Should Never See So Much
Should Never See So Much
Twilight raised a hoof and hesitantly knocked on the door to Fluttershy’s college.
“Coooooooooooomiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinggggg!” A shrill voice cried from within. A series of locks and latches unlocked and unlatched and the door swung wide revealing a draconequus in a frilly yellow apron stirring a bowl of thick black pudding.
“Are you with the Filly Scouts because I already bought ten boxes of Chocolate Mints from you last week and they just went straight to my-” Discord said, gasping when he caught sight of Twilight in the doorway.
“Oh my! A royal visit?!” Discord cried with an exaggerated curtsey. “This is a surprise! Princess Twilight Sparkle, in my own home! To what do I owe this honor Your Radience?!”
“Discord-” Twilight said
“Oh, the mares at the PTA are never going to believe this.”
“Discord, I need to tell you-” Twilight said.
“Oh, but where are my manners?!” Discord cried. “Receiving royalty on my front porch like a churlish oaf. Come in, please!”
“No, wait, Discord-” Twilight tried to resist but found herself swept into the house at Discord’s insistence.
As soon as she stepped inside, she noticed the absence of animal hoots, shrieks, and cries that usually echoed through Fluttershy’s house. Animal houses and bird cages laid open and empty, the various critters that inhabited them gone
“What happened to all the animals?” Twilight said.
“Hm?” Discord said. “Oh, them. That big red farmer pony stopped by last night to pick them up for…some reason.”
“H-he didn’t tell you?” Twilight said.
“Not very talkative that one.” Discord said, turning back to his bubbling mess on the stove. “I offered him some of my famous banana and black bean haggis but this seemed to upset him for some reason…maybe it was the sheep’s stomach…I don’t know, I’m not a freaking mind reader, am I right?”
“So…nopony told you about-”
“Nopony tells me much of anything Princess.” Discord said, ladling a bubbling black liquid into two bowls. “As a general rule, they tend to avoid me. They seem to think I’m going to cut them up and make pastries out of their organs or something. Which is frankly quite ridiculous! I don’t even eat ponies!”
“Well, that’s not-”
“Anymore.”
“What?” Twilight said.
“Have you ever had gilorgleberry pudding before?” Discord said, sliding one of the bowls of black sludge across the table to Twilight. “It’s a delicacy in some parts of the multiverse; my old chum Gl'bgolyb mailed me the recipe for my last name day.”
“What’s in it?” Twilight said, sniffing the pudding suspiciously.
“A princess should have the common courtesy not to question the contents of strange dishes offered to her by strange people.” Discord huffed. “But if you must know, it contains gilorgleberries, obviously, ripened under a harvest moon, stewed for thirty four days and eighteen nights in a broth of litchseed oil and hangman’s tears and garnished with the crushed carapaces of troll grubs less than a sweep old. Truly an adventure for all the senses.”
Twilight hesitantly took a bite and found herself almost immediately floored by rapidly changing colors, the taste and smell of rancid fish glazed in sadness, the sensation that thousands of tiny ants crawling under her skin and the sound of whales being dragged across half a mile of sandpaper by a particularly foul mouthed troll.
“Ack!” Twilight cried, spitting the pudding all over the floor. ‘Th-that’s just-”
“Awful.” Discord agreed. “Isn’t it just the most horrible thing you’ve ever eaten?!” Discord took a heaping bite and convulsed for a few moments as the pudding took effects.
“Ooooh that was thoroughly unpleasant.” Discord sighed. “Now then, Twilight Princess, I expect you didn’t just come down here to sample my otherworldly cooking?”
“It’s just…I didn’t see you today.” Twilight said.
“You didn’t see me yesterday either.” Discord said. “You go entire seasons without seeing me but I didn’t hear you crying about that.”
“Well…today was kind of significant.” Twilight said.
“Really?” Discord, tapping his chin thoughtfully. “I can’t imagine why…oh, was it somepony’s birthday?!”
“Discord-”
“No, that can’t be it; I make it a point to remember birthdays so I can crash them if I’m not invited.”
“Discord.” Twilight sighed.
“Now hold on…don’t tell me.” Discord said. “Is iiiiit…ooh, did they crown another princess? Between you and me, I think there happens to be too many chiefs and not enough buffalo if you catch my drift. If Tia needs to slap another pair of wings on another poor little unicorn to help her run her country, that's her call, but I'm starting to feel like I'm in a bad standup routine! Four little princesses,oh, wait, Three little Princesses walk into a bar...”
“No, Discord, that’s not-”
“Okay, hold on; hold on.” Discord said. “I got it! You’re getting married! Oh I just love royal weddings! The cake! The reception! The merchandise!”
“Merchandise?” Twilight said.
“Royal weddings are merchandising gold mines!” Discord said. “Think of the possibilities; t-shirts, mugs, commemorative platters, Princess Twilight Royal Wedding Playset and Mini-Bar!”
“Discord.” Twilight growled.
“Ohhhhh who’s the lucky stallion?” Discord cooed.
“Discord!”
“Sorry; who’s the lucky mare?”
“Discord!”
“The lucky...sheep?”
“Discord!” Twilight barked, horn sparking in irritation. “I am not getting married!”
“Now now, Twilight, it's perfectly common for brides to get cold hooves before their wedding day but you just have to remember that-"
“I didn’t come here to drink tea and gossip about my love life!” Twilight said.
“Or lack thereof in your case.” Discord muttered.
“That’s not-” Twilight took a deep shuddering breath to calm herself. “Discord…I have to tell you something. I don’t know how to tell you this but-” Twilight said. “Fluttershy…didn’t make it home.”
“I know.” Discord said. “I was here the whole time you were gallivanting about the woods looking for rainbow flaming dragon snakes or some such nonsense. Even made a nice pudding for when she came back but she never-”
“No, Discord, you don’t understand.” Twilight said, blinking her tears away. “Fluttershy had an…accident and…sh-she passed away. She died.”
Discord blinked
“Well…” Discord said.
“Discord, I know this is rough but-”
“I should hope so!” Discord laughed.
“I’m so sorry, Discord, I know you two were-” Twilight blinked. “Wait…what?!”
“Well I hope she was dead before they started cremating her because otherwise…” Discord gave a shudder and turned back to the stove.
Twilight stared at Discord for a long moment. “Discord…I don’t think you understand. Fluttershy’s…dead.”
“Uh-huh.” Discord said, picking both plates up and dumping the rest of the pudding in a plastic bowl.
“Like…actually dead.” Twilight said.
“Gotcha.” Discord said.
“I don’t think you do!” Twilight said. “Fluttershy-”
“Has ceased to be?” Discord said. “Kicked the bucket? Shuffled off her mortal coil? Rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible? I’m not a simpleton, Twilight, I understand what death means. More pudding?”
“I…I don’t understand.” Twilight said.
“What's not to understand? I asked you if you wanted more pudding soooooo the ball’s pretty much in your court now.”
“How can you…how can you just stand here and say that so casually?!” Twilight said angrily.
“Is there a formal way to ask someone if they want seconds?” Discord said. “Forgive me if I’m behind on royal etiquette but-”
“She was your friend!” Twilight screamed. “She cared for you when no one else would; she actually liked you for crying out loud and you…you don’t even care that she died!”
“But that’s what ponies do, Princess.” Discord said. “They die. If they didn’t we’d have run out of room a long time ago! We’d have to stack ponies all the way up to Cloudsdale to save space! If I cried my eyes out over every pony that shuffled off, I wouldn't have time to do anything else!”
“But sh-she was your friend!” Twilight yelled. “You two lived together for almost a year! And now you’re just standing there with your…your wretched cooking, pretending like you’re not even sad that she’s gone!”
“Who’s pretending?” Discord said. “What makes you think that I’m lying about not being sad?”
“I don’t believe that.” Twilight said. “I can’t believe that after all she did for you, all the times she stuck up for you that you don’t have a shred of sympathy for her!”
“Oh au contraire mon princesse, I had nothing but the deepest respect and affection for Fluttershy.” Discord said
“Had?!” Twilight shrieked.
“I…changed my mind.” Discord said.
“You…you what?!” Twilight bellowed, knocking over the bowl of pudding with a blast of stray magic.
“I changed my mind!” Discord said. “I mean…look, you like music, right?”
“What in name of-”
“It’s like…a pop song you hear on the radio.” Discord said.
“Discord, I swear, you have two seconds to start explaining yourself before I blow a hole in your-”
“And no matter how much you like the song, after a while it gets…repetitive.” Discord said. "Boring even."
“Boring?” Twilight mouthed in disbelief.
“Nothing’s changed, really!” Discord said. “It’s just one morning you wake up and the song is off the radio…and for some reason, you don’t particularly care about it enough to listen to it again. You move on. Find another song.”
“That’s…that’s all Fluttershy was to you?!” Twilight said, eyes flaring with magic. “A cheap pop song that you stopped caring about when it stopped amusing you?!”
“I’m the spirit of chaos, Twilight!” Discord said. “Capital C. Capital H. Capital A-O-S. I don’t even know what I will or won’t care about from one moment to the next! I may be inconsolable in a few minutes but right now…I can’t say I particularly care all that much. We had some laughs but...eh” He shrugged.
“I thought you had changed.” Twilight said bitterly. “She convinced me, swore to me, that you had changed when you’re really just the same old snake in the grass that you always were!”
“I did change.” Discord said. “Then I changed back. I might change again tomorrow, if I feel like it. Or not. We’ll see.”
“You never even cared about her at all, did you?!” Twilight said.
“What did you come here for?” Discord said. “Do you want tears? Do you want me to cry for you, Princess? Want me to pull out my beard and strike my breast and wail like a dying basilisk over p-poor sw-sweet F-Fluttershy?”
“I came here looking for some proof that Fluttershy’s kindness wasn’t wasted on you.” Twilight said. “I can see now that this was a waste of time.”
“I wouldn’t call it a waste of time.” Discord said. “We had a few laughs, had some good conversation, sampled extradimensional cuisine. All in all, a good evening in my book.”
“To hell with your book and to hell with you!” Twilight spat, sniffing miserably. “Just…get out of here. I don’t ever want to see your ugly face in this town again, let alone in Fluttershy’s house!”
“Okay, okay.” Discord said, holding his claws up. “No need to get your tail in a twist, little Princess. I was planning on leaving any-” The door behind Twilight creaked open and Discord promptly swept himself into another bow. “Oh my, two royal visits in one day?!”
Twilight stiffened as she felt a familiar and unwelcome warmth at her back. Turning around she saw Princess Celestia stoop her head in the doorway to enter the tiny cottage.
“Twilight.” Princess Celestia said gently.
“Yes, Your Highness?” Twilight said stiffly.
“I was in talks with the gryphons when I heard about Fluttershy.” Princess Celestia said. “I came as soon as I was able. Your friends said you might be here and I had hoped to-” Princess Celestia broke off as she caught sight of Discord hovering over Twilight’s shoulder. “What is he doing here?”
“I live here, Your Radiance.” Discord said. “Or did you forget that little episode when I broke out and started chumming around with the yellow pony?”
“Twilight…I was hoping we could talk.” Princess Celestia said ignoring Discord.
“Then talk.” Twilight said cooly.
“Alone.” Princess Celestia said, glaring at Discord.
“We can talk here.” Twilight said.
“I’d rather not speak in front of this…creature.” Princess Celestia said.
“No need to get haughty on me, Your Condescension.” Discord huffed. “Twilight and I were just having tea and evil pudding over some light conversation.”
“What have you been telling her?!” Princess Celestia said sharply.
“What are you worried that I told her?” Discord said coyly.
“Turning my sister against me wasn’t enough, now you’re looking to turn my student-”
“Former student.” Twilight corrected sharply.
“Looks like Twilight doesn’t need my help turning against you.” Discord said. “And what’s this about Luna, now? Blaming another sisterly spat on me?”
“Don’t insult me, Discord.” Princess Celestia said coolly. “You know what I speak of.”
“I’m sure I don’t.” Discord said. “As Princess Bookhorse here can attest, I’ve been trying my hand…claw…whatever at domesticity lately so I’m afraid I haven’t had the time to pester you like I did in the old days.”
“I still haven’t forgotten the “old days.” Princess Celestia said. “I doubt I ever will. You may play at being tame but the things you’ve done…The Paradox War……The Day That Never Was…The Cascading Years…The Time of Tumult…Nightmare Moon’s Rebellion. Waking nightmares all of them, born from your twisted imagination. So if you think I'll turn my back on you for one moment-”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!" Discord said. “Hold the phone! I’ll own up to the first four; I’m quite proud of them, really. But you and Lu-Lu turned me into a garden gnome long before that Nightmare Moon business so don't pin that on me.”
“Your influence outlived you.” Princess Celestia said. “Do you think I’d forgive you for turning my own sister against me?! For infecting her with dark magic and-”
“Do I look like I have dark magic?” Discord said. “I have strange magic, deceptive magic, primitive magic, yellow magic, green magic, blue magic, off-white magic but no dark magic. Do you see me trailing a cape of bats and laughing menacingly about eternal night? Do you see me enslaving ponies to my indomitable will?”
“You may be no Tirek or Sombra, Discord, but it doesn’t take dark magic to take advantage of a poor filly’s loneliness for your own sick amusement.” Princess Celestia said.
“Oh…wait.” Discord said. “Y-you…think that’s my fault?! You think I had something to do with that?”
“Of course!” Princess Celestia said. “Luna turned on me barely three months after your exile. My beloved little sister became the stuff of nightmares and tried to overthrow me; what am I supposed to think?”
“Oh of course, because Woona is a poor innocent babbu who never had an ugly thought in her little life until big bad Discord told her nasty ugly lies about her pwecious big sister.”
“I didn't come all this way to be mocked by a treacherous old billygoat.” Princess Celestia said.
“I can't help it; you make it too easy for me, Princess.” Discord said. “Ask yourself something; does eternal unchanging night sound like something I’d want? Do you think I wanted to trade one nigh-omnipotent stick in the mud pegacorn for another?”
“I think you only wanted to sour my relationship with my sister!” Princess Celestia fired back. “It doesn't matter what you say!"
"The defendant isn't even allowed to speak up in his own defense?!" Discord said. "Oh, that's justice for you; how benevolent is our Glorious Leader that she passes sentence before the trial starts."
"Luna herself confirmed my suspicions when she returned." Princess Celestia said. "She told me how your influence caused her to become jealous of me and strive to overthrow the sun!”
“Then Luna lied.” Discord said icily.
“Are you…are you calling my sister a liar?!” Princess Celestia bristled.
“Heavens, no!” Discord said, throwing his hands up. “Actually…wait…yeah, that’s exactly what I’m calling her.”
“Discord…” Princess Celestia hissed, eyes flashing orange.
“Well what else am I supposed to call a pony that habitually lies to her sister’s face if not a big fat liar?”
“By the Furies, Discord, if you don’t hold your tongue…” Princess Celestia warned. The room became uncomfortably warm and Twilight edged away from the princess as her eyes flashed with dangerous intent.
“I’m sorry to be the one to break this to you, Celestia.” Discord said. “But the truth is, I had nothing to do with Nightmare Moon.”
“More lies.” Princess Celestia hissed with a voice like cold water splashing on a hot griddle.
“It’s always been so easy to pin your woes on me, isn’t it?” Discord sneered. “Because it's easier to pick on the freak than admit the truth.”
“You have never spoken a true word in your wretched life; don't pretend to start now!” Princess Celestia said.
“The truth is,” Discord said, locking eyes with Celestia. “That your innocent baby sister didn’t need my help to hate you. And you don’t want to accept the fact that it you had more of a role in creating Nightmare Moon than I ever did.”
“Shut your lying mouth, Discord, before I-”
“You can’t accept the fact that your relationship with your sister is based on a lie.” Discord said. “A lie meant to smooth things over with you and keep you blinded from the truth…rather deceptive, really. Makes me wonder how much of Nightmare Moon is still kicking around Luna’s little-”
Princess Celestia shot forward in with a bright flash of light and a smell like burning dust. With one hoof she lifted Discord and slammed him against the wall, mane blazing with reds, oranges, and yellows and eyes burning like wildfire.
“Go ahead...say it!.” Princess Celestia seethed, tongues of flame spitting out of her mouth with every word. “I dare you to finish that thought and I swear I will burn you until there is nothing left to burn! I will burn you until the shadow of where you stood is burned into the ground forever as testament to what happens to foolish snakes that run their mouths! So go on; finish that little thought. Say your pithy quips. See what happens!”
“Now, now, no need to get testy Tia.” Discord said, cool despite the white hot flames licking his beard. “You’re starting to singe the curtains.”
Princess Celestia looked noticed the small wisps of smoke rising from the edge of the curtain and quickly stamped it out with the corner of her hoof. Another patch of flame sprung up on the couch and Twilight doused it with water from the sink only for the couch cushions to spring into amber flame. Twilight contained the couch fire in a magic bubble but it had already spread to the coffee table and the carpet and the bookshelf. Twilight took a deep breath and summoned a magically fueled gust of wind but to her dismay it only irritated the flames further.
“Sunfire’s not that easy to get a hold of in the best conditions.” Discord said mildly, picking his teeth while Twilight rushed around trying desperately to save her friend’s house. Princess Celestia dropped Discord to the floor to try and help Twilight but the heat coming off her mane and tail ignited a houseplant which set the entire ceiling on fire. “I imagine a raging fire is even harder to control when your tailfeathers are rustled.”
“Twilight, we have to go!” Princess Celestia called over the roar of the flames.
“No!” Twilight cried, wrenching the sink from its piping and aiming the water stream at the fire in the kitchen. “I’m not leaving!”
“Twilight, this house is coming down!” Princess Celestia said as Fluttershy’s bed fell through the burning ceiling. Princess Celestia closed her eyes and once again tried to take hold of the fire.
“Then leave!” Twilight said, smashing a window to draw water in from the creek only to have a backdraft blow her back into the living room.
“You may want to listen to Tia on this one, Twilight.” Discord said. “I got her too hot under the collar to do much about this fire.”
“If you’re not going to help, Discord, then kindly SHUT UP!” Princess Celestia barked, causing a fresh torrent of flame to shoot off her tail blow away the crumbling staircase. “Twilight, please, we have to go!”
“I’m-cough-not-cough-leaving!” Twilight coughed. “I can save her house at least!”
“Twilight, it’s gone!” Princess Celestia pleaded.
“I can save it!” Twilight cried. “I can still save her house!”
“Twilight!”
“I CAN STILL SAVE HER-!” Twilight cried as the ceiling around her came down in flames.
“Twilight!” Princess Celestia cried. Shooting a baleful look at Discord, she jumped over the burning wreckage of Fluttershy’s cottage and grabbed Twilight by the scruff of her neck dragging her out the front door and away from the blazing ruin of Fluttershy’s cottage.
“Let me go!” Twilight cried, struggling in Princess Celestia’s grasp. “Let go! I can fix this! I can still fix this!”
“It’s over Twilight!” Princess Celestia said softly. “I’m so, so, sorry…”
“Don’t just be sorry!” Twilight cried. “This is your fault; do something about it!”
But as Twilight turned to run back into the house, the support beams gave a final heave and collapsed under the weight of the roof. All that remained of Fluttershy’s cottage was a ruined pile of cinders and charred lumber. Twilight looked on tearfully as what was left of her friend in this world smoldered in the fading daylight.
It went up in ashes and away into the night and all Twilight could do was watch it burn.
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and yet agian my faith in celestia plummets. please please make someone on equeal fotting call her out! surley the dragons have a king or something.
On the contrary, you made Discord sound like he did care and he was sad, but he chose to remember Fluttershy as she was instead of crumbling into a heap of sadness.
2425336Why not have Chrysalis come and help Twilight in exchange for love?
Somehow it doesn't surprise me on how discord acted. Being immortal kinda does that to a person.
But wow did Celestia make it worse for herself, I'm trying to see how she can get out of this one.
Discord here is actually the only one acting right. Isn't it better to remember the happy times you had with someone than stand there depressed?
WOW!N I think that you nailed Discord perfectly! And I am really liking this version of Celestia better that canon BY FAR! (you bring out her flaws in an excellent manner)
Oh hell. Celestia, you are about to get the shitstorm of all shitstorms thrown your way
Discord is actually incredibly depressed. He probably blames himself as much as the mane 6 blamed themselves, but instead of being helped, he's seeking destruction from the only pony capable of giving it.
And of course Luna said it was all Discord's fault. Even after a time-out, little Sally still insists it was David who broke the lamp.
That's some real psycho-analysis shit right there, bro.
2425415
Twilight's really not going to let the chance to tear into Celestia pass her up
I really liked this. Yes, I would find it strange if Discord was that broken up over Fluttershy's death, given how many ponies and other mortals he's outlived and the way he copes with his long life and the boredom it provokes. Perhaps he's even hurt a bit and hiding it, but he won't let it affect him long. I'm not even terribly surprised at how Celestia responded to his taunting, because he did a good job of illustrating another fact - Celestia does treat her sister. (and perhaps Twilight), differently than she does other people.
And yeah, it'd be a good bet that both attitudes have a little something to do with something that starts with 'imm' and ends with 'ortality'.
They're an interesting contrast - Discord refuses to hang onto anything so he can't be hurt, only to make himself essentially alone and feared in the end, whereas Celestia grasps so tightly at what she considers precious that those she truly loves start to resent her, made more maddening by how easy it is to make strangers love her.
I love Celestia sooo much in this chapter.
Whatabitch.