• Member Since 11th Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen Nov 5th, 2023

Bork42


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This is a very short piece in three even shorter acts, each in a different style. Luna has a problem, so what does she do? Go to the one pony who has always saved her, of course.

Contains TwiLuna romance and segues from minor angst into comedy. Safe for work.

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 22 )

hmm short sweet 2 chapters of TwiLuna goodness and then a 3rd Chapter I can't place, like what happened with the TwiLuna.

overall I like TwiLuna approved.

I'll make a full statement later since I have to go but know that I liked it!:eeyup:

This... is quite good^^ Best fic/chap in... whatever that old english is called^^; *goes to read the next chap*

LOL! Trolled by Twilight Sparkle! Luna, I thought with a sister like Celestia you would notice when you're trolled^^

I'm with justwannaread on this one. Where does the 3rd chap fit in? Nonetheless, great fic^^

2157626
Same here for me, there is something missing between C 2 / C 3 to bring this two together, and something at the end of C 3 to end this Story.
Well you could say that you have started two story at the same time, first the TwiLuna *which is quiet nice and a little bit wired for me because Luna get school from Twilight how to Love her..* Well Ok I could imagine that Twilight would do this.. :twilightblush: (Nice Troll)

And than a Letter conversation between Twilight an Celestia which refers about Pinkie Pie’s, well Chaotic nature and Twilights worries/thoughts about it. ... ok:twilightoops::pinkiecrazy: (this dosen't fit in there for me, without a transition to this chapter)
I would like to see a response from Celetsia about this mater.
Ok your mention Lunas visiting yesterday in the Letter but this could also be totally out of another story.

My Opinion:
I would suggest that you split this two because both of them would be a good and interesting Storyies.
The Twiluna doesn’t need anything more if you separate it from your C 3
But your Letter needs another Chapter.


For the first time not bad.

For Grama and Errors ask sompony else.

Oh and btw I totally like your Style of the First chapter (Old English speaking Luna is best Luna)

This is just my opinion.

justwannaread, Mr.Market, KibaWR, and Raitythunder, thank you all for being kind to me. *bows*

2157626>>2157896>>2157906
As far as the third chapter not fitting in, I thought that it would be amusing to show Twilight dropping hints to Princess Celestia about what was happening while talking about something completely unrelated. I guess it must not come across though.

This is what happens when you try to do your own editing. :derpytongue2:

Regardless, the story is complete and will not be changed or added to beyond correcting typographical or grammatical errors. We all must live with what we have done.

2157960
Only the following line did indicate to me that Luna made a succesful approch on Twilight and Twilight accepted or is about to accept the confession.
"Yesterday, your sister Luna came to visit me and ask my advice about something. I believe I was able to help, and I’m happy to report that I think she has an excellent chance of success now!"

But then it all gone :pinkiecrazy: talk and I was a bit lost.

2157960 ahh I see^^ great idea^^

This was a cute chapter. I liked how Twilight was teaching about how to woo herself :rainbowlaugh:

Now have Twilight and Luna accidentally reveal their budding relationship to Celestia in a somewhat embarrassing manner! :pinkiehappy:

You can never have enough TwiLuna! This little piece has me itching to add chapters to my own ongoing TwiLuna story.

Luna's dialogue in chapter 1 was spot-on without being overdramatically Shakespearean, while Twilight's lesson in chapter 2 was both perfectly in character and worth a good laugh. The letter about Pinkie almost threw me; I had to re-read it to make sure it was in continuity with the others. Maybe it could have done with dropping a hint or two more about the "help" Twilight gave Luna.

Thumbs up and a gold star for you. Keep it coming!

2160330
I've been pretty well convinced at this point that chapter 3 should have been written completely differently, if at all. I think I got way too excited about the phrase "a shard of primordial chaos from beyond the Celestial Spheres, ensconced in neon pink flesh" and let it overrun the entire letter.

“Whenever you feel an impulse to perpetrate a piece of exceptionally fine writing, obey it – whole-heartedly – and delete it before sending your manuscripts to press. Murder your darlings."

Also, I'm a huge fan of yours, so I'm holding in such a "squee" right now.

I like it. It starts with Twiluna then rambles a bit about Pinkie (possibly a distraction for Celestia's sake) then goes back to Twiluna with the last line about Twilight being happy after her conversation with Luna.
Oh, Twilight is an Awesome Troll (albeit a nice one) ... :twilightsmile:

2163099
I like to think she's playful. :twilightblush:

Thank you for your kind words.

this is awesome, A little short but awesome none the less.

For a moment i was unsure what was going on until I reached the end. LOL, nicely done.

meh... 3rd chapter kinda ruined this one for me...

This was pure win. What makes it so amazing is that Twilight could actually react like that.

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