• Member Since 24th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Mar 29th, 2015

the darkside phoenix


E

A accidental trip to Equestria changed my life in a way I will never forget.

Chapters (12)
Comments ( 13 )

Tracking, intresting fanfic i like it :pinkiehappy:

It's a good story, but I suggest you get a proof-reader to check everything over before you release each chapter.

>> Theangryman i would like to do that but its really hard since im not american so even if i could found a proof-reader he or she would not speak english :applecry: if you can suggest one to me i would love it but it would have to be online

I notice quite a few spelling mistakes as well as some others. Use paragraphs to make the story feel less clustered and more organised.

I felt confortabe, i felt like i was laying in a bed, and i felt the sheets over my chest, i was to weak to wake up at the moment, but i could see a bright light hitting my face, i knew i wasn´t at the forest anymore the leaves where to deep to let so much light get in, i also knew i wasn´t home my room wasn´t that bright not even leaving all my windows open.

Now for a slightly corrected version

I felt comfortable, I felt like I was laying in a bed and I felt the sheets over my chest. I was to weak to wake up at the moment, but I could see a bright light hitting my face. I knew I wasn´t at the forest anymore the leaves where to deep to let so much light get in, I also knew I wasn´t home my room wasn´t that bright not even leaving all my windows open.

there are some more mistakes I'm sure but I dont really feel like going through them right now. Other than that I will track this story as it has gained my interest.

161322 thank you for tracking i really appreciate it a lot
also thanks for the correction and the advice i will correct the mistakes with it
i kinda have a hard time with the spelling since im not american, english is not my first language so what you see is the best i can do

I cant believe Im actually enjoying this :derpytongue2:
Seems like I dont get annoyed if whole story is written in "bad" english, but I rage when I see one little problem in otherwise perfect grammar...
So yeah, looking forwards to future chapters (Would be nicer if the chapters were a bit longer :pinkiehappy:(Well yeah, who wouldnt like long fanfictions :rainbowlaugh:))

Interesting story. Although there are so many i that should be I that it almost drove me insane. But once I put that craziness behind me, I found myself enjoying the story. Keep up the good work.

177424 thanks for the correction, as I already said im not american so i didn´t knew that the i had to be captioned, thanks for tracking

740706
Oh! you weren't expecting that! Were you? What you thought the "romance" tag was there for?

Not too shabby this fic is starting to grow on me

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