• Published 16th Feb 2013
  • 1,440 Views, 12 Comments

The End Of The Element Of Loyalty - zephyrdash



Rainbow Dash, the element of loyalty, is depressed at the fact that her friends have abandoned her...

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She walked into Ponyville. She didn't know she had been gone so long... She had a hard time remembering her name. What was it again? Rainbow Dash Rainbow Dash had left Ponyville 5 years ago. Nobody knew where she was. She lost memories. She lost time with her friends. Hell, she didn't even know where her friends were in life anymore. Ponyville was now a huge, bustling city. It was even bigger then Canterlot. Some ponies now called it "The TwiPire", which, Rainbow Dash guessed, meant "Twilight Sparkle Empire". Twilight was now a princess, an alicorn, and had been so for years. Princess Celestia was still alive but old, and Luna was only 500 years younger. Luna and Celestia may soon even die...

What has happened while I was gone... What about, what's her name... Scoo... Scott... Scattalee? She was yellow or something... Had pink hair... Then Apple... Apple Corn? And Sew... Seatie... Seatie Blue?

Rainbow couldn't remember a lot... She was depressed... Sometimes, in Cloudsdale, where she worked at the Donut Joe's Coffee & Donut Shop, she'd sit on her bed in her apartment with a rope tied to the ceiling, but she could never do it... Rainbow Dash was fine until her spouse, Thunderlane, died. She worked with the Wonderbolts, 3 months before her and Thunder's marriage. Everything was great, until Thunderlane, 1 day before their marriage, was in the bar with his buddies. Rainbow told Thunderlane to be careful, and not to cause any trouble, but whenever he was drunk, he lost it.

Thunderlane and his buddies were driving back to Rainbow and his' house. It was a nice little house. They were only 2 minutes away, but then the taxi driver had a stroke at the wheel. Rainbow Dash flew down the street to see what happened, only to find out that her wonderful Thunderlane had been killed in the accident... The car had flipped into the ditch, every pony in the vehicle had their necks broken at the impact.

This was 3 years ago. Rainbow had lost everything important to her. She lost the house, and her and Thunderlane's plans for a big family were gone... Now she was an alcoholic, arrested 15 times, all of those reasons were "drinking and assault". She worked at a strip club, Pony-Mart, and then at Donut Joe's, and now she had a loan to pay off, she had to pay 400 bits to the bank. She also owed money to ponies. Altogether, she owed 750 bits to pay off the loan and to other ponies.

Rainbow was on the verge of taking herself away from this hell. She came back to Ponyville to reunite with Twilight and her friends to soothe her depression. Each time she told herself those words Spitfire said to her before Spitfire died of disease. "Don't shoot for the stars, shoot for the Milky Way and beyond..."

Before Spitfire was diagnosed with her disease, she helped Rainbow Dash get through her depression. It was all working, Rainbow Dash was so happy, but then Spitfire was diagnosed, and days later after she was, she died...

Now, Rainbow Dash was walking to her old home in Ponyville, which nobody had bought, or even noticed. It was damaged, but she could live in it, at least for a while. But before she returned, she had to find her Scattalee, or whoever she was. Scattalee, or whoever it is, still lived in Ponyville. Rainbow Dash knew where she lived.

"Oh, I remember when Scattalee was born... I was only 14, and when she was 12 she made that group... What was it? The Cartie Mule Cornshows? I dunno..."

Rainbow Dash walked down Sugar Cube Corner. Wow. It looked different. The Cakes' shop was still there, too! Rainbow quickly saw this as an opportunity and ran in, only to find out it was being run by 20-year-old Pumpkin and Pound Cake.

"Where are Mr. and Mrs. Cake?!" said Rainbow Dash.

"Do you mean our parents...?" replied Pound Cake, who was the one speaking.

"Yes, where are they?!"

"Who are you--"

"Please, where are they?!"

"They died 2 years ago..."

"Where's Pinkie Pie?!"

"She lives in this city somewhere..."

Rainbow just walked out. Nevermind Pumpkin and Pound Cake, they wouldn't remember her... Rainbow walked back to her old house and flew in. It took her 3 hours to walk back to her house from Sugarcube Corner. It was now 11:37PM.

"DAMN YOU CELESTIA!!!" Rainbow Dash cried.

Rainbow then remembered that day her precious Thunderlane died...

"Hey darling, I'll be going out with my buddies drinking in a few minutes, okay?" said Thunder Lane.

"Okay... Be careful! Don't drink too much."

Thunderlane's friends walked in. Rainbow Dash kissed Thunderlane and he left.

Rainbow Dash did her exercise routine while Thunderlane was out. She was worried, therefore she couldn't complete her routine. Right when Rainbow Dash was getting in her pajamas, she heard a huge crash outside. Rainbow flew down the road, only to find fireponies and police ponies surrounding the scene.

"What's going on?!" Rainbow Dash yelled.

"Stay back! Four ponies just died in an accident!" the officer said.

"WHO ARE THEY?!" It was not 3 seconds after Rainbow said that that they carried out Thunderlane's body from the taxi. He was covered in blood and his hockey jersey was torn to shreds.

"Thunderlane!" Rainbow galloped over to him. She quickly realized he was already gone. Rainbow fell on her knees and started to cry. She stayed there all night, refusing to leave, crying.

This is when all this started. 3 weeks after Thunderlane's death, Rainbow got the rope ready, but she just couldn't. She couldn't do it. She wanted to be reunited with her Thunderlane, but what about her friends? What about her job, what about her coming daughter? That's right. Rainbow Dash was pregnant. Who would be the father? What should she do?

Then, 3 months later, she found out she had a miscarriage. The baby died. Now Rainbow had lost more. That night, she did it again. She got the rope ready, but still couldn't do it. She decided to try to move on. Ending her life here may be the wrong choice, and so she didn't do it.

Rainbow Dash tried not to remember, but she did. Eventually, after 3 hours, Rainbow had cried herself to sleep, only to relive that memory in her dreams...

Author's Note:

Hey guys. I just thought I'd let you know something:

Scattalee=Scootaloo
Apple Corn= Apple Bloom
Seatie Blue=Sweetie Belle
Cartie Mule Cornshows=Cutie Mark Crusaders

No complaints about her memory, please. I probably wouldn't remember all this crap if I was gone for 5 years, was deep in depression, and other stuff.

I hope you are liking the story so far. I'm gonna try and get Chapter 2: Verge, up tonight.

This story is meant to be a 3-chapter story. I'm working on it while I have writers block on My Little Twilight. I hope you're enjoying so far!

The timeline may seem all jumbled, though. I'm trying to figure out a better one. Its 30 years after Twilight came to Ponyville, so that its based in the second year after Twilight came to Ponyville, when the Crusaders were 12, and are now 32. Pumpkin and Pound Cake are 20. Makes sense, right?

-Zephyr Dash

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Comments ( 12 )

Good, keep writing I love where this is going.:pinkiehappy:

2131487 And its going to get even more sad >:D

zephyrdash shit:twilightoops:

Good idea but somewhat of a poor execution. It all just seems a bit too jumbled and it feels like it's trying to hurry and show us a ton of "sad stuff" without really giving us effort or time to know why it's sad. I just merely feel like I'm just taking the story's word for it that it's suppose to be sad.

I'm not much of a RD fan... But my heart just crumbled.

I like it. Just a bit more details but overall it's a excellent story. :ajsmug:
P.s.maybe you can read my story my day in ponyville

Good story so far. I like all the emotion. The grammar and spelling is great. It was very interesting. The pacings a little off. They all died so quickly that the reader doesn't have time to be sad about them. Try adding some more detail. For example, maybe talk about Spitfire's disease symptoms she suffered through. Or maybe how excited Rainbow Dash was about having her daughter before she had the miscarrige. Or maybe you could add more detail about how she feels about her humiliating jobs and how all the ponies judge her for being an alchaholic criminal. Rainbow Dash would probably hesitate to see her friends again because she feels like such a failure and all her other friends are living happy lives. Are taxies invented?:rainbowhuh: Nice job! Keep up the good work!:pinkiesmile:

2133067 Thanks. I'm going to make the second chapter not-so-pacy. By taxies I mean carriages. :P

Best of luck on the next chapter.

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