We were her army. We supported her to the very end. We devoted ourselves, and put our lives on the line because we believed in her cause. We would have died if it meant furthering her goals...
And now I am all that remains of that army, the first to swear fealty to her once she realized the truth. And now I am free once again. And I have...befriended the bearers of the Elements of Harmony. The ones who freed me of my prison.
But I have since learned something, something I will never forgive them for.
Darkness, light, it doesn't matter any more. I just want there to be silence. I want it all to disappear. I want...
Chapters (6)
REJOICE! Bad things are about to happen.
2095520
Hm, not necessarily. What could he honestly do?
Pffft. Yeah, I know. Human ingenuity and thinking could cause some major damage if focused the right way. But we'll just have to see where it goes.
---
On a side note, I am still debating if I should have him know any magic. It wouldn't be anything too powerful. Couple of ice spells or something. My question is, would this turn him too much into a Gary Stu if I were to do that?
My rule of thumb is to give every character I think of ONE ability he wouldn't normally pick up in his/her line of work. For example, someone might be a programmer but have some first aid knowledge. A farmer with an above average marksman capability. The problem with Gary Stu's is that they pick up skills without any apparent effort whatsoever. Being in the service of Nightmare Moon WOULD mean he could probably pick up a few spells, if only just because N.M. casts dark spells on him to allow him to do so.
2095661
Yeah, that makes sense. It's just that I'm trying as hard as I can to write a my first HIE without making my main character a Gary Stu, like so many people seem to do. I'm going to be as careful as I can...But he might just know a few spells anyway. Wouldn't hurt.
2095695
It's best to question yourself. Think: What was his purpose in relation to N.M.? If he was a tactical adviser he wouldn't have many combat spells. If he was her staunch defender he would focus more on shields.
this is awesome, please continue
Mess with twilight get my fav and follow
2095549 he seems more of chainmail and claymore type of guy just my humble opinion! Tho
2098621
Nah, trust me. He's not. I haven't really fleshed out his personality yet, but just trust me on this one.
this is REALLY good! keep up the good work
2099212
Hey, thanks. I definitely will be continuing it.
Interesting story, seems alright so far.
If he has magic he should of tried to escape first, no way he thought he could take on celestia.
2243862 I don't think he was thinking straight, you know, what with the thousand years of being trapped in stone while conscious. I think he'd be a bit angry and we all know what happens when people get sufficiently angry.
Nuke Celestia
can't wait til' the next chapter, keep up the good work
2243862
He's been repressing his anger throughout the entire chapter, and it all came rushing back when he was freed. Under normal circumstances, yes, he probably would have. He wasn't thinking straight at all. Notice how he hardly uses such language even in his thoughts and monologues?
2243885
Pretty much this, yes.
2244059
That is exactly what he was planning to be perfectly honest. He just doesn't have the power to do such a thing.
2244099
Oh there will be more.
2244213
Oh don't worry about that. I'll try to keep the length at around 3500 to 4000 if I can. And if I ca go even higher, I'll definitely try.
This was a good chapter i'm looking fowrd to the next.
Question, will he ever get a name? Because until then, I'm just going to think of him as Cain
2244723
Thanks, I'll try not to make the wait for the next chapter as long as this one was.
2245582
I'm actually debating that. I have a few ideas for his name, but it might also be interesting to never reveal it.
It also might be a cool idea if he went by a name, just not his own. A title of sorts. Based on his abilities, and his role in Nightmare Moon's army.
2245685 that title idea sounds like a good idea with him only reveling his name to hoom he trust.
2245730
Well, it's a moot point as it stands now. Even he doesn't remember it. Though when he does he might reveal his name to those he absolutely trusts. Which will most likely be no one for a looooooong time.
2272341 cant blame him after 1000 years tends to make you a little untrustful
Not bad
2303008 Thanks.
Another side note. He is, in fact, featured in several trashy romance novels. Only they weren't pony made. They were written by gryphon authors. Let that sink in for a moment.
4.bp.blogspot.com/-FJHnVwg_w1k/UNCAAi1HaPI/AAAAAAAALG4/y7FP4EEXL84/s320/wait-what-meme-rage-face.jpg
2411035
Oh yes, it was more to do with his ability to eat meat and his hands than anything else.
Interest in human-gryphon romance started a few centuries after his imprisonment, he was featured in more than a few of them, but the practice died out a good five hundred years before he was released.
Princess Celestia has made every copy of the books they could find in every major pony city disappear in lieu of his release.
2411104 goodguy Celestia makeing books disappear that evole hands
Eis...it's good, although I'm still partial to Cain
ohhhh
2411122
Eh, it was more out of an attempt to keep him from finding out while he's not in his right mind.
2411461
Eis isn't his real name, it was just something he made up on the spot to hide the fact that he doesn't even remember his own name. And to give them something to call him by other than "human."
2411530
*GAAAAAAASP*
2411654 heres hoping he ever finds out. bad thigs poofed in to my skull when you said "and hands" bad things.
i like it i will be here when it ends
2411749
That was intentional.
2412331
Thanks.
2412345
Well, I can't answer that first question, to do so would spoil something major I'm planning. I can however answer your second question. If Eis ever does meet Nightmare Moon again, yes there would be feels. So much feels.
2412513
Now THAT would be a major spoiler. Sorry.
2412599 awwwwwww
2412605 offer him bacon. no one can resist bacon.
still liking this story the chapters are pretty good.
One of the first words Nightmare is going to have to learn is "earmuffs", I presume.
2418874
If that's a reference to something, it went right over my head.
2420000
My family has this thing where if someone's about to curse, someone says earmuffs and all the little kids cover their ears.
When you said Griffons the first thing I thought of was Gilda. Is he going to meet Gilda?
2477123
I actually hadn't planned on it...but it would be kind of funny for Gilda to meet him and realize where she recognizes him from. I'm going to have to work out exactly why she knows though.
It's gonna be a bit hard to write her into the story though. She only showed up once in season 1, this starts right after Luna Eclipsed and right before Sisterhooves Social. So unless Gilda shows up in season 4, it probably won't happen in one of the normal chapters, probably a side story chapter or something.
FUCKING FINALLY
It's about time someone took the initiative
Awesome
*Golf clap*
And now it will be winter in ponyville
lh6.ggpht.com/_G8H6IpH0Q7U/TYt0mITWWtI/AAAAAAAAUxg/HG-V8XBDHeQ/Image.jpg?imgmax=800
2545541
Yep. Too bad he forgot to do so though.
2545852
Oh you have no idea the things I have planned. It's all probably not as epic and awesome as I think it is though. Now if I could only get off my lazy ass and finish writing this chapter...
2567654
I can honestly say at this point that there will be no snuggles from him regarding Luna. If he ever encounters Nightmare Moon again though, that may be a different story.
There is a very good reason Celestia is keeping him away from Canterlot at this point.
2569879
Eis: NIGHTMARE!
Nightmare Moon: Huh?
Eis: HUGS!!!
Nightmare Moon: GET OFF ME YOU FOAL!
I now work night shift and I'm training myself to stay up later and sleep during the day to help me deal with the six 10pm to 7am shifts I have coming this week, and I was dead tired and totally about to cave and sleep early (I still have 7 hours to go too) when I went through my favorite list and decided to start reading this story.
I told you that to tell you this: I've been getting up to take a walk around the house not in an attempt to keep me awake while reading, but because this story has had be sitting at the edge of my seat in excitement and I kept having to pace to burn off all the extra energy I was getting.
Okay so this whole explanation is terrible but the point is MY GOSH THIS STORY IS AMAZING and I'm so glad I decided to read it tonight and my gosh I hope you update this soon because I want to read MORE!