• Member Since 13th Oct, 2012
  • offline last seen Nov 30th, 2015

Vetnern


My name is Vetnern and I write stories!

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Ponyville lies in ruins after Twilight's latest spell goes horribly wrong. And now there is no one left but me.

My name is Fluttershy... and this is my story.

A big thank you to GeodesicDragon for proof-reading.
[Update - 22nd Feb: Extended the ending slightly.

Rewrite is postponed

Chapters (3)
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Comments ( 23 )

Wow... This is pretty intense. It's too bad that everypony's sacrifice had to end up being in vain... Good job! I too am writing a fanfic, so I will certainly let you know when it is done, so that you may comment on it as I am commenting on yours! Very sad though... :fluttershysad:

2120733 Thanks for the feedback :), Looking forward to seeing your story.

>>2120739 You'll be the first to know! I'm new to this site, so I'm excited to start!

2120758 Welcome aboard, since your new i'll let you in on a secret which I should have told everybody. Fluttershy wasn't supposed to die, I just ran out of ideas. I am working around it for a second chapter.

2120760 cool, I'm looking forward to it. Mine is going to be a tragedy as well

It seems a little rushed, but it's an interesting story nonetheless.

2121082 The story was supposed to be an extra 2000+ words longer, right after Fluttershy says "Thank You." But I decided I would finish the story in chapter 2 :)

2121096 If you "finish this story in chapter 2" it won't be a one-shot anymore, and thus it'll be removed from the group.

2121184 Oh yeah. :facehoof: Chapter 2 is cancelled.

2121197 Alrighty then.
But if you think that the chapter is good, continue the story on the same chapter. Or in another one, if you want it to leave the group.
Don't hold yourself back just for my group. Do what you think its best for your story!

2121224 I'll continue with the same chapter. I already know how it ends xD

First bit, apparently ponies have hands now.
Consistency is key.

2121352 Fixed it. (I think)

2121370
Indeed you did...

Also, there are a fair few capitalisation errors within, and because my OCD is going to kill me if I don't bring attention to at least one of them... I cannot ever imagine Dash actually saying 'by gosh'... maybe 'by damn,' but by gosh is too... polite for Dash.

Anyway, good read if a little disjointed in places.

all in all a very good story, but i think that it ended a little quicker than it should of though. could've gotten a bit more from it is all i'm saying.

Oh yeah. :facehoof: Chapter 2 is cancelled.

And that's exactly how the last 300 words feel. The idea has a great potential and it feels wrong that it got cut that short, imho. I don't complain about the quality, what's there is good, also with big potential inside. But if we could compare the physical room of the words with the dimension of the idea, it just wouldn't fit.

I think for your further writing it would be a good idea to think a bit more about what you actually want to write. If it's the end of the world into a post-apocalyptic Fluttershy, as it is now, you may want to give enough space to that idea so it can develop and grow freely. If you want to write a one-shot (as it seems to be supposed to) you may want to adjust the idea. Maybe set the focus on the farewells, extend the part of waiting in the bunker and cut off the adventure-like discovery walk in the blasted Equestria, or or or.

Anyways, I'll give you a thumbs up because I liked it overall. The style was quiet warm, too. Definitely not bad. :yay:

I enjoyed this fanfic thoroughly.:pinkiesmile: Kind of a sudden ending, but overall, it was a great story!:twilightsmile: Thumbs up! :moustache:

It's a fantastic story, I applaud you to that. Yet it seems to be rushed, and the character you chose has far too much of a personality (built by the show), for it to seem realistic. I find it difficult to see Fluttershy handle the situation in the way mentioned... Great story nonetheless!

Unrelated to the story, but SEASON 3'S FINALE WAS AWESOME!:pinkiehappy: AND SEASON 4 WAS CONFIRMED!!!

Damn... that was powerful

I like it, though Fluttershy seemed to get over the loss of her friends pretty quickly...........(Also why did she go to Ponyville if she was safe in the bunker? Couldn't she see that the town was desolate?)

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