Travel and Preparation
It had been just over a year since she had been on this exact train to Appaloosa, and just like then, she had the last three cars of the train reserved. This time though, rather than her friends, her entourage occupied the bunked sleeping car, and instead of Bloomberg, this time she rested in the cavernous last car.
She had spent the time reading, but it had still been a boring trip compared to her last time on this route.
She heaved a sigh as she stared out at the plains of buffalo territory zooming by.
Much more boring... she decided.
Yawning, she laid down for a nap.
Captain Blue Blazer was upset. It was easy to tell from his reddened face and quickened pace as he stormed up and down the railcar's isle. The only problem for the troops under his command though, was deciding if he was red out of anger at them for not waking him up sooner, or from the embarrassment of passing out while on duty and sleeping through the whole day.
Dasher decided to bank on the latter, and he wasn't going to let this opportunity pass..
"Do you want an update on what happened while you were relaxing sir?" Dasher asked.
"I was not relaxing!" he snapped.
"Then what were you doing? You looked pretty peaceful to me?"
"Just shut up Dasher! I don't want to hear about it!"
"There were some things you should probably hear about sir." Bastion gently objected.
"Like what happened to the princess after we ran off like cowards." Dasher scoffed under his breath -just loud enough for the captain to hear.
"We did not 'run like cowards' we made a tactical retreat!" Blazer shouted, "It's an acceptable strategy!"
"Pshhh! Yeah, we made a retreat... LEAVING THE PRINCESS BEHIND! We were ran like fillies leaving the-"
"She came back unharmed! That's all that matters! You know what? No. We're not talking about this anymore. Everypony came back unharmed. End of story, that's all that matters."
"But sir-"
"I said end of story." Blue Blazer enforced his point by stomping away.
Bastion and Dasher shared a dubious look.
The conductor's scratchy voice came over the intercom announcing their arrival in fifteen minutes, waking Twilight from her nap.
She gently rose from her cushion, and began her way to the sleeper car where her posse was.
...or should have been. The car's bunks and narrow isles were empty, beds made and luggage racks empty.
"Where'd they go?"
She continued onward to the food car. She stopped at the door when she herd arguing inside.
"What do you mean 'a hugely un-necessary risk'? This is absolutely necessary!"
"Prancing around singing? Leaving us exposed in an unfamiliar town with an un-vetted population? We could be walking into a trap! That parade formation was made specifically for Canterlot Castle assembly hall, not some backwater train depot! We should come in as quietly as possible, let us get off first and clear a path and then bring the princess out under one of Stonehoof's shields!"
"It's just a friendly visit! The whole reason for doing this is for good PR exposure! Coming in looking like a hot-and-heavy military convoy bringing in a fugitive is the opposite of what we are trying to do here! Now just get your armor on, I'll go get the princess so we can get her into her dress."
Twilight drew back from the door and tried her best to look like she hadn't just been eavesdropping.
"Ah! Princess, we were just coming to get you!" Brush said as she saw Twilight. "We're almost ready!"
"Ready?" Twilight asked, eyeing the mare once again wearing the same caparison and banister as she had during her coronation ceremony.
"-for your introduction, princess. All we need now is help you get into your dress and we'll be set." Breeze answered.
A peek through the open doorway revealed that they were all wearing the same garb and banners that they had for her coronation.
"Um... I'm not entirely sure what you mean..."
"Your royal introduction! We have to do your royal introduction in the next city!"
"...and what does that entail exactly?"
"The song! The procession! Everything!" Breeze happily exclaimed.
"Huh?" Twilight was actually quite confident that she knew what they meant, but that didn't mean she couldn't hold out hope and pretend to revel in blissful ignorance.
"You know! The one that goes 'princess Twilight cometh' and 'the princess is heeeeeere'!"
...please tell me you're kidding.
"We have to sing it! Her majesty princess Celestia has her trumpeters, Luna has her heralds, and you have us!"
Please no, uh... "I don't really think I need an introduction. I'm actually really familiar with this town and they know me pretty well."
"But what if some don't know? We have to be sure every pony knows that they are in the presence of royalty! If not, they might do something unbecoming! It's actually more of a curtesy making sure they know you're present if you think about it."
Twilight mulled over this idea. Sure, from her perspective it was silly, but she thought about how Rarity would react if Celesta just snuck up on her. There probably were not any Rarities in this town but better safe than sorry...
"Fine, but keep the pomp and circumstance to an absolute minimum. The people of Appaloosa are very down-to-Equestria bunch, they probably don't want us to be disturbing their town as it is."
The blonde mare nodded understandingly. "Yes your majesty, we'll try to keep a low profile..."
Twilight let out a sigh of relief. If they kept a low profile this might not be so-
"...after we sing your introduction."
Horseapples...
"Let's get this over with..." Twilight grumbled as the train pulled in to the station.
"Positions!" Brush called, arranging herself amongst the formation.
The doors opened and the wonderful singing voices innate in all equestrians began working their magic.
Maybe this really won’t be so bad… Twilight thought as she took her first step.
The thought was shared by the guardstallions as well…
...until Twilight was hit in the face with a pie.
"Sniper!"
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Oh shisno, a sniper pie!
that is all
yes, yes we are QUITE sure at least SOMEONE remembers her
enjoyed it, waiting for more
i.imgur.com/xqGkX.gif
SNIPER!
did they not look out the window first? got a funny feeling they just opened the door to an already ongoing pie fight...
oh, and can't wait for more awesomeness
We really need a vignette of Celestia revealing her nefarious reasons for loading Twilight down with this pack of buffoons. Possibly while smoking cigars with Luna.
A sniper? And a Party? ...
Pinkie did it! because you know.... Pinkie ...
And then all Tartarus broke lose
Ooh, does this mean we'll see Braeburn again?
It is like a train wreck. I know it is bad for me, but I can't stop rubbernecking and reading...
This is so hilarious, keep on going!
Oh god! I laughed way too much than I should have.
Well f*ck!
2635590 Oh yes.
If I were Twilight, I'd let the team get away with the song-and-dance number. I've got a feeling that their self-esteem and sense of identity is really strongly tied up with it. The alternative is to deal with them going into some kind of breakdown.
I'm beginning to think those guards would be most use as basically mobile bullet-catchers given their appallingly low success rate so far at stopping ponies manhandling or otherwise assaulting Twilight, let alone the issue with the monster. The only time they actually seem to do anything is when they get the wrong end of the stick and end up assaulting one of Twilight's friends out of misplaced zeal. When she actually is in trouble, they really aren't worth the effort!
2635590
"Arutyc shabuir." - as said by a Mandolorian in the star wars universe. (Traitorous jacka**.)
Mare down! Somepony get a medic over here!
lets see another fight between buffalo and ponies probably over an arranged marriage between braeburn and little strongheart or something like that. brae says no big fight but with pie ammunition on both fronts now
And so, Equestria was doomed, all thanks to a pie.
2635422 Nah, they thought it was Pinkie.
2637593 Snipin's a good job, mite!