Discord has been thought to have been imprisoned in stone. How have the ponies have been tricked. During the night Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, Apple Bloom, and Spike are kidnapped. No body knows how or why, but it has Discord written all over it.
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1. There's a you in there when its suppose to be a your
2.Goes a bit too fast, holes in the plot
3. If possible, bold the title when you change scenes
Overall a food plot and a good story so I will give it a thumbs up and I will check on it for chapter two
P.S. Maybe you can read my story "My Day In Ponyville"
Sorry I meant good when it says food, stupid autocorrect
2134970
Thanks for the advise. I'm finding it a little hard to slow down a little, but hey I'm still a newbe at this.
2135058 toshay.
I have a ton of stories, and they all go WAY to fast. I understand what your going through with the good story, but to fast.
/)*
I never liked discord
*Considers the story, having read this far*
MOUSTACHE CANNON!!!!
CONTINUE ON, GOOD SIR!
Good, only 1 real complaint:
Plane of existence, not "Plain"
that is all.
Two "L"s in "Ponyville", but still good!
Discord: What?
WWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me:
Bravo, sir! Bravo!
Not... gonna... cry... just... think of... something... happy... WAAAHHHHHHH
You have my feels. Only one chapter left?
2205371
Sadly yes...............buuuuuut I'm thinking about writing a sequel
2205379
Also, glad you liked the most recent chapter! you wanna go read PrincessLuna11's Fic featuring my characters now?
You, sir, get nine out of ten mustaches.
I would have given you ten, but there were grammatical errors.
2205394
I don't know which one it is.
2205478 it's called Discord Day Party. It's HILARIOUS!!!
Discord is dead.
[youtube=oGBQf8WqwZ0]
that is all. this was a good fic. Bravo.
Whoa, hello bad grammar. Aside from the undesirably rapid pace of the plot, your biggest problem is your vocabulary. You're using a LOT of words incorrectly. "Past" instead of "passed", "your" instead of "you're", "there" instead of "their"... the list goes on and on.
Your punctuation isn't exactly perfect, either. I've seen much worse, mind you, but yours could still be better. Next time you write a story, I suggest you get a proofreader. Do you know how to do that?
Discord is finally now I'm truly happy and I'm going to celebrate so long discord you pathetic duece bag
What I always hated discord
2232203
still kinda new about that.
2233517 To find a proofreader, go near the top of the page just beneath the FiMFiction banner. There is a toolbar under that. Click the arrow next to your username, and a menu will appear. Click "Groups". You will be taken to another page. On that page, click the button that says "Browse all Groups". Among the choices on the very first page, you will see a few groups dedicated to providing proofreading and editing help to people like you. Choose one and make a request. The procedures for doing that should be listed on the group's main page.
Sad
3074028 agreed
crikey mate
interesting
to be completely honest I liked discord, in the show