Misunderstandings, Misconceptions, Mixed Receptions
A dragon’s Journey
Ch.3
Misunderstandings, Misconceptions, Mixed Receptions
It was a bright and cheery morning, the birds sung, the critters played happily, and the sun blessed everyone with its sunshine. I hated it deeply for it. It must been a hell of a party for me to be this hungover, I’ll give Cole that much. My stomach was screaming for food, and my head was screaming for some aspirin. I gave a loud yawn and stretched my wings. Oh wait. Wings. That’s right. I was in magic pony land. There was no waking up from this one apparently. Not that I’m complaining about that though, the one friend I made completely makes up for the situation’s inherit weirdness.
Oh yeah. Fluttershy. Wonder how she’s holding up. I stretched my legs, and looked around. I found her leaning into my belly, sound asleep. D’aw. She spent the entire night with me. That’s sweet of her. I looked at my wings; they had patches of gauze and medical tape where holes used to be. I hope those heal soon, I really want to try my hand (claw) at flying. I should figure out how to breathe fire too. Last night’s fight would have over and done with within a minute if I knew either of those. I was reminded that I hadn’t eaten in at least a day by my very loud stomach. I was hoping it didn’t wake up Fluttershy, but a tiny giggle gave me the answer I needed.
“Somebody’s hungry,” she said in a sing song voice. If didn’t know better, I’d say she’s messing with me.
“Yeah, don’t really know the last time I ate was.” Technically, I knew it. It was at 7:30 yesterday morning. Or at least I thought so. Like I said, I really didn’t know for how long I passed out after I warped. And I was still trying to figure out if there were any time discrepancies. And I wasn’t sure of telling Fluttershy any of this without some sort of plan. Before I gave any further thought to the matter, my stomach kindly reminded me of the current situation. Thanks for nothing you little jerk.
Fluttershy giggled again. It was as sweet as it was grating. “I have some fish, is not much, but it should help… that is if it’s okay with you...” Hmm. Fish for breakfast. Not the most appetizing option, but it’s the only option right now.
“Alright, I’ll have some fish. Thank you Fluttershy.”
“Oh no. No need to thank me. I’m just returning the favor.”
“Favor?”
“You know… For saving my life…” She looked down and pawed the ground. She was the perfect definition of “bashful”, and it was utterly adorable. I swear I’m going to have a heart attack.
“Hehe,” I laughed. “I think this more than made up for it,” I said, pointing at my bandaged wings.
“Oh no, really, I’m just…” Her sentence was interrupted by my very impatient tummy. I gave the yellow pony a sheepish smile of my own.
“Say… How about that fish?”
“Okay,” she said between giggles, covering her mouth. She ventured into the cottage, and about five minutes later, she was pushing a crate about her size out the door. She was struggling to move it, so I decided to help her about a bit. I took the crate, which caused Fluttershy to fall on her face with an adorable squeak. I laughed lightheartedly as she picked herself up. To my surprise, she was giggling a bit herself.
“There you go, enjoy!” she said. I nodded and opened the crate. It was full of fish, and judging by the weight, at least a hundred pounds worth. I raised an eyebrow at the pegasus, wondering why she would need so much fish. I got my answer when she picked up a handful and began handing it over to a few critters far off. My stomach grumbled once again, and with a sigh, I dove in. It wasn’t particularly bad, but it wasn’t a treat either, which was good enough I guess. Maybe my taste buds adapted along with my body, whether that was good or bad was still to be determined. I downed the entire crate, feeling about half full. I turned to Fluttershy with a grateful smile. She was tending to a rabbit family at the time. She turned to me and smiled back. I noticed that all the animals where looking at me cautiously. I couldn’t blame them; I was a dragon after all. I’m guessing the only reason they haven’t ran of screaming their little heads off was because Fluttershy hadn’t done so yet.
It kind of hurt actually, knowing that I was scaring them. I’m not much of a people’s person, but I always was an animal lover. You tend to be when you were raised in a farm in the middle of nowhere. But that’s a story for another time. Right now though, I needed a way to gain this animals’ trust. I spotted a large sack from which Fluttershy was taking nuts to feed the squirrels. As carefully as my pony-size claws allowed me, I graved a handful (clawful?) of nuts and stretch it over to a family of squirrels. They obviously made a run for it, I wasn’t surprised. But I knew few tricks to gain their trust. I turned my head to the side and looked off into the distance. A little known fact about animals is that the regard eye contact with as much, if not more importance than humans. For example, if you were to stare down a cat, the cat will freeze in place. This works with all cats, including the big ones. By adverting my eyes, I’m hoping to remove a little pressure from them, kinda like saying “don’t worry, I’m not looking”.
To my slight surprise and relief, it worked. The lessening weight on my hands told me that the squirrels were taking my offer. When I didn’t feel any more nuts, I turned to see my empty hand. The squirrels were munching on their food to what a little distance away. They were sitting considerably closer though, eyeing me with equal parts of caution and curiosity. I smiled, it was progress. I turned to Fluttershy, who was staring at me with an exited grin.
Before I could say anything, she rushed me with a hug. “Oh my gosh! That was amazing!” she said, clamping on my snout.
“Uhhh… It was nothing?” I was at a lack of words. Seeing Fluttershy exited instead of her usual quiet demeanor was certainly different, if not disconcerting.
She broke of the embrace. “Oh no! It really was! You got them to trust you! It took Twilight weeks to be able to get near them, and you got them eating out the palm of your paw in minutes! It’s truly impressing!”
“Umm… Thanks?” I’d admit it was quite a feat, being a dragon and all, but it certainly doesn’t deserve this much praise, right? I mean, I’ve been around animals for the most part of my life; it’s like a second nature to me.
“Would you like to help me feed the rest of my friends?” asked in a hopeful, cheery tone.
“Uhh… Sure?” And with that, she bolted of into a shed, and brought a sack of carrots and handed it to me. She pointed to a group of rabbits a good thirty yards out. Repeating the same process as before, and with a little extra encouraging from Fluttershy’s part, I was feeding the rabbits. We repeated the process a few more times, and in no time, I was surrounded by a plethora of little critters. Some of the braver birds even perched on top of my back. Fluttershy was ecstatic, going back and forth between one animal and the other, humming happily. It was a bit weird for me, but none the less appreciated. Having a bunch forest creatures peacefully flock around me was soothing, in a way. I could see why Fluttershy would enjoy it so much. That peace didn’t last any longer, however, as a shrill cry broke the air and scattered all the woodland inhabitants.
“FLUTTERSHY! You are okay!” In the time it took Fluttershy to react, a pink blur tackled her to the ground.
“Ohmygosh you have no idea how worried everyone was when you didn’t come back from Zecora’s and we didn’t know where you were and we thought something happened to you and we spend the entire night looking for you and when we didn’t find you everyone was scared and…”
Both I and Fluttershy were utterly confused, and in the pegasus’ case, a little scared. I knew that the pink blob now assaulting Fluttershy with a verbal barrage of unintelligible gibberish was undoubtedly Pinkie Pie. The party pony was bear hugging a very nervous Fluttershy, completely ignorant to the pegasus’ weak calls for attention. Unsure of how to react, I decided to speak up, seeing as the earth pony was completely oblivious to my presence.
“Umm, excuse me?” The pink pony instantly ceased talking, and turned to me. Her eyes became the size of peas, quickly darting between me and Fluttershy. Her jaw slung open. We all stayed frozen in place, the tension was so dense one would need a saw to cut through it. And in a very stupid move, I spoke up again. “Hi…”
With a loud gasp, she shot up in the air, and in defiance of at least a dozen laws of physics, she disappeared
leaving a pony shaped dust cloud in her wake. Oh goodie, just what I need. There was no doubt in my mind that she was heading to town. Once she opened her really big mouth, the town would go into frenzy. I had no idea what these ponies could do to me, but I was sure as hell didn’t want to find out. I turned to Fluttershy; her worried expression told me that she was thinking the same thing I was. After what seemed like an eternity, I finally spoke up.
“Should we go after her?”
“Um… Maybe…”
I sighed. I knew it was going to be a long day. “Come on, we better get moving. The sooner we get to town and clear this mess up, the better.” She nodded, and we started walking toward Ponyville.
After an undefined amount of walking, we reached the edge of town. To both our surprise and worry, the town was desolate. The streets were bare, all the shops were closed, and there wasn’t a soul in sight. I was taken aback, to say the least. I’m not gonna lie, I was totally expecting a mob. I turned to Fluttershy, who was as confused and worried as I was. “Where’s everyone?” I asked.
Before she could answer me, a sudden flash blinded us both. I heard Fluttershy “eep”, and when I regained my sight, she was gone. Crap. I felt the ground rumble. Double crap. Within a matter of seconds, a mass of multicolored equines, all of them scowling at me, had gathered. There’s my mob! And here I was thinking I got lucky for once. Heh, some of them even had torches and pitchforks. I didn’t know whether to call appropriate or cliché.
Another flash erupted, and a very determined looking Twilight Sparkle and a very panicky Fluttershy stood in front of the crowd. They were soon joined by three more ponies. One was an earth pony with an orange coat, blonde mane, and a Stetson hat. Another one was an alabaster unicorn with a purple curly mane. Ladies and gentlemen, introducing Rarity and Applejack. Both were staring at me, petulantly and determinedly, respectively. The third pony was a disgruntled Pinky Pie. Why she was like that was beyond me.
Hold on a sec. We are still missing a pony. Rainbow Dash was still nowhere in sight. That all changed when I felt something wiz past the back of my head. A rainbow colored contrail shot from on top of my head towards the crowd, where it made a couple of pirouettes and landed alongside the others. There she was, Rainbow Dash, looking smug as ever. I’ll let you in on a little something. From all the ponies in the show, Rainbow is the one I dislike the most. Something about her just seems annoyingly familiar, and her smugness just rubs me the wrong way. I frowned, which at the time was a very stupid thing to do, seeing as the ponies steeled themselves.
Twilight stepped up from the group. With sheer determination, she spoke. “We don’t know why came here, but we are not letting you stay! We will not allow you terrorize our friend any longer!” Terrorize? Come on! I was feeding the freakin’ birds! I was about to retort, but as soon I opened my mouth; it was clamped shut by a glowing purple aura. I saw Twilight’s horn glowing in the same hue, and her demeanor changed to a considerably angrier tone. “We can do this either of two ways,” she continued. “You can leave peacefully and save both us and yourself some trouble, or we can kick you out.”
“Girls…” said Fluttershy in her usual meek tone.
“Shush now dear. No need to fret. The mean dragon won’t scare you anymore,” said Rarity, trying to comfort a pony that needed no comforting.
“Yeah! We’re going to kick his flank all the way back to the Everfree forest!” exclaimed Rainbow. My opinion of her wasn’t getting any better.
“But I’m not…” Fluttershy tried to rebut, but was interrupted by an orange hoof to the mouth.
“Don’t worry sugar cube, when all of this is done, I’ll get ya some of mah granny’s apple pie. There’s nothin’ like homemade pie to lift the spirit,” said Applejack with a wink.
Pinkie Pie remained quiet, deep in thought. But seems I’m the only one who noticed.
“Yes, but right now, we need take care of something,” said Twilight at the group. She turned to face me again. Her horn began to glow brighter as her face scrunched up with concentration. Then the purple aura that surrounded my snout soon covered my entire body. I could feel the ground grow further away as my entire weight was lifted into the air. I would be screaming in protest if my jaw wasn’t magically strapped in place. I opted for flailing instead. It didn’t do me much good. I could feel the energy building up around me, and I could see the unicorn’s horn glowing brighter by the second. The crowd was cheering. “Now…” Twilight spoke between clenched teeth.
“Back. Home. YOU…”
“WAIT!”
“…GAH!” And with that, I was unceremoniously dropped to the ground. Ouch. “Pinkie Pie!” Twilight screamed. “Why did you do that?!”
“He even hasn’t had his party yet!” Pinkie pie shouted.
“What?! Party for whom?”
“Well duh!” said Pinky while rolling her eyes. “Him!” she shouted while pointing at me.
“What,” said almost everyone present, in the same unison flat tone. Twilight face palmed (face hoofed?).
“Pinky,” said Rainbow, her tone carrying a certain annoyance, not unlike a parent addressing a stubborn kid. “How
many times do I have to tell you? We don’t throw parties for bad guys.”
“But he’s not a bad guy,” Pinkie countered.
“Pinkie, he’s a dragon, he’s dangerous,” said Applejack. I’ll admit that stung a bit.
“So is Spike,” Pinkie rebutted. “And he’s one of the nicest ponies I know! Well, he isn’t a pony but you get the idea.”
“This is different; Spike has been around ponies his entire life. This dragon on the other hand, hasn’t. He’s dangerous, and certainly not friendly,” Twilight half nagged, half lectured. I was about say otherwise when Pinkie beat me to the punch.
“But he’s Fluttershy’s friend!”
“What?” answered Rainbow. “Pinkie, there’s no way that he could be…”
“It’s true,” interrupted Fluttershy.
“Huh?” said all the friends, sans Pinkie.
“He saved my life,” continued Fluttershy. She turned to me, and smiled gratefully. Everyone present let out a collective gasp, and looked at me with incredulity. All except Pinkie, who looked pretty happy. Seeing that all eyes were on me, get up and sit down. Everyone stepped back when I did so, except Fluttershy and Pinkie, who walked, or Pinkie’s case, bounced next to me.
“What’s your name?” asked the hyperactive pony. I looked at her, and then at the crowd, and answered in as a cool and collected voice I could muster.
“My name is Jackson Hail.” The crowd cringed a little. I could see why, I just noticed how booming my voice had become. Must have something to do with having a throat the size of an oil pipeline. In a more controlled volume, I finished. “But you can call me Jack.”
I looked away from the crowd and lowered my gaze to the two ponies sitting next to me. One was smiling proudly, and the other beaming with excitement. I turned my attention back to the crowd. They were still acting nervously, but considerably less hostile. The rest of the group of friends approached us cautiously.
“Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you, uh, Jack,” said a nervous Twilight, obviously forcing a smile. She, Rarity, and Applejack looked unsure, and Rainbow Dash was eyeing me suspiciously. “I’m sure that anypony who is a friend of Fluttershy’s is a nice, eh, dragon,” she finished. The only way it could sound more unconvincing is if she had big sign that said “don’t eat me” over her head.
“Well thank you, uh…” I doubted there for a moment. I was about to call her Twilight, but I realized she hadn’t introduced herself yet. If I called her by her name, then I would need to come up with a lie as to how I knew it. I wasn’t ready to tell them the full story just yet and much less about My Little Pony. I didn’t want to be responsible for breaking their minds.
Lucky for me, Twilight picked up on my doubt, and although she misinterpreted what I was thinking, it was for the best. “My name is Twilight Sparkle, protégé of Princes Celestia,” she said. “And this Applejack…”
“Howdy,” said the farm pony, tipping her hat. She still looked rather nervous, if not a bit suspicious.
“Rarity…” continued Twilight.
“A pleasure to meet you Mr.… Uhm, Hail, was it?” the alabaster pony said. I nodded. No doubt the name sounds weird to them, specially coming from a dragon.
“Pinkie Pie…”
“HI!” shouted the pink sugar mass.
“And Rainbow Dash.” The pony in question scoffed. She got with a couple inches of my face and whispered in an angry tone.
“I’m watching you.” My eyes narrowed as did hers. It was obvious neither of us liked each other. We locked stares for a few more seconds, before Twilight continued.
“And you’ve already met Fluttershy.”
I broke off from my little staring contest and looked down at Fluttershy. She looked nervous, but was smiling none the less. My expression instantly softened, my aversion for the speedster completely forgotten. I turned to face everyone again, nobody said anything, and everything was deadly quite. I could have sworn I saw a tumbleweed roll by.
“So… What now?” someone asked from the crowd. Pinkie gasped loudly.
“I completely forgot! I have a party to plan!” exclaimed Pinkie. She bolted off in a random direction.
“Umm, I could give you a tour of Ponyville… If that’s okay with you,” Fluttershy said.
“Hmm. That sounds nice, I guess…” A tour did sound nice. But then again, the entire town was rather… Apprehensive about my presence.
“Well, ah have business to tend to back at the farm,” said Applejack. She turned to Fluttershy with a worried look. “If ya need me for anythin’, just holler. Alright?” She might be the Element of Honesty, but let me tell you that trust isn’t part of the package. Can’t say I blame her though. She trotted off to the farm, along with a thinning crowd.
“Hmm, I need to get going too, I’m afraid. I still need to finish this week’s orders.” Rarity turned to leave, but stopped and looked over her shoulder. “Again, pleasure to meet you, Mr. Hail.” And then she left. She didn’t sound as nervous, but I could still tell she didn’t exactly trust me. Again, I can’t really blame anybody for that.
Next to leave was Rainbow Dash, who just whispered something to Fluttershy before she shot up to the sky. That left me, Twilight, and Fluttershy. The unicorn turned to me, nervousness still apparent in her face, but a glint of curiosity showed through. “I’ll head to the library. There are a few things I need to take care off. But feel free to step by later. I would like to ask you a few questions, if you don’t mind.”
“Hmm… Alright, sure.” Twilight smiled faintly and departed. I felt the need to refuse, but at I didn’t want to raise any suspicion. I turned to the last pony left, and asked “So, how about that tour?” Fluttershy beamed and we set off.
That’s when I took first good at the town. It looked exactly as it did in the cartoon. And by that I mean a collection of colorful, crooked, thatch roofed buildings. I couldn’t help but feel a tinge of worry. Most of the houses there were half timbered structures, two stories high, and the second one usually overhanging the first. I couldn’t help but wonder how the hell these things held themselves together. I listened as Fluttershy explained what each building was and who lived in it, taking mental notes about the different structures, running different calculations on how they could fail.
You’re probably thinking I’m a jerk for saying such things, but remember one thing: I study to become an Architectural Engineer. It is within my field to build the safest, longer lasting buildings I can, so trust me when I say that these things did not look good. The design seemed almost random, windows and balconies placed with no sense of structural support or even uniform aesthetics. I dismissed their implausibility as some sort of cartoon physics, trying to dispel my fears. It didn’t work.
We continued the tour, Fluttershy pointing out things of interest along the way. As we made way through the conveniently wide streets; I couldn’t help but notice the weary looks I was getting. I had a suspicion that Fluttershy was taking a bit of the edge off their fears, but I still felt kind of threatened.
That train of thought was cancelled as the smell of fresh baked sweets reached my nose. Sugar Cube Corner is as colorful and cheery as it is in the show. I took special interest in the roof, and more specifically, on the material it was made off. It wasn’t gingerbread, but it looked rather realistic. I took a mental note to ask Pinkie about it later. Other than that, the building wasn’t much different than the rest surrounding it, meaning it was a structural nightmare. From the inside I could hear Pinkie Pie singing something about cupcakes, and the clattering of multiple metal bowls. She must have been getting ready for whatever party she was planning for me.
Next up was Carousel Boutique. I was happy to say that I actually kind of liked this one. I wasn’t too hot on the décor, but I found the architecture itself interesting. It could easily be put on top a cathedral tower. And it was one of the few buildings that seemed solid. I noticed a pair of olive green eyes peering out the window. They retreated shortly after. I raised my eyebrow in suspicion and curiosity, but quickly dismissed it.
Our next stop really took the cake. The town hall, a circular structure in the middle of town, was easily the best. It was a half timbered structure, like the rest of town, but it also had beautiful gothic style windows and a roof that slopped perfectly. It was quite well made compared to the leaning homes surrounding it, and it was also quite aesthetic. I need to get hold of a copy of the blueprints.
After about half a day, we reached last stop, the library, and to be honest, there’s not much I can say about it other than the obvious fire hazard. The actual building was carved out of the tree, with a few balconies built on top of the branches. A carpenter or a sculptor would have a better word out of this than me.
As we approached the end of our tour, the library’s door slammed open. From within, a tiny purple and green lizard ran through, a lavender unicorn giving chase. “SPIKE!” the unicorn yelled. Spike, Twilight’s dragon assistant, made a beeline towards Fluttershy and me. He skidded to a stop a few feet from me. He looked up, aw apparent in his face. Twilight was standing a little further away, looking at the scene with fear and anxiety.
“Whoa…” he said. I could feel a smile creeping up my face. I’m a sucker for unspoken praise.
“’Sup little dude” I called.
“So you are the guy who saved Fluttershy…” He’s admiration was threatened to cause my ego to swell near bursting lines.
“Yup." I turned to Fluttershy, her usual shy smile in place. Spike followed my gaze back to Fluttershy, his eyes widening when he saw her.
“Oh! Sorry Fluttershy, I didn’t see you there!” He’s eyes were darting between the pegasus and me. I could not fathom what he was thinking.
“It’s quite okay Spike, I don’t mind,” the yellow pony answered. Twilight approached us. She seemed to breathing relatively normal now, but she was still trembling a little. She walked up to me with a forced smile.
“I’m sorry” she said. “I hope Spike isn’t bothering you, I’ll just…”
“Hm? Why would I mind?” I interrupted. Her eyes widened in surprise, and my eyebrow rose in curiosity.
“You… Don’t mind?” she asked in incredulity. “But… Dragons are supposed to be extremely territorial! For one to see another in its territory would…”
“Technically, I’m in his territory I believe.” I interrupted again. The little dragon’s face displayed a mix between awe, and pride, and utter joy. “I don’t really want a fuss over such things.” Twilight was utterly confused. I wish I had a camera, that face was priceless. I smirked before I continued. “Besides, as far as I can tell, neither of us is what you can call a ‘normal’ dragon.”
“I, uh…” Hehe. She was speechless. It filled my heart with a warm, fuzzy feeling.
“Anyway, I do believe you wanted to ask some questions?”
That snapped her out of whatever train of thought she was having, and nodded. “I was wondering if you two could tell us what happened last night.”
Hmm. I wasn’t too sure I wanted to answer that one by myself. That mean I would have to explain my presence in the forest. I turned to Fluttershy, and signaled her to begin. She stuttered a bit, but proceeded to tell of her little misadventure in the forest. I picked up the story when we reached the point where we entered the clearing, Fluttershy becoming a little shaken up at the memory. About twenty minutes later, we finished the story. I tried veering off some of the more touchy-feely stuff, but Fluttershy didn’t. It ended up with a content pegasus, a teary eyed unicorn, an impressed yet slightly irritated hatchling, and a somewhat embarrassed me. I was never particularly inclined to tell people of such moments.
Wiping of a tiny tear, Twilight turned to me smiling, all traces of doubt gone. “That was a really nice story, Jack.”
“Ehm, thanks…” was all I could say, while scratching this weird itch in the back of my neck.
“Nice!?” exclaimed Spike. “Just ‘nice’? It was awesome! He pummeled a pack of timber wolfs with his bare claws! He could have burned them to the ground, but no! He didn’t take the easy way out! He fought them on even ground, and won!”
Even ground? That’s debatable, but looking back at it, it was quite badass if I say so myself. Fluttershy seemed to agree, and so did Twilight. But then a thought seemed to cross the unicorn’s face.
“Excuse me Jack, Spike just brought up a good question. If you don’t mind me asking, why was it that you didn’t burn them?”
“To be awesome! Duh!” said Spike, like if he was stating the most obvious fact.
“Errr…” was I managed to say.
“But it doesn’t really make sense though. If you were so worried for Fluttershy, why didn’t you burn the timber wolves? Or why didn’t you fly away? You’re young, but you should be capable of flight.
“I… uhh, you see, ehh…” Dammit. This really sucks. I usually pride myself in being a very good liar, but coming up with a good excuse after a line of logic that destroys every possibility of any lie being possible is really difficult, if not impossible. I shifted nervously while I inspected the surroundings for possible escape routes. I turned back to Twilight, and angry scowl replacing all past hints of happiness. Spike was next to her, looking at me with a mix of worry and suspicion. Even Fluttershy looked at me weird. That’s when the unnerving feeling that you got caught with your hand in the cookie jar settled in. There’s no way out of this. I either spewed a half-assed lie, and lose the one friend I made, or tell the truth and risk getting tossed into a room full of ponies with white lab coats and scalpels.
I sighted. Unluckily for me, only one option had a chance of not ending badly. Seeing as I could not weasel my way out of this one, the only thing left to do was tell the truth. I looked around once again, but for onlookers rather than escape routes. Seeing none, I turned back at my present company. I noticed Twilight’s horn was glowing ever so faintly.
“Can we speak somewhere with a little more privacy?” I asked.
Twilight’s face flashed a little confusion before she understood what I wanted. With a somber expression, she pointed to the library door. “We can talk inside. Nobody should be able to hear. The door should be large enough for your head.”
I nodded, and turned to Fluttershy. She was a little scared. I gave what I hoped to be an encouraging smile and nodded to the door. She nodded in response and walked inside. I took one last look around for anyone who could hear. Satisfied, I slowly pushed my head through the door. It was barely big enough for me to pass without scraping it. I signaled for everyone to take a seat. Talking in the most serious voice in the entire day, I spoke.
“Gather up little ponies, I have a story to tell…”
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Hello there everyone! New chapter and hope you enjoy!
Now, I've must admit, that I feel a bit iffy about this chapter. It's the longest thing I've written. Ever. So it's bound to be full of mistakes. There is also a few things that bug me. I feel like I put to much emphasis on the eyes. It might not be a problem, but it still bugs me. I also fear that I might screw up characterization in the near future.
Anyway, thank you all for taking time to read this, and thank you those who pointed out mistakes.
Remember, critiques are always welcome!
As awesome as ever... I like Spikes reaction to the protagonist seems legit.
Anyway I would have said TAKE ALL MY STARS But uhh... Thumbs up I guess? 
((Hate the new rating system))
I have to say this chapter went quite well, I would put more effort into this comment but I'm really, really tired.
Why doesn't he just say "I never learned to fly or breathe fire, I don't want to talk about it that much?" It wouldn't even be a lie. That aside, I'm enjoying this story. Thumbs up. I miss the stars.
Hell, could have reasoned that he didn't want to set the forest on fire. Lack of flying would have to be explained, but could be rationalized as not thinking about it.
Doesn't matter, pretty good so far.
The way I see it, a dragon that can't breath fire is very weird. I assume that since Spike wasn't raised by dragons, and only had possible tutelage by Twilight, that fire breathing instinctual. Same thing for flying. I'm also assuming that both Spike and Twilight would find that odd too. He's telling them because they are the ones who are more likely to find out. He's keeping the secret away from everyone else. And maybe I said to much. Oh well. Thanks for reading!
"It must been a hell of a party for me to be this hangover" -
"I hope those heal soon, I really want to try" - Try to stick with the same tense
Time to go to sleep...
I SHALL FINISH READING THIS CHAPTER TOMORROW!
Great job! :). Just a few tiny errors. Everything else was FANTASTIC! Way to go my man!
...Simply amazing. Very original, too, which already makes me smile
.
The fact that it's very well-written and rational (Well, as rational as a vortex appearing and transporting a human-now-turned-dragon into a world filled with colorful talking ponies can be) makes it completely awesome.
...Although, I can't help but wish that Jack would shout Fus Ro Dah. I know I would. Just to check, y'know? If anything, it was worth a try.
Or maybe that's just the Skyrim nerd in me, who knows?
Anyway, great chapter and awesome story overall. Keep up the awesome work!
♫♥I look forward to reading what happens next in your story♥♪
“Technically, I’m in his territory I believe.”
Please, dear god, please don't type Pinkie out like that again. Writing conventions are in place for good reasons, because no one can read text blobs that. Why write something no one can read? If you want to convey to me that the narrator can't understand it, tell me that instead. Heck, you can even get rushed across with spaces, just make the character speak the run-on. Grammar rules don't apply in dialogue, on readability rules.
Besides that small part my brain couldn't find the will to read, good story. Definitely tracking it.
256860
Thank you!
I'll admit that I didn't really put too much thought into that part. I don't really remember what I was thinking, but it was certainly along the lines of "make it look that she's talking way to fast". So you can say that I meant it not to be read, instead using it to exemplify her intelligibility. And now I'm just typing bull. I'll edit that along with a few other mistakes when I upload the next chapter, which will hopefully be this weekend.
Anyway, glad you like it!
This is a nice story.
Overall the characterization is consistent and is accurate enough as far as I can tell. Spelling and grammar is A-OK. Structuring has improved noticably from the first chapter.
The only complaint I have right now is that dialogue is baked into the middle of descriptive paragraphs occasionally. This might be a personal quirk, but I think it looks messy and makes reading slightly more difficult
Also, having a new speaker on a new line helps readability.
I've seen a few variants on the "human turns into creature, usually pony, upon arriving in Equestria" idea, but I have not seen one turn into a dragon previously.
All in all, interesting idea, excellent execution for a first fanfic, minor formating issues and I'll be reading.
Tracking, thumb up.
Why havent you updated yet?!
318015
In all honesty, I'm stuck. I got about half the half the chapter planned, but I can't get past the 1/5 mark. I'll try to get it done soon, but there are other things in the way first. Like complete children's book I'm supposed to write AND illustrate for my english class. So, in other words: Soon.
Just glad it isn't dead. Though given that you're doing a full children's book it should probably be:
So, in other words: Not soon.
323380
It's not that much honestly. 20 pages, with a minimum of 20 words each. Story itself it's done, I just need to shorten it to something usable (I like to write a lot). And I've enlisted my sister to help with the illustrations, so it should be done by the end of the week. And I'm still working on this one whenever I get an idea. So yeah, soon-ish.
324526
Fair enough. I look forward to it then
. Your story is one of the more unique so I was hoping you wouldn't get too bogged down.
324526 Trust me, i feel your pain. I had to write one for health class and my team mate dumped everything on me. Not cool.
319881
Soon™
-Blizzard Corporation*
*(Soon™ is a trademarked phrase belonging to Blizzard Corp. All rights reserved.)
cant wait to see how things turn out. Good luck with the children's book btw i shall twiddle my thumbs in anticipation
I'm terribly impressed Jackson didn't get the least bit miffed with ALL of the mane six. Then again, he knows the show...
ahumm If you are not having to much trouble could you maybe release some more chapters?.. if you are okay with it I mean..
Actually if this story dies I'd definitely like to see some other authors try this approach. Turning a human into a Diamond dog was really well done in Echo so I'm hoping this type of story also takes off.
391156
Oh nonono. It's not dead... Just stuck of sorts.
And for those who haven't done so, you might want to look at my journal. I would be very grateful if you did.
391369
Huh, your concept is unique enough I'm surprised you're having issues. Still PM sent.
He should just go with the whole amnesia thing if he doesn't want to tell the story of what happened to him.
Why didn't he just say that he did not want to burn or destroy any of the surrounding wildlife...
aaaaanywho, awesome story man. I hope you release a new chapter soon.
447720>>453393
There's a simple logic to that. Even if he did say he was amnesiac or that he wanted to preserve the environment, the fact still remains that he has no clue as to be a dragon. I assume that Twilight, having a dragon around for a long time, has done some research. And Spike is a dragon himself. It would be a matter of time before either that something is up with a dragon that can't spit fire. On the plus side, if he were to be honest, then he can recruit Twilight and Spike to help him. Twilight can look for a way to get him home, and Spike can teach him how to be a dragon.
Then there's Fluttershy. It's really simple really. I mean, come on! Could you lie to something like that! ->
453442 You're right, it'd be impossible to lie to Fluttershy.
453458
It would be a sin that would haunt your soul for the rest of your mortal life.
>>Coldwall
). 
Haha I never thought of it that way (shows what I know
So true that I could never lie to this
Overall I have to say that I like the story. It's pretty well written, aside from some small mistakes, and I really like the premise. I look forward to seeing more from you. I'll be waiting for the next chapter, so be kind, and don't keep me waiting long.
Moar? Jack is gonna rip that door! (Or however the line goes when Marcus Fenix says to Jack he wants a door opened.)
I was rather annoyed that he wasn't really all that affected and didn't have much at all to say about the confrontation in town, with the insults, being treated as an unrelenting threat and being manhandled by Twilight's magic like that. I can tell you I'd be more than a little annoyed, and maybe ham it up a bit just to keep the big badass dragon image.
Any luck on breaking through your writers block?
Still very jelly
-.-
I went through the comments, so I don't think it's been mentioned...But you kept alternating between "Pinkie," which is right, and "Pinky" which isn't.
I'm loving it so far though. Keep it up!
Cool story bro!
But "with an exited grin" makes no sense.
I can’t help but picture him like one of the dragons from Skyrim seeing as he would be about the same size from what's in the story so far.
He could have just said he couldn't breath fire. But then that would bring up the question why? He could come up with a sob story of how is mother died and couldn't teach them.
At first I thought Jackson Hail is a bad name for a dragon. Then I compared it to similar names (general feel). For example, Nicol Bola, and Solomon Cain. From that, Jackson Hail actually fits pretty well. Solomon Cain, Jackson Hail. Fits pretty nicely.
Me: I don't appreciate Twilight's racism.
Twilight: fuck you.
"But before I tell you my story, I have to ask all three of you to make a Pinkie Promise not to tell anyone what I'm about to say."
"Wha-wait! How do YOU know about Pinkie Promises!?" Twilight demanded.
"Take the Pinkie Promise and I'll tell you."
"ohshit"
He could have just said that his kind of dragon doesn't breath fire, that the forests magic messed with his wings and did not want Fluttershy to get hurt