• Published 29th Jan 2012
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Friendship is Witchcraft: User Guide and Manuals - Wilhelm



Friendship is Witchcraft manuals

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RARITY: USER GUIDE AND MANUAL (FIW)

RARITY: USER GUIDE AND MANUAL.

Good news everyone, you've just purchased a RARITY unit of your very own.
The RARITY units are not to be used by people under the age of 18, also refrain from setting off loud noises.
Failure to do so may result the lose of life or horrific injury.

Name: Rarity or Big sis.

Age: Unknown but the unit was old enough to serve in THE WAR.

Place of Manufacture: One of our many factories on the outskirts of Munich, but the unit believes itself to be from Ponyville.

Height: Larger then our APPLEBLOOM, SCOOTALOO and SWEETIEBOT units Same height as a real life pony.

Weight: Not as thin as she was during the war years.

Length: Longer than our SWEETIE BOT units but shorter than our TREE units.

Eye colour: Normaly blue but may possibly change when using contacts.

Your RARITY unit comes with the following accessories:

One(1) Self hugging sweater.

Six(6) Giant Hats.

One(1) Chest of war memories.

One(1) Old war hat.

One(1) Set of contacts.

One(1) metric ton of Smooze goo.

And if you have the FLUTTERSHY unit:

One(1) holy book of Lord Smooze.

One(1) Dead Racoon in a chest.

Programing.

Your RARITY unit is capable of doing the following:

Acting:
Have a long winded drama part to learn? Or maybe you want to put on an amateur production of Macbeth?
Well have no fear, you RARITY unit is able to play any role, any place, any time.
She can even act out Fanfics, if you know what I mean.

Spying:
Need some infomation?, maybe a bank code, or maybe the password to the accounts of the Hasbro brass in-charge of names and political correctness?
Normaly you would need years of training and complex programs but not with our RARITY units.
Due to our programing, our RARITY units are heavily skilled espionage and are able to hack any code and using her special 'talents' can get any infomation.
Just give her an order and the infomation is as good as yours.
*Note, we are not responsible for any witchtrails or lychings that take place due to the use of stolen infomation.

Creating hats:
Have you ever been about to run a marathon or maybe about to have a conference with the head a Hasbro, and you've noticed that your outfit is missing something?
And then you realise what, a giant hat!
Well have no fear, our RARITY units are capable of creating stylish hats out of anything, from a pair of curtains, to your tears, anything can be a hat.


Removal of your RARITY unit from it's packaging
Unlike it's sister the RARITY units can have a temper, So to ensure that you don't become a toaster cosy, please follow the methords below.

1. Drop a giant hat, in front of the units packaging, the RARITY units can not stand hats getting dirty and will burst out to save the said hat. If the hat gets dirty then the unit may enter Depressed mode.

2.Play a large amount of loud battlefield music,(eg:Machine gun fire, explosions, shouts in angry german.)
This will cause your RARITY units to enter Flashback mode, to remove this, please look at relevent infomation below.
*Note:Their is a 78.54% chance that the unit will instead enter SHELL SHOCKED mode, to change this, see the infomation below. So this is not recommended.

3.If You bought our one of our SWEETIE BOT units then place the SWEETIE BOT unit in front of the RARITY units packaging and tell her that her sister is inside, this will cause the SWEETIE BOT unit to start to sing and shout,""I LOVE YOU.". This will cause the RARITY units to exit her packaging in order to see what her sister is doing.
If you do not own a SWEETIE BOT unit then you could try imitating the SWEETIE BOT unit, but be warned, this may cause your RARITY unit to identify you as her sister and surgically and mentally alter you to be what she thinks is normal.
This will lead to you be turned into a small female unicorn and the physiological programing that she will undertake will cause you to lose all free will as the SWEETIE BOT personality takes over.
So yeah, don't try it, we lost a lot of pre-testers that way, had to be put down, the lot of them but alwell, I'm sure that it improved science... somehow.

4. If you purchased a FLUTTERSHY, (not the normal version) then place her infront of your RARITY unit's packaging, the mere presence of the head of the cult will cause your RARITY unit to burst out and start worshipping you FLUTTERSHY unit, if you do not own a FLUTTERSHY unit and try this, the the results will be much the same as the method above, just replace small female unicorn with female adult pegasus and SWEETIE BOT with FLUTTERSHY.

Reprogramming

After unpacking your RARITY unit you can reprogram her into any of the following modes:

Ignorant (Default)

Religious(Default)

Loving sister

Depressed

Flashback

Shellshocked

Homicidal maniac (Locked)

Your RARITY unit comes in both Ignorant and Religous modes as default, in these modes she will ignore you most of the time, to attend to her own needs,(mainly creating a large amount of shines to Lord Smooze) once this are done she may pay attention to you. If you are were to help her in these endeavours then she may enter Loving sister mode where she will; play games with you, help you with homework and protect you from harm.
*Note, making her think that you are SWEETIE BOT will also cause her to enter Loving sister mode but it is not recommended due to the results shown earlier.

Depressed mode is activated by rejecting the unit when she is in Loving sister mode or if you run out of Smooze goo.
In this mode the unit will face the floor and cry nonestop while muttering I'm sorry, the only cure for this is to hug her untill she feels better.
The unit will also enter this mode on Veterans day, expect then she will be much worse.

Flashback mode is entered by using method two to get your unit out of its packaging. In this mode your unit will regain access of all locked files from THE WAR.
This will ethier cause her to enter Depressed mode, Shellshocked mode or Homicidal maniac mode.
In Shellshocked mode your unit will lay in the foetal position while crying and will flinch at any loud noises, exercise extreme caution when she is in this mode, there is no cure except for a full memory wipe.

If you leave your unit in Shellshocked mode then she may enter Homicidal maniac mode, it which case she will start to kill indiscriminately, for her interneal clock would have reset it's self back to the time when she was in THE WAR.
If this occurs, well... tell her to stay out of the fatherland otherwise she's is dead, unfortunately our protective security teams are only allowed to be used in Germany, so if your not here... well to quote Zecora "Your doomed."

Relationships with Other Units.

SWEETIE BOT
This is your units sister and will treat her accordingly, though they may not always see eye to eye, they will make up eventually.

FLUTTERSHY
Your unit is part of the cult that FLUTTERSHY leads, and thus she will follow she anywhere.

APPLEJACK
Fellow verteran of THE WAR but you RARITY unit does not trust the APPLEJACK units for been a 'war criminal.'

Cleaning
Unlike the SWEETIE BOT units, this unit is covered with realistic fur and thus will need to be washed once a day, you can wash her but you should probaly ask her first.

Rest
Your unit has a realistic sleep cycle and thus requires 8 hours of sleep.

Power source
Your unit is powered by a small nuclear fusion reactor that will keep her going for over 9000 years, as do all our models.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q. Why is my RARITY unit just sat there staring at me lustfully?

A. Run, she's in heat, don't wonder how, just run.

Q. Help my unit is trying to kill me, what do I do?

A. Head for Berlin.

Troubleshooting
Problem: Instead of a RARITY unit, I recieved a colt.

Solution: You seemed to have recieved a male of our RARITY unit, please contact our main office to request a refund or exchange for a proper model.

Problem: My unit went to pray with the FLUTTERSHSY unit now they keep looking at me with a glint in their eye's.

Solution: Run, get to Germany as fast as possible.

Problem: My unit keeps trying to hump me, what do I do?

Solution: This is a problem?

End Notes:
Please take good care of your new found friend for life.
Credit for original idea goes to Timpeni.
Enjoy.

Comments ( 18 )

Fluttershy and Rarity looking at me lustfully, yes my dreams has been answered. :yay:

Shut up and take my money!

I am somewhat concerned by both Wilhelm's and TenshuraX's mental health. I think it might be time to leave this dimension. DOC! Get the TARDIS we are leaving!

So what happens if you put two sets of the CMC in a room? Do they assume that one or the other are clones, or magical dopplegangers, or do the Sweetie Bots get into a discussion and theorize on it for the next two days?

Since the Anonymous Comments are disabled, ApplejackDaniel's has registered and is now known as Jolly Roger. I would like to ask a few things:
1 Can you give us a closer information about the factory?
2 If I can't make it to Berlin on time, does München (Munich for the Non-germanes) work, too?
3 My APPLEJACK-Unit has been trying to get me on the throne of Bavaria. I don't say I don't like it, but it seems strange. Any suggestions?

385515
1)Nope
2)It depends on how far your unit has gone.
3)We do not yet sell APPLEJACK Units, nor does our sister company and thus we can't help you here.

How much ? Is it possible to get sweetiebell model in rarity body along with heat and lust? There seems to be quite some problems with upkeep of this model.

440669
Not yet.
But there will be.
One day...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. Do not die from awesome.

I need more fluffy pony. It is cute.

hello? I accidentally left my APPLEJACK and RARITY units together and now they are in an infinite loop argument about the war. Their reset buttons arent working.

Umm My Units Are Burning Each Other With Flamethrowers What Should In Do :pinkiegasp: Oh No Now There Looking At Me What Should I Do

Comment posted by BronyBlast9000 deleted Nov 9th, 2013

I asked Sweetie Bot what she would do if she was a robot, and she went into Destroyer of Worlds Mode. So I just said that was the coolest plan ever and she went into Philosiphy mode for some reason. How can I get her back to normal size?

I'm se may I do a story with side character units

:applejackunsure: Good golly, there's more typos in here than I could shake a rattlesnake at. Yer humor's just tryin' too hard. Yet somehow, somewhere, someone found it funny enough to advertise, so there's that I guess. Still, what a letdown.

I would like one RARITY unit and one SWEETIEBOT unit please. Also, the manual for the SWEETIEBOT unit said

Then input the following code :*Codes cost extra.

I was wondering how much extra.

I would like to purchase a PINKIE PIE model please.

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