• Member Since 18th Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen June 21st

Dementia Ravenmane


I'm just a simple horse trying to make my way through the universe. People say I'm bad at writing happy endings.

T
Source

TRIGGER WARNING: Absolute garbage, will be rewritten in the future

After the events of Half-Life 2, Gordon Freeman and Alyx Vance find themselves in Equestria. Apparantly the G-Man had given them some "vacation", but what is his true intentions? Will Gordon and Alyx be able to make it back to city 17? And is Gordon's ability to attract trouble still working in this world?
(second-person fanfic featuring you as Gordon)
(NO, this is not Episode 3. It takes place between Half-Life 2 and Episode 1)

Chapters (4)
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Comments ( 61 )

it's about time for a half life crossover and hopefully it won't just stop

2102468 Nope, i have no plans on stopping. Although new episodes may be less frequent. :scootangel:

Dear god in heaven, fix that grammar error in your description before the grammar Nazis descend.

After the events of Half-Life 2, Gordon Freeman and Alyx Vance find themselves in Equestria. Apparantly the G-Man had given them some "vacation", but what ishis true intentions? Will Gordon and Alyx be able to make it back to city 17? And is Gordon's ability to attract trouble still working in this world?
(second-person fanfic featuring you as Gordon)
New character tags to come, i have yet to decide between Changelings and Combine.

And for the love of heck, know where your story is going, or at least don't say you don't know.

Reading now.

2102497 Thanks for spotting the error, and i decided anyways, just forgot to update description. :twilightsheepish:

Get an editor or proof-read your work for errors, and don't "tell" what characters are like, show. And lastly, but most definitely the most important, switch this to the first person perspective of Gordon Free-pony. I'm not Gordon, I don't have a shotgun, I don't have a horn, he does, write things from his perspective.

2103077 I don't like to write from a first person perspective, and i had a proofreader/editor for the first chapter. If i can't satisfy you then i am sorry, there is a strict no-refunds policy on this story.

2103077 All I did was spell-check. I'm not going to tell this guy how to write, because frankly, stories of this genre and format are not within my realm of interest, so I would have no idea on how to correct him.

Gordon.
What are you doing?
Gordon!
STOP! (RIGHT THERE, CRIMINAL SCUM!)

I don't usually read 2nd person fics, but this one has my interest.

Also, has Dr. Freeman(e) obtained something akin to Pyrovision? I know it's most likely something akin to PTSD, but I like the Freemanvision idea better. And when will he meet Celestia and Luna?

2110745 Oh believe me, he will meet Celestia soon...
There is a reason behind the gore tag you know. :pinkiecrazy:

2106416 Are you going to blame him?:fluttershysad: He is pretty much suffering from ptsd.

When I read this, I listen to this.

2132585

Oi!
Oh?

Ass.

Wa ha ha ha ha!

Hmmmm... Personnally, this would have been better in third or first person, and it is rather confusing trying to read it. It is as if your story is a butterfly, flicking from one thing to another. (For instance, they went from bipeds to quadrupeds, instantly adapting, there was no freaking out about that, Gordon instantly knew how to use his weapons, Alyx immediately realizes the ponies are sentient, ect.) Other than that, I like the idea behind this. I would suggest slowing down for the next chapter, letting Gordon 'get a feel' for the whole experiences. Imagine yourself in Gordon's shoes, and think of how confusing it would be. Plus, the whole battle scene at the end is very confusing. I mean, he instantly kills all the gaurds, Twilight does nothing for her brother, Alyx just stand there? No offense is meant, but attempt to 'clean it up,' if you will, in the next chapter.

2279995 Thanks for critic, this is just my adaptation of Gordon. I'm sure we see of him differently. I try to think that he is, judging from everything he has seen, ready to accept way more than a regular human. And let's not forget that the G-Man took him to Equestria, I bet he would make sure Gordon isn't as prepared as an infant. Remember that Gordon DID instantly know how to use alien weapons when he found them. Also, I think the average citizen of Equestria or the guards for that matter is used or trained to deal with the level of violence that Gordon showed when he took on the guards, what I am trying to say is that Twilight was frozen by shock. And Alyx was taken by suprise too.
P.S Next chapter will be slower.
P.P.S I don't like to write 1st person, and it felt weird to write Gordon from a 3rd person perspective.
P.P.P.S Remember that this is my interpretation of Gordon, Alyx and Equestria, if you have a different view of it. There isn't much I can do.

Episode 3: I mostly post my stories here for fun, I don't really care for views. Although it is a fun little bonus.

2280507
I perfectly understand you view on the adaptation of Gordon, in fact, I like the personality. The acceptance of Gordon of the ponies is completely understandable too. I'm not trying to knock your Gordon, It's more the fact that the story itself is set too fast. It's be like playing though HL2, getting off the train, then finding yourself fully loaded and fighting a horde of aliens... That's all. The basic plot of the story is great, its just the delivery needs refining.

2280553 I have troubles with slow starts, I tried writing a story with a slow start once...
You don't want to know how fast I got stuck... :twilightsheepish:
But I can work some on the pacing in future chapters.
And remember, this is only chapter 1... :raritywink:

2280588
It's not so much as fast as it is skipping over in huge leaps of illogic. I will continue to read, possibly critique your chapters, in the hopes of helping you become a better writer. I hope that people would do the same for me. Ta Ta for now, and have a very safe day.

(MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)

Please inform me of any formatting errors I might have missed. :twilightsmile:

No, this does not count as a first comment... Although "First" commenters will get a crowbar to the crotch. :twilightangry2:

*Edit: By Stalin's manly moustache! Over 5000 words in this chapter!

Do I sense foreshadowing?

Personally, I want to see some witty inner thoughts like those of Freeman's Mind.
fc03.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2011/214/f/d/freemane__s_mind_by_bibliodragon-d42gspf.png

2297474 Explain please. What do you mean with foreshadowing?

2297590 I'll see what I might do. :raritywink:
Next episode is scheduled to be released in ####.
Because someone at school called me a cynical meanie. <--- true story... :pinkiecrazy:

2297725

Where Freeman mentions camouflaging ponies/combine, is it by any chance Changeling related?

As for what foreshadowing is, it's giving hints about future events earlier in the story.

2298003 You mean that he thinks the royal guard and Celestia is Combine?
Nah, that is what a psychiatrists would call PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).

Something tells me the next chapter will take a long, long time.

This is like valve time x2

"Surrender now Freemane! You are under arrest!"

Sounds like a quote from a soldier from half life 1

2321923 I think you are thinking of the quote "Surrender now! We have you surrounded, at least from this side!"

Which is Soldier from Team Fortress 2.

2322741 no I mean the ending sentence of Ch. 2 I play a lot of half life 1 and I swore I heard that quote from a soldier like in this link

http://goatsilla.deviantart.com/art/Corporal-Shephard-is-it-323546889

Just Noticed It Isn't Up To Episode Three Yet......Hurrhurrhurr:pinkiecrazy:

2334380 I Just Realized That The Chapters Are Two(Episode One And Two) And That There Is No Episode Three(In The Game) And You Know The Saying "Valve Can't Count To Three" And I Kinda Compared It To This(No Offense If Taken Any:fluttershysad:)

2334409 What is this "three" thing you are talking about? :unsuresweetie:
Is it in some foreign language? I only know English, Swedish and a little Spanish...

2334444..............:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:I Get What Your Playing At............:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

I'm Laughing So Hard Right Now........

2356595 *AHEM* Because you do realize how hard it is to release the actual one do you? I mean, imagine the paperwork required to be allowed to add a "3" to something legit that is related to Half Life 2... :facehoof:

Today is Apiril first...
Now I get why you troll us.

I hope Gabe does not troll us with fake Half Life 3.

You're going to put this on Valve time, aren't you?

2383290 Actually, I have chapter 3-5 written. I'm just waiting for my proofreader to finish chapter 3. :twilightsmile:

This chapter was worth the weight.

I guess Freemane really is the captain of the Intergalactic House of Pancakes.

2430058 It's only going to get better.

Woot freemans mind refrence!!!

Me want MOAR:flutterrage:

3788391 I'm going to rewrite this thing into something better.

Reading it, I really think it's an issue that everyone is either blamed too much or forgiven too easily. For example hey have a point that he slaughtered a bunch of guards and tried to kill Celestia, but they don't care that he was defending himself.

I also think they dealt with being transformed and brought into a completely new world a bit fast...

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