• Member Since 24th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen 25 minutes ago

Talon and Thorn


My Entry to RainbowDoubleDash's Hearts and Hooves Collab taking place in the Lunaverse shared setting.

Pokey Pierce arrives at work the day after Hearts and Hooves day and hears Trixie talking to someone in her room, could she have a secret lover?

Lets find out.

(Now edited for strange french spelling and topographical acuracy)

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 19 )

:rainbowlaugh: very amusing.

I'll be honest, I saw the ending coming a mile away. Still, it was an entertaining read and the double meanings made me smirk

Hahaha pointy ninja :rainbowlaugh:

Canonically, Trixie's bedroom is on the second floor of the residency :raritywink: and the spelling you're looking for is 'Monsieur' (and as a quirk of the French language, that word is not pronounced anything closed to how it is spelled:derpyderp1:) .

Anyway, nice work!!

Trixie and Monsieur Bourbon - the love that will never die! Cute story! It's Trixie's dialogue (well, monologue) that really makes it work, I think.

Ah, my. At least it ain't her mirror.

You think that's bad? Try Versailles. Just under half the letters in it are silent.

2097110:unsuresweetie: aside from the 's' being silent Versailles isn't a hard word to pronounce. All the phonem in it are in other words. Monsieur on the other hand is basically an old French word that never evolved in spelling but did in speaking. The plural, Messieurs, only has the 'r' at the end to worry about.

It's my understanding that Versailles is pronounced ver-sie. Making the "lles" extraneous. Prior to learning how to pronounce it I called it ver-sah-ee-laess

2097326 Ah I see... yes from your point of view a lot of the letters are extraneous, but it's fairly consistant with other words in French that end in 'ail' or 'aille' so it's not that difficult to read... but when you start learning to read in first grade there will always be someone who trips on monsieur...even if the teacher actually points it out before begining. :facehoof:

Now edited for French spelling and correct spacial lay out.

I had originally planned to try and make it more of a suprise but, well, I couldn't figure out how.

I did sort of remember the residency's lay out I think it was in some thread a while back although I can't find it now, anyway the extra journey up the stairs has now been added.

Oddly the first bit of this story was the Trixie dialoge which came to me on the walk to work where I do all my best thinking but once I actually started to write it I was most inspired by the Pokey parts. Trixie's monologue was originally going to be much longer but I just couldn't think of anything else.

I've seem worse "Throat Wobbler Mango Grove" Spelt Smith (someone's bound to get the reference).

HA! Hilarious.

this made mw have a good laugh! nice little story man! i must admit short the story im working on is almost done and its a bit longer then thsi but still great job :twilightsmile:

Not bad for a first outing. In fact, pretty darn excellent for any outing. The premise is simple and predictable enough, but quite well executed regardless, and the added degree of mind screw from Trixie's double entendre laced monologue, simply marvelous.

He saw…


He Heard…


He remembered….

Trixie’s bedroom was upstairs!

He felt…


Oh god, I shouldn't have read this in class! I died and everyone is giving me odd looks!:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

Seriously though, very nice for a first try. Or any try, really. You have a great grasp of humor!


That part was entirely a rewrite based on the fact that I personally forgot that Trixie's bedroom was upstairs so I though Pokey should as well.

Well it was beautiful anyway!:pinkiehappy:

Darn it, I was writing a Trxie x Bourbon fic!


There's nothing stopping you writing a better one, as long as you note me as your inspiration :scootangel:

Ah what the hell. I lol'd. Have a like. :eeyup:

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