Timed Ramblings

by Midnight herald

Because Why Not?

“But What did I do?” Twilight asked, peering up at her mentor’s ageless face for any indication of what was to come.
“You did something today that’s never been done before, Twilight,” she answered with her patented motherly smile. “Something even a great unicorn like Starswirl the Bearded was not able to do, since he didn’t understand friendship as you do.”
“And that means …?” Twilight prompted, waving Celestia on with a hoof. “I’m sure you’ve got this great speech planned out and all, but something about... I dunno, getting hit with the Elements and sent into a pocket dimension is really freaking me out right now.”
Princess Celestia did a quick double-take, shaking herself before resuming her serene smile. “You have proven that you are ready, Twilight. Ready to Ascend.”
Ascend? Like the Throne? Like, Goddess ascension? Twilight danced away from her mentor’s side, muttering “no, no, no, no, no...” This couldn’t be happening. Shouldn’t have been happening. This was not in her agenda, was not in any checklist, hadn’t even dawned upon the darkest recesses of her expansive mind.
“Princess, have you thought this through at all?” she shouted. “I mean no disrespect to you, but are you out of your freakin’ mind here?”
“Twilight, I --”
“You know how I react under pressure, Princess,” Twilight interjected, pacing back and forth, snorting tiny jets of hot air as she hyperventilated. “Does a certain Want it, Need it spell come to mind? SOmeone with my neuroses does NOT get put in a position of power. That’s just no good. And I don’t know how you think this could be a good idea.”
“Twilight, if you’d just listen for a --”
“And that’s not all, Princess. So maybe I’m a powerful unicorn who understands what friends are for. Did you maybe stop and think for a bit that that’s all I wanted in my life? I have friends, good ones. And I live in this great little town and we have wacky adventures all the time, but nopony looks at me like Canterlot ponies look at me.
“Every single one of them, eyeing me over like I was property. ‘There goes Celestia’s protege. Maybe I can give her candy, or store discounts, maybe I can try and get her drunk and in bed with me, and I’ll rise in the ranks of the petty nobility’... I don’t want that in my life anymore. And it would just get worse if I became some kind of princess. Everypony would try and get the young, new alicorn to approve their self-serving agendas. Don’t you pretend they wouldn’t, Princess. Not for one second.”
Celestia took a few deep, calming breaths before trying to regroup and answer. “Twilight, the ponies of Canterlot are admittedly a shallow bunch of stuck-up sheep. BUt they respect the title of Princess and would do nothing of the sort to you. And even if they would, this is your destiny. From the moment you became my student I have prepared you for this.”
Twilight tossed her head angrily. “Princess, Aren’t you always telling me to find my own way? THat my destiny is my own to shape?” Celestia nodded. “Then let me do that. I don’t trust myself with godly powers. I don’t trust Equestria to my leadership. I can’t let this happen.”

“If you need help getting past feelings of unworthiness, we can help, Twilight Sparkle.”

Twilight whirled around to face the new speaker. “Princess Luna...” she paused, sorting out the thousands of clamoring thoughts in her head. “It’s not so much feelings of worthiness as a history of instability. It’s not fair to Equestria to get a new princess that’s half-crazy.” She looked back anf forth between the two Alicorns, catching each of them in the eye and smiling. “I’m honored that you’d think of me, but I’m not the mare for the job.”

Luna facehoofed magnificently, her crystalline horseshoes *clinking* against her horn. “So help me, Twilight Sparkle...”she growled. When she opened her eyes they glowed white with radiant moonbeams, haunting and terrifying. “YOU HAVE COMPLETED THE SPELL OF AGES, TWILIGHT SPARKLE!” Twilight ground her feet into the astral floor against the might of the Royal Canterlot Voice. “THE STARS HAVE ALIGNED, AND IT IS MUCH MORE THAN YOUR OWN DESTINY AT WORK HERE. THE STARS HAVE SPOKEN AND THERE WILL BE A NEW ALICORN BEFORE THIS NIGHT IS THROUGH! AND AS YOU HAVE PROVEN YOURSELF WORTHY, IT FALLS UPON YOU TO... RECIEVE ONE FOR THE TEAM, AS THEY SAY.”

The gears in Twilight’s head were spinning faster than they had for a long time, churning out scenarios at lightning speed. She found one she liked and started down the path toward it.
TIME-----------

“Would one of the other Element Bearers be worthy of this?” she hazarded, her guilt spiking to terminal levels beneath the two unamused glares she was recieving.

“I suppose they would be,” Luna answered, although the icy glare did not once leave her face. “Rarity and Rainbow Dash have great charisma and a desire for greatness. What say you, sister?”

Celestia frowned. “Both of them would feel insulted, in a way. They desire to reach the pinnacles of greatness and renown through their own hard work. What say you to Pinkie Pie? She’d be a useful ambassador.”

A moment later, when the possibilities of Pinkie with godlike power and influence made themselves known, Celestia’s face turned a vibrant green and she shook with terror and awe.

“You’re both thinking too big,” Twilight chided, smiling. “You see, something I’ve learned while being in a group of friends is that one of them will incvariably take whatever is thrown at her in stride, because she’s juts too polite to object to it...”

-------------------------------------------------

Twilight appeared in a flash of light, while quickly checking her shoulders for wings. Thankfully, none appeared. Another blinding flash turned the night to day for a full five seconds before receding. Twilight smiled and waited for the inevitable.

“Twilight? You mind explaining what in tarnation jus’ happened to me?”

It was all she could do to smother her joyous laughter. Score!

Author's Note:

Prompt 266: Equestria’s latest alicorn princess… is not Twilight Sparkle.

Comments

[DarkwingSnark]

Okay, this was way funnier than I thought it was going to be. I thought it was going to be kinda angsty, and then POW! Twilight thrusts the roll onto Applejack. I can easily imagine the fit she'd have over it. Lol.

[Midnight herald]

2373946It was one of those days and I needed to be silly. I kinda figured that, since the Mane 6 and Ponyville seem to throw all their problems at Applejack to begin with, it would be a logical next-step for a scapegoat... fun times.

[Mermaid]

Ha! I thought it would be Fluttershy, but on second thought, for all her shyness she is awesome at hiding when she wants to. Applejack doesn't abandon responsibilities, though.

[Midnight herald]

2914448 I realized log after writing it that it really should have been Fluttershy with the line of reasoning I followed. But I'm a sucker for Alicorn Applejack, so...