The Twilight Child

by Detectivefish

Seasonal Entertainment

The snowballs filled the air, sometimes frequently passing through large snowflakes on the way. Large groups of ponies huddled together, forming small teams for some vague sense of protection. Midday ducked behind a hastily built snow barrier, bewildered at how everypony had snowballs ready to go at a moment's notice. Had they been making them during the song or something? She heard a loud cackle as Rainbow Dash used a cloudy perch to avoid being pelted, and slight squeals from Rarity, who was apparently being bombarded. Then everypony heard words that sent a chill down already chilled spines.

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS SNOWBALL THROWING CHAMPIONS!!! YAY!"

There were the sounds of yelps and cries as the CMC threw snowballs in all directions, not really caring who or what they struck. Midday cast an invisibility spell on herself and quickly snuck through the maelstrom of slightly spherical weapons of mass irritation. She quickly made her way to where the trio were pelting everypony in sight.
"Hey, cheaters" she said, dropping the spell. There was a slight pause from the fillies as they realised somepony had snuck up on them.

"I think I owe you a snowball or two" She smiled deviously, levitated several dozen snowballs above her head.
"... Parley?" Sweetie Belle squeaked.

*****

Five minutes of intense discussion on whether parlay applied to little fillies with no regard for anypony else on the field of 'battle', and agreement was made that perhaps the Cutie Mark Crusaders needed a strategy, since they had managed to antagonise everypony else in the conflict, and even worse, not managed to get their Cutie Marks.
"Probably just as well" Scootaloo sighed, "What good's a Cutie Mark for something you can only do for a few week a year?"

"Worth a shot" Apple Bloom sighed. Then Midday saw something. Strutting across the way, just outside the fight was a pink filly wrapped up in what looked like an incredibly expensive fluffy coat, with what on any other being (even horrific shambling fragments of broken dreams from outside the purile reach of what lesser beings called reality) would have been called an adorable matching fluffy hat, and she had fluffy boots as well. All of which were nausiatingly pink. Following alongside was a dull grey filly wearing much less fluffy clothing that looked much less expensive, and was probably far more practical, even though she did seem to keep slipping every few moments.
"Hey, girls. Look." She pointed. Three heads turned to look. Scootaloo took aim.

"Fifteen points if you get DT's hat" the pegasus smirked.
Midday coughed reproachfully. "Scootaloo, that's utterly irresponsible behaviour for a girl your age. I am disappointed in you."

Midday lifted a snowball, and took aim. "Besides, I'm older, so I get to go first." Any hat on Diamond Tiara's head needed to be put out of its misery. It was clearly the right thing to do.

*****

Twilight frowned. There was supposed to be order to the snow, to winter. It was part of the cosmic schedule, and everypony was content to hurl it at each other.
Well, almost everypony. Fluttershy had vanished. Come to think of it, she wasn't sure she'd ever seen Fluttershy last winter. She contemplated that. What would Fluttershy do for the next few weeks, if all her animal friends were hibernating? And what if she was snowed in? Fluttershy could barely buy food from the marketplace when she was having a good day. Where did she get the bits to buy enough food to last through winter? Was she getting them from the nearby farms?

Twilight ignored those thoughts. Fluttershy was more than capable of looking after herself.
She stared at the checklist in front of her again.

"Okay, snow." She looked around.
"Big check."

"Hooves?" Check.
Last winter she hadn't done anything like this. She'd been studying, but since then she'd grown as a mare, as a pony. She was going to have fun, studying be put aside for later! She grinned widely.
"Okay, let's build a snowpony" she announced to nopony in particular.

*****

Rarity fumed, marching through the snow back to her nice, warm, cosy house, where there would be tea and woolly blankets and a comfy sofa just waiting for her, ignoring the increasingly wet feeling in her boots and her jacket.
"Barbaric, childish overgrown irresponsible can't-behave-for-five-mintes" she growled under her breath.

She turned to the distant crowd of ponies playing in the snow, none of whom looked remotely guilty about what they done to her clothing.
"YOU ARE LUNATICS, ALL OF YOU! EVERY SINGLE ONE OF Y-" She stopped as a ball smashed into her head, exploding in a shower of rapidly melting bits of water.

"Chill out" Rainbow Dash laughed from her cloud. Rarity gave Rainbow Dash a glare that should have by all rights vaporised the cloud there and then. Instead of responding she turned and marched into her boutique, slamming and locking the door behind her.
She sighed as she felt the warm air wash over her, and discarded her soaking wet garments.

Then she saw Spike sitting on her sofa.
"Spike? What in Equestria are you doing in here? Wouldn't you rather be outside, in the snow?"

The dragon shook his head. Then it occured to Rarity why. Dragon, she told herself. Cold-blooded.

*****

Meanwhile, in Canterlot, in her private tower, her highness Princess Luna dreamt unusual dreams.
" Do you, Luna, she of the night and wind and water, artist of the sky, and five-time drinking champion of Old Canterlot, take this abacus as your lawfully wedded husband?"
"Yes!" The bride said.

"And do you, Abacus, take this alicorn as your lawfully wedded wife?"
There was a pause.

"The abacus says yes!"
The minster stared at Luna disapprovingly.

"I must hear it from him."
There were murmurs in the crowd behind her, and Luna just knew that Celestia was shaking her head. They'd said she was mad to try and start a relationship with an abacus. Her! Mad! But she would prove them.

"I d-" The abacus spoke.
Luna's heart soared with joy, just as she felt the temperature drop dramatically, a strange cold feeling moving across her face.
She opened her eyes, dislodging the snow on her face, stood on all fours and roared.

"WHO DARES DISTURB OUR ROYAL SNOOZE?!" She boomed, the windows rattling at the sheer volume of her rage. She saw the faintest glimpse of something pink and purple leaving the room. She rushed after it. She heard a faint giggle as she rushed out into the freezing cold December morning. Her attacker was nowhere in sight. And Luna knew with grim certainty that her dreams of bizarre marriages to inanimate objects wouldn't be returning.

"Very well, niece of mine. Let us match wits."

*****

Cadance sneaked along through the castle, making sure to check every few moments that Luna was following. After a few moments it became clear Luna wasn't following. She sighed. It had been worth a try. The pink alicorn walked along the way and found Shining Armor standing near the door to the throne room trying to look inconspicuous. Or as inconspicuos as a stallion can look when wearing gold and purple armor, with a festive hat stretched over his helmet. The strange looks were the price he payed for not upsetting his girlfriend and getting subject to an attack by nap vampires again.

"Yes?" He said.
"Woke her up, but I don't think it worked."

"Told you" he said, and Cadance was sure she could see the edge of his mouth begin to curl, just a bit. She looked up.
"Oh, Shining, look. Misletoe." The stallion looked up, noticing there was indeed a sprig of it hovering above them. His highly trained guard senses also told him Cadance was leaning in, closer, and closer, and closer.

"DARK VENGEANCE!".
Suddenly the entire corridor was hit by a flash-blizzard, covering carpet and floor with several feet of snow. After a few seconds of utter stillness two ponies burst out from the snow and struggled to find their footing. Luna, Princess of Moment Killing, floated above them next to an utterly spent snow-cloud, watching with a sinister smirk on her face.

"Good morning, your highness" Shining Armor said with as much decorum as he could muster, trying to free a hoof from helping Cadance stand up to salute. The princess of the night kicked the cloud she had gathered a bit, shaking lose a few more snowflakes.
"Is our message clear, niece, or shall we be forced to elaborate? Do not wake us in that fashion again." Her gaze turned toward Shining Armor. "Now, is our sister attending to matters of state?"

"No, your highness. She said it was a 'snow day', and sent everypony home."
"We are surrounded by mad-ponies" Luna muttered, and began to fly away, but not before shooting Cadance a Stare, though there was the faintest hint of a grin on her face.

Shining Armor looked at the hallway full of snow, trying to figure out how Luna had acquired enough to make a full blizzard in the space of barely a few minutes. He then considered what the reaction of Celestia's staff would be to this. Apparently a lot of ponies, Celestia included, had been complaining about the carpetry outside the throne room for some time now, so maybe there wouldn't be that much shouting. His concern over matters of state vanished when he saw a malicious grin on Cadance's face.

"You're going to go do it again tomorrow, aren't you?" he asked, incredibly sure of what the answer would be.
"Oh, yes" Cadance said, before kissing him.

*****

Luna slowly flew through the castle, trying not to look like she'd enjoyed herself. She was trying to build the image of a humourless type, and Cadance's little wake-up call wasn't going to help with that.
She flew past Celestia, calmly sitting in one of the hallways, sipping from a styrofoam cup containing what smelt like coffee. She saw the sly smirk on her sister's face. When it came to the elder princess, she had many kinds of smirk, and a thousand years on her own had allowed her time to practice all new types of smirk, but this was one Luna recognised.

"This was your doing, wasn't it?" Luna frowned, dropping to the floor and staring her sister in the face. Celestia tried to look innocent, but this didn't last.
"I only suggested waking you up to see all the lovely snow our little ponies created. Everything beyond that was the result of Cadance and Shining Armor."

Luna stared at her. She lifted a hoof and pointed at her, cold fury all over the younger alicorn's face.
"Then I shalt inform Cadance you admired her knitting. And she will feel obligated to make for you an unbearably itchy pullover, and you will have to wear it, for otherwise you will seem rude and ungrateful!" Celestia's eyes went wide with shock.

"You wouldn't!"
"We would! In fact, we shall go inform her now." And so Luna rushed off, thoughts of returning to sleep forgotten, her elder sister staring dumbfounded before placing the styrofoam cup down and rushing after her.

This quickly resulted in the Canterlot press seeing the two princesses engaged in a snow-boulder throwing competition, wondering whether some new kind of madness had inflicted them, and speculating on a way to make a bad seasonal pun about it.

*****

The next morning, in Ponyville, and all was quiet, the ponies having been tired out from the start of winter, the snowball fight, and general assorted fun.
Trixie was woken by a strange thundering noise. It was Midday, who had woken and then instantly sneezed, and she looked like a wreck. There were bags under her eyes, and she looked generally bug-y.

"Oh, gheat" she muttered, "a cowd." Twilight quickly rushed over and placed a foreleg against her head.
"Don't worry," she said reassuringly, "I have a book on this sort of thing somewhere. Spike, go look in the kitchen for the emergency winter breakfast supplies."

"On it."
"Knew I shoubn't have stayed out there so longuh." The royal blue unicorn grumbled, as she looked for a pile of tissues. She groaned slightly.

Twilight came rushing back in with a book apparently claiming to have all known methods of fighting a cold. Midday's eyes went as wide as was possible. Who in the world would write such a book?
"Okay, this says... soup. Okay." Twilight looked uncertain, her eyes darting over the page repeatedly. "Doesn't specify what sort of soup, but that's alright, we'll just use trial and error."

"Just thow me into the sun" Midday said weakly.
Trixie looked confused.

"Don't you have healing spells or something?"
Midday just shook her head, though from the look on her face she quickly regretted that idea. "Dobn't work on diseases. Sobthingk to do with... oh, this one's gonna dribe me mad in a few minutes." Midday groaned.

"When's the last time you had a cold like this?" Twilight asked, to which Midday shrugged. She felt pain in her joints as she moved.
"Bed rest, it says will also help."

"Bike buck!"
"Language!" Twilight said.

"Hey, I thingk I'bm allowed this one." Midday retorted, defensively.
"Just hold on, I'll get the soup" Twilight said, rushing down the stairs. Trixie just smirked.

"Don'b you say a word" Midday said. Trixie waved her hoofs.
"I didn't say anything" the mare smiled as innocently as her mood allowed.

A thought occured to Midday.
"You seembed really interested in the... snow, everythingk, yesterday."

"Oh, that," Trixie laughed, "Well, it was just nice to spend the Hearth's Warming season inside for once, instead of in my little wagon, desperately trying not to freeze to death while also trying to refry some baked beans."
She looked around the room, and her ears drooped.

"Besides, I can't exactly go home."
"Why not?"

"Well, the snow, for one thing, and the fact that home is several hundred miles away. I wouldn't get there till the middle of January."
Midday just made a noise, and wondered whether the room was supposed to be spinning. She kicked her legs, shaking the bed sheets off and walked towards the stairs, though she did note she was having trouble walking in a straight line. Some few minutes later, she managed to get donwstairs, and into the kitchen, where she found Twilight and Spike standing over the stove.

"Aubergines? Where'd we get those from?" Twilight asked the dragon.
"How should I know? Should I put them in?"

Twilight gave this some thought. "Might as well."
"Soup by committee" Midday laughed. The two heads turned to look at her.

"I am not a committee!" Twilight said, irritated. Then her irritation turned to concern. "And you should be in bed!"
"Yeah, no. Not gonna work. I'd go mad into fifteen minutes."

"Twilight? We're out of chili" Spike said.
"Since when?"

"Oh..." Trixie coughed the sort of cough that causes stone dead silences. Everypony slowly turned to look at her.
"I might have used it the other week. I was going to replace it, but nopony in town had any. I checked all the farms as well."

There was a noise from Spike. "And the mustard's gone. Both regular and Prench."
"Sorry" Trixie said, sounding distinctly unapologetic. Midday glowered at her.

"We're gonna habe a conbersation later that you won't enjoy" she said, quietly, before groaning again.
"I could go check at Sugarcube Corner, see if Pinkie has anything in her stocks" Twilight suggested.

"Worbh a shot."

*****

Twilight walked into Sugarcube Corner, which was amazingly abandoned. She recalled Pinkie once explaining how the Hearth's Warming season was unkind to Mr and Mrs Cake for some reason. There was an annoying, and all-too familiar jingle playing.

"Frosty the snowmare"
Twilight closed her eyes and ignored it. Or at least tried really, really hard.

"Oh, hi Twilight" Pinkie declared. Twilight couldn't help but notice she already looked weary. Some of her hair almost looked deflated.
"Good morning, Pinkie Pie. I was wondering if you-"

"Sorry, Twilight" Pinkie said instantly, and strangely enough she was saying it slowly, rather than her usual frantic pace, "All sold out of gingerbread houses at the moment."
Twilight opened her mouth.

"And buns."
"No, I-"

"And cakes. (Gummy ate the last one.)"
"That's n-"

"Pies are utterly gone, too."
"PINKIE!"

"Yes, Twilight? Is there something you need beyond the items that I just mentioned aren't currently for sale?"
"I... need chillies."

Pinkie's smile changed into a grin.
"Okie-dokie-lokie." She walked around from the counter and stood in front of Twilight. She briefly glanced about conspiratorially, before leaning in closer.

"What sort of chilli do you require?"

*****

Twilight returned fifteen minutes later, after fourteen minutes of negotiating with Pinkie she never wanted to repeat again.
"I just wanted some chilli, not to haggle. I don't need to haggle." She muttered furiously to herself.

She entered the library and found Midday sitting on the comfy chair, drinking loudly out of a bowl.
"Oh, good. You're back. I was a bit worried you'd gotten drawn into escapades or something. Still, that's good. You're back and you've brought peppers! Good to know." The royal blue unicorn smiled gently. Then she saw the look on Twilight's face, and it looked like she was trying not to fall over laughing.

"Oh, bother. Yeah, my magic's acting up. Temporary side-effect, according to the book. And it seems to have chosen my voice-changing spell. Who do I sound like?"
Twilight blinked as she tried to get the sentence to make sense. "You sound like... Princess Celestia."

Midday laughed, before stopping quickly.
"Oh, I'm not going outside then. Otherwise we'll have Their Majesties' legal teams suing me into the next millennium." She lay back and sighed.

"But, on the plus side, I feel better, as you may have notice from my clearer enunciation."
"Can't you change your voice back?"

Midday raised her head up and lifted an eyebrow.
"Tried. Accidentaly turned Owly into a chicken." She waved a hoof before Twilight could get angry.

"Don't worry, it wore off in a few minutes, but he did peck me a bit."
Twilight suddenly became aware of an odd smell coming from the kitchen.

"What is that?" she asked. Midday looked around.
"Oh, Trixie probably got into the mayo. That would explain why it's been so quiet."

Twilight grimmaced.
"What's she going to do, with the mayonnaise?"

"Probably mix it in with her soup." Midday said.
Twilight suddenly felt her sanity beginning to crumble, and her stomach do odd things.

"Well, that's good. Good-good-good-good-good." She laughed.
"I'll just put these chilles where they belong, and then get back to making notes for the Hearth's Warming Play" she said, smiling in an unbalanced fashion.

"Looking forward to that" Midday said cheerfully, before taking another swig of the soup. Twilight stopped and looked at her.
"I don't know. You'll probably need time to recover, just in case you catch the cold again."

The royal blue mare's expression turned harsh. "Don't, don't try that. Unless you want to become Celestia's faithful chicken for ten minutes." Midday sneezed, and sniffed, her horn glowing oddly as she did.
"Who do I sound like now?" she asked.

"Princess Luna."
"Must be a running theme" she sighed.

There was a knock on the door.
"I'll get that" Spike cried out from the kitchen, rushing past Twilight as he did. He opened to door to see a mailmare standing on the doorstep.

"Oh, good morning, Ditzy" he said. The mailmare looked at him.
"Hello, Spike. I've got mail here for Midday."

"Hello, Ditzy" the blue unicorn managed. Ditzy stared in shock at her.
"You... sound..."

"I don't sound like myself? Yeah, I know. Should've been here a minute ago." Midday laughed. Spike took the letter.
"Hey, guess who this is from?" he said once he noticed the silver seal and blue sash.

"Coincidence abounds. Also, Ditzy, this is a bit later than your usual time."
The mailmare didn't miss a beat before responding. "It's the snow. Slows me down, and my assistant, despite our best efforts."

"Yeah!" Came a small voice from outside Midday's viewpoint, which sounded unbelievably like Dinky.
"But, I am a postal worker, and we always deliver!" the grey mare said, flaring her wings for added effect.

"Good to know."
"Well, see you later Spike, Your Higness. Tell Trixie I said 'hello'" Ditzy smirked, before closing the door.

Midday waved as the door closed, and then sneezed again.
"Hoo boy" She sighed, this time in Twilight's voice. Her expression suddenly soured.

"Oh, just perfect."
It was just five more days 'till Hearth's Warming, and four till the night of the play, and for Midday, time wasn't passing fast enough.

*****

Meanwhile, back in Canterlot.
"Really, you mean it?" Cadance smiled at the announcement her aunt had made, utterly ignoring the alarmed look the mare in front of her had.
"Yes?" Celestia said, hesitantly. Cadance cheered, and in a scary immitation of a certain purple pony started bouncing around in a circle around the princesses of night and day while repeating the word 'yes'. Shining Armor stood a great distance away, contemplating whether it was a good time to see a psychologist, or a psychiatrist, or just have himself committed to save time.

"What now?" Luna whispered.
"Run!" was all her sister could say.

The two quickly set off, leaving Cadance to keep bouncing in a circle saying 'yes' over and over again.

Comments

[shapeshiftingpedro]

Oh, yeah! The knitting thing!

[Narcosis]

This is possibly one of the most enjoyable chapters yet. I very much like your writing, and from what I have seen so far, you are one of the better authors on this site, as far as long fics are concerned.

[TwilightShipper]

take this abacus as your lawfully wedded husband?

Best chapter so far. I love the parts with Celestia, Luna, Cadence, and Shining Armor.

Best spell mishap with Midday ever.

[Dorath]

"... Parley?" Sweetie Belle squeaked.

Damn those Prench!

She briefly glanced about conspiratorially, before leaning in closer.
"What sort of chilli do you require?"

Pinkie Pie, Chili pusher.