The rain had slashed at the windows for a long time before Twilight had noticed it. With a tear-stained muzzle, she looked up from the floor of the library, up to the largest window, past her bed...
...and past the small bed of her assistant.
Her head lowered back to the floor, and she resumed her crying.
Side characters include Applejack, Fluttershy, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Celestia, and Luna
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** This story was written when I was 14, and the quality and content reflect that. Please be aware that my position on topics contained within may have changed in the time between publishing and now, and I apologize for any offensive material that I may have condoned in my younger years. **
Chapters (2)
Hm. There aren't so many in which Twilight dies. I'm enjoying this one already. Definitely tracking.
Aaaaaannnnnnnndddddddddd!
Now I'm sad...
cool shit
191343
I feel you, bro.
This was brilliantly written and a heartwrenching sad-fic. I'm tracking because I am now emotionally invested in this, something that I find rarely happens. I don't need to see other chapters; if you keep writing chapters of this caliber I know this is a five star fanfiction.
I hope you get featured for this, this is an excellent tale.
NNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! . . . . . . . . . . . . . *sob*
Wait, is there going to be more chapters? This is labeled as incomplete... I know it's stupid of me, but I still hope for a happy ending... I can hope...
*sniff* Wow, sad...
Emotions? None. Call me cold-hearted, but it's just not that sad of a story. I liked the writing though, but it just wasn't very compelling to me.
4.5/5
*cries*
You bastard...*tracks*
I liked it. 4.5/5
skimmed through some of Spike's initial parts, but *shrugs*
Epilogue complete and story finished. Thanks for reading, everyone.
I just can't get my head around the idea that her friends would go for a month and a half without checking in on her... especially if they knew Spike had left.
already
" man i could i do nothing" George Lopez quote lol
well awesome story will save for future reference and when i get depressed
and also spike was cool in the end scratched of celestias name awesome bro
Finished huh, pity . . . this story has the potential to go further.
But as it stands right now . . . not a bad job. I doubt that Celestia would be so cold about her student's death however.
191885
Try living more than a thousand years and see how you feel about emotions. Chances are she's had hundreds of pupils by now.
Anyways, brilliant finish to the story, was a good read.
Okay...Review Time.
I'm not good at these, but this story interested me somehow.
Very interesting characterizations.
The plot was instantly depressing, with the suicidal thoughts of Twi in her final moments and Spike's sadness after the fact, Luna's rebelling against her sister, and the all around dark tone gave me a 'it's raining outside' feeling.
Celestia's response was actually almost how I expected. My thought was that she would react that way at first. Then near the end, mourn in secrecy, showing that besides the fact that after a thousand years and many students, Twilight was like a daughter to her.
Spike's reaction was surprisingly calm. I would have at least spit fire at Celestia, but it's good to see him keep his cool.
Luna deserves the right to be angry with her sister, after all, Twilight was the one who saved her from her Nightmare Moon form. And the fact that Celestia wasn't sorry for sending her to the moon broke my heart.
The writing was almost poetic and neat. I hope to match such a way.
Overall=5 stars, Favorited, and a heart
Hope this meant something.
Holy shit that is sad, ive been looking for a fic like this for a long time 5/5
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I really appreciate all the feedback, criticism - which there wasn't much of - and requests of continuation. I really enjoy writing stories outside of school, and it makes me happy knowing my work is appreciated. Thank you, TotalLostCause, for your review. I hope to have more stories up like this in a while, as All We Have got similar replies. I just want you to know that I read all of these comments, and squeeed a little inside whenever I got a favorite or a track.
Thank you to everyone for your support.
~Ice
197148 Well if it's criticism you're looking for I'll be more than happy to help you out.
198719
I wasn't requesting any, just letting everyone know that even the low points are appreciated.
Buck Celestia, not caring and then acting like she did, good job Spike
192748
wait so you have lived for a thousand years?
784100
It's supposed to be a secret. Shhhhhhh!
787137
your secrets safe with me....maybe
And then Discord said, "F*ck, this world is boring", and he brought Twilight back just for fun.
No.
Just.
No.
Five weeks? Five. Weeks. And no one checked up on her? Not. ONE. OF. HER. FRIENDS. CHECKED?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
BULLSHIT!
And that's ingoring how you DESTROYED Celesita by portraying her as nothing more than COLD, MERCYLESS BITCH instead of the loving, belovenant ruler and personal teacher of Twilight Sparkle! SHE WOULD CARE. SHE WOULD KNOW WHEN THE MESSAGES ARE SENT, WHEN THEY STOP AND WOULD CHECK ON HER FAITHFUL STUDENT
2436009
She was told to only sent one when she learned something about friendship. Her friends probably thought she was on a studying binge - wouldn't be too unlike her - and Princess Celestia's lived for how many years?
If you lost everyone you loved, hundreds of times over, would you let yourself be hurt that easily?
2436950
He's got a point. Just admit it you wanted to write a sadfic without really caring about how plausible it was.
Which is a problem. Writing sadfics featuring existing characters is almost cheating, since the reader is approaching the story with an attachment already formed without you even trying at all. But you STILL have to keep the aforementioned character acting at least remotely in character and have a grip on the story mechanics in order to elicit the desired emotional response.
You failed pretty hard at both, so unless the reader has absolutely no standards whatsoever, the strongest emotion they'll experience throughout the fic is amusement over the wooden dialogues or vague second-hand embarrassment over the spastic excuse for a plot.
3778405
You say that working with existing characters is cheating, but almost every OC story goes ignored because it isn't with the characters everyone knows. And also, I'm glad you took the time to read, tear apart and generally shit upon a story that's nearly two years old and nowhere near my top stories.
Congrats on dissing a story I wrote when I first joined FIMfic.
You really are... The 2436009
3783225
You're welcome.
Nooo...
...but I refuse to accept that Celestia felt nothing over banishing her sister. No.
Arrgh. I mean... It was sad... And... And well-written in language and sentence structure, I think... But... Celestia is not cruel!!! I'm sorry, but I don't like her being portrayed as a heartless monster!
6323323
My characterization skills and the level of characterization in the show itself now is much different than it was three and a half years ago.
6323332 I definitely agree as someone who's just finished going through all of your stories
... pleease continue Forces of Nature!!! Please? 
#Feels
I don't get it, why couldn't Twilight just visit spike or him visit her or something?
Blind.