Black and White

by Bluesparkks

Original Author's Notes, incl. Post-publishing Addendum and Information on Future Works

--------------------------------------------------- Author’s Notes --------------------------------------------------

I hope you all enjoyed reading this fic’ as much as I enjoyed writing it, even if my OCD inner grammar pony went berserk several times during its creation. I spent a fairly significant chunk of time deciding whether or not to actually submit this to Equestria Daily. Here’s a few fun facts, see if you can figure out why:

- The "and" in the title graphic is actually colored with Octavia's coat and outline colors.
- Black and White is based on a true story. About 80% of it is factually accurate.
- Cannoli, Cloudburst, Vinyl Scratch, Lyra, Bon-Bon and Octavia are all based on actual people.
- If IRL-Cloudburst, IRL-Vinyl Scratch, and/or IRL-Bon-Bon were bronies and read this story, they probably wouldn't recognize themselves.
- If IRL-Cannoli and/or IRL-Lyra were bronies and read this story, they would definitely recognize themselves.
- IRL-Cannoli would probably know that it was her from her pony's name alone.
- IRL-Lyra's revelation would take a bit longer, but she'd figure it out. Of that I have no doubt. [/Zecora]
- If IRL-Octavia were a brony and read this story, he would wonder why in Celestia's name he's re-reading the story he's already spent weeks on writing, editing, proofreading, rewriting, and being generally displeased with.

I guess it technically isn’t a ‘self-insert’ by the standard definition, as I didn’t create an OC pony for myself. I truly see enough of myself in Octavia’s fanon that I don’t feel overly awkward and out of place stepping into her hooves and projecting my own story into her background. I can only hope that it doesn’t ruin her for anypony, and if it did, I’m super-sorry! D: Please don’t hate me!
Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it. If you have a comment, question, suggestion, or if you’ve run across a typo, leave a comment on the Equestria Daily page, shoot me an email at , or send me a tweet @melionos. Thanks for reading and keep on rockin’! Bronies forever!

----- ADDENDUM (as of Jan. 23, 2012)-----

This story is not recent--it's actually several months old, only recently uploaded to FiMFiction.net to widen its audience. So huge thanks to RBDash47, who kindly reformatted the entire story for deviantArt. In lieu of its age, there are several things I would like to note. Firstly, I made no tweaks to neither the story or the original author's notes above, to preserve the story's impact. Secondly, I would like to thank everyone--and I mean everyone--who read the story and sent me an e-mail, contacted me about it, did fan art for it, gave me outstanding feedback, or anything of the sort. I read every comment and every e-mail--even if I cannot find time to give a meaningful reply, so for that, thank you. You guys keep me going whether you know it or not.

Fanworks or other things of note I am aware of:

- Signature by Murdoc1905 :: Simple but elegant signature by a fellow MMO-C forumgoer.

- Octavia Onstage by DavidsWolfGoddess13 :: Awesome. What else can I say?

- Octavia and Vinyl by Pescean :: More awesome art, but I have to admit, it was rather unsettling seeing Octavia portrayed as dark-skinned as this, primarily because I'm Asian and have the darkest skin in my immediate family, but also because that's exactly the kind of expression I'm often wearing. Awesome, awesome stuff regardless.

- Little Octavia by BeatleBrony :: Amazing stuff. The musicians in this fanbase never cease to amaze.

- Octavia's Loneliness :: Recent addition, courtesy of FIMprov. Chilling, haunting. 'Nuff said.

- Melionos Interview by RBDash47 :: I really can't say much else about this except "thank you", so that will have to do.

- Whisked Away by the Wind by EonEvolution :: Another example of the brony fanbase blowing me away. Honestly, guys, I don't know how you do it.

- Pulling Misery by EonEvolution :: And a beautifully retouched-up of the above. I'm no good at Photoshop, so the way people can edit stuff in like this--cartoon ponies, no less--and make it look this good astounds me.

The story can also be found on Equestria Daily (contains a link to the Kindle version), the Pony Fiction Archive, and as an audiobook courtesy of ScorchedMechanic, the same wonderful guy who brought you the audiobook version of Fallout: Equestria.

In regards to future ponyfic's--I have been working on one under the working title of Brushstrokes for--well, virtually since Black and White's original EqD debut. Progress is and has been, for the most part, slow, as after the massively positive reception of this story, quality checks are not something I wish to take lightly. It is to be an adventure-styled fic' very much in the spirit of PK's Antipodes, Daetrin's Off the Edge of the Map/Apotheosis, and Jetfire's It's A Dangerous Business, Going Out Your Front Door. There will be minor shipping, but I am avoiding grimdark and instead focusing on other themes. For those that are still interested, here's the current EqD description I plan on running with:

There was little room in Inkwell’s life for anything other than his day job in Canterlot and his mostly-mute father, Mobi. But when the latter ups and vanishes one day with naught but a three-sentence note left behind, the young colt sets off after him, determined to discover what’s caused his father’s disappearance. What he finds transcends that which he thought unthinkable and goes far beyond the fate of an old grey unicorn.

A snippet from a chapter early on:

The sun reappeared in the window, brushing against the horizon. Inkwell had just started nodding off when the mare’s eyes flew open, sending him tumbling out of his chair in shock. She had pulled herself upright by the time he found his footing, and for a moment, they just stared blankly at each other, his eyes connecting to a sharp, slate-grey pair. Her expression was indecipherable; bewilderment was the only thing that he could detect at all, and even that might’ve just been his imagination.

Those digging around my deviantArt page may run across other Brushstrokes-related things--but I would like to note that I am not very far into writing the story overall, and anything above or on my deviantArt page is only tentative and is subject to further changes and/or redesigns.

One more thing I should mention is that thanks to Twitter's refusal to let me abuse multiple-login features like Google, my @melionos account is virtually dead, as it is difficult and very clunky to use with any regularity. If you would like to contact me for any reason (even if it's flaming or death threats), you may find me in any of these places.

- Twitter (This is my actual Twitter account, so please be gentle): @bluesparkks

- E-mail: [e-mail]

- MMO-Champion: Bluesparks

- Steam: Zephyr (I change my Steam username a lot xD)

- League of Legends (NA): Melionos (So sue me, I want to play with [more] bronies)

- DeviantArt: Melionos

I can only hope that the story lives up to my expectations just as much as it does yours. It would honestly be impossible to say whether my expectations of Brushstrokes or yours would be greater--to exceed Black and White's reception is my lowest of expectations, to match IADB,GOYFD/Antipodes/OTEOTM/Apotheosis would be near the middle, to outdo Past Sins is my highest (reasonable) expectation, and to match Fallout: Equestria would literally be a dream come true. If you would like to proofread, edit, provide additional perspectives, or comment on the Brushstrokes WIP, my contact info is above. But be forewarned: As I've said, I put my WIP through the strictest quality filters I can. Do not bother contacting me if all you want is a sneak peek or to hang out in GDocs chat. I am all too aware of how high some of my expectations are, and I am also all too aware of how easily someone can manipulate me into failing at any of them, intentionally or not. I know that sounds cold, but I hope that puts you in clear touch with how seriously I take my writing and how sincerely I would like to achieve or outdo my aforementioned expecations of myself and my work. If you still feel up the challenge (I will be asking for proof of literary prowess), again, my contact info is above.

Thank you all again. Your support is priceless, and I look forward to giving you the best ponyfic' I can offer for you to sink your literary teeth into. Keep on rockin', people. Keep on rockin'.

Comments

[Jykinturah]

... Though I rated it 5 stars it is claiming that I have rated it at 3.

But I am very glad to see this here, it was a very touching story.

[Daetrin]

It's about time that you put it up here! Glad to see it.

[Fuse]

Ah yes, I read this on Pony Fiction Archives. Allow my to repost my response, as it still sums up my thoughts on this story.

Reading this was quite painful. This pain does not lie with any sort of grammatical or literary error within the story, nor does it even lie with feelings for the characters involved. No, this is an existing pain; long since hidden behind a mask of indifference. The raw emotion, the absolute depths of disparity; few know of (or believe exists) this level of depression, and fewer still are able to portray it accurately. Being one who walks the same path of grey, I'd say you've done a remarkable job.

We all have the masks we wear. Masks for every occasion and every emotion. The mask worn most often becomes second nature; the bearer sometimes forgetting entirely that it is a mask. More often than not, it takes another with a similar mask to remind us of the one we wear.

My own mask faltered when I reached the end of this, and my true self poured forth. This story reminded me of who I truly am underneath the mask. I thank you for that.

[Anonymous XXX]

im glad this is here. i dont quite remember, but im pretty sure this is what inspired me to start writing fanfiction (ponies only, of course). truly beautiful. and i thank you.

[Keirmar]

It's on the level of my little dashie sadness. I love it nevertheless.

[The Fallen One]

I love this story so much. Octavia is definitely one of my top background ponies...she's just all-out amazing. Classical, sophisticated, elegant...you pulled her off very well, even if it was technically a self-insert. 5 stars.

[Isrozzis]

Oh hey, you put it on Fimfic.

Cool.

[Cloudhammer]

Read this over on EqD, glad to see it here too so I can give you more stars and a favorite, truly a moving story

[Ichoris]

I believe Eon and Fuse have hit the nail on the head, this story is packed with a heartache that many of us seem to be quite familiar with. When you first showed me this story, Blue, I was hooked instantly. I felt so attached to Octavia, finding myself having to stop, go in my bathroom, and cry because she and I shared so much in common in the way she was written. It, as Fuse said, unmasks those old wounds that almost never seem to have enough time to heal. While I've never experienced a heartbreak of that magnitude, it is such a powerful read I am just torn apart as I move through those words; even though the stunning pain I feel from this story is much more intense than I had first anticipated when I first read it, I know it's nothing more than a fraction of how it must truly feel.

As painful as it was, it provides such a comforting feeling the more you read it. The emotions evoked from your amazing story aren't exactly a rare occurrence for me, being as I find my emotion through song or story. It is, however, the intensity of those emotions, the raw power you've placed in those words that really does you justice as a writer. That's what makes you an amazing writer, that's what separates you from many others, and that's the foundation of excellency in writing.

Kudos, truly, my friend. You earned this 5 of 5, now everyone else needs to read this so they can throw their 5's at you as well.

[mryekcim]

I am kinda new. How do i add this to my favorites?

[SeaLight]

This story is SO AWESOME!

[RogerDodger]

I read this story back in July when it was posted on EquestriaDaily. I've taken every opportunity since to laud it as the greatest one-shot produced in this fandom, and I still stand by that today. I don't have any way of accurately articulating praise for this story, so I'll just leave it at that.

In my recommending this to many-a folk someone told me that the constant font changing became a bit jarring, so I decided to go a bit, well, editorial on it (mainly little things—removing the accent from forte, standardising the ellipses, fixing inconsistencies with inter-word spaces, disambiguating nested quotes), to "spruce" it up a bit, as it were. It was also a nice opportunity for me to throw the story through the nostalgia test—this was one of the first fan-fictions I had read, after all. But this third reading was no less impacting than the first, and I'll still continue recommending this story at every possible occasion.

(One thing to note: you use the British grey while everything else uses American English (where it's spelt gray). This is left as is in my edit, since I didn't want to change any of the words, but it may be something you'd like to change yourself.)

The resulting .pdf of my editing: http://goo.gl/E1qor
If you'd like the .tex file to work with this yourself, or if you'd like it exported in some other format, or if you'd like me to take it down for whatever reason, just ask.

Thank you for this gift to the community.

[Martinator42]

This is such a beautiful story!

[ForlanceAbice]

So... I am under the impression that things went north for both you and Octavia, is that not fair to say?

[AppleTank]

198992
Star at the top of the page, right of the title. Click it.
I see a little of the mask Octavia wears on me. Except I just make a different personality. Very few people know my true personality unless they have known me for a very long time, and even so, I still hide many things to myself. I don't know if I'm worse or not.

Interestingly enough, the mask of anonymity cracks the mask I wear in real life, mostly because I can choose my audience and because I can speak more eloquently.
Oh, and this song seems to fit the mood pretty well.

[Kelnak]

We all wear masks. Have to, if we want to survive. Eventually though, the masks just won't come off. And soon we forget what's behind it.

Yeah, if that didn't give it away, I can empathise with Octavia. The masks, the soul crushing loneliness, the endless emptiness your desperate to fill...

I can't be as eloquent as 157282 but you get the point.

[Kelnak]

We all wear masks. Have to, if we want to survive. Eventually though, the masks just won't come off. And soon we forget what's behind it.

Yeah, if that didn't give it away, I can empathise with Octavia. The masks, the soul crushing loneliness, the endless emptiness your desperate to fill...

In some ways, it's like reading a bit of my life. So many mistakes, so much need to express, so much fear of rejection. Like this post. I want to say something meaningful, all I can say is this pseudo philosophical junk.

Er, sorry. Rambling. Point is, it stirred some feeling in me. Not as much as I expected given the hype, but that was mostly my inner perfectionist noting story elements.

I'm shutting up now.

[Kapuchu]

I usually avoid sad/tragedy stories... But there's just something that urges me to read this...

I will try to read it at a later date, for now - Read Later

[bookplayer]

i1084.photobucket.com/albums/j412/bookplayer/ThankYoucopy.jpg
Your story was added to The Dreamers in the folder Dreams of Hope.

[Scors]

Having just finished this story, I must say. Well done!
I wouldn't have said it's Tragic, but sad definitely marks it. Well done, indeed.

[G-AB Acid]

இڿڰۣ---

[The Princess Rarity]

I listened to this on MLP Audiobooks and broke down in tears. Wonderful job, my good author.

[Zirusianna]

Still one of the best Octavia fics out there, if not the best.

It's a joy to read and re-read, and an inspiration.

[The Computer Pony]

My god, this story is amazing. There is so much emotion put into it.

[DraconequusMaximus]

reminds me far too much of myself

[Honeytongue]

4817466
Me too.
Yeah, more Vinyl involved would have made it better in one way.

OMG...I can't believe there is so much about this version of Octavia (and what she has gone/ is going through) that I can relate to.

[Stormcloud1120]

WHY HAVE I NOT READ THIS SOONER!!!

It was a great story, I loved it from beginning to end and very heart touching.

[WisdomPen]

I love this story it is literally my No.1 favourite fanfic it is miles ahead of Rainbow Factory, My Little Dashie or Past Sins seriously I would pay loads to buy this in physical form.

[ObabScribbler]

[BirdsBooksBrownies]

I have added this story to a shelf in my fimfiction library dedicated to bittersweet stories, yes bittersweet.

There are many characters that I have come to love in the fandom, there is more than one that I have something of a crush on, Octavia being one of them. I am no musician, but I do appreciate good music, I like many different genres from happy upbeat pop to deep somber cello and just about everything in between.

This story struck a chord in me, I too often wear a mask, I hide behind jokes and friendly banter. But like Octavia, I don't know, I have a tendency to second guess my thoughts and decisions, my feelings and desires. Not to say that every friendly remark I make is hollow,but it is something I struggle with. I also bury myself in the worlds of fanfictions. As Octavia said, a good story or piece of music or art can speak to the soul in ways that surpass even the experiences of daily life, particularly now where days seem to blend together.
I hope that in time Octavia can find happiness.

[MixMassBasher]

Very symphonic. This story.

[PaulAsaran]

You can has review!