The last thing Twilight expected to find waiting for her in her library was Gilda. Even more surprised was that the griffon had come to see her, trying to make amends with Rainbow Dash and save their friendship.
Twilight, the number one expert in friendship, is more then willing to help. The last thing she expected to happen was to find herself getting closer to Gilda with each passing day, or that the griffon would share her feelings.
Editing by SSJ3Mewtwo
Based on the original Misperceptions by Arbiter Balemead.
Chapters (9)
I can't let my personal bias against certain shippings lead me to thumbs down this. Your writing sets a definite tone, is nicely worded, and very pleasant to read. You've got a thumbs up from me ^_^
So why rewrite this?
not that I am complaining mind you. I loved the first one
2150927 I loved the first one as well, sadly the original author has stated they don't want to work on it anymore so I thought I would give it a go. Luckily they were more then willing to give me the okay to rewrite it, otherwise I wouldn't have.
Well I am glad to see it back. as much as I loved the first one it did feel a little rushed. I hope this one will turn out even better,
ANd if you ever need a helping hand feel free to send me a Note,
2151844 You maybe should re-read it again. "Twilight tried to hide the small smile that fluttered over her lips." I think i saw 2-3 other parts like that where a word is missing.
Here are 2 little errors. " If they can't accept you can't accept them..."" My English isnt the best and my grammar is even worse but this doesnt sound right to me and "That what can I do?"" i think it should be Then.
2168106
The problem with being your own editor is that your mind will fill in the words you forgot to write. Thanks for the heads up, I'll get them corrected. :)
this one is looking to be a lot better then the old one. I love it! the plot is deeper, and the building between them is so much better and much less random I thinks its sad that this story is not getting better press
I am still mad this story is not getting the love it should be. you are doing a great job with it. please don't let you lack of readers stop you form writing more of this.
2249084
You never know what the future might bring.
As for the story, I'm somewhere in the middle of Chapter 8 or 9 (can't remember off the top of my head) and getting into 100% original stuff, so we'll see how it goes from there. :)
memecrunch.com/meme/1RKD/please-sir-i-want-some-more/image.png
2282759
I believe the word you are looking for is verbatim, and from a structure standpoint it is, but there is quite a lot of smaller changes and new details in it. In fact the flashback is loaded with foreshadowing.
Oh, and thanks for all the comments on the story!
oh spike your going to be walking in on allot more soon.
Oh thank the moon. I was have such a bad night. thin you updated. Thank you!! this was just what I wanted!
*Gait.
It's spelled "gait", meaning a style of walk.
2319835
Opps, thanks for telling me, I got that fixed!
Also, nice avatar ;)
Excelle--HNNNNNGH!
"...leaving the two woman unsure whether it was for them or for the pegasus."
Women. With an 'e'.
I'm sure it's just a typo this is a great story
yay for more!! Like all of the yay!
I like this version much better than the original because while it follows the same events as the original you give it your own flavor that makes it more. I also want to let you know that Sweet Apple Acers is actually spelled Sweet Apple Acres.
I like it, but you might want to consider getting an editor, and going over and editing some of the small spelling errors in the first couple chapters.
nice story. good read. will continue.
"aged and warn" should be "aged and worn".
"Twilight sitting on a small on a small hear nearby" --> "Twilight sitting on a small hill nearby" perhaps?
again, "worn", not "warn".
onward to the next chapter.
All caught up. Liked and Favorited.
Agreed, you could use an editor or proofreader.
Neithor => Neither
I wish you luck in continuing this legacy, dood.
I'm super excited to see Gilda and Twilicorn, if this goes that far.
My my... usually I'm not bugged by errors, but there are just so many in this chapter. You should really REALLY get yourself a pre-reader or two.
Otherwise I'm interested where you are going to take this ;)
all of the dawwwwww's I can give
Aww at least have Gilda have a meet and greet with twilight' family and celestia. Oh just imagine the situations that would bring to the couple.
why is it the end? you can do more! like Twilight taking Gilda to meat her parents, or her brother! what if Twilight's mom or Dad hates Gilda! Or maybe a anti Griffin group messing with them! it cant be over!
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Well this is the end of this story, but there will be at least one follow up that will get into the issues of being a couple as well as Gilda's back story and other issues. Don't worry I'm not done with these two yet, just with this story.
2423964 ok I will be keeping an eye out for that then. DO NOT disappoint theprimochocolatepony cuz bad things happen when you do...naw nothing really happens actually.
Well this is a pairing I'd never really considered before reading this but now I think it is surprisingly adorable.
You actually make me change my OTP, I've read the v1, but your version is much better
reuploaded but still to be edited fully, I honestly wonder if you are going to add that sequel you promised?
2648336
I haven't gotten to reupload it yet but that editing is coming along. And I am working on the sequel, I just like to have it mostly written before I start posting. ;)
2648495 ah ok anyway I think one of my favorite ships is this one, now if only I could find a clop fic between them my collection will be complete, or If I actually get far enough in my story I can write the clop myself. heh
anyway good read all around.
2648690
Well... I can't comment on clop fic... though if you find any don't be afraid to share.
2652262 Oh don't worry I will share.
Sounds epic for some reason.
also you messed up smile and small somewhere in there
*Grins and applauds* Very cute fun fic. It was done very naturally and I applaud you for it. I'd suggest you find a proofreader though because there a lot of typos. Either way very cute fun.
Awesome story. Not a pair I ever really considered but it turned out really well. Good job. I can't wait for the sequel. I hope you start posting it soon.
Added to the Gilda Shipping group. The original story was there, but this one was not - it was seriously bugging me.
By the way, the story is fantastic. I am not entirely convinced that it needs a sequel, but it certainly would not hurt.
well done, I liked your version of this story better then the original, it was more thought out and seemed less rushed to be completed, also with the Gen 3 pony, very sneaky I almost didn't catch it. I read the name 4 times before I went really a gen 3 no way.....so bravo and im looking forward to your sequel
Feo review!
The good:
Brings together two very different characters without sacrificing what makes them interesting. Gilda and Twilight are surprisingly cute together, and their romantic scenes are genuinely tender.
A sad story that doesn't hit the standard tear-jerker tropes. In particular, I was thankful you went for Gilda with a guilt complex instead of Gildabuse--the latter's marginally more interesting than Scootabuse, but it's still a cheap, easy answer for why Gilda acts the way she does.
The bad:
Pardon me for asking, but are you dyslexic? I saw a lot of letters swapped around inside of words (for instance, you often wrote "could" when you meant "cloud.")
Mark Twain once said the difference between the right word and the almost-right word is like the difference between lightning and a lightning bug. This story needs an exterminator. (Seriously, "pallet" in place of "palate"?)
The verdict:
Thumbs up for shippy goodness, but get yourself another proofreader for the next one.
3786734
Well Gilda has a lot of family issues and depression that in the past she coped with by being a bully and trying to bend the world to her way of thinking. We'll see more of this not in the next story, but the one following it. If I want to be honest I'm probably projecting a quite a bit as well.
As for being dyslexic... funny you should ask that, but no I'm not. Though I've just had trouble with some spell issues all my life. To make it worse I have two editors and a lot of stuff still gets through. It makes it challenging sometimes.
My only complaint is that I noticed s few parts where you referred to them as " women" and used "everyone" instead of "everypony". I noticed a lot of readers are quite fond of the ponyisms. It lends to the immersion of the tale. So just a minor nitpick. Other than that it really looks promising! I really enjoyed this and am eager to read more. Keep up the great work!
"an jerk" should be "a jerk", 'a' only becomes 'an' when the next word starts with a vowel otherwise its 'a'...
and for the record i have no idea why this alone caught my attention and bugged me so much...
5106852
Fixed it for you. :)
And thanks for catching it. I know how those little things can just grate.
4749500
Ponyisms have their place, but when there are more than just ponies around (such as Spike or Gilda, or even Zecora), it's better to use the proper grammatical spelling of such words.