2454532 ch2 is nearing MAHAHAHAH

Okay, well a cursory read of your story description, the second question cancels out the first, because we know he's going to go on the journey, otherwise the second question wouldn't exist.

In short, yes, I'll be your beta. lol

2852643

2852662 yunobuyshirt.nl/image/cache/data/Herfst%20Collectie/T2005%20-%20Me%20Gusta%20Mucho/Megusta_Mucho-47-650x650.jpg

2852713 back in black dude

This story has officially been deemed a Dirty Gem by The Gem Hunters

Unfortunately, your story has been graded a Dirty Iron Ore by The Gem Hunters.

Starting with the flaws just isn't my style here, so let me say what you are doing right so far.

An interesting start. It manages to raise questions in the readers about the story, and the characterization of the normal cast is okay.

Now with that out of the way, many grammar errors, misspellings, odd conversations and dialogue, and your suffering from the show and tell effect. Basically I mean that your spending more time telling us what is happening than showing it to us. Also, are the Ponies anthro, I was never really able to pick that up. If they are, some physical descriptions of their new form is always appreciated, if not, ignore this. Finally, as advise for your future chapters, try not to make your OC into a total badass, no matter how much you may like. It will benefit you in the long run if you try to make him more normal. Granted he could be more normal for dragons of his type. Really think about his personality as well, as that could make or break fans for an series when it comes to the characters they create.

This would require a good amount of TLC, and definitely some elbow grease, but it is salvageable and if there is an improvement, I will have no problem bumping you up higher on the list.

3733697 the antro is a evolshen change that happens later

3733697 thax man

3733820 Of course. Some extra advice I can offer is to try and find an editor to go over your story. There are several good groups for such, but ask around for a bit. Your story doesn't seem as unpopular as your rating makes it out, no offence, so just ask about. With the right touches, who know.

3734141 still working on guys who will stay and help

Ya know,3734194 I an working on a story.
You could put this story in google drive, and share the URL with me.
I could help ya with this.

3758790 much apershated but how do i make it a googel doc

3758868 do you know how to make a google doc?

3758928 nope

3759006
Go to google chrome
Go to Google drive
Click create
Click create document
copy and paste your story text to the document
Next, you will set how to veiw the document.
It's set to private, so you have to change it to the one that says veiw public via link.
Send the link to me via private message.
If you don't know how to do this, I'll do it tomorrow. If you want me to do it, tell me now

F

3825521

3825521 do you want to help?

This story has been reviewed by the Blunt Reviews Group

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3887605

3937426 already written but needs check you willing to help?