- Member Since 28th May, 2012
- offline last seen Nov 13th, 2019
StormbadgerXIII
Australian writer, drawer, and general FoE nut.
StormbadgerXIII
Joined 28th May, 2012 ·
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This is quite awesome, as I have said many-a-times. Only real errors in writing still left, even after our pre-reading efforts, are mostly concentrated in the terminal entries, so we can probably let that slide for the same reason you need pre-readers
2468076 Actually, I've decided to keep the errors in terminal entries. Ponies make errors, y'know.
Im not a military type myself but Im pretty sure that calling someone who isnt an officer sir is a good way to het reamed out, so all this Sir stuff seemed a bit off. still an intresting start.
Fucking raiders..... But then again, you can't do anything Fallout related without the sadist bastards. This is going great!
Chapter 2 and my only complaint is the speed of choosing to leave. Now that's something.
2490422 Who said the raiders were common? There were only five of them, and there's an entire region yet to explore. Nimbus might of just happened to stumble on the only group of raiders in the Vanhoover region. Or, perhaps, he may have only met one of many group hanging around. Guess you'll have to read to find out
Also, the inclusion of the raiders in that scene was less to shock the reader, but more to show the protagonist that the wasteland is harsher than he may have thought.
As for the family, maybe they weren't armed. Or, if one of them was, he or she'd probably have been killed first, leaving the innocent, unarmed ponies to their horrible fate. Raiders aren't entirely stupid, they can tell a gun from a stick.
In any case, I appreciate your honesty with your critiques (as rudely phrased as it might have been). I hope the next few chapters will prove to be more imaginative than 'raiders kill ponies'
2495660 I admit, I do feel like I did rush that bit a little. I tried to extend it out as long as feasibly possible, and I think it sort of worked. 'Sort of' being the key phrase here.
2475408 I'm no military type either. I'll have to double check, but the way I see it, in the military you call everyone above your rank 'sir' or 'ma'am' out of respect. And, if not, Final's calling Nimbus 'sir' in a joking sort of way (the proper word to describe it escapes me).
2476270 LP?
To eveyone: I'm glad you're enjoying the story
(or at least being vaguely interested in how this story could go) Your feedback helps me improve.
2497445
An enlisted person will call other enlisted personnel by rank then last name, but will always refer to an officer as sir/ma'am, for officer ranks higher ranked people are sir/ma'am, and lower ranked are rank last name.
2476270 To answer your question, as late a reply as this may be, it's set around the same time, maybe a little earlier, than the events of Fallout: Equestria.
Wonder what's gonna happen since they usually hate Enclave
I like cake
another good one
loved it and a cliffhanger 
2560812 Final's sexuality isn't actually supposed to be important. But, if you're insatiably curious about it anyway, check the Fallout Equestria wiki, I've listed it down there.
great start, I really like this kind of intro to a story. lets see if it fits
you sir have a new watcher.
Watching, just in case there's an update.
When do Queen Chrysalis and her changelings appear?
Happy asked what I was thinking since the beginning, WHAT HAPPENED TO FINAL?!?! She is my favorite character and I always do enjoy the love parts of a story. Please continue I want to hear more.
so...is this going to be continued? the last chapter was uploaded in 2013
Your book has been advertised on the new facebook group page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/foebooks/ :)