Timed Ramblings

by Midnight herald

Spineless

Fluttershy should have seen the signs earlier: a special pet name, the way Pinkie treated her gentler than anypony else, the extra strawberries that Pinkie left on her plate at picnics. The party continued on in the next room over, with the normal mix of lively music going, with laughter and shrieking foals leaking through the closet door. But Pinkie’s face was terrifyingly earnest, more serious than Fluttershy had seen it in a long while, her bright, intelligent eyes sparkling in the dim secondhand light. Fluttershy should have known this was coming, should have prepared. But her thoughts ran circles around themselves, ending up in a tangled, confusing pile of worry and shame.

“I’m sorry, Pinkie, could you repeat that?” she managed. Anything for a few more seconds to sort things out.

Pinkie took a shaky breath and her smile sagged a bit at the corners. “Fluttershy, I think I love you as more than a friend,” she said, her eyes drilling into Fluttershy’s, so intense it hurt to look at. Fluttershy shuffled into a pile of neatly folded linens and tried her best not to hide in her mane.

“Um... that’s very flattering, Pinkie,” she mumbled. “I really don’t know what to say...”

Pinkie deflated even more, scuffing at the tiles and sighing, suddenly seeming much, much more tired. Fluttershy cringed and made a move to comfort her as per usual, before deciding at the last moment that a wing-hug would send mixed signals. Would be too intimate. So she settled for patting Pinkie’s shoulder gently with a hoof. “Promise me you’ll think about it?” Pinkie looked up, with hope shining brightly in her beautiful eyes.

Fluttershy went through the motions; crossing, flapping, covering an eye. “Pinkie Promise,” she murmured, rubbing at Pinkie’s shoulder again. Pinkie smiled, a watery, wavering thing. It fluttered around the edges like a lost baby bird, and Fluttershy’s chest seized up.

“Better than a no, I guess,” Pinkie sighed, turning for the closet door. “Thanks for listening to me.” She raised her neck and twitched her ears and bounced out and into the fray, ever the jubilant hostess. But Fluttershy could see the way that Pinkie’s tail kept drooping, could hear that terrible edge to Pinkie’s normally warm, bubbly voice. She quietly said her goodbyes and headed for her cottage. Pinkie didn’t need her around causing extra stress.

------------

After a sleepless night spent thinking in loops and circles, Fluttershy was no closer to any solutions. She’d seen Pinkie cry before; she’d caused it before, and she’d promised it would never happen again. Saying a harsh ‘No’ would probably crush poor Pinkie, but pity-dating was awful, manipulative and painful. She would never wish that on anypony, after what had happened back in flight school. Now that was the fastest way to lose a friend... Fluttershy shook herself and tossed back another cup of tea. Then she left her kitchen table and fed her animals, yawning all the while. She dusted her shelf of curios, shook out the mats, checked litter boxes, and freshened up the warrens. And when she finally ran out of excuses, she trudged her way to Sugarcube corner, to try and let Pinkie down gently.

The town of Ponyville looked somehow larger, somehow much more frightening than it ever had before. Everypony in the marketplace could be whispering about her, and what she was trying to do. Every shadow wsa sharper, darker than ever before, and every shopkeeper leered out the window. Fluttershy shrank herself down to a more manageable size and apologized her way to the looming bakery.

Pinkie was working the counter. The lunch rush had probably ended, since only a few ponies still lurked at corner tables. Pinkie brightened and waved her over. “What’s going on, Flutters?” she chirped brightly, her smile radiant, almost too bright.

“Is there somewhere we can talk?” Fluttershy asked, fluttering her wings and staring at the display case.

Pinkie shifted her eyes around and gestured towards the staircase. Fluttershy followed Pinkie up into her room and shut the door behind them. It was pretty obvious Pinkie wanted this to be private. “So I guess you thought about it?” Pinkie asked, practically vibrating with excitement.

“Yes,” Fluttershy stalled. The raw joy and hope on Pinkie’s face was too much to handle. The pain in her chest swelled up to a steady throb, and she looked around the room for anything else to talk about.

--TIME--
“So, what’s the verdict?” Pinkie prompted, still smiling.

“Well, Pinkie,” Fluttershy stammered, “I was thinking all last night, and I think I’m … not a place emotionally where I’d be a good partner for anypony. I’m so busy trying to figure myself out that I wouldn’t have room in my head for … y’know, us.” Pinkie blinked and smiled again, big and happy and absolutely out of place.

“That’s alright, Flutters,” she said, giving Fluttershy a firm, gentle hug. It lasted about seven seconds too long, Fluttershy thought. “I can wait until you’re ready.”

Author's Note:

Prompt #401: Kindness can be the greatest cruelty of all

Comments

[Mermaid]

Oh, no, Fluttershy. That path won't end well. :(

[Midnight herald]

2937400 This piece may or may not be semi-autobiographical. And yes, it's the absolute worst way to deal with things. But it's also totally a thing she might do, hey? Enough cute FlutterPie has happened here. Time for the evil or I don't even know. They seemed like the two ponies to fit the bill, so I used 'em. But yes, very bad. Very, very bad.