Chapter 1 - Pony Nature Unchanged
A loud thud rang throughout the bar as Trixie’s hoof slammed against her table. “You idiot!” Trixie scolded herself, “You just killed yourself in your own flicking novel!”
Trixie shoved her quill away and buried her face in her hooves to stifle a sob. Her muse had been absent for a week, which left her to make several poor choices with her writing. Trixie took a deep breath and wiped the tears from her weary eyes. An empty bottle of apple cider reflected the tired face of a downtrodden mare. She waved the bartender over for another drink.
Trixie frequented this bar almost daily for the past few months. It wasn’t much of a place, a meager hole in the wall with a barely appetizing menu, but it was quiet and secluded. The latter point served well for the fact that Trixie was actively avoiding her landlord. Again.
This had become something of a monthly tradition for the Unicorn.
Trixie found it difficult to rebuild her reputation since the incident four months ago where she nearly ruined the town of Ponyville with a dangerous magical artifact. Sure, most of the townsfolk forgave her after the trouble she caused them with that amulet, but apologies don’t repair one’s reputation of being a fraudulent stage magician who willingly used taboo magic. Trixie simply could not get an audience to attend her magic shows and she was ill-skilled to take up a new career in a field outside entertainment. Trixie had hoped that writing a few fictional novels would help start her on a new path to solvency.
Thus far it didn’t end well.
Trixie’s thoughts were interrupted by the clink of a glass set on the table.
“Thank you Sundowner,” Trixie said meekly.
The tall, dusk-coated stallion brushed back his orange mane. “If it weren’t for the fact you’ve stuck to virgin drinks,” Sundowner stated matter-of-factly, “I’d have worried about you sooner.” The stallion pulled a bottle from a saddlebag of drinks that he wore and poured apple cider into the clean glass he laid down.
“You know, you can’t hide from your landlord forever.”
“Bah, tell me something I don’t know,” Trixie muttered angrily as she levitated the glass of cider with her magical power.
The stallion shook his head as he replaced the bottle back into his bag. “You know, you should just get an honest job,” Sundowner suggested. “I could always use another pretty waitress around here and that lifting magic of yours would be an advantage in carrying the serving trays. The pay isn’t great n’ powerful, but it’s a steady gig.”
Trixie took a heavy gulp of her drink and firmly slammed the glass on the table. “First of all, the scientific term for Unicorn levitation is Pony-kinesis and not 'lifting magic.' Secondly, I will not condescend myself down to becoming some common serving wench!” Trixie ended her statement with an angry hiss through her teeth. Sundowner merely shrugged and left her to attend to his other customers. Trixie felt the room was stifling her. She felt her life was stifling her. Although her money was nearly gone, Trixie was determined to be the greatest magical pony in Equestria once again. There was no other option in her mind.
Sadly, there wasn’t another option she could even think of.
Trixie slumped a bit in her chair. She mindlessly rolled the glass of cider between her hooves as she pondered what to do with her life. As her eyes followed the waves of cider within the glass, her ears picked up a specific series of words that caught her attention.
“Isn’t that the washed up stage magician?” a voice asked from across the room.
Trixie bolted from her haze and looked around for the voice. She saw two taxi drivers at the far end of the bar talking over an article in a newspaper one of them had. Trixie swore she heard the second pony acknowledge the first’s question with her name. Trixie adjusted her cape as she got up and trotted over to the two stallions. The unicorn shoved her way in between them to see what they were looking at.
“What are you two discussing about me?” Trixie sharply demanded.
“Geez lady,” the first cabbie replied angrily, “Don’t get your tail in a knot.” He pointed at the article that he was discussing with the other stallion. The article was just a small insert under the gossip column, but it was unmistakably about Trixie—
Saddlestone posits the rumor that The Great and Powerful Trixie has shown up in the sleepy little town, intent on cleaning up the streets of vagrants. She has given the outlaws ten days to vacate the town before Trixie unleashes her true magical power not seen since her victorious defeat of an Ursa Major.
Trixie stood there, mouth agape, staring at the article. The second cabbie retracted the paper. “I take it by the stupid look on your face that you don’t know anything about this?” he asked brazenly.
“Not at all,” Trixie snorted. “I didn’t give anyone permission to use my name for their own exploits, especially in some audacious act of vigilantism!” Trixie took a step back from the two cabbies and adjusted her cape. “This is a blatant infringement of my trademark talents,” she added, “And I’m going to see to it that it ceases immediately.”
“Look at it this way Trixie,” the first cabbie stated wryly, “This fraud couldn’t do any more damage to your reputation even if you had given her lessons!” The other cabbie roared in laughter at the remark.
Trixie frowned as she reached into her purse and pulled out several coins. She hammered them down on the table between the two stallions with a glare. “Train station. Now.”
~ ~ ~
The train ride to Saddlestone was an arduous week in patience. The small town was a long ways out west, with little around it other than long rocky hills on a coarse, sandy desert. Trixie wondered how such a remote and desolate location was even bothered to be settled by anyone.
The passage took most of Trixie’s remaining funds to procure. She even had to pawn her typewriter passing through Appleloosa just to afford food. However, this afternoon the train finally pulled into the station and Trixie would get some answers from the imposter who was besmirching what little was left of her reputation.
“Welcome to Saddlestone,” one of the station attendants half-heartedly shouted. Trixie lifted her lone bag magically and proceeded to exit the train car. She noticed that few passengers got off at this station and that Trixie was the only one who did not appear to be either a ranch hand or a miner.
Trixie raised a hoof in reaction to the bright, late-day sunlight against her tired eyes.
“Welcome miss,” the station attendant greeted. “You sure are an exotic one to these here parts.”
“Whatever,” Trixie shrugged. “I’m looking for the editor of your local newspaper. Can you point me in the right direction?”
The attendant shook his head. “Sorry miss, we don’t have our own paper, let alone an editor,” he explained. “Though if news is what you need, you can get all the latest gossip at the Cactus Gulp saloon.” He pointed down the dusty road to the dull red building.
“Seriously?” Trixie asked with skepticism. “Your news is just gossip?”
“Well, the saloon owner orders a batch of the Dodge Junction Press twice a week,” the attendant point out. “I reckon he ought to have a few copies of last week’s edition.”
“Thanks anyway,” Trixie sighed as she walked away. She knew she hit a real backwater town here. It was small, dirty, and it didn’t have its own newspaper. Trixie glanced over at a large bulletin board where the train schedule was posted, along with an advertisement to vote for Lulu Gauge at the upcoming mayoral race in San Anponio, wherever that was. It seemed this town was so insignificant that it didn’t have its own mayor. It was governed by another town mines away.
Trixie left the board and walked toward the Cactus Gulp. As she walked down the dusty road, she felt that the residents stared at her, wary of her mere presence. Had her reputation been so bad that it reached even the most remote corners of Equestria? Trixie dared to steal a glance back at the townsfolk. She saw that many of them gave other arrivals the same stare. It appeared to Trixie that the residents here did not like any strangers.
Trixie wasn’t sure if this discovery made her situation any better.
Trixie’s thought process was interrupted by a small voice behind her. “Aren’t you The Great and Powerful Trixie?” it asked timidly.
Trixie turned and saw a white and brown Pinto colt at her heels who looked up at her in wonderment. She raised an eyebrow for a moment before answering. “I am, and who are you?”
“Name’s Iggy, Miss Great Trixie. Iggy Valentine,” the colt replied happily. “I’m a big fan of your adventures, like the time you defeated an-”
“Please, no,” Trixie interrupted, “I am no longer the Unicorn of those illusory tales.”
“I understand,” Iggy continued. “Heroes sometimes have to hide their identity, keep the bad guys guessing before you spring into action. That’s why you came out here, right?” The colt bounced in place as he spoke to her.
Trixie tried not to look visibly annoyed. “Look, kid, I’m not a hero. Not after the incident in Ponyville.”
Iggy's bouncing stopped abruptly, like a wind-up toy that met a wall. His expression slowly shifted from a joyful smile to solemn understanding as he nodded. “I know, Miss Great Trixie. I read something about an evil amulet and that it made you do evil things, but even great heroes sometimes lose a fight to the bad guys. It’s like Daring Do and the Temple of Moor, how they force-fed Do that evil syrup stuff and-”
“Kid, I have important things to do!” Trixie interjected with a snap. Her bag fell to the ground with a soft thud.
An awkward silence fell as the Unicorn bit her tongue. Trixie just yelled at a child, and for what? The little colt just wanted to shower Trixie with some attention. Is that not what she desired? The Unicorn slowly exhaled and spoke calmly. “I apologize, Iggy. I’m quite stressed and busy at the moment. Look, after I take care of my business here I’ll give you an autograph, alright?”
“Sure thing, Miss Great Trixie!” Iggy exclaimed as an excited expression immediately erased the tension. Iggy trotted off, presumably to fetch something for Trixie to sign later.
Trixie used to enjoy that attention, especially from children. Why did she not feel comfortable now with that same attention? Had Trixie forgotten the sweet taste of praise from an audience? The Unicorn could not pin the exact reason, but she felt that the words of 'Equestria's most magical pony' no longer carried any weight to her. That magician was a Unicorn who really was great and powerful… or at least, one who had everyone believing so.
~ ~ ~
The Cactus Gulp’s paint was bubbled and peeled like boiling water frozen in time. The long glass window panes had a permanent haze of dust sandblasted upon them while its lone sign hung unmoving from the front porch awning. There was no apparent sound of the patrons within its walls, which gave the saloon the appearance of a derelict building. It didn’t seem like much of an establishment, but then again Trixie was used to such places.
As Trixie approached the entrance she saw the torn remains of wanted posters hanging along the walls to either side, the paper faded and yellow from the heat of the sun. A few relatively new flyers covered some of the older remains. They were Want Ads – carpenters needed to build cattle fencing, miners to dig up iron ore, some pony was missing two goats, and so on. There was even another voting ad for San Anponio’s upcoming election.
The blue Unicorn adjusted her cape and stepped inside. She pushed the saloon doors aside with her hooves so as not to drop her magically levitated bag a second time. Trixie glanced around the saloon's interior. It was filled with miners who appeared to be on a lunch break. Although she never had seen these folks before, Trixie felt their eerie gaze upon her as if they knew who she was. She tried not to make eye contact and mentally told herself that they simply did not like strangers. A hard gaze had to be normal for a small town, right? It could be that newcomers to this town were treated with suspicion for a perfectly normal reason.
Great, but Trixie couldn't think of any reason that would satisfy her anxiety.
The Unicorn strode her way up to the chubby brown-colored bartender behind the counter. Trixie sat down at an empty stool at the bar and placed her bag gently on the ground beside her.
“What can I get for you, city slicker?” the bartender asked nonchalantly as he cleaned several drinking glasses.
“Information,” Trixie responded. “My name Is Trixie Lula-”
This was the point where several chairs all creaked against the wood flooring along with the distinct sound of a glass that shattered on the hard wood floor somewhere. The bartender nearly fumbled and dropped the glass he was shining. The sound of the stares over her shoulders rang loudly above the silence of the saloon. Trixie was unsure if she should continue speaking or bolt for the exit. The blue Unicorn swallowed and started over.
“My name is Trixie Lulamoon. I had read an article in the Manehatten Times that I was in this town threatening to throw out the local scoundrels. I’m looking for the pony who penned that article.”
The bartender set his glass down and leaned in close to Trixie. “Lady, what you’re looking for is trouble," he whispered with concern. "If I were you, I’d leave town right now before trouble comes a-knocking.”
Trixie pulled out a copy of the aforementioned newspaper article from last week and set it on the table. “Some pony from this town has submitted untrue rumors that I am portraying myself as some kind of vigilante hero,” Trixie angrily explained. “Yes, I am very much aware of the irony here, but I’ll not leave until I find and confront whoever is behind this blatant act of identity theft.”
The bartender sighed and ran a hoof through his graying brown mane. He turned to a door on the wall beside the counter and pushed it open a few inches. “Ellie, you got a visitor.”
A moment later the door fully opened and out stepped a young cream-coat Pegasus bearing leather goggles set above her bright, mint-green eyes. She was wearing a dirty gray coat and smelled distinctly of motor oil. The young pony brushed her long, light-green mane away from her face, and only then realized who the Unicorn was that she stood before.
With a squeak of joy, the Pegasus held out her fore-hooves to hug Trixie. “You’re here! You actually put on your best bib and tucker to answer my plea for help!”
Trixie slapped Ellie’s hooves away and grabbed the Pegasus by the collar with her magical pony-kinesis power. “I answer to no one!” Trixie scolded. “How dare you infringe upon the name of the Great and Powerful Trixie! I don’t know what ideas you have in that little hayseed brain of yours, but you will cease and desist immediately!”
“No frets!” squeaked the Pegasus gleefully, “You’re here now to help us!”
“Yes, I am here,” Trixie responded. “I am here to—wait, what? What do you mean help you?”
Their conversation was interrupted as the front doors swung wide open and slammed against the door frame. Three tall female creatures stepped into the saloon and looked around intently until their eyes made contact with Trixie’s. The miners all stood up and slowly backed away from the bipedal-walking creatures. The three figures had sharp claws and equally sharp teeth that contrasted with their fluffy ears and soft fur coats. Trixie knew unmistakably what they were.
Diamond Dogs.
The lead female was about the same height as the average stallion, with an eggshell coat. Her ears and tail ended in a puffy tuft of fur. The other two were about a head taller and shorter than the lead dog, with blue Great Dane and brown Pomeranian features respectively.
The lead dog elbowed the other two and pointed at Trixie. The blue Unicorn felt a lump settle in her throat as the Diamond Dogs sauntered up to her. She glanced at the bartender for help, but the stallion only shook his head and moved away like everyone else. The only one not moving away was Ellie. The Pegasus had a brave, but unsteady expression, trying to keep calm in the face of the dogs.
“Word on the street is that there’s a big shot pony in town,” the lead dog sneered. “I heard she’s come out here to bust our chickens.”
“Chops, Roxy,” the smallest dog corrected, “Its bust our chops.”
Roxy swatted the shorter dog on the nose. “You ain’t my school marm, Bella,” snapped the angry dog. Roxy adjusted her violet vest before she continued. “You aren’t from around these parts, Unicorn, so I wager you must be the Great and Powerful Trixie, aren’t you?”
“I am,” Trixie said with hesitation, “But I’m not here to fight anyone.”
“Well that ain’t what the papers said,” Roxy countered. “Plain as day it read that you were going to unleash your magic voodoo and run us out of town. So let’s see this power now, hmm?”
“Come on, Trixie, show them,” Ellie whispered to the blue Unicorn.
Trixie threw a dirty glance at Ellie. “There is a miscommunication here,” Trixie explained to the Diamond Dogs, “I came to this town with the business of rectifying the pony who wrote the article, nothing more. I shall finish my business here and then I will depart this backwater little town so that you may carry on with your occupational trade of choice.”
Roxy forcefully grabbed Trixie by the shoulders. “I don’t like strangers,” Roxy warned. “I especially don't like strangers who make snide comments about my status with fancy words.”
“Trade isn’t really a fancy word,” Trixie defended.
“Shut up!” Roxy shouted. “I reckon I outta rearrange your pretty little face! Of course, perhaps my fist could be persuaded otherwise. Say, fifty bits to keep your nose in its current shape?”
Trixie gulped hard. “I, uh, don’t have any money.”
“Then prepare to bah-leed!”
Trixie watched Roxy’s fist rear back. The blue Unicorn quickly seized her bag with pony-kinesis and threw it at Roxy’s legs. The luggage connected with the Diamond Dog and flipped Roxy over onto her face with a hard thud. With Roxy’s grip released, Trixie hooked a hoof around Ellie and yanked the Pegasus toward the door.
“Let’s go, trouble-maker!”
“Wait, there’s still two more!” Ellie stated obviously.
The two ducked under the advances of the remaining two Diamond Dogs and galloped straight for the exit. Trixie heard Roxy angrily bark orders to give chase over the shouts of the miners to keep on running. Yeah, like there was another option here?
In seconds the two ponies burst through the doors of the saloon and onto the dusty street. A wagon swerved to avoid hitting the two and the stallions who pulled that cart hurled a few choice words to move out of the way. Trixie intended to keep moving and galloped over to the far end of the street with Ellie in tow. The blue Unicorn seized the side-handle of a passing black stagecoach and pulled Ellie up onto the moving vehicle. Trixie attempted to open the coach door, but it was locked from within.
“Keep out you rogues!” shouted a middle-aged stallion passenger.
Trixie thought quickly, an ability that she had noted was quite effective when danger was at her heels. She decided elevation would be beneficial and climbed up to the roof of the coach in just three steps. Ellie was right behind, slipping on the rough-riding cart. The two girls looked behind them and saw the three Diamond Dogs already in the street. They ran on all fours to keep up and Trixie cursed their damned efficiency at it.
“How strong are you?” Trixie asked the Pegasus.
“What?” responded a nervous Ellie.
“Fly you little hayseed!” Trixie commanded. She yanked off Ellie’s collar buttons and pulled the coat off of the Pegasus. The Unicorn threw the coat and caution to the wind, held onto Ellie with a tight grip, and together they leaped off the stage coach. Ellie screamed in horror as they bolted into the air above the passing townsfolk.
Trixie saw Ellie instinctively throw open her right wing, then her… nothing else.
The two ponies crashed into an open cart of flour sacks and toppled over the pile onto the dirty unpaved street. Ellie was curled up in pain while Trixie wobbled to stand up with a body that protested fiercely from being thrown so hard. She was quickly yanked off the ground by the tallest Diamond Dog.
Trixie was held up by her cape collar. The huge dog’s fist connected with the blue Unicorn's stomach as hammer would against a potato. Trixie let out a curdled coughing fit as all the air escaped violently from her lungs. A second blow wound up, but Roxy intervened before it could connect.
“Hold yer puppies, Ginger!” Roxy barked at the larger dog. She snatched Trixie away by the fore-leg.
Bella scrunched her face. “It goes hold your horses, Roxy. You know, like what you’re doin-”
“What did I say about correcting me?” Roxy scolded. With a growl Roxy turned her attention to the blue Unicorn. “This little pony got personal and I intend to give her a whooping!”
“Roxy,” said a firm male voice from behind the group. Onlookers parted and revealed a stallion who wore a steel badge. “I don’t know what that pretty lass did to work up your ire, but I can’t abide by you curb-stomping her on my street.” The young stallion who stood before them had a reddish-tan coat with a brown mane tucked neatly under a frayed ten-gallon hat.
Roxy released Trixie, letting the Unicorn crumple to the ground with a labored grunt. The Diamond dog turned her attention to the stallion. “Deputy Valiant!” Roxy greeted with a cheerful, but completely false air about her, “Well this is a quaint surprise to see you here. How’s the sheriff?”
“Same as the day we buried him Roxy,” Valiant said flatly. “Now go about your own business. This lass isn’t worth the trouble.”
Roxy sauntered up to the deputy. She leaned in to his face and barred all her teeth with a wicked grin. “I reckon she isn’t,” Roxy said wryly. “Perhaps you reckon there's someone here more suited to my… caliber?” She stared at the deputy for a few seconds with an unbroken eye contact.
Roxy suddenly snapped her teeth and caused Valiant to flinch and recoil back. Roxy roared in laughter as she waved to her two friends. “Come on gals, we’ll settle this little romp some other time.”
Ginger snatched Trixie’s hat from the Unicorn’s head and walked off with it. The hat appeared off-kilter on Ginger due to it being a size too small for the dog’s large head. Trixie said nothing. She only narrowed her eyes in tearful anger.
Deputy Valiant took in a deep breath as he watched the Diamond dogs leave town. A few townsfolk who witnessed the scene also went back to their routine to avoid the deputy’s gaze. Valiant helped Trixie and Ellie up off the ground.
“Thanks for the save,” said Ellie, dusting off her face.
“Ellie, you outta know better than to tangle with Diamond Dogs,” Valiant scolded. “Why don’t you go on home? I’m sure your ma is worried about you.” The stallion turned to the Unicorn. “Will you be alright, Miss?”
“I think so,” Trixie weakly answered. “Just winded is all.”
“I’m Deputy Valiant,” the stallion introduced. “If I were you, Miss, I wouldn’t cross with Roxy and them Diamond Dogs. They aren’t afraid of no pony around these parts, local or stranger.”
Trixie nodded to the now obvious fact, but then she remembered something important that escaped her earlier due to all the commotion caused by the dogs. “Pony feathers! My bag!”
The deputy raised a hoof. “Don’t bother Miss,” he began, “Urchins likely already ran off with it, so there’s no sense going back to look.”
Trixie frowned. “Seriously? I certainly hope you intend on retrieving my effects!” she exclaimed. “Otherwise I’ll put in a thorough complaint with your department!”
Valiant shrugged. “Technically ma’am, I am the department. About the only law-pony left around these parts who hasn’t been run out of town or…” Valiant glanced at a nearby shovel and did not finish his statement. He instead changed the subject. “So what did you do to work up those Diamond Dogs? Granted they don’t need much provocation, but I am mighty curious to know why Roxy seemed to have a personal vendetta out for you.”
Trixie glanced at Ellie before answering. “A certain Pegasus wrote a blatant lie that I’d be coming here to take on all comers and those three mutts took it seriously.”
Valiant blinked in surprise. “For the love of Luna’s left hoof! Ellie, did you go around spreading that wild tale of the vigilante magician coming into town?” Valiant asked. He saw the Pegasus look away sheepishly. Valiant let out a sigh. “Well then, I reckon that this makes you The Great and Powerful Trixie everyone’s been talking about?”
“Yes, the one and only,” Trixie confirmed, “But the trouble is getting folks to shut up after that.”
“Valiant, Trixie could help us fight the Diamond Dogs!” Ellie stated with new-found hope.
“No,” Valiant said sternly to the Pegasus, “No way and no how. Ellie, we’re going to have a talk later about your wild ideas.” Valiant turned to the blue Unicorn. “Well Miss Trixie, I apologize about this mess. If you’ll give me a day or two, I’ll see about acquiring you a train ticket back home. Until then, you best keep out of Roxy’s sight if you know what’s good for you.”
Trixie glanced over at the station before speaking, “Well I will certainly comply with that advice, but I don’t know where I’ll be sleeping tonight since my bag had my coin purse.”
“You could crash at my place,” Ellie interrupted, “We have an extra room and I’m sure ma won’t mind.”
“Haven’t you done enough for me?” Trixie asked angrily.
Valiant sighed. “Well it might not be a bad idea Miss, unless you’d like to panhandle for change. I’d wager Ellie’s place is a safer place than staying at the inn anyway. Those Diamond Dogs tend to frequent the inn for crash space at night when they’re not drinking and causing trouble for the locals.”
Trixie frowned at Valiant, but conceded to her fate. “Fine, but come tomorrow, I am leaving this imprudent little town.” Trixie dusted herself off and took note of several large tears in her cape. She let out a snort as she walked over to Ellie. “Lead the way, hayseed.”
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Oh, Trixie. I could see at least three ways to write yourself out of that situation. One of them would have even emphasized your powers of ponykinesis, the other two being the appearance of an unexpected ally and dumb luck, respectively.
Yow! Now that is desperation, as it means she's (at least temporarily) giving up on writing ...
Oh, of course -- their "cattle" are sapient! Barbed wire would both be cruel (to the calves or stampeding cattle) and wouldn't work against calm cattle, who would just protect themselves from it with a thick cloth or something and walk right over.
(*bell dings*) Yay!
Trixie just lost her luggage. A necessary sacrifice, but sad given how poor she is at the moment.
I like the fact that you write Trixie as smart.
Yeah. Having read the Outlaw Mares blog, I was sort of expecting this when Trixie expected to escape on Ellie's wings. I figured Ellie hadn't built the mechanical one yet.
Roxy seems to be channeling Biff from the Back to the Future trilogy. Appropriate, because Biff's ancestor was the villain in the third movie, in a Wild West setting.
Question
Did you mean "impudent"?
I have her use it more socially in the two stories I wrote about Pony-Trixie, but they take place about three years before this one on my chronology, and she's younger and more innocent in them. You're setting this post-Amulet, and I figure that falling under the power of the Amulet has to have been one of the most horrible experiences of her life. The third person "Adjective and Adjective Trixie" is part of her panache, and when she's feeling generally depressed she doesn't care enough to make the effort.
In Boast Busters, she does drop the speech and persona when the Ursa Minor arrives.