• Published 5th Feb 2013
  • 2,441 Views, 97 Comments

The Midlife Crisis of an Extra-planar Being - The DM



Zircom is bored with life. After hearing hundreds of bard's tales, all he wants to do now is find an adventure of his own. Where his adventure will occur is a mystery. Zircom doesn't know, nor does he really care.

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An Adventure in Lucid Dreams

So there I was, laying unconscious in the dirt. The last thing I can clearly recall was a yellow pegasus, Fluttershy I think was her name, push my lower jaw back into it's socket. Then there was unimaginable pain, some flashing light, and then nothing. I'm not sure how long I was out, but it felt like it could have been a few hours. In that time, I began to dream. My dream brought me back to the bar in Waterdeep that I so frequently visited after leaving the chapel each night. There was Jorven, enjoying his dinner, Gimble was playing a tale about three witches, Malen was in a drinking contest with his latest challenger, Rye was sitting in the corner as usual, and Tyke was telling a group of people about the wonders of Ogresloshing. I don't even know what the fuck Ogresloshing is...

Anyway, it was all seeming so normal and familiar. It was then that I noticed I was also in my human form, this was a lucid dream. Not wanting to miss out on a lucid dream, I began to check my surroundings. Every detail of the bar and it's occupants was recreated in perfect detail. The only thing that suggested this was a dream was the lack of smell or the feeling of temperature. My eyes began scanning the room for any imperfection in the setting. I stood there slowly spinning like an idiot in the middle of the room, no one paying me any attention. Finally I spotted something that didn't belong; a pony. This one was a bit larger than the others I had already met, not to mention she also had both wings and a horn. She had a dark indigo coat and ethereal mane that looked like the night sky. I found her to be oddly beautiful, if I am to be perfectly honest. Her turquoise eyes regarding me with interest and curiosity. Something compelled me to approach her. I slowly began walking toward the table she was seated at before pulling up a chair and sitting across from her.

"I don't ever remember seeing you in this bar back home." I stated calmly, not wanting to offend this newcomer to my mind.

"Oh this? This setting seemed most familiar to you, almost like a second home." Her voice was calm, yet commanded respect and had a sense of authority.

"Okay then... but why? Who are you, and why are you in my dream?"

"You can call me Luna. As for the why, I wanted to see just who came into our world. You caused quite an interesting magical shock when you tore a gap between our worlds, so I was curious to see who did it." The whole time she was either inspecting me or the surrounding bar and its inhabitants.

"Such detail in a dream, and such odd creatures. Who and what are all these creatures?" Her gaze wandering the room, trying to absorb every detail.

"Well, that one there is Jorven. He's a green half-dragon, half-human." She looked at me with a puzzled look. I sighed. "The form I am in is what a normal human looks like." She seemed to suddenly understand, so I continued around the room. "That's Malen the dwarf. Over there in that corner is Rye, another human." She stopped me at that point.

"Why is she just sitting there all alone?"

"Ah, she isn't the most social of person. The only reason she is here is because of Malen, he's her best friend." Luna nodded at this. "On stage is Gimble, a gnome bard. He's a type of musician really, always telling stories through song. Then we have Tyke, the resident half-ogre." Her eyes went wide once she really saw Tyke.

"He's massive! And... what's Ogresloshing?"

I shrugged. "Even after all this time I still don't know. The best I can come up with is that it is some sort of Ogre drinking festival."

"This is all so incredible! The only other dreams I have seen with such detail were the ones of my sister." She then focused all her attention back to me. "You said that your current form was a human, right? So then what are you normally?"

I sighed, being interrogated in my own mind was never something I imagined I would have to go through. "I'm normally a fairly large silver dragon, this form just makes it easier to live in the city."

Luna sat there beaming with intrigue, her eyes betraying the serious look on her face. "And just where is 'this city'?"

I chuckled. "This is the city of Waterdeep in Faerun. Don't bother looking for it on any of your maps, you won't find it."

She mulls it over for a moment before speaking up. "I see... so why did you come to Equestria?"

I rolled my eyes. "Oh how I could use a drink." As if on command, the bartender walked over to our table and set down two mugs of dwarven stout ale. "Riiiiight. My dream, my rules." Luna seemed to look at her drink with interest before taking a few investigatory sniffs. "What is this? Some kind of drink?"

I nodded. "Dwarven stout ale. A personal favorite of mine." Without thinking I picked up the mug and took a swig. To my amazement I could actually taste it. I may have just found a way to drink forever without getting drunk or puking. Anyway, following my example, Luna grasped her mug in magic before levitating it up to her mouth and taking a small sip. He eyes lit up after the first sip, which was followed by a much longer sip. She certainly seemed to be enjoying it. This simple act raised a number of questions for me.

"Now, not to get off topic here... but how is it that you could possibly taste this? I mean, I can because I've had it before and I clearly remember it."

She chuckled softly before setting her drink down. "It's simple really, I can access that part of your memory and re-create the taste for myself. It is the same way I created this setting. I pulled a familiar location, filled it with familiar things, and added some other elements that I thought might make this little meeting go over smoothly."

Wow, she was good. "So you recreated this whole bar and all the people in it from my memories?"

She nodded. "It was surprisingly easy. Your mind is very well organized, more than almost any pony I know."

I couldn't help but feel a bit of an ego boost. "I'll take that as a wonderful compliment. Now, back to the matter at hand... er hoof... whatever..." I took a moment to recompile my thoughts. "You want to know how and why I am here, correct?"

She nodded.

"Alright, well here we go. I got bored one day and decided to go travel the planes and find some random new world. A few magical spells later and BOOM! Equestria." I took a long drink from my mug and looked at Luna. She was not satisfied by my meager explanation. "Alright, alright fine. You really want the long version of the story, fine." I looked at my drink and noticed that it was still full.

"A drink that never gets you drunk, never makes you puke, and never gets empty?! I love my mind!"

I spent the next twenty minutes explaining in extravagant detail about the past few weeks of my life, ending with the past hour and getting K.O'd by a rainbow maned pegasus. Luna just stared at me with a slight grin.

"You wouldn't happen to know my assailant, would you?"

She laughs. "As a matter of fact I do. Rainbow Dash right?"

I nodded.

"Yes, she is a friend of my sister's student, Twilight Sparkle. She is also one of the Elements of Harmony, loyalty if I remember correctly."

"The elements of what now?"

She looked at me before shaking her head. "Never mind. I'll tell you more later."

I shrugged, "Alright, fine by me. Now you said something about having a sister?"

Luna's ears quickly folded against her head and her face sank to a look of sadness. I had stumbled onto something painful. "Her name is Celestia, she's the princess of Equestria. The fearless leader of this nation and responsible for raising the sun each day and lowering it each night." the pain in her voice was unmistakable.

"If she's the princess of Equestria, wouldn't that also put you on the same level? Or is it just a monarchy with your sister in charge?" she shook her head, ears still pinned down.

"No, no. Equestria is a constitutional diarchy... or at least that's what everypony thinks." her head was almost pointing at the ground by now.

"Hey now, I didn't mean to upset you... look, if you don't want to talk about that it's fine." she shook her head again.

"It's okay. Just some... painful memories. That's all." I wasn't buying it, but was unwilling to press further.

"Alright. So if Equestria is a diarchy, wouldn't that make you Prince-" she cut me off with a wave of her hoof.

"Please, you need not refer to me with a title. It's nice to be able to talk to somepony without them worrying about my status as a princess, hence why I neglected to mention it earlier." her tone was somber and pained. Her eyes showing a sadness that I was all to familiar with. They say that the worst wounds are the ones we can't see; the wounds of the mind and soul.

I slowly pushed her mug toward her while trying to hold a comforting smile. She looked up and grabbed the drink in her magical aura. She began chugging her endless mug, eyes shut with small tears being forced out of the corners. After a good few seconds she finally stopped and set her mug down with a loud thunk, followed by a fabulously loud burp. I laughed while she quickly put a hoof over her mouth in embarrassment and blushed quite red.

"Not bad, you could probably impress Malen with a belch like that." I motioned to the red haired dwarf at the bar, all while still laughing. Even she began laughing and giggling.

"You have no idea how relieving it is to be able to do something like that without having the entire room glaring at you with a scowl." she was still giggling slightly.

"I can imagine. Being under constant scrutiny by everyone around you makes it harder to... let loose."

She sighed and relaxed in her chair, her expression returning to a happy smile. "I must say I am quite relieved."

I raised an eyebrow. "Oh? How so?"

"I thought that you would turn out to be some horrible creature from beyond our world, or some other evil being who was Tartarus bent on our destruction. But instead I find you; not a monster... but a friend."

I was surprised by this. She considered me a friend after maybe an hour. No one back home was this trusting, or this nice. I guess it really stood testament to just how different our worlds really were.

"Well Zircom, it has been very nice meeting you. I would encourage you to come by Canterlot Castle soon. I would very much like to meet the real you."

I laughed slightly. "I'm sure Twilight and her friends can help me with that. Well Luna, it has been a lovely dream, but I really should stop being unconscious in front of Applejack's barn. I don't want her to think I died."

Luna seemed amused by this. "Well, if Twilight and her friends are there I'm sure you'll be just fine." With that said and done, Luna took one last swig of ale before getting up and walking out the door. As soon as she exited, I could feel the dream begin to crumble. Details became clouded and the whole place seemed to be fading to black.

I knew my dream world was coming to an end, so I braced myself for the return to reality. Instead of the blinding light of the sun, I was greeted by the black void of night. My eyes took a moment to register the time of day. The moon was overhead and the stars were all out. It was strangely beautiful, more so than back home. I looked around without moving my head, seeing who might still be near. I could hear muffled voices from somewhere behind me. To my side were two ponies, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash. Fluttershy looked genuinely worried. While Rainbow Dash just looked annoyed.

"Gahhh... why can't I just go home? I'm bored to tears out here!"

"Because you need to apologize to Zircom when he wakes up." Fluttershy sounded more... assertive, than the first time I heard her talk.

"Yeah... but this is soooo boring. Can't you just wake him up so I can go already? I have weather patrol tomorrow." Dash was already hovering about two feet off the ground, ready to bolt as soon as possible. Fluttershy, however, was not having any of it,

"Rainbow Dash!" She put her face right up against Dash's, her eyes locking in an intense glare. "You will be patient and you will wait for Zircom to wake up so you can apologize for hurting him in the first place!" Dash gulped loudly. "Am I clear!?" Rainbow nodded her head repeatedly. "Good." Fluttershy sat back down in the grass next to me, Dash following only moments later, sitting in absolute silence.

Deciding it was time to announce my renewed state, I silently brought my face behind Rainbow Dash. A slight smirk spread across my face.

"I'll hear that apology now." That was all it took. Dash shot straight up with a scream and collided with a tree branch before falling back to earth and face planting on the ground. I laughed, Fluttershy covered her mouth with a hoof in surprise.


"What the buck was that for!?"

"Rainbow Dash! Language!"

Fluttershy was glaring at Rainbow, I was wearing a slight grin.

"But he-" Fluttershy intensified her stare and silenced Rainbow before pointing a hoof at me.

Rainbow looked at Fluttershy and then to me. "Apologize to him Rainbow."

She sighed in defeat. "Fine... I'm sorry I kicked you and dislocated your jaw... There, happy?"

I nodded. "I get the feeling that's the best I'm gonna get. Apology accepted. Just don't do it again."

She looked at Fluttershy, then back to me. Satisfied with the apology, Fluttershy nodded. With that taken care of, Rainbow Dash shot away toward town.

"I'm so sorry about her behavior. She can get oh so very protective... she really didn't mean to hurt you." Fluttershy's voice was back to the timid and quite state of earlier.

"Eh, at least my jaw isn't broken.Thank you, by the way, for fixing it." She blushed slightly and looked away with a smile.

"Oh, it was no trouble really. I couldn't just leave somepony like that."

"Well, thank you again Fluttershy."

She got up and began to walk home. It was then that I also heard the sound of a door opening. I glanced over my shoulder to see Twilight, Applejack, and Big Mac all walk out of the farm house.

Twilight was the first to notice my change in state. "Ah, Zircom, I'm glad you're awake. Where's Rainbow Dash?"

"She apologized to the best her ego would allow then sped off toward what I can only assume is her home."

"Oh, well as long as she did apologize for hurting you. I also want to apologize, if I hadn't cast that spell on you all of this could have been avoided." Her ears pinned back and she wore a sheepish grin.

"It's quite alright Twilight. You didn't do it out of malice. A simple misunderstanding is all."

She sighed, a weight seemed to be lifted from her chest. "Thank's Zircom. Now, I need to go write a letter to the Princess, I bet she will be interested to hear about today." She began to trot toward the town.

"Uh Twilight...?" She stopped and turned to face me,

"Yes Zircom?"

"Could you...uh... have her say 'Hi' to Luna for me?"

Twilight looked shocked that I knew that name. "How... how do you know her?"

Fearing I may have just done something incredibly stupid I decided to explain just enough to satisfy her. "She came to me in a dream. I know it sound really cliche, but she did. We had a lovely conversation."

Twilight seemed to accept this answer as though it was normal. "Oh, okay then. I'll be sure to add that in the letter. Goodnight Zircom." she turned and trotted off toward town.

Applejack walked up next to my head. "So, Princess Luna visited you in yer dream?" I nodded. "Not sure how Ah feel about anypony messin' with mah dreams. Ah like 'em just the way they are." She let out a deep sigh and looked over at me. "Well, Ah'm goin ta bed. G'night Zir."

"Goodnight AJ." I let out a wide yawn. "I'll see you in the morning."

With that said and done I closed my eyes once more.

Author's Note:

Ah ha ha! I'm having fun and you can't stop me!

Once again we draw another chapter to a close.

Also, next week I will be going on a ski trip vacation. I will do my utmost to bring you another chapter during that time.

Thoughts, comments, concerns, haiku poetry? So far I've only gotten one poem... I'm serious, haiku's are fun to read.

Anyway, the answer to last week's question: Silver, Gold, and Bronze dragons are the only true dragons with a natural Alternate Form ability. Sadly there are no chromatic dragons that can shape shift naturally. This ability is only present in the metallic breeds.

Onward!