• Member Since 26th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen March 31st

Draconiuos


E

A short narrative about a unicorn earning his cutie mark, and the pain he went through to earn it. This is an alternate story on how my OC earned his cutie mark. It has some violence and it is described in vague detail. I don't think it warrants a gore tag, but felt I should warn the reader. I did this as speed writing trying to get myself back into writing. All criticism is welcome and I know there might be a few mistake throughout.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 5 )

It looks like a big wall of text to me...

Well, you write good, though I found some parts of the story difficult to understand, I think the story was well done. I would use more separation between paragraphs, use a bit more commas, and show where exactly he got the cutie mark... I don't know where that happened.

Anyway, good luck :D

Comment posted by Astiam300 deleted Feb 5th, 2013

2079665
Yeah, but since it was done as a speed writing I kind of just wall of text those. I am thinking I am going to clean it up and add to it.

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