Karmic Sailing

by Obvious German

Chapter 2: The Purpose of a Predator

Damn, I felt disoriented. My vision was pretty fucked up as it was split into half, and I could barely register anything that was farther than a kilometer, however I could see the swaying of leaves, the birds flying in terror from my current form and a pony that talked who currently was hiding behind a far away tree like an eagle on his prey.

Wait, what? That’s scientifically impossible, ponies couldn’t talk due to their vocal cords not being well developed enough, so what the fuck?

Then again, I just disappeared in a flash of light like some poorly written Star Trek movie. Scotty? Come back and pick me up, please? I shook my scaly snout in dismay. Snout?

I tried to talk again, only to emit a low raspy growl like that of a crocodile. I then tried to move my arms around which I couldn’t see at all. They were working alright, but they felt a little stiff. I noticed I felt as if I had something on top of me, and it hit me that it was a bony sail. What do I need that for? I didn't know, maybe I'll just find out sooner or later.

Finally, I tried to move my legs and boy, they felt really damn terrible. I ended up almost crashing onto the ground because I was busy trying to adjust myself to a body I wish not to be in right now. After a few minutes or maybe half an hour, I finally learned how to balance myself with that tail I had just discovered.

So let me get this straight, I landed somewhere pretty far away from Kendra and that dusty museum and turned into what seemed to a Spinosarus, and now I am currently facing an orange mare with a fucking Stetson after destroying a quarter of farmland.

Great, just my luck. I grumbled in my dinosaur form. Just then, I heard my stomach rumble. Oh crud, I haven’t come here just to eat a bunch of outlandish and probably sentient beings, have I? Bloody hell, I think the screaming and shit I had with that bitch and her kid made me hungry.

The pony saw that too and backed away from my form as fast as she could. I let out a hoarse croak at this sight and looked around in the surroundings. There was a far-away barn, a very dark and ominous looking forest and a town full of these things, the last two were blurry as hell due to my split vision. Damn, not a lot of choices on where to go to satisfy my hunger. The forest seemed to be the best choice, but that’ll probably take me an hour to get there or less. But what if I was detected? Nah, they'll just run away like every sensible... thing.

So I started stomping my way to the forest, trying to stay at the least, humane, as my feet accidently crushed some more of these damn trees. The barn came closer, and I could see a big red stallion trying to do… whatever farmers do as I had figured out earlier on. The orange mare I had observed earlier was cowering inside a barn, looking at me as if I was there to burn down the place like Godzilla did to Japan, and I couldn’t really blame the poor thing.

At least I had no radioactive lasers I could produce from my mouth or any super healing abilities. Only my elongated snout and the sail of mine was my interesting feature. Oh, the ability to talk? I suppose that can be counted.

The stallion halted his work, and looked around for the sounds of me stomping around. The mare gestured for the stallion to look at her, then at me. And that was when I saw the jaws of the pony literally drop onto the ground like a Tom and Jerry cartoon. That confirmed my fears; I was in the land filled with super colorful cartoon ponies as an enormous and extinct predator that I haven’t fully understood yet. What else can go wrong?

Of course, the mare had to start shrieking as per every giant monster movie. Except I was an intelligent one, not some mindless biped with three heads that shoots freaking lightning. She slammed the barn doors open and left the red stallion behind as she fled to the town beyond where I stood with my enormous form. I turned my attention back to the stallion, trying to manage a grin with my reptilian muzzle.

“Hey, buddy,” I said or rather growled, as the stallion just stared at me.

“Eeyup.” He ran away in sheer terror back into the nearby farmhouse where I could smell something being baked. I licked my snout but immediately shook it off. If I needed to do something about this awkward situation, I needed to get back home, in human form hopefully.

I continued past the barn, felling more unfortunate trees on the way to the forest I hope can provide me… food for the time being. If I was a Spinosaurus, then I was going to have to hunt like one. But unlike any of them back then, I had a human brain. Smart and cunning. But I was as slow as one, and big like one, a big problem. With my odd vision that like seeing through the eyes of a chameleon, I observed the surroundings once more.

Finally, I reached the damned forest in about 45 minutes because of the given berth of my steps and me tripping occasionally with a loud boom because I was still getting used to the legs of the Spinosaurus, and trying to balance out my tail in the process. It beckoned me into its unending vale of darkness. I wasn’t really afraid because I was only a little short of the tallest tree in that forest, with one of my monoscopic eyes, I read the words on a nearby sign. 'Everfree Forest'.

Figures, anything in this place would be pretty odd. I walked into the forest, unaware that three young fillies were watching my movement. I could only smell them rather faintly, but I screamed at myself saying they weren’t food. I needed to keep my humanity for pete’s sake, not get consumed by constant hunger to the point I would eat perfectly innocent ponies, or would I?
---

“Whoa!” said Applebloom as she watched the gigantic lizard stomp into the forest.

“Is that a dragon?” asked Scootaloo as she cowered behind a bush.

“Ah’m not sure Scoots, but Ah think that’s what we should call it for ta’ time bein’,” replied Applebloom as they continued observing its massive tail swishing back and forth.

“It looks pretty neat, wanna go check it out?” said Sweetie Belle.

“Ya bet!” Applebloom replied back cheerfully at the prospect.

“Come on, Scoots! Don’t be a chicken!” Scootaloo’s head popped out from behind the bush.

“I ain’t a chicken! No big lizard can easily scare me- the beast had disappeared, but it let out a roar so loud it promptly deafened the trio. Scootaloo panicked and hid behind the bush again.

“Hah!” said Sweetie Belle as the forest once again closed up, the stomping of the beast the only thing they heard from the Everfree.

“Let’s go! CUTIE MARK DRAGON TAMERS!” Applebloom yelled as she and Sweetie Belle galloped off into the forest, Scootaloo following after calming herself down.
---

Gah! That was… unsettling. A hydra half of my size was now directly in my crocodilian snout, it’s seven elongated heads snarling at me. Fucking hell, now I encounter another creature that came from a book about mythology? Where am I, Norway? How do I even fucking fight it? Oh wait, I forgot. I'm a friggin' dinosaur. I only hoped for a cow, or a goat, or a large fish but certainly not this.

I growled back, surely this body could do some major damage to the brightly colored hydra. “Is that all you can manage, you jacked up bastard?” I responded in my hoarse tone. I was going to have to live with that for now, until I get back to the museum. It seemed surprised at my ability to speak, but continued staring at me. Oh shit, I think I pissed it off.
It made me think back to that damn movie again, with me snapping the neck of a T.Rex, so I think this applies as well...?

Oh shit, my first day here and already I'm fighting a mythological creature just to eat it for lunch.

The hydra’s left heads lunged first at my neck, and I dodged them with only a few scratches, or more as I couldn't feel them. In retaliation, I advanced forwards into the river where it was and clamped my jaws down on three of the heads. They started flailing around until I put a large foot into it's body and pushed, it tore off the heads with ease.

So I guess that movie was accurate about the power of the Spinosaurus’s clamp. How I managed to rip them out from their necks was unknown, I was sure this thing didn't have the bite force as a T-Rex but hey! I just managed to decapitate not one, but three of the hydra's heads with ease.

It pulled back in pain, what remained of the three decapitated heads were leaking blood like a broken pipe with crushed bones to make it look better. It hissed at me, then lunged again. This time, I spun once more, and slammed it with my tail causing it to fall into the water like a rock. It hissed once again as I approached the poor guy, with the intent to munch on something. I felt a little pain from the time it scratched me, but I just dismissed it and moved on.

I put a strong foot on top of one of its submerged heads, crushing it effortlessly and only leaving a mush of brains and bones that blended in the water like juice. The unfortunate beast was now dying very slowly at my… claws. I then finished it off with a clean chomp at its last two heads, devouring them in a second.

I let out a bloodthirsty roar, my first prey is down for the count. I looked down once more and dove my snout into the body of the hydra, staining the river with bright red blood.

Boy, I had to tell Kendra about this oddly wonderful experience.

---

“I think… I’m gonna… puke…” Scootaloo threw up behind a bush as the other two watched the sight with morbid curiosity.

“That’s… terrible!” Sweetie Belle said as the lizard continued munching on the liver of the dead hydra. “What is that thing? Dragons only eat jewels but that makes them look like dolls!”

“Ah don’t know, but it sure as heck qualifies as an extremely dangerous critter,” Applebloom replied as they watched the flesh of the hydra being thrown into the air by the gigantic lizard.

Suddenly, it lifted its snout in the air, sniffing for something they didn’t know about. Then it hit them like a rock, it was sniffing them out.

“Aw shucks, been real nice livin’ with ya’ll,” said Applebloom as the dragon-like beast slowly maneuvered it’s large head towards the trio. It took it two minutes before its reptilian eyes were locked on the Crusaders.

Then it did the most surprising thing ever; it started to talk in a very deep and raspy voice.

“Sup.”

Comments

[Keeper of Jericho]

The cynic in me has to wonder if a Spinosaurus would be able to bite off a hydra's head like that, it would require biting through bone and I'm not entirely sure if the Spinosaurus had the sheer jaw-muscle needed to do that, it's not exactly a Tyrannosaurus (which had the strongest jaws of any known predator, living or extinct, if I recall correctly). The non-cynical part in is telling my cynical part to just enjoy the dinosaurs.

[Sandman]

I need to find some appropriate fight music.
Let's see...

Ah! Here we go!

[The Well Dressed Ninja]

Last part seemed a little to elderly gentlemanly for the guy you've introduced us to. I would venture that he would say something along the lines of " 'sup" or "*Gasp* You guys are ADORABLE!" Because what would be more scarier than a multi-ton dinosaur that just killed the most fearsome predator around calling you so cute he could eat you up?

[kingtiger666]

First Seriously, now this? Remember when Griffin the Griffin was just picking up steam, or before Ponyfall got it's shit together? I have the feeling we're seeing the beginning of yet another fad.

[Ponytime]

Coolio

[RainbowBob]

You wonderful bastard.
i277.photobucket.com/albums/kk56/SrSilver/chuck-norris-approved.gif
This fic is RainbowBob and Chuck Norris approved!

[Csquared08]

I have no idea how I feel about this.

[Shadowstalker]

“Ah’m not sure Scoots, but Ah think that’s what we should call it for ta’ time bein’,” replied Appleblood as they continued observing its massive tail swishing back and forth.

AppleBLOOD!

[Armadaes]

keep goin

[Obvious German]

2117891 Thanks for the heads-up mate, because of this I will reconsider my choice of words for the next few chapters. Totally missed out the whole "theres-science-involved" thing.
Extra lines added, have fun!

[YorkBrony]

Sweet Sarah Palin's flaming tits of justice, this fic looks amazing

[The Poster]

a trollish dinosaur c: how wonderful

[strijer987]

dinosaurs eh? i like this a lot

[Slip Kid]

2116634

Not quite, Megalodon probably had a higher bite force.

[Linkerman]

Wait a sec, wouldn't its heads regenerate?
If I was a spinosaurus currently in front of a creature that can give me food and stay alive, knowing it is sentient by the looks of it, I would probably try to bargain with a few of its heads for dinner.

[Morphile]

2168086, Whale sized sharkes don't count.

[Pluma the Fluffy Dragon]

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

[Yitzi]

Trollestia got nothing on Spinotroll.

[ramseymac]

Don't crocidilians have like, the most bite force in the modern world right now? How do we know about T-Rex power when we don't have any examples in modern day. He seems too well adjusted to his body at this point and is overly nimble in a fight for a paleontologist.

[JustAnotherRandomFan]

2834655 What about a marine reptile that was three times the length of Megalodon?

[josue]

2118181 more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[RvB-DESTROYER]

4204516 except spinosaurus are NOT crocodiles. They are their own thing.

[DovahLord1233]

“Sup.”

I’m dead!

[droid]

“Sup.”

*wheeze*

[droid]

9176784
same