,” Celestia remembered. “Let me see. It must be on one of these scrolls.”
She sifted through the scrolls on the shelf until she pulled one out of cobwebs. She read it carefully, eventually pulling up a smile on her face. And then, stancing herself, she focused the energy on her horn and blasted the group of six with a red magic.
“Whoa, what the—” Rainbow started.
“W-What was that?” asked Fluttershy, glancing at her hoof and body.
“It’s a special spell that can help you detect the Gemstones’ locations. Think of it as an amplified version of a unicorn’s gem-finding spell. All you have to do is concentrate, and you’ll be able to sense where the Gemstones are. You may even be able to draw out a map.”
“Oh, I get it!” Pinkie realized. “It’s like a Gemstone Sense! Hurray, wee’re all like Spider-Colt! We should get matching costumes!”
“But wait,” said Applejack. “If that’s some ample-whatzit unicorn magic, then can Fluttershy, Rainbow, Pinkie, and I still use it, since we’re Earth Ponies and Pegasi and all?”
“Of course. It should work for all six of you. Each of you will be able to detect one Gemstone at a time, and if all six of you focus the spell, you’ll be able to detect the locations of all fifteen of them.”
The six of them all turned to each other and gave affable responses of understanding.
“So you have your mission. I need you six to search Equestria for the fifteen Gemstones of Passion that will unite to unlock the Gate to Trotzamore. You must get there before Discord does. Any questions?”
Rarity raised her hoof. “There is one thing I’m curious about. You said that the Gemstones are scattered across Equestria. Surely, some ponies must have found one and pocketed it for themselves. What if we do if we run into such a situation?”
“I’m sure if we just sit down and the discuss the situation with them, they’ll gladly loan the Gemstone to us for the good of Equestria.”
“And if they don’t, then we’ll just have to take it by force!” Rainbow stated, bumping her hooves together. This earned her glares from everypony else. “Uh… or we can just ask them nicely, heh-heh.”
“Princess…” Twilight said softly. “You also only those who are worthy can enter Trotzamore. How do we know if we’re worthy?”
“Because I already know you are,” Celestia warmly replied. “You have all demonstrated that you understand what it means to cherish and love everything special to you, from the bottom of your heart. You’re all great friends, and some of you have even found true love.”
Rarity and Fluttershy grinned at each other, whilst Applejack adopted a big smile. Rainbow rubbed her hoof looking down at the floor, and glanced at Applejack. Twilight looked down to the ground with a warm smile, but was startled as Pinkie put her hoof around Twilight’s shoulder with a huge grin of her own.
“Fret not, ponies. Trotzamore will love you, I’m sure of it. Now then, will you accept this mission?”
Twilight looked to all of her friends. They all nodded back at her. She turned back to Celestia with a confident expression.
“Princess Celestia, we would be honored to take this quest, to protect Trotzamore and the hearts of everypony from Discord’s evil!”
“I’m delighted to hear that.”
“Oh-hoo-hoo! This is just rich!”
To their surprise, Discord appeared above them once more.
“You ladies really think you can find all the precious Gemstones of Passion and ‘protect’ Trotzamore?”
“We know we can!” Twilight sharply replied. “As long as we have each other, and our goal fresh in my minds, we can do anything, and that includes stopping you from spreading chaos!”
Discord just stared at them for a moment, taking a face of surprise and concern. However, he eventually just broke out into laughter.
“Oh, I do love a good sporting challenge. And I’ve been in need of a good laugh anyway, so why not?” With that, Discord snapped his fingers and made himself into the form of a running athlete. “Very well then, my little ponies! Let the race begin!”
With that, he charged up his feet and sped out the window.
“Last one to Trotzamore is a rotten egg!” he called back.
Shortly after he said that, six eggs appeared over the group and cracked above their heads, leaving yellow yolk to drip down their faces. They shook it off, except for Pinkie who just lapped it all up with her tongue.
“Mmm!”
“Come on, guys!” said Twilight. “We have to get moving!”
“Right!” They all exclaimed.
With that, the six of them all started running out of the wing.
“Oh! Twilight!” Celestia called.
Twilight came to a halt. “Yes?”
“Can I talk to you privately for a moment?”
She turned back to her friends. “I’ll meet you guys outside.” They nodded and left the wing.
“What is it?”
Princess Celestia, who appeared to be smiling and hopeful a moment ago, now looked grim and solemn again.
“Take a look out the wndow.”
Twilight did, and looked all around. Her brow lowered.
“What do you see?”
“I see… Canterlot. Looking the same as ever. Why?”
Celestia joined her next to the window. “Something else has been bothering me. If Discord was set loose over three months ago, then… why hasn’t he done anything?”
“You’re right,” Twilight realized. “Pinkie noticed that too. No cotton clouds or chocolate rain or corn turning into popcorn… He started doing all of that immediately the last time he escaped.”
“Exactly. And yet for the past three months, he never made himself known at all. No chaos; nothing is out of the ordinary, save for the skies being clear for an exceptional while. Why would he escape only to hide in the shadows for three months without doing anything? That isn’t his style at all.”
“So what is he doing, then?”
“I think… I think something there’s something bigger in the works that he’s letting on. Something he’s not telling us. Look. Even now that he’s exposed himself, he still hasn’t made any changes.”
“You’re right… What should we do?”
“Proceed with your quest, but just… remain cautious. I really can’t shake the feeling that we’re in for more than there’s something even more evil in the air than we’ve been led to believe.”
“Right. Okay, Princess.”
“Your majesty!” called one of the Princess’s guards. Princess Celestia winced as he approached. “Sorry to trouble you, your highness. There’s still no sign of Princess Luna anywhere, but we think we may have discovered a good lead of—Oh. I’m sorry, am I interrupting something?”
She gave an elongated sigh. “No, Braveheart. I was just talking to my student. Twilight, this is Braveheart, he’s the head palace guard. Second-in-command around here after your brother.” He waved at her, but Twilight just glanced between them uneasily. “I’ll be with you in a second.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He bowed to her and then departed.
“Princess… what did he mean by ‘still no sign of Princess Luna’? Did something happen to Luna!?” she asked, in a loud and concerned voice.
Celestia sighed again and went back to gazing out the window.
“I wasn’t going to tell you this, since I feel you and your friends have enough to worry about already. But… I’m afraid my sister Luna has been missing for several days now.”
“WHAT!?” Twilight shouted, her eyes flicking wide with shrunken pupils. “Several days!? HOW COULD LUNA BE MISSING FOR SEVERAL DAYS!?”
“My sister has been behaving oddly for the past few months,” Celestia explained. “One day, I heard her scream, and when I went to her room, she was gone. She turned up the following day claiming she was just ‘out in the garden’.”
“That… is very peculiar.”
“Ever since then, she kept disappearing and turning up again and saying she hadn’t been anywhere important. More than a few times, I even spotted her returning from the moon of all places.”
“The moon?”
“She was absent during the Changeling invasion of Canterlot, and even missed your brother’s wedding, you remember?”
That’s right. Twilight recalled the words of the Princess when she appeared at the reception. “Hello, everypony. Did I miss anything?”
“And now she’s disappeared again?”
“Yes. But she’s never been gone for more than a day before. This time, I fear something may have happened to her.” She shut her eyes and faced away from Twilight. “It’s been up to me to raise the moon in her absence, and I’ve had my guards searching all over the land for her, but they haven’t found anything.”
“Do you… need us to help in the search, Princess?”
“No—no that’s fine.” Her voice started to sound shaky. “Your priority right now is to make sure Discord doesn’t take over Trotzamore. For now, just focus on that.”
“O-Okay.”
Twilight started to leave again.
“Oh, but Twilight, If you do find out anything about her…” She turned to face her faithful student. To Twilight’s surprise, tears were welling up in her eyes. “Please… let me know right away.”
“I—I—” Is she… crying? I’ve seen the Princess cry tears of joy before, but I’ve never seen her cry out of pure sadness. This is really serious… “You got it, Princess,” Twilight choked.
She ran up out of the wing to rejoin her friends. Once she was gone, Princess Celestia collapsed to the ground and let the tears flow.
“Oh, Luna, my dear sister, where could you be...?”
Somewhere else, the Princess of the Night awoke to find herself inside a cavern. It was so dark that she could barely see anything, and the only sound was the drip-drip of water-drops.
“H-hello. Where am I? Is anypony—”
But she was cut off by the sound of ominous female laughter.
“Who—who was that? Who is there!?”
The entire cavern suddenly flashed up red for an instant, followed by more of the laughter, startling Luna to the extreme.
“S-s-stop it! That is not funny! Cut it out! I am the Princess of the Night, and I will not be treated in such way!”
The laughter continued, echoing off the walls of the cave. Another red flash happened. Finally, the Princess broke down and sprawled out on the ground with her hooves over her head. She started shaking as tears escaped her eyes.
“Please, please just… LEAVE ME ALONE!”
Should've they bring the Elements of Harmony just in case? After all they are dealing with Discord.
YES!!!!! You referenced half of Q's best scene ( only missing his band). Awesome chapter. One thing did bug me a bit; did you purposely put Celestia telling Discord to not interfere with the powers of Discord? If yes, then was that referencing the Continoeum and that more draconequus are at this place?
Okay. We know what Discord was doing for the last three months (playing matchmaker.) What I want to know is why? I have a feeling it will have to do with thier (in)ability to find the Gems of Passion. They won't be a cohesive unit, if there's strife between them.
And what is after Luna. I have a bad feeling about that.
is this before the crystal empire? because the crystal heart sounds similar to trotzamore...
2184621
No, that was just a mistake on my end. That's certainly an interesting theory, though. Now you've got me picturing a female Discord showing up saying, "And just what are you doing with that mule? ... I WASN'T TALKING ABOUT THE DONKEY."
I was tempted to reference the scene further by having Discord say to Celestia: "You weren't like that before the crown."
2184708
Yes, this story is set before The Crystal Empire. No relation to the Crystal Heart though.
...Though now that you mention it, that COULD be the Empire's link to the field of Trotzamore.
DAMN IT GUYS, STOP GIVING ME IDEAS.
2184726 HAHAHA, NEVER!!!!!!
img.pokemondb.net/artwork/palkia.jpg
That's my orb..
2184797
OH GOD, I NEVER EVEN MADE THAT CONNECTION.
Around her? I see a "Yo mama so fat" joke in there.
And here's one just so you guys can get a few lols outta dis srrs biznis.
Yo mama's so fat Naruto doesn't believe it.
Waiting for moar now.
Does Discord know about the thirteen gemstones of Passion? If Discord has been free for three months, wouldn't he have already acquired them?
Ciao darling
The only major consistence word error I see is that you spelt 'foul' and 'fowl'.
A fowl is a bird, I believe you meant to say 'foul'
Commence read.
Poor Luna at the end.
Seems like the hunt for the ancient artifacts of power, to open the gate to the land of mysterious power has begun.
2185822
CHOCOLATE RAIN IS SERIOUS BUSINESS.
2185982 Darn tootin.
This feels like the plot for a video game of sorts.
The description "HE'S BACK! Through an unexpected turn of events Discord has escaped from his stone prison and this time he's set his sights on the long forgotten land of Trotzamore the very heart of Equestria. To make matters worse Princess Luna has gone missing and Princess Celestia can't find her anywhere. Twilight and her friends are about to embark on their greatest adventure yet as they search for the 13 gemstones of passion in a race against the clock. But could the master of chaos have something else up his sleeve? Take control of Twilight, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Rarity. Each of them come with their own skills to solve various puzzles. You'll be amazed as you see Equestria brought to life in a breathtaking 3-D environment. Locate the gemstones and put a stop to Discord's evil plan. Feautring the same awesome voice actors and musical composers that brought the show to life. You'll want to play it again and again."
Thirteen gemstones. That's enough for a cake!
"around her" maybe?
A now frontier is it? Interesting. Also, will this be a final frontier?
You do not exchange "faces" of concern. That would require surgery. You exchange looks of concern.
Don't need that comma.
Extra quote.
I just LOVE how Gods always get mortals to do their dirty work for them And now they have to fight the God of Chaos and Disharmony....again You know what you should do?
Allow large, powerful and evil creatures to stand in their path for when they find one of the gems, after all...nothing is ever easy when finding something very old, right? Maybe even allow Spike to join them for once? Also, Discord has an eagle talon and lion paw, I would not call those hands, and I noticed a few more errors but nothing major.
Damn....I feel so bad for the Elements of Harmony, this is going to be so much fun though
Also, will the Elements of Disharmony be in this by any chance? You know sort of like a face your sins battle before they enter into the gates leading to the anchiet land?
Oh noes I bet that laugh is ms bug butt hehe.
Just a couple things I noticed. Good chapter.
2186113
I would play it. But to make the story complete the first 2 stories also need their own games, but those 2 are obiously less acton packed... And considering that Sweetie Belle and Spike also get some role in these shenanigans.
Clever that you would already reveal the identity of 1 of the gems in the first book. I take it the second one is the fire ruby shaped like a heart?
Thank you all for noticing my... surprisingly many mistakes. I'll get to correcting them later tonight.
All the more proof that I probably need to get someone else to proofread for me.
2186113
PRESS X TO SHIP.
2186532
We'll just have to wait and see, won't we?
2186631
...I'm gonna assume that's a nickname for Chrysalis, and not some ladybug super villain from a kids' cartoon.
2187939
I'm sorry, where did I reveal the first gem again?
2188692 Didn't sweetie belle give spike a sapphire in the sweetest gem? One she found deep in a cave, on a school trip.
CHICKENS WOULD RAIN FROM THE SKYYYYYY
This really does read like the plot for a video game. A... somewhat slapdash one at that. But I'll wait and see - you haven't disappointed before.
That sad awkward moment when you know exactly what discord has been doing for three months and know just how much trouble the main six will be in, but they have no clue, so you have to continue reading about their cluelessness until it's too late...:
2189024
Yeah, since I stared reading this I also thought that sweeties gem was going to be one of the passion stones. But, the fire ruby can't be. If you remember spike talked about making/growing it himself.
Oh dear celestia! We've got the elements of harmony and now the gemstones of passion, WHATS NEXT!!?! The Diamonds of sex?
3619834 sounds good, can i help find those?
The Gemstones of Passion will not be found, for they fused together and became Princess Cadance!
is the name trotzamore a reference to Trenzelore? Or is that just my Whoovian side doing some wishful thinking? Cuz that was the first thing that popped into my head.
5396350 I also thought that. Glad to know that I'm not the only one.
Redundance.
The proper plural of "Millennium" is "Millennia." It's a latin ending. When a word ends in "-um," you can almost guarantee the plural ends with "-a."
When suddenly, Crystal Heart.
"we're," not "wee're"
Now, normally I'm not a big stickler for sentence structure in dialogue (as it's a character speaking, so they might speak with improper grammar) but a comma and lowercase "a" in between "challenge" and "and" would be correct and produce the same results.
Whoo. That was a lot. Now onto the critic side.
A good chapter. You've built up the suspense very well here. Luna being missing is certainly concerning... at first I thought changelings, but I don't think so anymore.
I am genuinely curious where you are going with this.