• Published 23rd Feb 2013
  • 3,104 Views, 8 Comments

Feeding Darkness - Toraka



My name is Twilight Sparkle, I think. I'm surrounded by ponies who say things I don't understand. I don't seem to be able to move. And I can't tell them that. I may have a slight problem.

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The Dawn

I wake up after yet another dip into the endless darkness. There's a lot of white around and the light is blinding me until my eyes adjust. I sit up and look around. Then, suddenly, a gasp from the side takes my attention. I look over and see one pony, the unicorn from before. Behind her, black fills out the windows. Darkness has come. It must be night, yet I feel more awake than ever. As I try to ask her what's going on, all that results is a meaningless blurb, but it's something. She races to my side. I finally understand. I'm back. No more time to sleep.

Comments ( 7 )

So, she was in a coma?

Yeah, I'm guessing coma. Well written, but it would still be nice if we had a better grasp of what was going on.

2172885 Sometimes effect is generated by implications, even if the rabble may not catch on.
In your defense, 's not like I explicitly confirmed that or linked a story in which the same stuff happens and which pretty much spells out that she's comatose.

2174402
I mean like after. The second chapter was awful short, a few more reactions wouldn't have gone remiss.

2175348 That's because it's a second ending, tacked on to satisfy all needs. Maybe even copypasted out of one of my other works, who would know.
Surely I could have made it faff around endlessly like the plague of Twicoma fics its predecessor was made to mimock, but what for? It's a oneshot, a thought experiment, giving it too much effort would only allow it to grow beyond what it is to be. I meant to analyse the basics of what a mind goes through in a vegetable state, with a bit of magic to keep it sensible, and how terrible realising what you truly are can become.

I just got into the habit of adding on secondary endings because some people won't be content with what fits :trixieshiftleft:

Pretty good, once again.:twilightsmile:
Short, yet powerful enough to convey the misery of being stuck in the land of dreams.:fluttershysad:
Excellent work, dear Author.:pinkiesmile:

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