Ponemurdered

by The Gentlecolt

The Chapter Numbered 4: Vinyl Dies At The End [Alexstrazsa]

Vinyl never expected her extended karate and jiu jitsu training to ever have a practical use. It had just been something she did on the side, to keep her occupied when she wasn’t DJing. Sure, she advanced quicker than most of her classmates. Sure, she received an honorary black belt in the minimum amount of time possible. And sure, she might have won a tournament or two, but all in all, it was just a hobby.

A hobby that became frighteningly practical when a roaring chainsaw and the unicorn attached to it tore out from a dark alley and nearly took the DJs head off. Using her honed sense of agility and perception, Vinyl sprung backwards just as the whirling blades passed her head. As she landed and slid across the ground, she noticed one of her carefully crafted mane spikes had been sliced through. They were going to pay for that.

Stumbling out of the opposing alleyway and wielding the loud, bladed weapon was none other than Twilight Sparkle. Her eyes were dull and lifeless, and the expression she wore was neutral at best.

“So, what’s your reasoning for wanting to do me in,” Vinyl spat, easing her body into a more combat ready pose. “If it’s about that trashy music, I only play it because they want me to.”

The answer was simple. “Ponemurdered.”

Before Vinyl had time to retort, the machine was rocketing at her again. Jumping to her left, she touched hooves to the wall and kicked off of it, flipping over the chainsaw as it flew past her. Her tail twisted into a corkscrew as she spun, untangling only when she connected with opposite wall and jumped off that. She intended to escape to the rooftops, but was painfully interrupted by a magic blast to her side.

“Playing that game, huh?!” Vinyl yelled, landing on her hooves. “Well, spinning records ain’t the only thing I can do.” She galloped forward and her horn began to glow, brightening with each passing second. About twenty yards away from Twilight, she jumped and applied her magic, which sent her blasting through the air at supersonic speeds. The shockwave alone shattered nearby windows, yet Twilight remained unphased. In what was an impossibly fast motion, Twilight twirled out the way of Vinyl’s full-body spear and pressed against the wall.

Vinyl’s hooves dug into the pavement with enough friction to light up the ground with sparks, and as she came to a halt, a burning trail was left in her wake. “Hmph,” she snorted, turning back to Twilight. The opposing unicorn took no pause, as she was running full speed at Vinyl, chainsaw in tow. Partway her horn flashed, and a ghostly chainsaw clone faded out of the original, but was just as usable as its mechanical brother.

“Great,” Vinyl deadpanned, lowering her head. If there was one thing she needed, it was definitely another chainsaw in her life. Twilight took full advantage of her expanded arsenal as she threw the first machine towards Vinyl, forcing the white unicorn to jump out the way. That was when she brought down the other chainsaw, which had been swung in an arc over her head.

Fortunately for Vinyl, her martial arts sixth sense kicked in and she barely avoided the blade. “Gotcha now!” she yelled, abusing Twilight’s weaponless state and giving her a faceful of hoof. The power of the strike literally shattered her magical shield and continued on to hurl her a clear thirty feet away. Vinyl breathed heavily as fragments of magic fell around her like snow, dissipating before they touched the ground.

Not wanting to waste the opportunity, she ran forward and leapt into the air, raising a hoof to deliver another strike. With a mighty roar, her hoof slammed down with such might that even Thor would be proud. In fact, she could’ve sworn she saw a flash of lightning as she made contact. Alas, underneath her was not the splattered remains of a unicorn that she had expected, but merely sundered earth.

Vinyl looked over and saw Twilight, safe and sound, with her horn glowing. “Son of a-” Vinyl groaned before diving to the ground. Above her, a massive magic chainsaw blade swept over, cleaving clear through the houses they were next to. Debris and dust flooded the area, obscuring the vision of both.

“Just let it happen, Vinyl,” Twilight hissed, her words cutting through the air almost as well as the chainsaw. “It’ll just be one slice, I promise. Won’t hurt at all.”

“Like hell it will,” Vinyl snapped back, eyes scanning through the dust. She stayed light on her hooves, expecting any second for the gnashing teeth of a mechanical monstrosity to come roaring after her. “Come on. I know you’re the-”

She was interrupted by a legsweep that took her by surprise, tripping her and sending her to the ground. Vinyl shook her head and looked up, only to have her eyes widen in fear at the sight before her. In a literal whirlwind, the surrounding dust was blown away to reveal Twilight standing within an aura of chainsaws. Both the original and three magic duplicates orbited around the unicorn, all revving out of sync with one another in an unholy cacophony of bladed death.

Vinyl wiped her mouth and stood up, facing the menace. As they stared each other down, a drop of water splashed against Vinyl’s snout, followed by another, and another. She couldn’t help but smile as thunder rumbled overhead and the rain turned to a downpour.

“I wish I didn’t have to do this,” Twilight said, scowling at the DJ. “But there’s no other way. It’s the only way to save Equestria.”

Vinyl spat on the ground. “I’m sure.” She then lowered her head, ready to move at a moment’s notice. “Well I ain’t going down that easy.” It was then she felt a brush against her ear and heard a whisper.

“Unfortunately, you are.”

Splorch.

It wasn’t as painful as she expected. Despite the fact that she could see the bloodied edge of the chainsaw sticking out of her, she felt nothing. Well, except maybe disappointment. How she managed to be caught off guard by a magic clone, she would never understand.

Lifting a hoof to her mouth, Vinyl wiped the blood away while vacantly watching the clone dissipate into shards. With a bit of effort, the chainsaw blade was pulled out of her, yet she remained still.

Twilight stepped in front of the dying unicorn, the dripping murder device hovering at her side. “Again, I’m sorry.”

Vinyl shifted her half lidded eyes from her hoof to Twilight, then promptly punched the opposing unicorn in the face. With her last few breaths, she muttered “Go to hell," then collapsed into a puddle of rainwater and blood.

Author's Note:

Arcommentary: Alex totally used an apostrophe in a possessive "its" in here. I could have cleaned it up, but no. This is better. Teehee.

Alexstrazsommentary: So after reading Zay-El's chapter, I realized why I had Twilight attack Vinyl. Because Vinyl had half the chapter about her! Truly, somewhere in my brain I rationalized Twilight going after her, and not her close friends like Zay-El mentioned in the first half of his chapter.

GUESS I KINDA STEERED THAT IN THE WRONG DIRECTION, EH?

But overall I'm happy with it. It was a great chance for me to write a totally justified action scene with magic chainsaws and martial arts and crazy stuff like that. My only regret is that I didn't make it last longer. Also shut up Arc don't point out my grammar problems. >:[

Comments

[Pearple Prose]

That was the most epic chainsaw ninja fight I have ever read.

[Magical Trevor]

GAH! SPOILER ALERT! ; ;

[joebob50]

Ya dun goof'd who she was supposed to keel.

[JustAnotherTimeLord]

I am oddly reminded of Naruto with that last scene.... Except Naruto doesn't have PONIES! AND CHAINSAWS! AND PONIES WITH CHAINSAWS! THAT KILL OTHER PONIES!

WITH CHAINSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWS!

[AppleTank]

Ah. So the snowball begins to catch on fire.

[Spirit Shift]

2850186
gotta agree with you there XD
also
2850486
i dont know where you got that saying from but im using it from now on hope ya dont mind

[Skeeter The Lurker]

So, Vinyl dies for Twilight's testing of the chainsaw?

Her bad luck. I wonder what the Music Zombies are doing?

GET TO DA NEXT CHAPPTA!

~Skeeter The Lurker

[BronyWriter]

Vinyl dies at the end.

A fan of a certain book by David Wong of Cracked.com perhaps?

[Royal Brony]

2850186 But have you seen this one?

[Lordmiak]

This needs art. LOTS OF ART !

[Mill]

Let the derailment... BEGIN!

[Paddle Steamer]

Despite the fact that she could she the bloodied edge of the chainsaw sticking out of her, she felt nothing.

I'm not Arc, so I get to say it! Fix the "she" with "see" ROAR!

I suddenly don't think Octavia being in the character tags is going to end well...

Fuck it; I'm a knight of the sky!

flugzeuginfo.net/acimages/nieuport17scout_simonthomas.jpg

[sillyfillybowilly]

Wait what? Why the hell did she kill vinyl?

[awdawfddsgse]

With her last few breaths, she muttered “Go to hell," then collapsed into a puddle of rainwater and blood.

Ya dun' fucked it up!

[Sylpheed Dashstep]

2851787
It is official, epic chainsaw fight is epic.
~Sylpheed

[Kraken Hatchling]

The confusion is setting in :D
Soon all direction will be lost.

[Eclipsed]

Why Vinyl?

[Silently Ticking]

2850587
You forgot that the music zombies will not be in the next chapter because they were not mentioned in this one.

[An Unimpressive]

In a literal whirlwind, the surrounding dust was blown away to reveal Twilight standing within an aura of chainsaws. Both the original and three magic duplicates orbited around the unicorn, all revving out of sync with one another in an unholy cacophony of bladed death.

Fucking metal.

[p-a-t-a-r]

Well, it seems my suspicions were correct. Hopefully the next author can pull this thing back together, or I am declaring this tale officially derailed. Awesome fight, though.