Rainbow Dash's signature move doesn't work so well when she tries it amongst the Apple Family's orchard and hurts herself badly, with Applejack and Applebloom away in Appleoosa and the town Nurse away at a convention who will Big Mac turn to to help him care for the wounded pegasus?
Ah am looking for anyone with experience to review this and point out any obvious flaws with the spelling. grammar or story! So help me if y'all can!
Cover pic was graciously provided by the wonderful 0r0ch1, who can be found on his furaffinity site here:http://www.furaffinity.net/user/shin0r0z/
Chapters (6)
♫♥I look forward to reading what happens next in your story♥♪
4756 Expect many things and others besides. Thanks for the comment btw, it is always refreshing for the people who view the stories to comment on them, even if it is harsh critisism....not that yours is. And so i thank you from the bottom of my heart!
me gusta
Did notice a few small errors, but nothing serious.
But poor Rainbow...
You better get to work in the rest of this. And don't you DARE let RD die!
7311
, and i am working on another Fic at the same time so this one will be updated when i have time. The second chapter in already underway so don't worry too much!
Can't garentee RD will make it out unscathed tho
yeah Uni is kinda limiting my Time to do pony related stuff
I hope this story hasn't been sidelined on account of atomic rainboom. I'm hoping to read more of it!
Nope, this story got sidelined for a bit because of Uni commitments
, I will be finished the Second chapter when i have time.
I am about 500 words into the second chapter already but have re-written it about 5-6 times because i keep realising improvements i could make to it.... Curse you Hindsight!
Well, I'll say this. You have a penchant for description of environment...and backstory. I'm liking this story so far. Keep up the good work.
I can't wait to see how Rainbow makes it through the night. Maybe there will be a midnight emergency to make everypony panic and concerned. I tend to like intensity.
very nice so far but please please don't kill off rainbow she's my favorite pony out everypony out there.
fantastic
yay you up dated its been awhile but you got it here yay
Blame Uni for any and all Work related lack of updatesjavascript:smilie('
');, they should be more forthcoming now that i have finished for the next 4 months! Hells yeah!javascript:smilie('
');
I just found this story and so far I like it!
When do you think the next part will be available? I'll be tracking just to make sure I don't miss it
geez,
mr.big mac attack,name your chapters!
MOAR
"Your First-Aid skills can't repair injuries of THIS magnitude!" - Admiral Ackbar
33090 Bite me
33092 *Facehoof* WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT!
33097
Because you said 'injuries of this magnitude' in the first chapter and it reminded me of the Admiral Ackbar Cereal thing. Duh...
Very good chapter! I will be waiting impatiently for MOAR!
33104 Oh
gues i should read my own stories more then huh?
ya probably looks like you rushed it slightly becouse some of your letters where mixed up and some other things good story tho im enjoying it very much.
♫♥I look forward to reading what happens next in your story♥♪
its quite good so far,
.
33606 Well hello again! You I have not seen for quite a while! How are things going on your end?
33625 I'm sorry, but it's hard to take you seriously with a cute avatar like that.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
BIG MAC!!!!!!!
Eagerly waiting for more.
Well that was interesting. Also why doesn't Big Macintosh remember Twilight? just curious.
"If. You. Ever, EVER. Do anything to hurt her. I WILL find you. And neither you, Applejack or Celestia will stop me. Understand?" The look in her eyes was promise enough of the results of her threats should he come ever harm Fluttershy.
YES!
I hate the cliffhangers! The story is so well written that it will make the wait VERY difficult... M O A R !!!!
40742 One: Dude stays on the farm most of the time, Two: when has he really ever had any interaction with her? Three: its a good plot device.
love it
When you said that everything for Big Mac turned black and white I thought of how you die in GTA.
WASTED
41062 HAHAHAHAHAHA!
I c what u did thar!
Mach 10, seriously? you're one of those people? Either way, Nicely done!
41746 what? Haven't you seen the physics video?
I liked this chapter
I'm still wondering over what I should think about shipping but after reading so many of them, I guess they are pretty good ;).
Now let's hope rainbow recovers
Work on capitalization.
44729 What in particular did you notice?
♫♥I look forward to reading what happens next in your story♥♪
44953 Looking forward to reading your comment on the next story.
That is an absolutely adorable mental image! I love the idea of Big Macintosh's back being broad enough to support a curled up Futtershy. I can't wait for Rainbow to recover, especially with Applejack's reaction.
45465 Ah that will truly be fun to write I assure you.
45465 Actually that gives me an idea for a sketch.
Might follow up on that soon.
i like it more
:( The Dragon caused a great gout of fame! Fluttershy needs no Dragon to help with her fame!
66550 Fixed, thanks for that!
This is why i always ask people to proofread the works before they go up, shame it doesn't pick up everything. Looks like i will have to have a chat to the editor
77430 You're welcome ^^ It's a small thing to notice, i am just in general fairly observant when spotting errors ^^ I really liked the story and look forward to reading future pieces of fiction from you!
77437 Well please continue doing so!
On the other hand your observation pointed out to me that the editor i had has been basically giving me the finger by incorrectly editing several things that i sent his way
A fact that he was happy to point out to me just now.
So i am on the look for a new one.
77445 Ugh. That is so vile. I hope you promptly hoofed him in the stomach and sent him trotting on his way. Feel free to poke me anytime if you want me to give some works a quick scan ^^ I'll be more than happy to do a bit of proof reading if i have the time.
77448 Really? That's awfully kind of you.
Actually...you could help me a little right now.
The next chapter hasn't been edited yet...Wanna do it?