Looks to be a nice start, first I read of The princess wanting to met the MC right in the Human world before the choice, let the adventures Begin!

finally got to this after its been sitting in my read later list. and I regret it so much. sure there are some grammar mistakes, but nothing to be a stickler about. I still understood what you meant to say. the beginning wasn't rushed. but overall, its uncanny how much I can relate to this. A love for EDM and vinyl, and cynicism towards all reality. I'm not in college yet and I actually love psych, but I love how this character fits me. after that last paragraph I can tell where this is going. its like you're writing my dream. thank you for this, really. now hopefully I can get some more chapters in before I pass out.

Why is it that this is kinda similar to me? ._. Dayum

Did i even eat anything for breakfast this morning?

lollololololololololololololololololololololololololol

Nyrrrrgh. This is just over my threshold for grammar nazi-ing. It's the subtle things...

First of all, when you use the letter I by itself, ala "Me, Myself, and I." Capitalize it. Every time.

Second, you've got some Wall 'O Text issues. There is no minimum paragraph length. If it covers more than three quarters of your screen (maybe even half) at a reasonable font size, find a good spot (end of one idea, start of another) and split the thing.

I apologize if this was pointed out and fixed in later chapters, but I didn't see any comments on it here, so my inner grammar nazi forced me to speak up. Everything else looks good so far.

I'm only at the second sentence and I noticed you used the word bed three times in there. it was only a slight annoyance, however, and I will continue reading now and pretend like I don't care about the second sentence.

Wow... wall of text much?

Also, since "we" are a virgin, if you describe the first time he's had sex as anything but awkward, I'm calling your bluff.

3782935 Hey, walls are sturdy

interesting

Is it weird that all I think while im reading this thing is that the main character sounds exactly like me?

You differentiated dubstep and Skrillex, I'm happy.

this is officially my new favourite clopping story have been reading it and so far i love it this is literally my fantastic

3797610 not at all man

The main character sounds like me XD

gifrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/Leonardo-DiCaprio-Django-Unchained-You-Had-my-Curiosity.gif

this guy is like me

I'm gonna love reading this fic!
Let's begin the adventure!

If it keeps as it's going it will be the second story where we are the mc that I have fav/followed here's hoping as vinyl is one of my fav backgrounds right next to random guard 43.(you know the one)

AAAAAH! WALL OF TEXT!

So far so good! If this is how the whole thing is written then i'm gonna have a grand old time reading this

Wonderful... But I could not help but notice that you do not capitalize your I's

ohh mah lawd that wall of text! OWWWWW!!! MY FUCKING BRAIN!!!!

4674664
I know of a poet or two who doesn't, and we don't capitalize "He", "She" and "We" anymore- they were capitalized all the time a long time ago. I personally think that "I" capitalized is no longer needed.

Holy wall-o'-text, Batman!

This will be fun.

5342831 why is it that you comment on almost every story I read?

It was indeed a bit too rush. The content was alright but even if his care free he shouldn't believe it is her so easily.

You don't smoke often, maybe once or twice a day, but not to the point to which it would become an addiction.

Mate, smoking twice a month is enough to develop cravings and a nicotine dependence.

The morning seemed like any other morning. You wake up in your bed feeling groggy and lazy, but the harsh rays of sunlight coming in from the window directly facing you start hitting your eyes, eventually annoying you enough to get up. If it weren't for the sun's rays, the crisp cool morning breeze and birds' sweet singing would've been enough to put you back to sleep.

(New paragraph) "Damn curtains..." you think out loud as you set a mental note to close them tight tonight so this won't happen again, although you subconsciously know that you'll forget anyway, as you always do. At least you woke up on time for class, which frankly doesn't happen very often. You debate mentally with yourself whether or not to just skip morning classes today and sleep in, but your more productive side eventually wins out and you throw off your pajamas and pull on a pullover sweatshirt and get ready for the day.

(New paragraph) "Nothing seems to be out of place" you think to yourself, not aloud this time, as you mentally check your appearance. Then it dawned on you that in your rush to get out of bed you forgot to fix your hair, which really didn't bother you at all, you're just thankful that it wasn't anything worse.

"Did I even eat anything for breakfast this morning?"

You initially want to just forget the whole thing...but you cant. What if this is the real deal? What would I be missing if I chose not to go meet whoever this was?

Just wanted to get the prologue out of the way so I can focus on the better things to come.