Where has my princess gone? Why do they hate her? What do I do? I will fight for her and one day tell the princess how I feel or die trying!
(First person story)
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Poor her.
Poor him...
YEAH, Princess Luna is best Princess, this story ROCKS keep going, chapter two please?
Hey thanks everyone. This is my first story and I'm glad you all like it. There is a funny story behind this. This all started with me being bored in night school. I had a note book with me and I opened it to a blank page and wrote one sentence. That one sentence turned into a full page. On the next page, I started adding spoken words and details. The next thing I know I was tuning out of class just to write this story. Im 21 pages in and still writing. Im typing the next chapter now and i will try to have it done by the end of the week.
Is this the end? Or is it only the beggining. I can't believe I just said that.
Is it over?
It says incomplete but that almost seemed like an ending.
Wow, that random stallion he met was a huge character development point. Good job random pony, you made the main character contemplate about his love and encouraged him to fight for her. Good job
It's good to see the plot moving forward but I can tell that this may end in tragedy
2268985
Thanks Sorry for the late update. Life caught me off gaurd the last couple of weeks. It has just been a long 2 weeks
A few typos lying around, but overall it was a good chapter to act ads a transition in the plot.
Wow I just read the whole thing and would you tell me something?
2310842
What
Nice story dude
2417547
Thanks
All in all so far your doing quite good compared
to how most stories are done about luna but if I could say one thing I would like more, then it would be to ask u if u could possibly make your stories longer than what they already are. . . . . . . So far so good dude and very nice so thax
Kind of glad the NLR didn't become a thing in this story (yet at least), I just don't like the idea most of the time, but there are a few people who can pull it off good luck if that becomes relevant?
was the note in the book a resident evil reference? Also "they know not what they do", from the bible yes?
2510874
The resident evil thing: I didn't know that was in that story.
The bible part: It's kinda a reference but I don't really like to think of it as a reference.
2512116
the resident evil thing might have been unintentional. I was thinking of in the first game where you read a note where the researcher slowly goes insane and becomes a zombie, and writes his thoughts down on paper as he regresses.
...what?
No seriously, what?
That came out of nowhere. I'd like to call it jumping the shark, but I can't as of yet. Still, I'm not really sure about it. Anyways, good if somewhat strange chapter.
Oh and it should be "An alicorn" not "a alicorn."
2688020
You will see why that's important in the next chapter. If Celestia can do it to Twilight, then she can do it to anypony. That's kind of the the theory behind it
2688847 True, but Twilight had to work for it. She had the potential yes, but she also had to learn many things before she was ready. Becoming an Alicorn is a huge thing, and Celestia can't just make anypony into one. She has to make sure they are the right type of pony. If you want it to just be that she loves Night Shade, and that's why she's making him one, then you need to develop their relationship a bit more before it's believable.
2689469
You are really going to go into full detail aren't you?
2689507 All I'm saying is that their relationship needs to be developed more before her making him an Alicorn is believable.
I'm liking this story. It became Interestng can't wait for the ending
Nice work joe, hope you can finaly finish this.
P.S. tell Patrick I said hi.
... I half-expect people to call for a sequel...
2788091 Thank you
2789264 Thanks for the thanks!
The ending seemed a little bit rushed but otherwise it was pretty good. I'll check out the sequel when it comes out. (I think you told me about it, but I forgot.)
Nice. I cannot wait for the next part.
That housing part, did you get it from a redcoat law? And did you get that protester scene from the boston massacre?
2985458 sort of. I didn't think about that until I was reading it over again. So I might have done that without noticing
2985464Sweet, i like it.
2985466 Glad you do
well this is unexpected, how long does it usually take you to write something, because my curiosity is piqued. If only because you wrote a NLR/SE story where both sides seem pretty grey and not overly morally reprehensible.
Which is a plot hardly anyone manages to write without it smelling of fanaticism
2987383 I'm taking time to read all my favorites, but I spent all day doing that and I only have 5 chapters left on the last story. So I will start typing this tonight. I just try my best to think out these chapters so that's why it's typed so well
Blue rectangular box with a light on top? I swear if that's the TARDIS...
Please add a link to the author's notes when the new story is posted.
2988020 I agree.
One amazing story I feel a sequel coming on
I loved it
This story brought tears to my eyes although I only cry when things really touch down deep. You are a great writer I have found a true star
3076531 I'm very glad I gave you that feeling.
This story is good so far
Nice,outstanding!! I loved this fic now with the sequel!