A Bullet For The Devil: Equestrian Damnation

by Kickass222urmom

Prologue

Prologue
Valentine is pronounced the same way as it is in "Valentine's Day".

“Valentine? Answer your damn comm, Agent Valentine!” a small headset screamed in a crackling voice that echoed through the underground tunnel.

“I swear, if you’ve left your comm unit behind again, I’m going to have you demoted to desk jockey!” the small headset screamed again as the person on the other side began to become annoyed.

“You wouldn’t take me off the field, Kurt. You know how valuable I am to the agency,” Valentine responded with a smug tone in his voice as he crouched down in a small passage.

“Valentine, we have far better agents than you here at Revelations. It wouldn’t hurt us to put you in a desk for awhile,” responded the voice on the headset.

“If you say so, buddy,” Valentine replied as he switched off his comm unit and stood up and popped his back.

He had been crouching there for the last half hour, waiting for something to happen. Strangely, nothing had happened, which was unusual for this place. Tunnels were usually crawling with the smaller demons, but it seemed to be dead today.

After standing up, he reached down and picked up his Cross Blade, which, as the name suggested, was basically a sword shaped like a cross, and placed it back on his back.

He quickly ran his hands over himself, making sure all his gear was still attached to him. Once he had finished checking himself, he was satisfied to know that his five pistols were still attached. He suddenly noticed that his ammo pouches were missing, but before he could freak out, he remembered that they were on the inside of his Revelations Uniform Long Coat, the only piece of clothing that he and all Agents of Revelations were required to wear. He, however, didn’t like wearing it, which is why it was currently laying on the ground next to him.

So, after putting it back on, and saying a few swears, he walked out of the small passage and into the larger part of the sewer.

The area around him was a disaster, as the tunnel was caved in at some points and sunlight shone in from the street above.

He walked down the right side of the passage till he came to the ladder he had used to enter the sewers. As he climbed upward, he thought he heard a grunt from somewhere in the darkness below, but he didn’t feel like going back down. So he continued upward till he came to the top of the manhole.

As he pulled himself out of the hole, the intense glare of the sun assaulted his face, making him squint despite his dark red tinted sunglasses. The next thing to hit him was the incredibly strong winds that had taken up an hour before.

The winds howled through the deserted buildings that stood tall all around Valentine as he stood all the way up, his white spiked back hair barely moving in the heavy winds.

Valentine looked around himself before heading off down the broken and deserted street’s of what use to be New York City.

He remembers when the streets of this city use to be crawling with people, but now it’s just the bones of those people.

“Valentine!” came a sudden and pissed of voice over his headset. “Did you try turning off your comm unit?! Again! You know we can turn it back on from here!”

“What is it, Kurt?” Valentine asked as he strolled along the broken pavement.

There was a small burst of static before a reply came. “Get back to Revelations, Cartman want’s you to investigate something.”

“Just tell me here, I don’t feel like walking all the way back,” Valentine said in a bored voice.

“He wants to talk face to face,” Kurt said through the headset.

“Fine,” Valentine said after rubbing his face. “Give me an hour.”

“You have forty minutes,” Kurt said before cutting the connection.

Valentine sighed and picked up his pace, letting his gaze roll over the buildings around him.

As of late, he hasn’t had much to do within the Agency, since they never sent him out on the big missions. He keeps getting stuck with clean up and just general sweeping. How is he suppose to make Paladin by doing all the small jobs? He was a Knight of Revelations after all, not an Apprentice!

---

ooo000<^>000ooo
One hour later

“You’re late,” Kurt said from behind his desk as Valentine walked into the main part of the Revelations Agency building.

“And you’re single,” Valentine remarked as he walked past Kurt. “The boss still in his office?”

“Yes, but he’s probably a bit pissy on you being late,” Kurt said as he began to search through a filing cabinet.

Without replying, Valentine walked past Kurt’s desk and down a very small corridor that lead to the Cartman’s office.

Upon stepping into the office, the first thing that caught Valentine’s eyes were the rolls of pictures on the walls that lined the office. According to Cartman, they were the pictures of the first people who were expected to be demons, and the reason that the Revelations Agency was started.

The sound of someone clearing their throat caused Valentine’s eyes to shift to the other end of the room where a large desk sat, and a man in the traditional clothes of an Elite Paladin stood.

“Ah, Valentine, in from the waste I see,” the man said in a low voice as he walked towards Valentine with his arms behind his back.

“Yeah, but why did you call me back here? I still had four more days to spend out there,” Valentine asked as the man stopped in front of him.

“For another request,” the man said, a smile on his face.

Valentine raised an eyebrow. “Are you serious? You just sent me out there two days ago to clear out the sewers, and now you’ve called me all the way back here just to make another request?”

“Exactly,” the man said with a chuckle as he began to walk back to his desk, motioning for Valentine to follow him.

“What do you need this time?” Valentine asked with a sigh as he walked behind him.

The man picked up a piece of paper that was resting on the desk and turned back to Valentine. “Nothing big, we just want you to go check out some reports of a demon portal that may have formed down in the factory district. We don’t want you to go through it, we just want you to tell us if it’s there or not so we can decide on what to do about it.”

Valentine gave him a hard look. “Another small job? When will you give me a job worth my time?”

“Valentine,” the man began with a smile. “Every job a Revelations Agent does is important. If we just ignored all the small things, then we’d all be either dead or worst in a short time.”

“Fine,” Valentine said after a few seconds. “But after this, can I please have at least one big job, Cartman?”

“We’ll see,” Cartman said with a chuckle. “But for now, restock and head out.”

Valentine gave a nod and made a cross on his chest with his fingers, the salute of the Revelations Agents. He then did an about face and walked out of the office.

As he passed Kurt’s desk, Kurt began to say something, but Valentine silenced him.

“Not in the mood,” he said as he made his way pass Kurt and walked into the main corridor.

He walked to the left and walked till he came to the door that was simply labeled “Armory”.

Upon stepping in, he was greeted by a cat that jumped on his shoulder from out of nowhere.

“What’s with you and jumping on everyone's shoulders?” Valentine asked as he chuckled and walked towards the caged in area that the armory’s storage was located and where the quartermaster’s desk was.

“Oh, you know,” the black and white cat said with a smile. “Just makes things more interesting.”

“Sure,” Valentine said as he reached the hole in the cage that the quartermaster would use to hand out the gear that was inside. “You’re going to hurt yourself one day, Socrates.”

Socrates chuckled and jumped off of Valentine’s shoulder and landed inside the cage. “So, what brings you to my armory? Need more ammo, or some repairs?”

“I just need to replenish my ammo supply for all five of my pistols, and a few more holy grenades,” he said as he opened his long coat to show that most of the pouches in it were empty.

“That’s easy,” Socrates said as he walked over to one of the crates on the floor.

Most people would think a talking cat was strange, and more people would think it was even stranger for said cat to own and operate a full armory. But considering the events of the past decade, it wasn’t the strangest thing to be seen.

“Here you go, enough ammo to hold you for a two full days of fighting. I threw in six boxes incase you ran out of ammo in the clips and had time to reload them. There’s also five holy grenades, and a fresh bottle of holy water, my treat,” Socrates said as he pushed a box towards the opening in the cage.

Valentine smiled and bent down to pick up the box. “Thanks, Socrates. If I find some catnip out there, I’ll bring it to you.”

“You do that, and I’ll throw all my decency to the side and purr like crazy while laying in your lap,” Socrates said with a focused look on his face.

Valentine just laughed at him and opened the box to reveal rows of clips for his pistols. He quickly placed each one in a holder inside his long coat and put the spares and the other items in the pouches on his belt. Once he was done, he put the box back in the cage for Socrates.

Socrates nodded and offered a smile. “Good luck on whatever mission you’re going on.”

“Thanks,” Valentine said as he stood up and adjusted his gear. “I should be back in a day or so.”

After saying goodbye, Valentine walked out of the armory and began to head for the main lobby, which lead to the courtyard, which finally lead to the front gate.

He had a three hour walk ahead of him before he would reach the factory district.

Author's Note:

Comments

[Shadow-Brony]

Those holy hand grenades will be useful if Val comes across a killer rabbit.

[NightmareKnight]

Well, one chapter in and I dislike the protagonist.

Also, you need to be more descriptive of settings. All you really gave us to go on were sewers and a building of the agency he works for. For all we know, it could be a hole in the ground with dirt walls.

Also, is this a crossover of anything, or is everything made up?