• Published 19th Feb 2013
  • 11,923 Views, 314 Comments

Cheating Death Act II: Five of a Kind and One Joker - WIL_I_ZIN



After the events of 'Cheating Death', Felix must now deal with the concequences of being the first representative of his species to Equestria. With Death as a 'chaperone' how badly could he screw this up? Short answer? A lot.

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Chapter 1 - Arrivals Awakenings and Assumptions

Cheating Death Act 2: Five of a Kind and One Joker

Chapter 1 - Awakenings Arrivals and Assumptions

By WIL_I_ZIN

Edited by Alamais

---

Princess Celestia, Alicorn of the Sun, Diarch of Equestria, sat firmly on her throne in the grand hall of Canterlot Castle. To any gazing upon her, it would appear that she was giving the petitioner in front of her the most rapt attention possible to his proposal. This couldn’t be farther from the truth however, as Celestia's mind was elsewhere. Specifically, it was 300 kilometers to the east and 3 planeshifts to the south, currently enjoying the finer tastes of the pool stallion universe. After having to guide and rule over her ponies for nearly two millennia, there were a few things she had learned about her little ponies that helped her be more efficient. And to also keep her sanity in place.

The foremost lesson that she had learned was that ponies are stupid. Now, far be it from her to call any of her subjects idiotic, she loved them all dearly, but with age comes wisdom and Celestia was quite considerably... wise. Though she did miss the thought of having a birthday cake with candles, the great fire of 3158 EF snuffed out any idea of that ever happening again. To the original point, compared to her, Celestia's subjects didn’t have the same amount of experience that she did. This lead to a LOT of audiences sounding very similar and downright repetitious. Thankfully a combination of meditation, sweet binging, and an excessive amount of patience was what helped her overcome the usual day.

Secondly, ponies from noble houses are stubborn. If a noble was in the way of a class 5 tornado that was filled with fire and lightning and guided by an unholy demon from the pits of Tartarus, the noble would insist on the maelstrom moving to the side as it was blocking his evening sun tan. While the ‘upper crust’ did help provide a massive amount of jobs and money for Equestria with their running of major corporations, that still didn’t entitle them to be such snobs, Celestia thought.

And finally, never tempt fate. When you least expect everything to go wrong, something will, and it will be a sight to behold. Her sister becoming upset that ponies don’t seem to appreciate the work that she puts into the night? Goes crazy and has to be put into a 1000 year time out on the moon. Then, when all is seemingly peaceful after your sister is brought back and cured of the crazies by a group of delightful young mares? An old demigod foe breaks out of his prison and wreaks chaos across the land. And following that, after said demigod is imprisoned again, you think you’ll be able to enjoy the upcoming wedding of your niece? NOPE, invasion of an entire brood of changelings coming to take over Equestria. And by the creator, the carapaces were everywhere after that.

Celestia sighed internally, if it wasn’t the same old-hum-drum-day-to-day, it was a world ending scenario that she would have to deal with. Once, just once, she wished something interesting would happen that WOULDN’T cause a huge calamity or uproar among her subjects. Speaking of subjects, the one in front of her was still talking. She had to at least give him points for being verbose, but as it was only one in the afternoon there were plenty of other ponies that needed to be seen. There was also the other point that he had been by three times in the past two months to make the same proposal, just with different phrasing each time. She decided that she’d better nip this in the bud before it went on any longer.

“Excuse me, Mr. Smelt.” Celestia interjected, the stallion immediately stopped his speech and looked up to Celestia nervously. “While I do agree that opening a new factory in Fillydelphia would be an excellent opportunity to increase the amount of employment opportunities for my citizens, I must unfortunately refuse such a proposition until the output of hazardous chemicals in the air surrounding the city decline. Any further heavy industrial building will further aggravate the problem, but if you are able to bring to me proof that the new factory you are proposing will have little to no outward pollution, then we will have more to discuss.”

The stallion stood there for only a few seconds processing her response. He looked as though he was about to add something, but he stayed his tongue. “Very well, your majesty.” He respectfully bowed and left with a brisk trot out the large throne room doors. After the doors were shut, Celestia let out a very audible sigh.

Would it be too much for her to be at least a little wrathful like the days of old? At least then when she said no the first time, they’d get the freaking point. If they didn’t, well, the sun was a great place to work on their oh so precious tan. And then she wouldn’t have to listen to the incessant, nagging, irritating, and droning, heads-stuck-so-far-up-their-own-rear-ends-that- ‘Breathe, Celestia’ She told herself. ‘Think positively...’ She then thought of all the things on Equis that made her happy. ‘Apple pies, bright blue skies, breezy meadows in July... ahhh.’ Celestia sighed. She was glad she took those meditation classes, otherwise she probably would have already gone mad, and crashed the sun right into the castle. She sighed again, as her day was nowhere near done and she already felt exhausted.

“I guess asking for an interruption would be too much to ask wouldn’t it.” She lamented to no one. As soon as the words left her lips, a weaving stream of smoke and green fire spiraled through one of the windows and right toward Celestia. The smoke stopped just in front of her and coalesced into a ball, then with a burst of green fire popped into a scroll. The scroll then began to resonate with a golden glow, as Celestia grabbed it with her magic and broke the seal, unfurling it.

A warm smile came to her lips when she realised it was from her faithful student, Twilight Sparkle. It was always a mood lifter for her to hear about her student’s growth into a more knowledgeable and social pony. She wondered briefly why the letter was rather early, as Twilight usually sent her ‘friendship reports’ in the evening. As Celestia read further down the letter, her expression changed from that of her usual warm smile, to one of confusion, then wide eyed realization.

“Surely Twilight couldn’t be talking about...” Celestia said to herself and let the sentence hang in the air. After a moments pause, Celestia read the letter a second time, and then a third just to be sure. Then after she was absolutely sure, Celestia sighed heavily slumping against her throne. Out of all the things she could have expected for her student to discover, this was not one of them. Celestia knew far too well what her student and her friend had found, and now that such a being had come to her domain, she could only guess as to what this would entail for her kingdom.

Straightening up, she cleared her thoughts. Celestia may have not been prepared for this, but she would do all she could to be sure her subjects were safe from whatever would come of this clashing of two worlds.

“Guards.” Celestia called. As soon as the words had left her mouth two of her command appeared before her. “Alert the royal physicians and prepare an escort of the highest security. Tell them to be ready for departure in 15 minutes. Day court is hereby closed for the rest of the day.” The two guards saluted and galloped off to follow her orders. Celestia meanwhile sat, stewing in her own mind for a minute. Then, directing her speech to no one in particular, and with as much annoyance as possible, she spoke, “Ask and ye shall receive, indeed.”

---

Felix awoke suddenly to a rhythmic beeping sounding through the room he was in. The feeling of warmth radiated around him as his senses slowly came to him. The smell of sanitization was heavy in the air, like someone had been too liberal with bleach all over the walls. Felix attempted to move his arms and legs but found that something was blocking them, or more accurately, was holding them down. His struggling caught the attention of somebody as he heard approaching footfalls on the floor. Felix tried to open his eyes, but couldn’t, as it felt like little weights had been placed on his eyelids, making it too hard to open them. The footsteps stopped before his bed, and he felt the sheets laying over him being smoothed out and pulled back over his shoulders. Felix tried to say hello to whoever was there, but all that came out was a raspy groan.

The other presence gasped and nervously stumbled back from what Felix could guess with her rapid footwork. For a few seconds the beeping of some machine was the rooms’ only musical accompaniment. Felix heard the other sigh and briefly mutter in a feminine voice “Just my im...” The rest was unintelligible. He heard the other begin to walk away, and summoning another bout of strength was able to croak out a weak message.

“W-wait.” Felix gasped out raspily. At this the footsteps stopped and the presence gasped again. Quickly the other moved to his bedside and put a hand to his head. It didn’t feel like a hand to Felix though, much too hard. “H...hello?” Felix asked to the presence.

“Oh my. You are awake!” said the feminine voice “And you’re burning up too.” The female removed her ‘hand’ from his forehead and walked over to something. The sound of water running over something sounded, soon followed by the wringing out of a cloth of some sort. Felix then felt that same cloth laid on top of his head. The cold shocked him a little, but the female’s soft reassurances helped him relax. “Its okay.” she calmly said “You’re alright now.”

“I... had the strangest dream.” Felix sorely recalled to her. “I was hit by a train and I died, but I wound up in a forest and ended up fighting a monster.” Felix’s head was swirling around with images that flashed before his mind, offering little sense to him. The female walked back over to where she got the cloth, and the rushing of water could be heard again as it filled something. Felix then felt a glass at the edge of his lips.

“Here, drink up.” offered the voice, and Felix, being ever so parched, obliged. He greedily drank the water as its cool presence nurtured his cracked and sore throat, all the while the voice offering its own sweet assurances. Felix paused drinking to continue.

“And then I punched a train in half... and then I died again...” Felix trailed off not understanding his own words. Felix then went back to drinking as the female rubbed the cloth on his head while he drank.

“Don’t worry,” said the female voice reassuringly “you’re fine and safe in good old Canterlot Castle.” Felix's eyes shot open and the world sharpy came into focus as he exclaimed, spraying water out of his mouth in shock.

“CANTERLOT CASTLE?!”

Quickly, memories of all that had happened to Felix came rushing back at him like a tsunami of recollection. He remembered everything, the train, his death, him screwing with Death, his ‘adventures’ in the Everfree, and how he died... again. Felix still struggled to bring his hands to his face, only to look down and see that his arms were, as he previously thought, strapped down. After a few jerks to prove that they wouldn’t come off easily, he looked over towards the source of his female companion to discover she was in fact a pony.

She was a light green cream colored mare. Her white and light blue mane was done up in a bun and atop it rested a nurses hat that you would expect to see out of old 1950s movies. Aside from his general observations nothing stuck out too much about her. To Felix, she looked more realistic than what the cartoon had painted the ponies to look like, yet they were still eerily similar. Not in a way that would be horrifying to the normal human eye, just different. Her eyes were big, that much was a given, but the depth the eyes had was quite marvelous, much like staring into a geode.

The nurse was also dripping wet from Felix’s spit take, she stood there stiff paralyzed in shock from his sudden outburst. Felix’s continued glaring into her eyes didn’t help, as she felt as if her hooves had suddenly been glued to the floor. “Um. Sorry.” Felix apologised to the mare, which thankfully shook her out of her stupor.

“Oh, um...” the nurse hesitated, not quite sure how to proceed. Years of medical training, yet there was nothing that even remotely covered ‘what you should do when a comatose alien wakes up under your care’ in her skill set. So she did the next best thing that any sapient being would do when presented with an unsolvable and awkward dilemma. Run away and get someone else to fix it. “I’ll be right back with the doctor.” She quickly uttered as she scampered out the door, her wings fluttering as she ran.. “Don’t go anywhere!”

Felix sat there dumbfounded and looked down at his arms tied to the bed and scoffed. “Yeah... sure thing.” Felix took this moment of peace to examine his surroundings, what little there was of, to be honest. His bed sat up against a fairly large, white walled room. Ahead of him was a large rectangular mirror that showed his reflection, and the wall behind it. There were machines and monitors all around him and multiple cords dangled from them and trailed over to himself.

The door that the nurse had left through was to his left, and it seemed to be the only portal to the outside world as he could see no windows and no other doors in this room. There was a large oval shaped tub to his right, with one of those detachable shower heads, but the curtain and the tub itself looked rather small to him. The last remaining detail was a small potted plant in the corner, it seemed to really tie the room together.

“So, finally decided to join us in the land of the living, hrm?” remarked a deep and rather cheerful voice. Felix looked to his left to see a new visitor, a dark chestnut brown unicorn colt wearing what looked like a classic doctor’s ensemble, complete with a head mirror disk on his forehead. Behind the doctor the nurse Felix saw earlier was wheeling in a tray filled with a multitude of medical tools. Sensing that the doctor was waiting for a response, Felix cleared his throat.

“Oh, um. Yeah... where am I?” Felix asked the doctor. The doctor stiffened a little, and his eyes went wide. Then a smile formed on his muzzle and he let out a small chuckle.

“When Nurse Ratchet said you spoke Equestrian, I hardly believed her. Guess that goes to show even I haven’t seen everything.” he said with bemusement in his voice. His facial features then shifted to a more serious face. It was easy for Felix to tell, pony facial expressions were very exaggerated. “Unfortunately, I can’t quite tell you exactly where you are due to orders by the crown, but don’t fret, you are fine and safe here, no harm will come to you and this I swear to you upon my word as a doctor.” the doctor spoke, saying the last part of his promise with one hoof over his chest.

“Oh, well, thanks then I guess, Doctor...?” Felix questioned leaving his sentence hanging.

“Stable Condition.” answered the doctor. If Felix wasn’t tied to the bed, he would have facepalmed so hard he would have broken his nose. “Now then,” the doctor began as he moved to Felix’s side and brought up a clipboard with his magic “you’ve been through quite a lot. I’m frankly surprised you healed as quickly as you did, all things considered.”

“I was beat up that badly?” asked Felix. His eyes mesmerized by the clipboard being held with the doctors magic, it wasn’t as pronounced as on the show, but a faint blue colored aura could be seen shimmering around the floating clipboard.

“You’re lucky to be alive more than anything.” the doctor said as he paged through the sheets of paper on the clipboard. “You had multiple lacerations all over your body, the ones of your chest were especially deep, cutting right through some of your upper abdominal muscles. You had a festering hole in your back that had become infected. And then there was the manticore poison that was flowing through your veins, that really threw us for a loop, as you had enough of that toxin in your blood to kill an elephant!”

Felix’s eyes went wide at the revelation, he knew he had got poisoned but there was that much in his system? How did he even survive?

“But by far the most amazing thing-” Stable Condition continued “was the fact that you were dead when you arrived in the ER.” Felix’s face blanched in disbelief.

“I was... dead?” Felix repeated back.

“Indeed!” the doctor exuberantly responded. “And apparently you had been 10 minutes before you had even gotten to the hospital to begin with. No resuscitation spells or electroshock spells would jumpstart your heart, so the doctors were about to call it. Then suddenly, BAM! Your heart started beating again and you were breathing! It was a miracle by all manner of the term in my professional opinion.”

Felix was a little shocked by this news. Sure he expected that he WAS dead while he was out spirit walking with Death, but he didn’t expect his coming back to this world would be so... dramatic. Felix’s face turned up in a small smile. “I guess I’m one lucky guy then?”

“Lucky doesn’t even BEGIN to describe it.” Stable Condition commented. “After you were checked over and found to be stable, the doctors tried to use healing magic on you to close your wounds and remove the poison, but they hit a snag.” Dr. Condition lifted up the sheet and pointed with his hoof to the massive bandages that covered his chest. “It seems that you are heavily magic resistant; any magic cast upon you has no discernible effect. We had to go the old fashioned route and sanitize and treat your wounds, while we flushed your system with as little anti toxin as we could. We were afraid of causing any adverse reaction you see, seeing as how we know next to nothing about your physiology.”

“Oh, sorry about that.” Felix automatically apologised saying it more out of habit than of actually being sincere.

“Oh no need to apologise, it’s not like you purposefully meant to get in this rough of shape after all. Unless its a hobby of yours to be tangoing with manticores.” Stable Condition asked, then laughed heartily at his own joke. “But seriously, it was very touch and go with you at the beginning. After the first week however things settled down considerably, and what was quite amazing is your bodies natural healing rate in my professional opinion.” Felix raised an eyebrow at the doctors explanation.

“Um, do ponies take a long time to heal or something?” Felix questioned. The doctor tilted his head slightly and looked up and down Felix’s body.

“Well without magic, our bodies’ natural healing would take at least 3 months to repair itself after the extensive damage you received. However for you it only took two weeks.”

“TWO WEEKS?!” exclaimed Felix. The doctor and the nurse backpedaled from his outburst while Felix’s mind raced. That’s impossible, he thought, no one could heal that fast. “I need to see.”

“What?” the doctor asked confused.

“I need to see my wounds, take off these bandages.” demanded Felix. The doctor's face hardened at Felix’s order.

“Sir, right now you have a lot of scar tissue all over your chest, it would be a very bad idea in my professional opinion to-”

“Actually,” Nurse Ratchet interjected, interrupting the doctor “he’s due to have his bandages changed later today, I could just do them now.”

“Oh, well then in my professional opinion it would be alright.” the doctor approved. Felix rolled his eyes at the doctor's easily switchable attitude while the nurse went over to the cart she wheeled in and grabbed a large knife in her hooves. Felix eyed the knife warily as it was brought close to his chest. The nurse saw his frightened expression and smiled warmly at him.

“Now don’t you worry, I know how to change bandages like the back of my own hoof.” she claimed with sincerity. Nurse Ratchet lowered the knife slowly to the bandages and was just about to cut them, when she stopped. “Oh silly me, I have the knife facing backwards.” Felix’s heart responded by doing the mambo at 180 bpm. “Okay, here we go.” Felix closed his eyes, begging to an indifferent God that he wouldn’t be stabbed like a Bates Motel victim. “And there we go.” Felix heard from the nurse snapping him out of his momentary panic attack.

Felix looked down to see that he bore some rather impressive-looking scars across his chest. Three deep gashes could be seen along with a whole slew of smaller scars that made his chest look like a New York intercity highway map. Felix of course responded like the mature 26 year old he was.

“Cooooooool. I look like the Nameless One’s long lost brother!” he quipped, chuckling.

“Who?” the doctor said holding the sanitizer for the nurse.

“Oh, just some legend from my home. So how l- Aaaughhhhhh.” Felix groaned as the nurse rubbed the alcohol onto his scars, clearing them of any bacteria, but also making Felix feel like his chest was on fire. “Annnnnnd that’s going to sting in the morning.”

“Oh quit being a foal, I’m barely touching you.” the nurse admonished as she began to apply anti bacterial cream. The pain slowly receded to a calm cooling sensation and Felix relaxed back a bit.

“So,” Felix questioned turning to the Doctor “It only took two weeks for the scars to form? How long have I been out then?”

“You’ve actually been out for a little over a month.”

“A month?” Felix repeated with an arched eyebrow. “That doesn’t make any sense. Why are my scars this sensitive after they formed so quickly... And did you say a MONTH?”

“Those were the words that left my mouth, I’m quite sure, in my professional opinion.” Doctor Stable Condition quipped back at Felix.

“Ha ha.” Felix dryly laughed back at the doctor. “It... just didn’t feel like I was sleeping for that long.” Felix felt cool air rush to his wrists and he looked down to see that the nurse had removed his restraints. “Oh, thanks. That was getting rather uncomfortable.”

“Sorry about them dearie,” apologised the nurse “They were more for your own protection, you were always flailing around in your sleep.” The nurse held up a roll of new bandages and some gause. “Now do you want to try to sit up a little?”

Felix lifted up his hands and grabbed onto the railing on both sides of the bed. With surprisingly little effort he was able to pull himself into sitting straight up. The nurse immediately went to work while Felix sat there staring off into the distance.

“Okay I call bull.” he claimed.

“I’m sorry what?” asked the confused nurse.

“There is NO way I should have been able to do that. I’ve been in bed for over a month, not to mention all, these.” Felix explained motioning to the scars on his chest. “I shouldn’t have the strength to do this let alone feel barely any pain.”

“So this level of healing isn’t the norm for your species?” the doctor asked intrigued.

“Not unless I’ve suddenly gained an adamantium skeleton.”

“Is it also a norm of your species to say weird things like that?”

“...Actually it is, bub.”

“There we go,” prompted the nurse as she tied off his bandages with a metal clip “Fresh wrapping, now be sure you don’t do any major stretching or you may rip them.” Felix laid his hands on his chest and rubbed around his torso feeling the bandages. Pulling the sheets back he found that thankfully he was at least wearing a makeshift pair of pants, thought from the uncomfortableness he figured that was ALL he was wearing. he made a mental note to get some better clothes when the time was appropriate.

“Well thank you ma’am.” Felix grinned to the nurse.

“Please, Ma’am is my mother, call me Ratchet.” the nurse giggled, holding out a hoof towards Felix. He returned her hoofshake while glancing at her flank, noticing she indeed did have a ratchet as a cutie mark.

“I bet there’s an interesting story behind that name.” he proposed.

“You’d be right, dad always did want me to go into the plumbing business.” she replied with a hearty laugh. The doctor coughed into his hoof gaining both Felix and Rachet’s attention.

“Now then,” the doctor said turning to Felix “There is a lot to go over now that you are up.” Felix grimaced at the doctor’s words.

“Why do I get the feeling I should have stayed asleep.” Felix groaned flopping back down into his bed.

“Oh nonsense,” the doctor chided “Its nothing too serious. Just a few forms for formality’s sake.” Then, from seemingly nowhere, Stable Condition pulled out a large stack of papers at least 2 feet tall and dropped them on the table next to Felix’s bed.

“A few?” Felix asked incredulously.

“Well its not often we get a...” the doctor explained stopping when he couldn’t find the word. “Well, how silly of me, I never even asked what your species was, or even what your name is!” Felix chuckled a little at the doctor’s faux pas.

“Its Fe-”

“What is the creature doing out of its restraints?” snapped a shrill voice. Felix and the others in the room turned toward the new voice to see its source. An oily, lanky, light grey unicorn stallion. His mane was rather unkempt and looked like it hadn’t seen shampoo in the past two weeks. He wore a white coat that had pens and paper sticking out of every nook and fold of it. The expression on his face was that of shock and disgust, and it was directed right at Felix.

“Oh, Dr. Practice,” addressed Stable Condition “how... nice of you to join us.”

“Don’t try changing the subject Condition. What is it doing unrestrained? I gave specific orders for it to be contained at all times.” Doctor Practice demanded as he moved up to Felix’s bedside.

“Now, Mal, I’m sure that-” the nurse began to explain to him, only to be cut off by Doctor Practice.

“You will refer to your superiors, especially ME, as DOCTOR. Understood? Nurse?” he shouted, the last word oozing with disdain. Nurse Ratchet glared right back at him with just as much anger.

“Understood... Doctor.” she spoke mimicking his exact tone back at him. “As I was saying, I was changing his bandages and seeing as he was already awake I took them off to mak-”

“Why wasn’t I notified? I am the head of this operation, and I specifically ordered that if the subject was to ever become conscious, I was to be told IMMEDIATELY.” Dr. Practice ranted.

“Practice,” interjected Dr. Condition “He only woke up just a few minutes ago, and I decided checking on his condition was paramount to you being notified in my professional opinion.”

Felix decided he did not like this pony. He would like to take this pony and throw him out of the nearest window. However seeing as the room he was in had no windows, he put it on his to do list.

“If I wanted your opinion, I would just ask some fresh out of university bedpan assistant and get the same result.” Responded Dr. Practice as he used his magic to take the clipboard away from Dr. Condition. Correction, Felix now loathed this pony. Windows were too good for him, maybe a tall staircase filled with broken glass and nails would be more fitting. “Now, nurse, I want the subject re-restrained and moved to testing room number one.”

“With all do respect doctor, he’s in no condition to be tested.” Nurse Ratchet argued.

“The subject is awake, that is all that’s needed. And if I’m not mistaken his physical injuries have been nearly healed anyway. So, the sooner you prepare it for transfer, the sooner I can get to doing my ACTUAL job.”

“Is being a dick you’re job?” spat Felix. “Cause you certainly are quite good at it.” Dr. Practice sputtered in disbelief at the verbal insult by Felix.

“This-this, subject, will keep its mouth shut for the remainder of the testing period!” shouted Dr. Practice.

“I’d like to see you try...” Felix threatened pointing menacingly at Dr. Practice. The two of them glared into each others eyes, while Nurse Ratchet and Dr. Condition looked on warily. Dr. Practice refused to back down however and turned back to the doorway.

“Guards!” he called out. Less than a second later, two gold armored white stallions trotted into the room. “Hold the subject down while I restrain it.” The guards immediately moved over to Felix’s bedside, but before they could do anything Felix himself laid back and positioned his limbs next to the restraints.

“Fine, fine,” he said defeated, but still obstinate “Have it your way, jerk.” While Felix hated this guy’s guts, he wasn’t about to risk a physical confrontation with some goons just yet. Besides how bad could a few ‘tests’ be? Felix then felt the restraints tighten around his limbs, and then they tightened a little further provoking some irritation and another dagger like stare at Dr. Practice. The bad doctor ignoring Felix’s discomfort, turned to Dr. Condition and Nurse Ratchet and directed them to leave.

“You are relieved of your duties for now, if I have need of any of your assistance, my intern will notify you... speaking of which, NOTE!” Dr. Practice shouted toward the doorway. A new figure scampered in with multiple notebooks and writing utensils being held in a magical aura around it. The figure in question was a young stallion who could almost be mistaken for a mare with his lanky figure. His voice however was definitely male, nasally and nerdy.

“Y-y-yes sir, Dr. Practice?” the new pony wavered.

“Note I want you to take the subject to testing chamber number one, I will be there shortly. The guards will escort you.” ordered Dr. Practice. “As for the two of you, I think you can find the door by yourself hrm?” Dr. Practice then walked out the door and down the hall. The intern moved to the back of Felix’s bed and began to fiddle with the locks holding it in place.

“Egads. I have to deal with that jerk now?” Felix groaned to Dr. Condition.

“While I will admit that Mal can come off as a rather... sensitive pony, he is a genius in the medical field of new species classification.” explained Dr. Condition. “And he has shown to always get results... even though he is a bit of a flankhole about it in my professional opinion.” Felix felt the bed shift and the intern popped out from underneath the bed.

“Alrighty, you ready to go?” the intern asked with a chipper voice. Felix was surprised at the interns shift in attitude.

“Um... I guess?” Felix responded semi-bewildered. The bed began to move across the the ground, the intern pushing it from the head of it. Felix gave a slight wave goodbye to Dr. Condition and Nurse Rachet as he passed through the portal into the hallway. The hallway was a bright white both with tiles on the floor and the speckled ceiling. Bright white lights adorned the ceiling, though similar to fluorescent lights it seemed like there was a flame trapped within its glass. Much like his room there were no windows to the outside that Felix could see.

“I’m sorry about Dr. Practice.” Felix was surprised to see the intern was the one who had said it. The intern was now walking alongside Felix’s bed, his horn glowing from pushing the bed along the hall.

“Why are you apologising for that... asswad?” Felix asked incredulously.

“What does a group of donkeys have anything to do with this?” querried the intern. Felix blanched.

“Uh, nevermind.” Felix said not wanting to try an explain the colorful language of english. “But seriously, why are you defending him? He’s a total jerk.”

“Well I know he’s kind of rude, but Dr. Practice is quite nice when you get to know him.” the intern expressed with a smile. Felix of course gave the intern his best you’ve-gotta-be-shitting-me face.

“Really?”

“Um... yes.”

“REALLY?” Felix asked a second time with more force.

“Oh alright, he isn’t.” divulged the intern. “He’s a borish, brutish, bumbling, bigoted, blockhead! I’ve been his intern for the past six months and I don’t know if I’m going to make it the full seven! If he’s not berating me for doing something wrong, he’s yelling at me for doing something right, but making it seem like a blind legless earth pony could do better!” Felix just sat in the bed eyes wide at the outburst of the intern. The intern himself sudddenly realised what he was saying and crouched low with his eyes darting back and forth. “OhmaiCelestia, please tell me I didn’t say that outloud.”

“Oh you did, but I wouldn’t worry about it.” Felix assured him.

“W-why not? If he heard that, I’m screwed! I’ll have to repeat this whole internship, and good luck finding someone with the pull like dr-” the intern began to rant before Felix cut him off.

“What I meant, was that I don’t think he could hear you anyway. Guys like him are so into their own egos, they tune out the world around them.”

“You... You think he didn’t hear me?”

“Yeah I’m pretty sure. It’ll just be between you, me, this hall-” Felix answered, shifting his focus to the other ponies following them in the hall. “- and the guards currently escorting us. Ain’t that right boys?” Felix received an indifferent snort from one of the guards as a response. “I think that means yes.”

The intern chuckled slightly, the mood in the hall changing for the better. “My name is Quick Note by the way.” the intern told Felix.

“Felix. Felix Jackson.” Felix returned to Note. “So, why am I being thrown right into these tests? I mean, shouldn’t I be like meeting someone in charge or something?” Felix tried to be as vague as possible. His foreknowledge about Equestria could lead him into some corners if he let slip he knew more than he was letting on.

“I’m honestly not sure why.” responded Note with confusion. “You are the first... um...”

“Human.”

“Human, that I’ve ever heard of. If I were to guess, Dr. Practice is using the fact that you are a non classified species as a way of getting you as a test subject.” Note hypothesized.

“Well that’s even worse!” Felix exclaimed. He turned to the guards and began to question them “Hey, you! You’re supposed to be a police force of some kind. Can’t you tell that this SCREAMS unethical?!”

“Actually they’re posted here by the crown with explicit instructions to be sure no harm comes to you.” interjected Note. “And how are tests unethical?”

“Well, I don’t know,” Frelix responded melodramatically “How many pints of blood do you think he’ll remove from me? Will it be before or after the vivisection? And can I at least be unconscious when he decided to anal probe me?” Note’s face shifted to that of shock and horror, while the guards themselves only changed to a wide eyed stare.

“W-...w-w-what would make you believe we would do those kinds of tests to you without some form of consent? That’s just... unthinkable!” asked a horrified Note.

“Eh. It’s what my race would probably do.” Felix nonchalantly responded.

“That’s terrifying.” Note said.

“Eh, cut us some slack. Up until a while ago for me, most of humanity thought we were alone. The only sapient beings in existence. We wouldn’t be used to asking something new and weird for consent.” Felix explained. Note seemed to take this heavily and looked ahead deep in thought on Felix’s words. They walked for a while before Note broke the silence.

“How could your race think that you were the only intelligent beings on Equis?” inquired Note. “I know that most of the grand oceans and beyond are unexplored area to the Equestrian kingdom. But you at least must have met one of the other civilizations.”

“We kinda live... far away. REALLY far away.” Felix told Note. Sure he was omitting that the distance was a planeshift away, but admitting that right now probably would get him locked up in the looney bin or have him be experimented on.

“Yeah I thought so.” replied Note. He stopped in front of two large double doors and moved next to a small device that was next to the doors. Placing a hoof on it caused it to glow a white light. The glow then faded and was replaced with a bright green light and a small chime. The doors swung inward and Felix’s bed moved to the inside.

The new room was a large one, the ceiling easily being twice Felix’s own height. Much like his original room there was a large mirror stretching along one of the walls. In the center of the room was a table filled with paper and assorted items. Around it stood two chairs, one of which looked like two stools, one of which was larger than the other. Felix’s bed stopped and was pushed up against one of the walls.

“Well, well. You happened to arrive exactly on time for once Note.” spoke a voice behind the group. Felix didn’t even need to turn his head as the voice was enough to remind him who it was. “I guess even you can be right once in awhile.” said Dr. Practice as he moved into view. Moving over to the table, Dr. Practice sat on the smaller stool and began to shuffle through the papers on the desk. The guards that had been following Note and Felix now stood by the double doors, stiff as a pole. “You may prepare the subject.” commanded Dr. Practice to Quick Note.

Felix saw the restraints around his limbs go loose followed by the cooling sensation as fresh air touched his once-confined limbs. His right arm in particular felt very heavy, Felix thought it must have been because of how tight they were. Quick note walked up to his bed and motioned for Felix to get up. “Come on now, slowly, don’t want you falling over.” Note softly told Felix. Using the metal bars of the bed to help himself sitting upright again, Felix swung his legs over the side of the bed and let them drape. The thought of how easy this was for him to move his previously wounded body crossed his mind again, but a gruff cough from Dr. Practice signalled that patience wasn’t one of the doctors virtues.

Slowly and with great care Felix allowed his legs to slide down and land on the floor. Admittedly because the bed was already close to the ground and we was taller than the average pony he didn’t have very far to fall. Pushing himself off the bed, Felix stood for the first time after his coma. Only to nearly fall forward onto his face. Luckily, Quick Note moved in front of Felix, allowing Felix to use Note as a brace.

“Thanks.” Felix said to Note. Note Smiled back at Felix and moved with him slowly over to the stool. Felix’s steps were short and jagged as he carefully moved across the room.

“No prob-” responded Quick Note before Dr. Practice interrupted him.

“If you are done wasting my time, would you take a seat already?” he curtly spat not even looking up from the folder he currently had his head buried in. Felix shot him another death glare, and turned to Quick Note to see him make a ‘please-at-least-try-to-put-up-with-him?’ expression. Rolling his eyes and sighing Felix sat down on the larger stool. Even though it was bigger than the other one, it was still rather small for Felix, leaning too far in any direction might make him slip right off.

After making sure Felix wouldn't fall off, Quick Note trotted over to the table and levitated up a large stack of papers and a quil. Taking the right side of Dr. Practice, he stood ready to write down anything that would happen. Dr. Practice lowered the folder he was reading and levitated out of the pile of objects a small personal recorder. It looked like one of the old tape deck ones you would see in modern crime dramas, thought Felix. The magic surrounding the recorder pushed down a button and the tape starting to run.

“This is Dr. Practice recording the first session with the unidentified subject that was found on the outskirts of the Everfree.” spoke the doctor in a droning voice as he went through other papers on his desk. “I will proceed to put the subject through the Standard Equine Tests of Intelligence to determine the subjects overall cognitive ability.”

“The subject has a name you know.” Felix deadpanned while scowling at Dr. Practice. The doctor paused only a moment before continuing.

“Subject has shown to be able to speak Equestrian, no discernible accent. Whether this is an act of parroting or actual communication has yet to be determined.” continued Dr. Practice. It was less than 5 minutes into the testing and Felix already wanted to jump across the table and throttle the stallion like a dead chicken. The doctor took two sheets of paper and handed one of the copies to the intern. “I shall now attempt to communicate with the subject.” The doctor cleared his throat and then began to speak slowly and in broken English to Felix, while performing exaggerated leg motions directing to himself and then Felix. “I am, Doctor Practice. You are?”

“Irritated.” Felix said with as much contempt as possible. The doctor had to do a double take and then frowned, while Quick Note did his best to hold back his laughter. The doctor straightened up and returned Felix’s gaze.

“What is your name?” Dr. Practice simply questioned.

“Felix C. Jackson.”

“Your species?”

“Human.”

“Your occupation?”

“Answering your moronic questions apparently.” Felix quiped with a smirk. In response, Dr. Practice slammed his hoof on the desk sending a few papers flying.

“I will not have you make a mockery of me or these proceedings.” Dr. Practice said curtly. “Have I made myself clear?”

“...Crystal.” Felix responded with no tone or emotion in his voice. The doctor eased back onto his stool and continued. The questions resumed, never venturing beyond the need for short answers, though Felix had no desire to divulge anything more than the minimum to the aggravating doctor. The questions were almost the same standard one you would find on a job application. When it came to the question of how he arrived in Equestria, he claimed ignorance and said he didn’t know how. Thankfully the doctor didn’t press further on the issue.

Soon the questions were done and the real testing began. First was simple arithmetic, the doctor gave a short explanation on what the plus and minus signs were, but Felix didn’t need any instruction as it was already in English to him. After completing how many he could in five minutes the doctor swiftly moved onto the next test. Dr. Practice pulled out a series of cards with pictures on them and shuffled through them.

“I will now attempt to test the subject Felix Jackson’s visual recollection.” Dr. Practice said to the recorder, while pulling out one of the cards and showing it to Felix. “What is this?” He asked holding up a picture of a pumpkin.

“A pumpkin.” droned Felix. Out of all the childish tests this was the one that felt the most degrading to his intelligence. The doctor put the card down and held up another.

“What is this?”

“A dog.” The card was set down and another was lifted in front of him. “A house.” And another. Felix’s eye twitched. “An apple.” And another. “A fish- Alright this is just ridiculous!” Felix shouted. “I know what things are alright? I’m not some dumb kid, I can talk alright? Heck, I can soliloquise in the most verbose language possible while describing my utmost irritation with this moronic academic analysis.” The doctor frowned and ignoring Felix, grabbed another card and showed it to Felix.

“What is this?”

“It’s a flash card you moron.” Felix shot at Dr. Practice. Silence rang through the room as both Felix and Dr. Practice glowered at each other, pure hate could be felt radiating off the both of them. The silence was interrupted by Quick Note coughing to gain attention.

“Um, how do I grade that one, Doctor?” he asked sincerely. Dr. Practice’s eye began to twitch and he sighed with an aggravated grunt. The doctor decided to move onto the next test, which involved taking a few set shapes and trying to combine them to form a new shape that were outlined on pieces of paper while timed. Felix actually enjoyed this one as it felt more like a game he used to play on the computer while he goofed off.

The tests then shifted to the doctor verbally describing something and Felix had to guess what it was. Though they started out easily like “Its a sphere and it bounces on the ground.” which the answer was a ball. To “No sooner spoken than broken. What is it?” which the answer was silence. Felix having spent hours playing old RPGs was quick versed in the art of riddle play, and was having a blast. Dr. Practice however, was not. The way Felix was easily solving some of the more difficult, and in some cases not even on the test, questions was starting to grate on his nerves. Sure, he was supposed to be testing Felix’s intelligence, but he loathed how Felix exuded this aura of superiority with each answer.

“I am weightless, but you can see me. Put me in a bucket, and I'll make it lighter. What am I?” asked Dr. Practice, his teeth clenched and his eye rapidly twitching.

Without even missing a beat, Felix quickly responded, “A hole.” and smirked. “Really doctor, these are the best you can do? I swear I’ve heard more difficult questions from a two year old.” The doctor slammed his hooves on the desk causing it to shake and nearly break.

“Listen here you... you FREAK!” howled Dr. Practice. “I will not have you insulting the testing procedure! If you are such a genius, then tell me why you decided to go brawling with a manticore?!”

“I-” was all Felix could say before Dr. Practice interrupted.

“Of course you can’t, you are nothing more than another brutish, mindless, and misshapen being like all the rest.” the doctor continued to rant. “The very fact that I am wasting my time on such an idiotic pursuit of classifying you should have you thanking me!” Felix clenched his fists, this pony was really starting to push it. “And your constant interruptions and mockery of these proceedings shows me just how brainless a monster like you can be. I will not have the name of science be besmirched by a witless, gelded, malformation!” The doctor seethed with anger as his hooves pressed into the table.

Felix stood there only for a moment before responding. “Well, I’m sorry you feeeaaaaaaaAAAGH!” he screamed as he fell to the floor and began to writhe in pain. The doctor shot up shocked, and ran around the table to get a better look at him. Felix was clutching his leg and screaming bloody murder about the pain he was in. Quick Note rushed to Felix’s side and tried to ask him what was going on, but to no avail as Felix continued to wail.

The guards took a defensive stance and shouted “Orders, sir!?” The doctor looked back and forth between the guards and Felix on the ground, for once he was at a loss for words.

“I-...I-I...” stammered Dr. Practice. Meanwhile Quick Note was trying his best to get Felix to respond and tell him what was going on. A million things shot though the interns mind, did they move him too soon? Was the testing so strenuous that it caused a blood clot or a massive hemorrhaging? He was no expert on medicine, he was training to be an anthropologist. Felix continued to scream, but opened his eyes briefly to see Quick Note standing over him. While still screaming, he smiled and winked at him.

Quick was taken aback, he didn’t quite understand at first, but slowly comprehension hit him and he decided to play along. Quickly he turned around and ordered the guards. “Guards! Get Dr. Condition and Nurse Ratchet Immediately! He’s having some sort of seizure!”

The guard hesitated for a second, they looked to Dr. Practice for confirmation. The doctor after realising what they were waiting for yelled at them, “You heard him! I’ll not have my project fail because of his death! Get them now!” The guards saluted and ran out of the room, the doors slamming behind them. The doctor sighed and moved back to his desk to lean on it and plug his ears with his hooves. “Note, if you can, shut that Celestia damned thing up!” Surprisingly, Dr. Practise heard the screaming cease, and he sighed in relief. “Good work, Note.” groaned Dr. Practice as he massaged the his temples. “Did you gag the son of a mule or... did... you...”

The doctor trailed off, his sight falling on Felix hovering over him, his glare boring into the doctor's eyes. “What are you- guards! GUAR-!?” the doctor cried out, silenced by Felix grabbing him by the throat and lifting him up.

“I think they are rather occupied at the moment, Mal.” Felix told Dr. Practice, saying his name with as much displacement as possible.

“My name is Dr. Practice you frea- GAK” was all he could say before Felix squeezed on his windpipe.

“You are going to shut that Godforsaken mouth of yours and listen for once in your miserable excuse for an existence!” Felix roared into Dr. Practice’s face. “I don’t appreciate you insulting me, or my people, or my intelligence. And if you even think about calling me a monster...” At this Felix grinned manically. “You’d be right.” He threw Dr. Practice into a corner and watched the doctors body flop to the ground. The doctor scrambled to his hooves but found himself cornered by Felix.

“Qu-qu-quick Note! Help me!” screamed Dr. Practice. Felix laughed devilishly at his cries for help.

“He can’t help you, he’s busy napping.” Felix said jabbing his thumb in the direction of a motionless Quick Note on the floor. Felix moved closer to the doctor causing him to back up against the corner of the wall and quake in fear. “Now you are going to be a good little pony and listen.” Felix began only to be interrupted by Dr. Practice lighting up his horn and blasting him with a bright beam of magic. The ray hit Felix, but did absolutely nothing. “Hehehe... Tickles.” Felix giggled melovantly. “Lets take care of that” Felix said as he grabbed the doctor’s horn and forced his eyes to look right at Felix.

“You know, the reason my race isn’t known by you, ponies, is that we haven’t considered you worthy to be contacted. We have spent the past 20,000 years building empires that expand across our land and have power that make your precious Equestria, look like a backwater stone age tribe. We have invented weapons that can kill instantly from leagues away, armor that can’t even be pierced by the strongest spell, and created an explosive force so powerful, that a SINGLE one would turn any of your cities and the surrounding area instantaneously to ash. We’ve had clashes amongst our own that had death tolls numbering in the millions, and those are the smaller wars. We have been fighting and killing for so damn long, that we’ve become really, really good at it. If we were even planning on showing ourselves to you, your races would already be subjugated under our rule. We’ve already done it to every other race we’ve met; with us being the apex predator of the world, none are more ruthless than us. After all, the rest are dead.” Felix narrated to Dr. Practice, the doctor’s visage growing more and more horrified.

“If I wanted to, I could snap your neck and walk right out of this room, but I’m feeling generous and let you go with a warning.” The doctor began to show a sliver of hope in his face before Felix continued. “But if you ever show your face to me again or insult me in any way, I will personally take your horn and shove it SO FAR up your own anal cavity that the only way you are going to levitate ANYTHING is by opening your DAMN MOUTH!” The faint trickle of water could be heard and Felix grinned even more evil than before. “Do I make myself clear?” he echoed the doctor’s words right back at him.

“C-c-crystal.” Dr. Practice stammered out. Felix then leaned in as close as possible.

“Good. I’d hate to have to kill and... eat a mind as bright as yours.” Felix said baring his teeth and running his tongue along them. The doctor screamed in a high pitch tone before going limp in Felix’s hand. Felix then let go of the unicorn’s horn and let him fall flat into a puddle of his own sweat and piss. Looking over the massive emotional damage he just inflicted made him burst into laughter. He stopped when he felt a proding sensation on his back. Felix turned around to see Quick Note looking warily at him.

“You um, you weren’t really going to... eat him, were you?” he asked with trepidation. Felix reacted by spurting out another laugh.

“No! Of course not, no.” Felix told Quick Note while trailing off in his laughter. “He’d probably taste terrible.” Quick Note’s eyes widened in fear, but Felix stopped his reaction there. “No. Seriously, no. I don’t eat anything that can talk. It’s not polite.”

“Oh, well... that’s good.” the intern half heartily laughed. “Um, what are you going to do now?”

“Now?” Felix repeated. He thought about it for a minute. “Well I guess you’d better take me back to my room. I don’t think the doctor is in any condition to be testing anyone at the moment.” Felix smirked at Quick Note and proceeded to stumble back to his bed. Quick Note took one last glance at the passed out Dr. Practice before chuckling and heading to Felix’s side to offer him aid.

As the bed went through the doors and headed down the hall back to the room, Quick Note thought of something. “Did you really mean all those things you said? About humans and those weapons?” he asked slightly nervous at making Felix angry by asking. Felix sighed and looked at Quick Note with a forlorn expression.

“Humans are a weird bunch okay? We do everything in extreme, whether good... or bad.” Felix said somberly.

“I... I see.” hesitated Quick Note.

“Hey, if it makes you feel any better, the chances of humanity as a whole ever coming here is nigh impossible. I got here by a fluke, so you don’t have to worry about any of those dangerous things ever coming to Equestria okay?” Felix reassured him.

“You sure?”

“You’d have a better chance of seeing a pegasus fart rainbows.” Felix quipped, which broke the tension and made Quick Note burst into laughter. Soon Felix felt the laughter become infectious and he laughed along with him. They both stopped suddenly when they heard a loud cough of someone trying to gain their attention. Felix and Quick Note looked up to see that the guards who had ran to get the doctor and nurse had returned and were tapping their hooves as if waiting for an explaination.

“I was under the impression that we were running to come to help with you as you were having a seizure on the floor.” Dr. Condition expressed to Felix. “And here we are surprised to find you laughing in the halls. Care to explain?” he asked raising one of his eyebrows.

“I, uh... stubbed my toe!” Felix said improvising an answer.

“You... stubbed your toe?” Dr. Condition asked confused.

“Oh yes, it was horrible.” Felix explained with as much emotion as he could. “I mean, you ponies have hooves, you can’t possibly know how sensitive toes are. Why, when a human stubs one its like being hit repeatedly with a large rock. That’s also on fire!” While Felix explained, one of the guards leaned over to the other.

“Any idea what the heck a ‘toe’ is?” he whispered to the other.

“I have no idea, but whatever it is, I'm glad I don't have one.” responded the other guard with a whisper of his own.

“And what of Dr. Practice? Why isn’t he with you?” asked Dr. Condition.

“Oh, him?” Felix said nonchalantly “I was doing so well at testing that I wore him out, we decided it was best if we both took a rest and got to it later.”

“Really?” asked a disbelieving Dr. Condition.

“Really.” Insisted Felix. “He was practically falling asleep before we left the room.” Dr. Condition looked suspiciously at Felix and then at Quick Note who in return smiled nervously. After a few seconds of scrutinizing, Dr. Condition smiled.

“Well, it’s a good thing Dr. Practice finally listened to my advice.” he said as he turned around to lead them back to Felix’s room. “He should really do it more often. That stallion would have a lot less stress if he listened more and talked less, in my professional opinion.” Felix smirked at Quick Note before answering.

“The world would be worse off without you doc.” Felix chuckled.

Quick Note leaned in towards Felix while no one was looking and whispered, “I’m so going to get fired for this.”

“Was it worth it?” Felix asked.

“...Completely.” Quick Note responded with a grin.

It was only a few minute later that they reached Felix’s room and had him wheeled inside. The nurse asked if he would like any food or water and Felix’s gut answered for him with a growl. Both Dr. Condition and Nurse Ratchet laughed heartily at the humor of the situation while Quick Note nervously looked at Felix, hoping he wasn’t too hungry. The group left Felix in his room, the nurse promising to return soon with some nourishment. With silence once again his companion, Felix let his mind wander.

So here he was, in Equestria. A land that, up until not too long ago, Felix thought was fictional and couldn’t possibly have existed. However, dying proved that to be wrong, and then coming back to life and dying within Equestria doubly proved him wrong. And now thanks to something written down in the Celestial Bureaucracy, he was stuck here. While that might have made some upset, it didn’t affect him too much.

This was a new world for him. How many people get the opportunity to see and experience a brand new world, one full of a whole menagerie of creatures and beings from man’s mythology? Felix had decided the moment he was sent back that he was going to make the most of it. And by whatever God ruled this universe, he was going to do it. Felix sighed, content on his current situation, sure he had probably upset a high ranking scientist and scarred him for life, but the stress relief was worth it. After all it’s not like it could get any worse, right?

“So this is the shit hole they stuck you in, eh? Well, its not too bad, that potted plant in the corner really ties the room together.” said a new, yet familiar, gruff voice. Felix sat up in his bed and looked over to the doorway to see a new figure standing in front of it. It was a grey unicorn stallion with a dark, nearly black red mane. The stallion wore a cloak of a darker shade of grey, with a simple gold clasp holding it together on his chest. “Still can’t believe you were out for a whole month. I mean seriously, it was just a fight with a manticore, you’d think after all the other shit you went though that would be a pittance.”

Felix racked his brain trying to figure out who this guy was. His voice was eerily familiar, yet he couldn’t quite place it. The stallion moved to Felix’s bedside and continued to talk.

“Oh, what? Are you shocked speechless at seeing me again? I didn’t know you found me that attractive.” joked the stallion. Felix was even more confused by the ‘again’? Felix had never met a stallion with this kind of coloring before, especially one with a... scythe for a cutie mark? … ‘A SCYTHE FOR A CUTIE MARK?’ Felix’s mind screamed.

“DEATH!?” Felix actually screamed. The stallion grinned devilishly at Felix.

“Well, well. You got it in one. Not bad kid, not bad at all.” he complimented Felix like you compliment someone for having a nice hairstyle. Felix was taken aback, he didn’t quite know what to say and was at a loss for words.

“But-but...but why... why are you here?” Felix finally managed to ask.

“Oh kid,” Death laughed and then sighed “did you REALLY think that after that stunt you pulled, that you’d seen the last of me? Whelp, we’ve got a lot to go over, so we’d best get started right away.” Felix groaned in annoyance. He really needed to stop tempting fate like that.

---

Author's Note:

And so starts the grand tale of Felix in Equestria, wooooooo. Or more accurately, its a grand tale of Felix in a hospital ward, woooooo. This chapter took longer then I wanted to write, but I'm satisfied on where I leave it off. I still plan on trying to update weekly or baring some unseen force, at least bi-weekly. I hope you all enjoyed the first chapter, this is the longest piece of writing I've done in my life, and actually the most dialogue I've ever written too.

Anyway Felix's crazy adventures are just beginning.

Why has Death returned?
How does Celestia know of humans?
Does Dr. Condition find these author comments to be pretentious, in his professional opinion?
Will any of the audience members get this dated sitcom reference?

Find out on the next chapter of Cheating Death Act II: "The Reaper is my Co-Pilot" !