The effects of a strong Harmonic field upon soundwaves passing through it has been touched upon, briefly, but further exploration of this concept is, at times, merited. Among those times are those times when a large group of sentient, sapient beings within the effects of such a field begin acting en masse. At such times, those beings, be they hominid or equine, may find themselves acting in a choreographed manner. The accepted term for such events is a Musical Number.
The reason for this is not entirely known, particularly because one of the effects of a Musical Number is that those participating in it are, by and large, unaware of a Musical Number as an event in and of itself. The exceptions to this rule are those who, for one reason or another, are largely resistant to Harmonic effects.
One such person, Lord Havelock Vetinari, found himself wondering at the way the normal sounds of Ankh-Morpork were forming new patterns. Rhytmic patterns, in point of fact, with an underlying melody. When his companion for the past few days, Arch-Chancellor Mustrum Ridcully, opened his mouth to speak, the words that came out followed the same melody.
"A week of freakish weather,
"Has put us in a funk!"
Vetinari, frowning, found himself compelled to follow in suit, his own words twisted slightly to fit the rhythm, meter, and rhyming pattern of the Musical Number taking shape throughout the city.
"I hope this plan of yours will work,"
he sang,
"It seems a load of bunk!"
Ridcully nodded, acknowledging the Patrician's concerns, and replied.
"If the information that I have
"Is as true as I've been told,
"A party will be just the thing
"To drive away the cold!"
The two of them turned their attention from each other to the streets below, which were just beginning to fill with revelers, the citizens of Ankh-Morpork brought out of hiding partly because of the promise of a day of celebration, but also because of the influence of the Harmonic field and ensuing Musical Number.
"The streets are filled with snow and ice,
"But that won't slow us down!
"Some ale will make things warm and nice,
"And take away that frown!"
Some two miles from the Turnwise gate, Rincewind's estranged companions galloped not only into view of the city, but into the field of influence of the Musical Number themselves. Conina opened her mouth to speak, not noticing that her hopeful tone of voice had been modified into a musical equivalent.
"We're almost there, I see the gate,"
she sang,
"We'll all be back together then!"
"Oook--"
sang the Librarian, and Nijel nodded in grim agreement.
"Before it's too late!"
he caroled.
Celestia, heedless of her native companions' concerns, picked up her pace, one thought on her mind and lips.
"I'll see Luna once again!"
Meanwhile, on the grounds of Unseen University, the students and faculty, aware of the less-publicised purpose of the All's Fallow celebrations planned that day, began to file out of the University and into the streets of Ankh-Morpork, talking -- or, rather, singing, amongst themselves about their hopes for the event.
"Thaw Ankh-Morpork,
"Thaw Ankh-Morpork!
"Windigoes, we'll drive away!"
The general goodwill and cheer was doing its part in helping alleviate the chill that permeated what should have been an almost oppressively hot Summer Two midsummer's day (or All's Fallow, as it was more properly known, the one day of the year when witches and warlocks stayed inside). Cheered by this evidence of the plan's viability, the wizards got to work in earnest setting up decorations and preparing for the festival to get underway.
"Thaw Ankh-Morpork!"
they sang,
"Thaw Ankh-Morpork!
"Celebrate All's Fallow Day!
"Celebrate All's Fallow Day!"
As they sang, they helped usher the people of Ankh-Morpork into the large market square outside of Unseen University's massive, octiron gates. There, a stage had been prepared where various performances would help to keep the people's cheer up. At least, such was the plan. It remained to be seen if such a thing would actually come to pass.
In the meantime, the wizards sang on.
"Melt away the snow and ice,
"It has no business here!
"To help to make things green and nice,
"We'll fill the streets with cheer!"
Swept up in the celebration, as well as the rhythmic drive of the Musical Number, the people helped to prepare for the coming celebration, unconsciously joining their voices with those of the wizards.
"We'll celebrate,"
the people sang,
"'Til we can no longer stand!
"With fun and games..."
Immediately Turnwise of the great octiron University gates, a curtain was drawn, revealing a once well-known, now mysteriously forgotten trio, who lifted their instruments triumphantly and caroled,
"And a heck of a band!"
As the trio, whose names for some reason* eluded the memories of those present, accompanied the ongoing Musical Number, the wizards of Unseen University resumed their choral discourse, as well as their preparations.
"Thaw Ankh-Morpork,
"Thaw Ankh-Morpork!
"Windigoes we'll drive away!"
As they began to apply decorations, the people of Ankh-Morpork found themselves cooperating to an as-yet unheard of degree. They also found themselves singing along,
"Thaw Ankh-Morpork!
"Thaw Ankh-Morpork!
"Celebrate All's Fallow Day!
"Celebrate All's Fallow Day!"
* The reason was, in fact, that the forces of Narrative Causality had all but struck them completely from the Disc's history. Echoes of memories of the Band With Rocks In and their signature music style still lingered, but the memories themselves did not fare so well.
The decorating party spread out from the market square into the streets in general as the people sang out instruction to each other.
"Decorate the streets and homes
"With ribbons and balloons!
"Get ready, all, to celebrate!
"We're going to party soon!"
The merchants of Ankh-Morpork (particularly those from the Morporkean side of the river) were eager to not only join in the festivities, but to cash in on them as well.
"We'll sell our wares,"
they sang,
"like mead and pies..."
One merchant in particular proved particularly shrewd when it came to merchandise to offer, and his voice carried out in the sudden silence after his fellow merchants trailed off. Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler grinned avariciously as he held aloft a rather ratty, barely cohesive example of cold weather clothing, his heavily Morporkean-accented voice calling out,
"And these winter coats!
"You'll see with prices low as these,
"I'm cutting me own throat!"
As Dibbler's well-known catch-phrase rang out over the crowd, they resumed their decorating frenzy, all of them now participating not only in decorating their town from the costliest mansions in Ankh to the deepest, darkest corners of the Shades, but in caroling out the chorus begun by the wizards,
"Thaw Ankh-Morpork,
"Thaw Ankh-Morpork!
Windigoes we'll drive away!
"Thaw Ankh-Morpork,
"Thaw Ankh-Morpork!
"Celebrate All's Fallow Day!
"Celebrate All's Fallow Day!"
High atop the Tower of Art, in the heart of Unseen University, Rincewind the failed wizard* found himself torn between his usual panic and the Harmonic event that had swept across the city. In point of fact, as he was immediately adjacent to one of two fonts of Harmony present on the Disc, and the other was rapidly approaching the University gates in company with the rest of his companions, he was at Ground Zero and had no more chance of resisting participation in the Musical Number than he had of casting an Eighth Level spell**. Instead, he found himself compromising between the two, and giving voice to his numerous concerns in musical form.
"It hasn't been the best of times,"
he sang, an understatement of proportions overshadowed only by his next words,
"I'll admit to fear."
Luna, quite misinterpreting the thrust of his words, shook her mane out and smiled up at him, singing,
"I'm not afraid anymore,
"Now that you are here!!"
Rincewind was baffled. There were quite a number of things, he felt, to be afraid of, so he began to enumerate them.
"But the soldiers and those angry trolls,
"Windigoes out there, too!"
Luna, again grossly misinterpreting his intent, lowered her head and scooped him onto her back. Before he could do more than desperately clutch her mane to keep from falling, she had catapulted the two of them off the Tower of Art, her wings catching the wind and beginning the long (and to him, utterly terrifying) descent to the ground below. As they glided down, she watched her hero*** out of the corner of her eye, singing,
"Rincewind, you're so very brave,
"I owe my life to you!"
* His degree is, in fact, B. Magic (failed) and his hat reads "Wizzard" rather than "Wizard".****
** To say he had no chance at all would be overly generous.
*** As has been noted previously, the Equestrian historical view of Rincewind has been somewhat distorted due to the events in which he participated. It is even more accurate to state that a good deal of this perspective comes from Luna's own views on the man.
**** He has been informed that, due to a service he performed for the school, he can now call himself a wizard and spell it with as many "Z"s as he likes.
Rincewind and the younger of the two alicorns descended into the main grounds of Unseen University just as the elder alicorn and the rest of Rincewind's companions were let in the gate by a group of wizards who were transporting a crystallized butter sculpture of the school out into the market square to be the centerpiece of a massive spread of food ranging from the completely inedible to the merely unpalateable, provided by the University's kitchens. The wizards and citizens continued to sing as the preparations were nearing completion.
"Thaw Ankh-Morpork,
"Thaw Ankh-Morpork!
"Windigoes we'll drive away!
"Thaw Ankh-Morpork!
"Thaw Ankh-Morpork!
"Celebrate All's Fallow Day!
"Celebrate All's Fallow Day!"
Rincewind, surrounded once again by friends both new and old, was chagrined to find himself the center not only of their attention, but of everyone's. He looked around him, shoulders slumped in permanent defeat as he realized what it meant. It meant that, once again, Rincewind was going to be the much-put-upon cog in the grinding machinery of Life. He gritted his teeth, determined not to give in, but deep down, he knew that if there is a Destiny that shapes our ends, then It bore him some curious grudge for an offense he couldn't remember committing, and would see to it that his days were filled with as many Eventful Happenings as It could manage. He opened his mouth to scream some manner of pitiful defiance at It, but what came out instead was a sort of mournful resignation to his fate.
"It isn't right the way that things
"Always come back to me!
"I want to live a quiet life,
"Not go adventuring!
"What good's a wizard with no magic?
"That's what they always say,
"But I have to help so I must
"Do my best today!
"Do my best today!"
As he slouched his way towards the market square, the crowd closed around him, raising their voices jubilantly. Heedless of Rincewind's mood, the Musical Number's most potent form, the Finale, carried their words aloft, along with a highly concentrated charge of Harmonic energy.
"Thaw Ankh-Morpork,
"Thaw Ankh-Morpork!
"Windigoes we'll drive away!
"Thaw Ankh-Morpork!
"Thaw Ankh-Morpork!
"Celebrate All's Fallow Day!
"Celebrate All's Fallow Day!
"Celebrate All's Fallow Daaaaay!"
* * * * *
High above Ankh-Morpork, a number of entities were on hand to witness the Musical Number. The entire herd of Windigoes had converged on the city and realized too late the meaning of the massive, heart-shaped coalescence rising up to their level from the jubilant crowd. As the charge condensed prior to its final destructive release of Harmony, the Herd Stallion had just enough time to realize what it was and what it boded for both him and his entire herd. His final whinney, before a rainbow-hued wave of Harmonic energy swept him into oblivion, was both untranslateable and very rude, indeed.
Slightly further from the epicenter of the Harmonic blast, another being observed the event through angrily narrowed eyes. Discord, held aloft by a combination of his mismatched wings and a massive concentration of Disc magic, threw his claws up in disgust. His words, though requiring neither translation nor any form of censorship, conveyed an equal amount of ire.
"Oh, come on!"
Fuming, the horribly mismatched creature rolled up nonexistant sleeves. "I can see," he said, "I'm going to have to take a more personal hand in this." With a snap of his avian claws, he vanished in a flash of octarine light.
Personally, given Cohen's theories on courage (I.E. that true courage is acting to do what must be done no matter HOW DAMN SCARED YOU ARE AT THE TIME) I find that Luna's interpretation of Rincewind as brave isn't nearly as distorted as the writer supposes. * Also, remember, that in the end, she is a pony. Ponies are, at the end of it, a skittish bunch, and considering what she and her sister have been through, Rincewind glaring at a gopher and telling it to push off would seem extremely brave.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________
* In fact, given the simple fact that Rincewind has more fear and terror than almost any person on the disc-- not to mention most timid rodents and a few especially panicky cats-- and still winds up doing insanely heroic things, one can argue that by that definition Rincewind is actually the most courageous person in history, bar none. **
** Not that that would be any consolation were he to realise this, and would likely resent it mightily if he did.
2322703
It's worth noting that the Disc version of a hero isn't anything like Roundworld's idea of a hero. In fact, most Disc heroes are cut from the sword-and-sorcery adventurer mold: barbarians, the lot of 'em. That thing about true bravery stems from I don't even know how many after-school specials, Saturday-morning cartoons, comic books, and novels I've read, but it's something that's always rung true to me, and I figured Conina would be in the best position to deliver that line. Having it come by way of Cohen was a way to lend it some legitimacy in Rincewind's eyes. (The bit where he then said "I don't know about all that, but..." was an acknowledgement that the Disc really doesn't view it that way.)
Now, having said all that, I happen to agree with you. If Rincewind was even half the coward he claimed to be, Sourcery would have ended on a much darker note (what with Rincewind's actions being the only thing preventing the Apocralypse in that particular book), as he would have just up and fled and Coin wouldn't have been freed from his father's influence to undo the damage he'd done.
*Flails arms in the air* Why have no one told me about this Discworld crossover before the feature box just now! I will have to read this later on... when my read later list is a bit shorter
2322715
I hope you enjoy it when you do get around to reading it.
2322717
It have RIncewind in it... How would people not be able to enjoy it
2322712
Aww. You didn't say anything about the footnotes. Oh, well...
2322727
I apologize.* I figured my reply covered the points brought up in your footnotes as well as the post in general. I did giggle a bit when I saw you had not only put a footnote in**, but that you had further clarified that footnote with another one.***
2322718
To be fair, just because it includes a perennial favourite, it doesn't necessarily follow that it's well written. I happen to believe that it is well written, but I am admittedly biased.
Oh my god, it turns into a musical! And it is all so logical!
The part with Vetinari and Ridcully at the beginning reminds me of the beginning of "Mayhem of the Music Meister", where heroes and villains in the middle of something completely different suddenly start to sing (to their great embarassment). Great job!
Vetinari... joined in... on the Musical Number.
GLORIOUS!
The musical number was definitely the right choice. A perfect way to set the scene for the final showdown and demonstrate the power of Harmonic magic, especially in a realm so unused to it as the Discworld.
I'm honestly not sure how Discord plans on disrupting this. Ankh-Morpork has burst into song. The impossible has already happened. What more is there to do?
...Well, that's what you're going to show us, isn't it?
Epic insanity.
But where was Captain Carrot? I find it hard to believe he wouldn't have been involved, in at least some way, in a city-wide musical number, given his charisma, and... you know, the thing about him that's never precisely mentioned.
what it boded for both he and his entire herd.
him and his entire herd (see here, for example)
2322843
I'm glad you enjoyed it! We're well into the home stretch now!
2323048
He didn't really have a choice. Harmonic magic is a powerful thing, and he and Ridcully have been unwittingly experimenting with it ever since the Rite of Ashk'Ente back in chapter whatever. Two? Whatever. Anyway, he and Discord are pretty much the only ones currently wondering what the heck was up with that musical number just now. (Was going to link to Clueless Morgan asking that in Muppet Treasure Island, but the clip is sadly not coming up in youtube.)
2323378
Well, he's definitely not going to just sit back on his tail and enjoy the party. Plans have been foiled. Backup plans are taking their sweet time getting to the city (glaciers are notoriously slow means of travel).
2323596
The main reasons Carrot wasn't included are as follows:
1) I'm not as familiar with him as I am with other Discworld characters.
2) Too many named characters being referenced can turn a story from an enjoyable read into a case of obviously attempting to cater to more fans.
3) Much the same as with, say, Granny Weatherwax or Sam Vimes, this is more Rincewind's story. If I could think of a sensible reason to include them, I would.
Carrot's an interesting case, as he seems to have a bit of Horsery about him, himself. Would have been interesting to include him in the story from the beginning, but at its core, this is a Rincewind story and I don't want to take too much focus away from him. I made a conscious decision early on to limit the characters involved in this story to those I personally know to have interacted with Rincewind in a positive way, who could be referred to as his friends. (That's kind of necessary for what's coming next.)
As such, Carrot can be assumed (along with any other members of the City Watch who aren't on Night Watch duties and therefore asleep) to be among the revellers, doing their duty to the city in between choruses.
2323937
Ugh, I knew that was wrong when I wrote it. I considered changing it, but it didn't scan right to me, so I thought I'd just try to slip it past despite being incorrect. Fixing now.
2323981
Fair enough, particularly point #2. The big reason I brought up Carrot was a bit out of Men At Arms where Aguna thinks about Carrot leading the city in a song and dance number.
That said, Carrot DID work with Rincewind in the events of The Last Hero. (A must read for the artwork alone)
2324034
I completely forgot he was in that. It's been a long time since I read it. Sadly, if I were to include him, he would have to take the place of either Nijel or the Luggage in the... you know, the thing. Which is next damn chapter so I don't want to talk about it even though it's already been figured out in the comments.
This chapter is perfect, don't know why you were worried. I'm sure it was a lot of work though.
2324653
I think part of it is that I picked a song I knew you'd all recognize.
Oh man, please tell me everyone recognized the song. Oh god.
2324738
Whether he knows how is questionable, but he has a wonderful native guide to Partytown, thanks to Miyajima.
It wasn't until I got to the line, "Do my best today" that I realized that "Thaw Ankh-Morpork" was supposed to be sung to the tune of "Winter Wrap-Up". My mind had come up with a completely different (yet still quite serviceable) tune for it, but it swiftly vanished into the ether - never to return - once I'd realized what the true tune should be.
I'm not sure whether I should be annoyed or impressed.
2327032
Wait, you got all the way to the end of the last verse on a different melody? That's pretty cool, actually. ...and you don't remember what song that was...
Haah, wow, this was epic, and the Winter Wrap Up tune was immediately recognizable, too. Awesome chapter
Just call him Fate. Everyone does
Yup. That covers both meanings of "untranslatable"
Found just one error:
> untranslateable
Should be "untranslatable".
This chapter has given me the urge to laught, so I'll be doing that now.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAaaaa....
Now I'll go back to pretend emotions is something that happens to other people.
My face when I realize what tune you're using for Ankh-Morpork's Musical Number:
My face when I think how drunk they're all going to have to get to forget this utter embarassment:
DisQord: OH COME ON!
Sweetie Bell concurs.
First of all I want to say that this fanfic is awesome. If I didn't know this was a fanfic I could probably have been fooled into believing it was an actual Discworld book.
Secondly, THAT MUSICAL NUMBER WAS AMAZING!
Sang to the tune of "Winter Warp Up".
Considering that the population of Ankh-Morpork has oft-times been described as a 'mob-in-waiting' it seems very reasonable that they'd also form quite the decent ensemble if enough horsery were present.
Nice work on the musical number.
2327223
I managed to get about that far using "At The Gala", but I had to ignore several rhythmic hiccups to do so.
7634136 I got most of the way with "What my Cutie Mark is Telling Me"
7855618 Does this mean I'm the only one who heard the melody for Making Christmas from The Nightmare Before Christmas?