Kill Me Now

by Golden Script

52. It's a date

“That’s great!! Where do we start?” I asked applejack, I was surprised she would be so willing to let me work with her; I might not be any good at apple bucking.

“Well, the south fields should be nice ‘n ripe. Let’s head over that way.” She started to walk out the door.

“Applejack, are you ok?” she turned back to me.

“What makes ya ask that?” her head tilted in confusion, I found this overwhelmingly cute.

“Well, just a few minutes ago you were hugging me about to cry.” The cuteness dissipated in a second, replaced by anger.

“Ah was NOT gonna cry!” she took one threatening step towards me, I, in turn, took one back.

“Ok, ok, I believe you. But you did hug me.” I raised an eyebrow accusingly

“Yeah, ah guess ah did.” She looked down and to the side in thought.

“Um… we should get to work.” This snapped her out of her daze.

“Yes, yes yer right.” And with that we left for the south fields.

-----

We were only a minute or two out when I noticed the look of thought on her face.

“Wacha thinking so hard about?” I asked her in a more worried tone.

“Huh? Oh, nothin.” She assured me, didn’t believe a word of it though.

“So do you space off over nothing a lot then?” I asked in a half serious voice.

“No, it’s none of yer business!” she looked away.

“Well then, this will be all the more awkward.” She looked at me with a worried look; I looked on with my best poker-face.

After a minute she gave in “fine, ah was thinkin about how ah hugged yall like that.” She must think I don’t have respect for her or something.

“It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.” I tried to get a closer look at her face, her beautiful orange face; her golden locks were in the way.

“Ahm not embarrassed.” She looked down even more.

“Applejack.” I stopped in front of her and lifted her chin to look me in the eye; we locked eyes and stayed there for a minute.

We started to move closer, slowly, but surely. Then she looked away. I was disappointed that I couldn’t kiss her, but she still needed my comfort.

“AJ, you don’t need to be embarrassed. I didn’t know my father either.” With this she looked up at me, it was my turn to watch the dirt.

“y-you’re jus sayin that!” I shook my head slowly; a hoof shot to her mouth “ah am so sorry.” She hugged me again, but this time to comfort me.

“Why are you sorry?”

“Because ah know how ya feel, ah know how it felt.” She kept hugging me.

“Thank you, Applejack.” I hugged her back.

We just hugged for the next few minutes. I thought about my family, rather, the lack of knowledge. I could only assume that was what she was thinking too. When we finally parted she glanced up at me from behind her golden curtain of hair. I was blown away by the beauty. She looked like she wanted to ask something but was too afraid to ask.

“What is it?” she looked up at me with surprise.

“Ah… ah was jus wondrin about the rest of yer family.” She looked down again.

“I know nothing of my family.” She was shocked.

“Yall must have somepony! A cousin, grandparent, sibling, fourth aunt thrice removed!”

“I have nopony; I have traveled all my life, raised by a traveling vendor.” The trail had a very coarse grain.

“Then he was family!” she seemed happy that I had somepony.

“I guess, but as soon as I was old enough to travel on my own he practically kicked me out.” The dirt was dry and sandy, nothing like the soil just off the track; it was obviously used constantly.

“That seems a bit extreme. Are yall sure he didn’ do it with good intentions?”

“How could leaving you at a curb in the middle of a rainstorm be ‘good intentions’?” she gasped in horror.

“How old were you?” she asked through her hoof

“Eight.” If my head could go lower, I would look like an ostrich with its head underground.

“And you’ve been travelin eva since?” I nodded.

She hugged me again, for the third time today. But then something new happened. I felt pressure on the top of my head, I slowly lifted my snout to meet the beautiful green eyes of the mare I loved so. She blushed, that’s when I figured out exactly what she had done. The small kiss burned on my head, it was a good burning, like the warm burning sensation of a strong cider flowing down your throat.

We started moving closer and closer. When we got close enough I closed my eyes, in one swift motion our lips met and my body was full of electricity. It did not spasm as if I was getting shocked, but my heart beat became fast and erratic.

When we parted I was breathing hard “was it really that great? It wasn’t even an open-mouth.” Applejack was obviously surprised.

“Well, I have had a small, teeny tiny crush on you ever since I saw you.” I shrank down to half my size.

“So was that all just to get me?” I would never talk about this stuff for that.

“No. everything I have told you today is true. I would never lie to you.” I wasn’t lying there either.

“So ya never had a family,” I shook my head no “and ya like me?” I shook my head yes “and ya don’t have anything planned tomorra?” I looked up at her, she had a look on her face that was a nervous excited.

“For you, anytime, any day.” She looked into my sole with those emerald eyes of hers.

We hugged again. It was full of passion and meaning.

“We have a lot o work ta get done today and ah still have yet to tell ya ‘bout how Granny Smith discovered zap apples.” She smiled nicely and walked away.

I smirked and followed her. I knew that this was exactly what I came here to do and I knew that I would do everything in my power to make it last.

“It all started when Granny was a young filly…”

Author's Note:

still looking for all of your thoughts on wether I should write all of derpy and Fluttershy's stories or if I should summarise what happens into a few chapters. I really need your feedback on this.

thanks!!

Comments

[FicusCat]

Mindfucking story.

And not in a good term; there is too much things that make no sense for me; and there is a lot of all the awfull clichés I find repulsive in these kind of stories.

You have the MC, with rich parents, genius in enginering, able to create lots of things; but he's not loved, he's been bullyied all his life, every teachers have stoled his inventions, every roomates have betrayed him, the girl he loved seems to have dumped him, etc ... Wow seriously I don't feel pity for him, it's just too much BS to be believable as a backstory.

And how he arrive in Equestria, it's confusing, even after reading the whole chapter a few time it make no sense. He got teleported ? How ? By who ? He killed himself ? Then what's the fuck about the dream and the girl ?

The whole Latin speaking is BS too, where was he able to learn it and to speak it so fluently? Ever try to learn Latin ? And the worst is it doesn't matter, because after chapter 3 this isn't mentionned anywhere and serve no purpose, you just make that to show how smart the MC he's.

In town the ponies don't give a fuck about him, Twilight act way to casual with him after meeting him in a creepy way ( come on, he just exited an alley with a small unicorn filly, how creepy is that ? )
He was hating his parents and their way of life ( stepping on others less successfull without remorse ), but the first thing he do while meeting Rarity is acting like them ? And showing how talented and fashionnable he is ?
And another thing, they were searching for Dinky, they meet Rarity, the MC pull is BS and then ? Go to sleep, afterall they never seen dinky on the way back, who care if she found her mom or anything.

And then another major BS, after a night of sleep ... he doesn't give a fuck about being alive or in a world of colorful talking equine ? Worst, he goes in full prank mode with sex-prank ? Just no, not believable in the slightest.

I'm not even going to bother to say more, everything after make no sense, the characters act OoC, the MC is a blatant Mary Sue knowing everything yaddah yaddah.

[Golden Script]

2440391
i am really sorry that you cannot enjoy my story like my other readers. i really am.

everything in this paragraph has a reason, he was treated like shit because of his rich parents.

it is confusing because he doesnt know what happened or how. i will have Celestia explane it later. trust me. and remember, he is not dead.

the latin thing is important later.

she does not see him exit the alley, nopony does, they do however notice him when everypony starts staring at him. she just wants to make a friend.

i have explaned the rarity situation before. look through the comments on the story from when that was the most recent chapter.

he is worried, yes, but he trusts her to find her mother and she does, if you read later chapters, this is kinda important.

he has already accepted it. he knows that he is in the mlp world, though he knows not what mlp is. he sees this as a new start, a place without the evil bastards that live in his world. and the sex prank was just something that i thought would be funny.

the rest is purely your personal opinion, i have other readers that think this is a great story and i agree, everything has its quarks and i am no acception, i really apreciate that you would take the time to write a comment like that. i really like long comments. a lot. so thank you.

i am sorry that you are not open-minded enough to see the joy of this story and its uniqueness. i do hope that you will read on and watch me grow as a writer.

thank you.

[FicusCat]

i am sorry that you are not open-minded enough to see the joy of this story and its uniqueness.

I was open minded when first discovering the fanfiction of mlp.

But then hundreds of badly written story, full of self-insert done for wish-fulfillement ruined it.
Reading HiE stories, where the MC always have a tragic past, go to Equestria by unknown means, become insta-friend with the Mane 6 mere secondes after being dropped in the world, start to BANG them in less than 10 chapters, then change into a pony/alicorn while discovering his amazing destiny/Mary Sueness is fucking boring and disgusting.

YES, some authors manage to make some original things, but it's always ruined by something.

In your story the MC seem to have been split into 6 pony, each one with a distinct story/personnality that was part of the original character. THAT's an original thing.
BUT it's ruined by the fact that every one of them is only here to fuck one of the Mane 6 or background pony.

You depict every character as a wanton slut, make a clop story instead, you don't need to whore every pony and write mindless sex in every damn chapters of the story of your OC.
Seriously, reread the story, it's like :
Twilight : Wow, you speak like Dillon and you play bass too, please fuck me at once, I love you !
Fixinit : I don't know who Dillon is, but I'm going to fuck you right away !

There is NO pacing, it's insta-love or insta-sex the moment the chosen pony see each other.

BUILD the relationship, make it believable, you don't fall in love with an alien in less than 2 days, and you don't mourn him for 2 weeks then drop his memories for a stallion with just one or two common point with him.

[Golden Script]

2440848
Oh, I'm sorry, have they had sex yet? No? Then stop it, I rushed dillon, yes, but I'm taking it slow now. Plus who ese had sex other than vinyl? I just see her as a little slutty.

They didn't bang in less than ten chapters and I have yet to conferm that any of the new stallions are dillon in any way.

Thank you for your feedback, I really enjoy talking to my readers, even the anti fans.

[dargondarkfire]

2440848
i think i could take you comments more seriously if... that wasn't you avatar

[The 10th Doctor]

Love for everyone. Heh, a huge twist would be if Dillon actually meets the "(6)newcomers" in Ponyville. It would be a huge wtf moment for everyone.