The Twilight Child

by Detectivefish

A Lazy Afternoon

Midday sat on a small bench, enjoying the only slightly cold air of her second sunday in the past. She occasionaly passed the time conjuring illusionary pidgeons and firing little bolts of lightning at them. This was hardly productive, but it was mildy diverting. And it was either that or help Trixie practice new forms of illusion magic, which hadn't sounded remotely appealing. She had given up searching through the books in the library, although that may have been helped by Twilight deciding to reorganise everything again.

She hadn't realised her eyes had closed until she heard the hushed whisperings and giggles.
"Huh. I think she's fallen asleep."

"On a bench?"
"That ain't gonna help her posture."

"Anyone got a pen?"
She woke up to see three inquisitive faces staring at her, one pegasus, one unicorn, one earth pony. It took her a few seconds, but she did recognise them.

"Hi." The orange and purple pegasus said, as innocently as could be managed with a pen in her mouth.
"What are you doing?" asked Sweetie Belle, staring at the pidgeon illusion.

"Staving off boredom. It was either this or read books for five hours straight again." She dispelled the pidgeon, inadvertantly breaking the heart of a pidgeon in a nearby tree, which had just been about to approach the good-looking new pidgeon.
"Five hours?" the pegasus asked.

The three fillies looked at each other.
"Yeah." Midday laughed, "My mother used to call it CIS."

"CIS?" The earth pony, whom she recognised as Apple Bloom, asked.
"Cripplingly Intense Study. So tedious, so dreary." She looked at the three fillies again.

"Now what's got you three out on a..." She looked at a few wisps of cloud streaking around the dull grey sky.
"... day like this one?"

"We're just bored, is all." Sweetie Belle said.
"And we figured we'd come and say hello, what with not gettin' a chance to say hi all week." Apple Bloom smiled.

"So this" the pegasus said
"Is a friendly" Apple Bloom continued
"Ponyville hello from" smiled Sweetie Belle.
"THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS!" They cheered, shaking a few leaves off the nearby trees, followed by a small pyrotechnics burst from behind them. Midday leapt in shock.

"Sorry. Told you it was a bit too much, Scootaloo." Sweetie Belle said.
"You think? 'cuz it could've been bigger..."

"It's okay t' come back down, miss Eclipse" Apple Bloom said.
"Oh, no, I just got comfy in this tree. Why would I want to leave?" She dropped down from the tree and looked at the trio.

"How can you be bored, in Ponyville, home of Pinkie Pie?"
"We've not got anything else to do. Almost everywhere's shut today, so we can't go to the bowling alley." Scootaloo pouted.

"We keep trying different things, you see. We wanna get our Cutie Marks so we try anything we can think of, and... it doesn't really work that great."
"We keep ending up covered in tree sap."

"Or soot." Scootaloo muttered something under her breath.
"For the last time, Scoots, we ain't gonna be Cutie Mark Crusaders Pony Cannonballs!"

"We so could've."
"And that's before what happened when we tried to be Cutie Mark Crusaders Library Assistants."

"What happened?"
"Twilight forbid us from ever settin' hoof in the library again."

"What did you do, set fire to something?"
The three mares looked at each other.

"Sort'a."
"Sort'a'?' ... Was it something that shouldn't have been set on fire?"

"We kinda completely accidentaly set Spike on fire."
Midday couldn't even figure out a response to that.

"Y'see, there was a telescope and... well..." Scootaloo shuffled slightly.
Midday raised an eyebrow.

"Okay." She stood there.
"So, why do you want to get your Cutie Marks so badly?"

"Well... we're about the only ponies are school what don't have Cutie Marks." Apple Bloom said.
"And some rude, nasty little piece of work bullies you because of that?"

"How'd you know?" Scootaloo asked.
"Well, that looks like a rude, nasty little piece of work swaggering about over there." She nodded to over the other side of the park, where a small pink earth pony was in fact swaggering, as if walking through some throng of admirers. A silver-grey filly was walking closely behind her.

"I have a sudden urge to be elsewhere. Any of you girls care to join me?"
"Heck yeah." the trio said as one.

As they walked away, hoping the 'enemy' wouldn't notice them, Midday wondered what everypony else in town was doing their day.

*****

Trixie scanned the page again. She was Trixie Lulamoon, descendant of some of the most skilled stage magicians in Equestria, so why the heck was this spell giving her so much grief?
"Why won't you work?" She sighed.

*****

Rainbow Dash rolled in her sleep, thinking of a new plan involving water bombs and Trixie's hat, while dreaming of whole crowds chanting her name as she led the Wonderbolts in performing the famed Double Inside-Out Loop.
"So... awesome..." she smiled.

*****

Fluttershy sighed as she watched the birds circling overhead, heading for their winter nests.
"Would anyone like anything else?" The large bear sitting opposite her made a polite grunt, raising one of its front paws.

*****

Twilight Sparkle focused on the book. It vanished, and reappeared on the other side of the room.
"Yes! I can teleport other things! Spike, take a note of that."
"Huh, what, sorry?" Said Spike, still staring at his birthday present to himself.

*****

"C'mon everypony, get dancing! Less jigging, more swinging! Is this a party or are you waiting for a train? Pokey, Pokey! Watching the horn!"
"Sorry, Pinkie"

*****

"Fffffff...."
"Fun."

"Fffffffffffff"
"Fun, Aunt Luna. Come on, you can do it."

"Ffffffffffffffffffffffuh... I cannot. I simply cannot say it."
"But I though you said it on Nightmare Night."

"T'was different. I said it as FUN. You see? Completely different."
Cadance adjusted her tiara.

"Yes, I noticed. Regular 'fun' doesn't send me halfway across the room."
"I am sorry, niece."

"Well, the word 'fun' has been around for six hundred years, I'm certain you can learn it quicker than that. I mean, if I got Shining Armor to chew with his mouth closed, I can teach you to say a few words."
"This one seems un-teachable."

"We've only been trying for a few weeks. We haven't even gotten past 'f'. I hope 'relax' isn't going to give you as much trouble."
"That is not a word." Luna scoffed, "We would have heard of it."

*****

Two mares sat together in a quiet back-room, where they hadn't been doing anything at all dirty.
Actually, one of them had just been playing music. And cuddling the brains out of the other.

"Oh, gotta go. I should probably open the store again. I said I was only going to get coffee" One muttered.
"Mmm."

"Lyra, let go."
"Mmm-mm."

"I mean it."
"Don' wanna."

"Be a shame if something stopped me from going to Canterlot with you in a few weeks." Bon-Bon smirked.
"You're mean, sweetie."

"And you're so lazy."
"Am I? Am I really?" The mint green unicorn nuzzled against the back of Bon-Bon's neck.

"And you're evil, did I mention evil?"
"And here I though you only dated me for my flank."

*****

Rarity clinged to the rock-face, trying not to focus on the laughter of her nemesis.
"Ah, Rarity. What a shame for you, your life hanging by a thread. It would be such a tragedy if you were to fall." Generous Embrace laughed her annoying laugh.

"Soon, my domination of the Ponyville fashion scene shall be complete, and then my greatest plan yet shall unfold. And I'll be free of any meddlesome competition. Ciao, for now." The amber-furred unicorn laughed as she walked away, leaving Rarity still trying to maintain a grip on the mountain.

"What a ghastly waste of a sunday." She fumed.
"Next time, I'll just go to Pinkie's party."

*****

"Hee! Mommy bit her tongue again!"
"Dithn't."

Dinky Doo and Amethyst Sparkler giggled.
"Right, no muthins for anyone. Nod even me. And I mean id!"

She looked at the two fillies, and tried not to laugh at their shocked faces.
"We'll be good." Dinky squeaked.

*****

Shining Armor knew his enemy, knew it well. Shapeless and limitless, both without form and well-defined. Thank goodness it was slightly cold, or he'd probably be falling asleep quicker. Last time he'd fallen asleep on the job someone had drawn a fake goatee on his muzzle. And he was fairly certain he knew who it had been.

*****

"Uh, your Majesty? Sorry to bother you, but I have something for you to read"
There was snoring from under the door to the throne room.

"It's just that it's very urgent."
More snoring.
"I'll just... just leave it here." the aide muttered, nudging the paper under the door.

*****

Applejack stared at the sight before her. Her own brother, her own brother sleeping curled up under a tree, a small and very well-used looking donkey doll lying next to him. And it even had a quill and a notepad, if somepony wanted to pretend the doll was doing its homework.
"Why me? Why do I haf'ta be stuck with a head-case fer a brother?"

*****

"Ooh, 'the big book of siege warfare'. Tell me, girls, how fast do you think you can run?"
"Ah dunno. Pretty fast? Why?"

"Well, I think Diamond Tiara could be taken down a peg, don't you?"
"What do you need?"

"We're gonna need some water balloons. And construction equipment, and we'll meet up at the park in fifteen minutest"
"I though I said you three weren't allowed in here?" Twilight Sparkle said, taking advantage of the lull in the conversation.

"But we'-"
"They're with me." Midday saw Twilight's disapproving expression.

"Don't worry, I'm responsible. ... I can be responsible. I have been, on occasion. ... I should have some practice at it."
Twilight stared, amazed at how quickly Midday had backpedalled on herself.

"C'mon, CMC. Let's go prank somepony!"
It had taken a short while to convince the CMC that pranking somepony who was a 'jerk' was not so bad as just randomly pranking a stranger. Actually, Scootaloo had seemed all too eager to go along with it, now that Midday gave it some thought.

*****

"Nice day, isn't it DT?"
"Hmmph. Do you ever think anything you don't say, Silver Spoon?"

"Sorry, DT."
Although she wasn't going to admit Silver Spoon was right, it was an okay day for Diamond Tiara. Almost nopony had bothered her today.

Unfortunately for Diamond Tiara, her good mood was about to burst.

*****

The four bumped hooves in triumph when they heard the shriek of horror from Diamond Tiara.
"It worked!" They cheered. Then they heard the bellowing.

"Now, I think we should probably run."

Comments

[Sidetrack]

"Fffffff...."
"Fun."
"Fffffffffffff"
"Fun, Aunt Luna. Come on, you can do it."
"Ffffffffffffffffffffffuh

grandmarq.net/vb/attachment.php?attachmentid=36241&d=1370655248

[zoruatrainer66]

Luna...

A pony out of time...

Literally without fun and relax in her dictionary...

I like it.

[notapony]

I don't understand how this story doesn't have more likes. This is so much fun so far. Every pony in this story is completely crazy, but in a very fun way.

[Dorath]

She dispelled the pidgeon, inadvertantly breaking the heart of a pidgeon in a nearby tree, which had just been about to approach the good-looking new pidgeon.