[Second Person Perspective] [Collaboration between Kody910 and Whirring Gears]
Bowling may not be your strong suit, but the Ponyville Bowling League is a chance to hang out with friends every Saturday. Especially Allie Way, who is right at home among the pins and bowling balls.
However, when things are said between all the noise of competition, blow hards, and rising tensions, what will this mean for you and your teammates?
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Artwork courtesy of Jessy Ruiz of deviantArt. Go support him!
Two great authors, twice the awesome and main characters I've never read before! I can tell I'm in for a treat with this one. Tracking for later, I'll edit this after I read
A promising start! I can't say I'm too crazy about the choice in antagonist though. A bully who likes to put people down for his own amusement? He just seems kinda... boring, at least at this point. Just a first impression, of course; for all I know, he could become a lot more complex in the coming chapters.
I do like that nice and fluent dance between slice-of-life and comedy you've got going on here. I did get a few chuckles by the end and that's more than enough reason to convince me to come back for more.
Everyone is in for a treat with this story.
WG?
2167155 Whirring Gears. He's a WONDERFUL 2nd person author (though he's been a bit quiet of late). Go read his fic "Number One"; I guarantee you won't regret it, if you like Kody's works.
Aaaaannddd Wonderful start. As expected. Keep it up!
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Oh. That guy!
OH!
I was just confused.
The potential is overwhelming.
Am I the only one getting a strong "Number One" feel from this?
Because I like it, I like it a lot.
Carry On
I don't think I've seen Allie way fic before, carry on good sirs.
wheres lebowski?
My initial reaction when I saw Kody910 and Whirring Gears together.
And then after I woke up, my next reaction was-
It is a good day to be a brony.
Allie needs more attention from artists and writers.
Tall, lanky girls have a special cuteness all their own.
(incidentally, Lauren Faust remarked that she modeled Donna in Super Best Friends Forever on her own awkward gangliness in highschool)
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Also, in spite of all the "Supergirl is chubby" comments people make, I remember reading that Lauren explained that she modeled her on highschool girl's soccer teams. They tend to have thick, powerful trunks.
This character had a name?
That revelation alone makes me want to follow this.
ah sweet a big lebowski cutie mark
Awesome. I was actually in a bowling league for awhile so this caught my attention. By the way, the title is soo true.
Still a better bowler than I am in reality! I like bowling a lot, but I just enjoy some things more.
Bowling Pony Fanfic? FEATURED? Instant favorite, will get to reading immediately.
If you can't tell... I spend a lot of time bowling. It's a huge hobby for me. Really looking forward to this.
The only downside to this fic? I'm actually a pretty good bowler. Both my grandfather and uncle are really good, and my uncle was even semi-pro. (Not sure exactly to what extent, but he's bowled multiple 300 games before.)
Oh well. I'll just pretend I'm using my off-hoof.
Oh, yes, I will read this, despite my dislike of 2nd person (the fact it's rated Everyone and clearly not a self-insert sex/wish fulfillment fic helps). One of my favorite backgrounders.
But one thing. One, tiny, little, immensely cringe inducing thing.
It's Alley Way. Y'know, as in bowling alley?
You'll get more of an in depth critique when I read it. Also added to the Collab Cage, since collab, heh.
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While that term may be correct, our impression is that her fan-given name is Allie. Thus, we're sticking with it.
I like this story, gonna keep my eyes on this one, but I have to point out on teensy little thing(it will bug me if I don't say it)*deep breath* Ponies dont wear bowling shoes.
NEED MOAR D:
When can we expect the next chapter?
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It's coming. Honestly, Kody and I have been a bit distracted, mostly with personal projects. When our conversations come back to this, it's usually to try and hammer out a few details one or both of us are unsure about.
It's a process, but we hope it makes an entertaining story in the end.
*Sighs* Whai I suck so much?! Curse me! ; ;
Woo! Another chapter!
Cue the 1980s training montage!
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Let's do this.
I'm more of a Mortal Kombat player.
Almighty Malachai is prepared.
2253765 Loved that movie.
P.S- excellent chapter Kody and Whirring!
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I see a great third chapter coming!
If it were me, I'd get Allie to agree to vote for me if we did end up losing. That way I'd know that even if we lost at least she won't get kicked out. That'd take a lot of pressure of me. Also, what happens with the team? Are they allowed to replace thier lost member? or do they have to go on with just three somehow?
For once, I don't have to be told I'm out of my element.
I think, We're Gonna Need a Montage.
Carry On
First off, I love this idea for a story and Allie is just the right mix of spunky and adorable. You've got me till the end~
I'm kind of bored by the reader's character, though. He's sort of flat and... I dunno. Dull, a bit. I feel like he could use some kind of character flaw besides that he sucks at bowling. Something to make the play between him and Allie a little less one-sided. Not sure what she'd see in him right now, as it is.
Also would be cool hearing a couple of the ways ponies get around not having fingers with which to hold the ball. I remember sweetie bell used her mouth, and scoots stone cold bucked it down the alley - stuff like that was sort of fun.
That said, enjoying this so far
When will the romance kick in? That's the best part.
This is fantastic.
Wait, you misspelled Ameri- oh.
Update? Plz?
Why no updates?
IT LIIIIVES!
This story is still alive? BUCK. YES.
I SAID WHAT?!
Me and my big mouth...
An update? Jeez, been awhile.
YEAH!
"I" really need to learn how to keep my thoughts to myself
Outstanding effort! Please, continue.
I really love the back-and-forth Allie and I have going. It keeps the dialogue fresh and a nice blended mix between adorable and awkward //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Pinkie_Pie_lolface.png
Very glad to see an update for this! As usual, your writing styles don't disappoint.
Have a great day!
I love the flank grabbing part.. XD
I seem to have put my hoof in my mouth in the best possible way.
Keep the gears whirring, and the... 910s... kody-ing?Never mind.... Nothing to see here. Move along.
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