Delayed Dinner
Unable to begin the meal without the guest of honor, Braeburn, his parents, and the guard troupe all just sat around in awkward silence until Honey-Crisp spoke.
"We'll be eatin' right as soon as the princess is back, so while her majesty's gettin' cleaned up, how's about y'all go wash yer hooves up too?" The elder mare recommended before a thought apparently struck her, "Oh, silly ol' me! We don't get many unicorns around here, I suppose ya don't really need ta wash do ya?"
"We should probably wash up anyway." Blue Blaze said, rising from his seat, "Come on boys."
The stallion pack smiled and rose, calmly exiting the door. As soon as they were out in the hall though, the smiles dropped.
"What's the plan sir?" Bastion whispered.
"We're just going to make sure the princess is alright. We'll sneak to her bathroom, knock, and if we hear her voice we'll pull back."
"... And what, dare I ask, do we do if we don't hear her?"
"We- Shh! Somepony's coming!"
The squad dove around a corner fast enough to avoid Braeburn as he hurriedly made his way down the hall.
"Quick!" Blue Blazer commanded, "Follow him!"
"Just a little bit more princess. I can't get this last spot out." Brush said as she re-lathered the Princess's already pristine mane.
"Are we almost done? I just wanted to rinse the coffee off..."
"Now just let your mane soak for a few more minutes and you'll be set."
"I'd much rather not stall dinner any more. Besides, I'm sure that my mane is just fine right now. It's not like it really needs to be perfect or anything."
"Now princess, on that I simply must disagree! One of your station must always exude the proper image expected of royalty!"
"I really don't think that the Apple family would be offended if I came to dinner without a perfectly styled mane."
"That's the kind of thing that you precisely can't do! A princess cannot compromise her standards for anything! You are a pillar of faith for our entire nation! You must be held to a standard no less than that of perfection, and any deviation therefrom disrupts the very faith of our nation!"
"Well..."
"Just imagine how you'd feel if Clestia had bed-mane in court!"
Twilight sat in awe of the image, "I hadn't thought about it like that..."
Not able to argue, Twilight remained in the tub as the mares left her to soak.
"Quick thinking Brush!" Cloud whispered as soon as they were out of earshot.
"Not to burst your bubble, but what are we going to do now?" Bristle asked quietly, "Your little speech kept her in, but now she defiantly won't come out until she's good, ready, and dry! Our wonderful wet-mane plan will be ruined!"
"Oh don't worry, everything is going even better than expected! Now we just need to get our little- And there's just the pony I wanted to see!"
"You ladies alright up here?" the perpetually anxious farmer asked.
"We were actually just looking for you! The princess needs some towels, and we couldn't find any!"
Taking her cue, the others followed.
"She could really use them soon..." Breeze said as she nudged him forward slightly.
"Oh, here, let me get them for you." he said, trying to turn them around towards an adjacent closet but was stopped by a shove forward from Brush.
"No time to stop! Please get her some towels!" she said as she continued to push.
"Uh, sure- but they're-" the struggling stallion tried to explain.
"Please! She needs them NOW!" Cloud said as she gave a final hard push to the unsuspecting stallion, sending him right through a doorway.
"Braeburn!?!" a familiar feminine voice shrieked.
"What are you doing!" Blue Blazer all but yelled as he saw the mares shoving the potentially dangerous stallion into the room where presumably the princess was bathing.
They slammed the door behind him, and a feminine shriek from within only served to confirm the stallion's suspicion.
Without second thought, Blue Blazer and his stallions charged for the door.
"No don't!" he heard Brush shout as she and the other mares blocked their path.
Now, even though they were well trained unicorn guards, they were still unicorn guards. Just as pegasi supply air cover and earth ponies are great in close-combat, unicorns fill the role of ranged fighting and defensive shielding. They prove a great force multiplier in a mixed unit, when each tribe covers the weaknesses of the others, but left alone, pure unicorn units have one major weakness. One that Blue Blazer should have taken into account before trying to push past the objecting mares.
...unicorns are naturally weak...
...and earth ponies are naturally strong.
Before he could even recognize what happened, he was bouncing right off of the Earth-pony wall, and in the next instant, he was being held to the ground.
"What!"
"Just relax! We've got this under control!" Brush commanded from on top of him.
He lay in shock for a moment before his surprised expression hardened as realization washed over him. "You're in on it aren’t you! Ever since we got here you've all been setting this up, haven’t you! Don't think that I didn't see though you're 'performance' downstairs!"
"Go!" he yelled to the others, but when he heard no tell-tale hoofbeats, he looked around to see that just as himself, the others had followed and been subdued by the mares.
"Do you even realize what you're doing!" he shouted.
"Oh yes we do!"
"You're-"
"We're-"
"-trying to assassinate-"
"-trying to hook-up-"
"-the princess!" they finished in unison.
"Wait, what did you think we were doing?" asked Brush as she tried to decide if she should be amused by the misunderstanding, angry that he would even think they'd betray the princess, or be afraid of the guard captain's increasingly apparent ignorance.
"...actually, don't answer that. How about I just show you."
Still holding him hostage, she allowed him to put an ear to the door, every other occupant of the hall followed.
Despite the door, the sounds from within the room were quite distinct. More so, it appeared that the conversation was reaching its crescendo just as they arrived.
"...thank you for sharing that, really." the princess's words were tender, "Now this had something to do with what you wanted to ask before?" The princess's voice inquired.
A moment passed before any sounds escaped the room before a nervous Braeburn continued, "With all that in mind, I know we don't know each other that well, but..." Braeburn quickly squeaked before going silent again.
"Yes Braeburn? But what? Do you need something?"
The silence stood for a moment before he spoke again; trepidation, fear, and yet pride in his voice. "Will you marry me?"
A pause.
The Hoofmadens and guards looked to each other, shock and surprise all around. The shock felt by the hoofmadens at the boldness of his request was simply blown out of the water though by the implications of the reply.
"Of course! Of course I'll marry you!"
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Now I wonder if Braeburn's going to break the news to his parents? And more importantly will they approve?
Okay, this is starting to get messed up.
2926081 how so?
2926096
I'll admit you were putting up a great setup with the guards suspecting an assassin setup while the hoofmaidens were trying to play cupid, but suddenly it turns out Braeburn really was trying to hook up with her and to top it all off she said yes with no forethought or pretense?
Rainbow Dash could not rush this fast with no reason!
Wait, WHAT? Did that SERIOUSLY just happen?
....ohhhhhhhh, I get it
Looking forward to the next chapter
Now then, I hope this doesn't cause too much of a rift between the guards and the hoofmaidens
EDIT: I hate to criticize when you're already unsatisfied with how the chapter came out, but you'll want to check your grammer
Sorry! Sorry! Right
Officially calling it now - she's responding in the person of a Justice of the Peace. Am I correct in my thoughts on the lucky bride?
Nice joke, Twilight.
....AH! Marry as in officiate between Braebutn and his fiancee! Hahahaha.
Poor Twilight.
Oh, now this is lovely! Don't answer, but I'm thinking he means for her to perform the ceremony for him and, I'm guessing, his little buffalo gal. Who's name escapes me currently
What.
What.
I honestly am surprised. I didn't think Braeburn was going to try something like that. I was convinced that both Twi's guards and hoofmaidens would be dead wrong.
Welp, now that the hoofmaidens have been proven right about something, I suppose this means that at some point on this little tour of Equestria some crackpot pony is going to attempt to assassinate Twilight.
Also, Braeburn, moving kinda fast there aren'tcha?
Wouldn't be the first time I've seen "marry" used in this sense.
Two things:
1. I like BraeburnxRarity more than BraeburnxTwilight OR BraeburnxLittleStrongheart, but whatever, your story.
2. Why exactly does Twilight need an entourage of guards ponies if she's essentially invincible?
This should be good, Twilight's going to conduct Braeburn's marriage
For those who didn't realize it, Twilight means that she is willing to officiate the marriage for Braeburn. Meaning that Twilight is willing "to marry" Braeburn to another pony.
2926096 OH WAIT. I'M SO STUPID. DX
Twilight's not marrying him, she's helping his marriage proposal be official.
2926198 lol. I jumped too quick too. I forgot how the author of this story thinks. XD
2926713 I posted a comment showing how stupid I am lol.
She'll marry him, but she's not gonna be the bride.
(Just putting it on record that I'm not as dumb as the guards or hoofmaidens.)
2926132
2926295
Psst.
"Marry" has more than one meaning.
I call it being something else entirely.
2926528 Let me venture a guess and say it's not a pony.
Something tells me that Twilight has been taking pranking lessons from Rainbow and Pinkie... if not Celestia Herself!
Yeah, "marry" as in "marry". It's pretty obvious, but still funny.
And Twi is still without any man. Time to search for single woman on the market. Maybe Rainbow Dash got a sister to hook Twi with up.
Another hilarious chapter. I will admit for about 5 seconds I sat here wondering where the hell that ship came from. I was like "that's odd. This author is too good to just jump a shark like that and introduce something like that with no basis"
I then remembered that this entire story has essentially been founded on jumping to incorrect conclusions because of how things are worded.
Judging by the responses in the comments a lot of people are guilty of the same things the guards and maidens are
*puts hat on tree trunk and takes aim*
*author appears to side*
clever girl...
I find it sad and amusing that so many readers are as quick to believe that as the ponies in the story are.
2926140 Well, now that people are outright saying this is a misunderstanding and that Twilight is agreeing to marry Braeburn and Strongheart, I'll outright state my thoughts:
I figured Twilight caught on to what her hoofmaidens were up to and she and Braeburn were pulling a prank as payback
Oh, I don't doubt that Braeburn and Strongheart are an item, I just figured Twi and Brae were having some fun at everyon'e expense
...Princess Celestia has officially lost her place as #1 Troll
HAHAHAHA...it took me a few minutes to understand that when he said "will you marry me?", he probably meant that she as a princess has the authority (like celestia did with shining and cadence) to legally marry him to whomever he intends to marry (little strongheart maybe?), not that he actually proposed to twi; you kinda need to hear the earlier conversation to understand that though.
oh i think i know what happens twilight thinks she will perform the ceremony not be the bride
Aaaaannnd, we have the first direct mention of the maids Tribe and it renders several components from the first few chapters stupid. I was liking this even with OoC Applejack... was.
APPLEJACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and shit has just hit the fan, if you don't know what I mean let me explain. if twilight marries a, shale we say a low class earth pony almost every royal in canterlot will go into a total rampage and try to over throw the princesses.
oh I love it! Braeburn must be getting married to somepony and twilight is going to marry the both of them, but the guards think that twilight is getting married to Braeburn.
tbh I find it funny the request 'will you marry me' means both things