Morning Slice

by toastman

A Goon with a Spoon

Silver was not having fun.

Of all the things ponies have invented over the years, spoons had to be the least practical. Silver Spoon had been sitting at the dining room table for a good 20 minutes now, trying her best to eat a bowl of oatmeal. If she could have her way, she'd have simply stuck her face into the bowl and chomped away, but her mother had told her that such uncouth behavior would not be tolerated, and that she would have to use a spoon like a normal pony. Silver let out a frustrated groan as her spoon slipped out from between her hooves for the 57th time.

She could understand a unicorn or even a pegasus using one. Unicorns could float the spoon up to their mouths with magic, and pegasi had preposterously dexterous wings that could wrap around the handle easily enough. Earth ponies seemed to have gotten shafted when it came to handling utensils, however. She could pick up the spoon with her mouth, but then she had no way of getting to the food at the end. Holding it between her hooves looked to be the only option, but getting the end to her mouth was incredibly awkward, and the fact that the handles tended to be flat meant that she had to put one hoof above and the other below rather than on either side. If she ever managed to get any actual food on the end, then it was a careful balancing act as she slowly, shakily moved it toward her muzzle.

Silver managed to take her 3rd bite of oatmeal. School would be starting in half an hour, and she would need at least 10 minutes to walk there. She would never finish this bowl in time. A real shame, as the oatmeal was actually really good. She contemplated shoving her face into the bowl again, or maybe licking it off her hoof. She decided against it. She was alone in the room at the time, but she was certain her mother would walk in at the exact moment she started either tactic, and she would get a stern talking to. It happened way too often to be a coincidence, and she suspected espionage.

Silver set the spoon down in defeat. Another wonderful breakfast gone to waste. She really detested these stupid utensils. She wished they had a smaller role in her life. She stood up out of her chair and walked away from the table, leaving the mostly full bowl for the maids to clean. As she walked, she daydreamed of a world without spoons and their villainy. Ponies would probably get pretty fat without the limitations of silverware to prevent them from eating effectively. Maybe spoons were a necessary evil. They were there to keep overzealous gluttons from overeating. In reality, spoons kept order and peace among the ponies, who would otherwise destroy themselves.

She decided that this train of thought, while mildly amusing, was honestly sort of stupid. She berated herself for having gotten into such a tangent as she entered the bathroom. Now that breakfast had been dealt with, it was time to face a new threat. She opened the cabinet above her sink and eyed her second biggest source of aggravation. A scowl formed on her lips as she reached toward her toothbrush.

Author's Note:

Well after an incredibly long time of doing not a lot, I've written another chapter in this story. It's pretty short, and probably not as good as the others, if I'm being honest. This was a dumb idea, I'm thinking. It's like 4:30 in the morning and I typed this up on my phone for some reason. I'll probably edit the crap out of it tomorrow to remove typos and what have you, and also make it better written in general. I went back and read the previous chapters after i wrote this one, and i can already tell there are a few things i want to be not like they are with this one. Meh, it's future me's problem now.

Comments

[Manga Shoggoth]

An interesting set of ideas, to say the least - especially the first chapter (slice of life, forsooth!) - I wish I had seen this when it first came out.

But vacuum sealed cells with steam vents? Not sure how that would work - the moment you use the steam vent it would no longer be vacuum sealed...

[Wellwater]

This story, man. I just don't know. How does this work so well? fc00.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2013/001/b/5/clapping_pony_icon___princess_luna_by_taritoons-d5prurt.gif

[Gyro Pony]

6795010
Don't question pony magic.

Derpy is a pegasus. And pegasi are masters of wind and water.

She probably has a sub-cell underneath, running on inate pegasi weather magic which infuses each cell with heated rainclouds, aka steam.